Thank you for taking the time to share your story, I've been aware of you around facebook so it's very cool to get to know more of you through this post and know your story.
Your message/post was quite clear and quite detailed in nature, which shows that you got the ability to use your mind quite effectively if you decide to do so. You can also considering looking at what happens if you let go of the possible mistakes or faulty lines in your writing and simply post it, see what happens if you don't go through it re-writing it many times or spending too much time to it because it can become a daunting process when in fact, writing is something that can be most supportive and settling for ourselves, if we also let go of any fear of being judged or being 'wrong' in how we speak/write, so that's a consideration for you to look at and test out for yourself.
I'd very much encourage you to assist yourself both with the support of your psychiatrist and get the permission of your Dr. to at the same time enroll back into DIP Lite if you'd like to start again or continue where you left off. We do require a specific format that you can request at firstname.lastname@example.org
in order for you to be able to take on any course (DIP/DIP Lite/ Agreements course) as a point of self-responsibility in relation to your mental health history and with the medications you've been taking, so that's for your awareness and consideration. After you get that permit, by all means do get this support because there are many points that would be 'too much' to simply say/walk through in a post here, but I am aware how it must have been also a relief for you to write out all of these points for yourself and sharing them here with us.
So! A series that I've recommended various individuals that I've worked with/known have had similar situations and experiences as you is the following one which I personally recommend: Voices in my Mind - Death Research - Part 1
this is the first part but there are 5 parts to it, so check them all out, very very supportive stuff to understand what it means to create a mind possession in detail.
There's the recent Living Principle series by Cerise and Joe as well, awesome stuff here: Stepping Out of A Possession - Principled Living
And what Desteni stands for is demonstrating in a plethora of explanations and ways how it IS possible to create solutions if we work on living the corrections day by day and moment by moment. So, by all means you can check out the Future of Consciousness
series (recently renamed to Future of Awareness) that contains various supportive explanations about how to walk through one's mind
Now, about your free time, if you see you'd like to contribute someway to spreading the material, let us know if you'd be up for transcribing some interviews, if that's something you can do in your free time - because we use them to then translate them into other languages in eqafe.com. Let us know on that one, but most importantly, giving yourself an activity you can dedicate yourself to is the most supportive thing to do.
You can also check out people's profiles like Tormod Hvidsten and Nick Knight who have walked some processes as well in terms of schizophrenia and medical support for it as well as the directions they are giving to their lives for self-support.
It's great that you have decided to start supporting you Gregor, we'd like many more people to realize what is possible if one decides to take responsibility for our creations in our minds and in our reality and not get a form of despair about it or seeing no way through, but learning how to stand from it day by day, bit by bit.
I also suggest the Self Forgiveness recordings shared on Eqafe, you can choose and test out which one you see would be supportive for you, you can hear and read along a text which makes it a very supportive and grounding process to learn then how to write your own self-forgiveness as well.
You can also keep sharing here in the forum and open a blog as well if you'd like to share it out there when you start writing yourself to support you in your corrective process, so you are welcome to ask here as well or read other threads with topics you have further questions on and participate, we all can learn from each other that way.
Enjoy participating here and welcome