This looks like an amazing course. As of late my relationships have fallen into disarray and I realize I need support for a new life. Self-forgiving now. Why I let this get in the way of Desteni I know not.
Hey James. Definitely suggest considering the Agreement Course - it is indeed awesome and very 'grounded' in supporting oneself in walking one's practical reality relationships with self and others to relationships as agreements that are best for all.
A point I suggest looking at is within the the following statement:
"Why I let this"
Within these words you are implying that you are separate from the manifestation of the "relationships falling into disarray" and yourself as responsible within saying that you let "this" get in the way - while in fact it is always ourselves that get in our own way, through participating within and as the mind, through backchat, through memories, through internal relationships and patterns - so from that perspective: you let you as the mind
get in the way.
There is thus no "this" separate of or from you. What is cool in bringing such a point back to self is also that one can then start directing oneself within and as it, because one no longer focuses on an external undefined point as "this" that one believes and accept has control over oneself and can instead start directing oneself to understand how one created the experience/point/pattern and thereby support oneself to stop and stand up.
"get in the way of Desteni"
here you are separating yourself from you walking your process, by defining your process of self-realization and stopping the mind as "Desteni". You can thus work with the point of realizing that WE are Desteni - YOU ARE Desteni, within and as walking your process of standing up and stopping the mind, as each walk their process and we together walk as "Desteni".
So the full sentence could thus be "why I let myself as the mind, as who and what I have accepted myself as, get in the way of me walking my process of standing up and stopping the mind"
- which is thus describing the pinnacle of the point of acceptance and allowance
: that we let the mind direct us instead of directing ourselves and thus let the mind "get in the way"
which is actually allowing the mind to be "THE way" because that is what we have accepted and allowed ourselves to accept ourselves in and as. So the reason why you "don't know" is because you have not been looking at the point/experiences from a starting-point of it being self-created by and of yourself, but instead as separate from and of yourself, looking at "this" as being the "problem", something undefined and "Desteni" as the "solution" - both points separated from and of yourself - instead of you standing as both points: as that which created the manifestation/experience of your relationships "falling in disarray" as who you are and as that which solves it in changing who you are through standing up and correcting yourself and your participation in your relationships.
Lastly I suggest looking at is the definition of the relationships "falling in disarray". Here it would be cool if you can provide some more information about what exactly you are referring to when you say "disarray" because such a point could indicate many different points such as judgments self holds towards one's relationships and how one believes relationships are supposed to be or it could be that relationships "falling" because self is starting to stand up in self-honesty or it could be that the relationship self has with others is reflecting one's own relationship with and within one self and it is thus self that is "falling in disarray" but is projecting this outside of self and thus separating self from what self is accepting and allowing.
So suggest to write out in specificity what exactly it is that has "falling in disarray" and then walk the self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements of releasing all judgments/reactions/backchat/experiences and bring the points back to self in and as self-responsibility, seeing where you've separated yourself from yourself and then walk the practical correction.
Suggest to continue this writing in your thread in the Write yourself to Freedom
Thanks for sharing