Matti's Blogs

Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 07:58

Day 349: Being Solution Oriented when Facing a Creative Standstill
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/03/da ... -when.html

I recently reached a 'creative standstill' in my painting, and here I share how I assisted and supported myself to apply being Solution Oriented in order transform this scenario from an emotionally charged experience, to a learning experience and opportunity to specify, redefine, and expand myself in relation to my process of skill development in painting.
https://youtu.be/xiZ81P3Hm9E



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 07:58

Album Review: "Higher Purpose" by J Jesus --- Meaningful Music!
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/03/al ... jesus.html

Congratulations to my fellow Destonian J Jesus on the release of his new album Higher Purpose!
https://youtu.be/xp19-ZC010Q



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 08:00

Day 350: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 1
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/03/da ... -life.html

I'd like to share my experience with living the word Equality within the context of day to day interactions with people, and specifically in the context of relationships.

In my previous relationship experience there were many scenarios in which I would react to my partner and end up contributing to and participating in conflict and blame. These conflict experiences served as consequences which, after the relationship ended, ultimately supported me to see and realize that I had been living the word Equality more as an 'idealized, general value' - where, although I was standing within the principle that we are all Equal as Life and that thus we are all in fact 'the same self' in a way, I lacked a specific 'daily life' definition, which resulted in an effective structure with which to support myself to interact, express, and walk with my partner in a way that is best for us both.

In short, I realized that I was actually living the word Equality as a point of separation - where, I was wanting another being and 'our world that we are sharing together', to become equal to 'my preferences and wants', rather than really learning to equalize myself / change myself / adapt myself to walk WITH another who is DIFFERENT from me. Within this, I realized that there were aspects of my partner in terms of 'the way they do things', and 'the way they express themselves', that I in essence 'didn't want to be equal to' / 'didn't want to be part of my world'. Yet these differences in another which I resisted / had an aversion to / judged - actually ended up being gifts which opened up points of self change and self expansion for me.

Stay tuned as I open this point of further in my next post.



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 08:00

Day 351: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 2
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/03/da ... -life.html

Continuing from: Day 350: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 1

I realized that I was actually living the word Equality as a point of separation - where, I was wanting another being and 'our world that we are sharing together', to become equal to 'my preferences and wants', rather than really learning to equalize myself / change myself / adapt myself to walk WITH another who is DIFFERENT from me. Within this, I realized that there were aspects of my partner in terms of 'the way they do things', and 'the way they express themselves', that I in essence 'didn't want to be equal to' / 'didn't want to be part of my world'. Yet these differences in another which I resisted / had an aversion to / judged - actually ended up being gifts which opened up points of self change and self expansion for me.

So what I describe above as 'my preferences and wants', I want to specify rather as 'the way I do things and what works for me'. This is because the primary scenario in which I would react and create conflict with my partner, is when my partner would become emotional / reactive to me, which I would experience as: 'they are not listening to my suggestions, my input, my perspective'. And this would repeat over and over again, and I would inevitably go into blame and judging them for 'not listening to me'.

What I found within this is that the reason I would react and blame them and was seemingly unable to give up the blame, was because I saw my perspective, my suggestion, my input as being completely valid. And this being because I would be giving perspectives and input and suggestions from the starting point of things that had worked for me, and were aligned with the way I do things, the pace at which I do things. And so, when my partner would 'not accept the validity of what I'm saying' - I would become frustrated and blame them 'for being stubborn and not being willing to consider something that I saw as being 'what is best' -- but which, was actually only that which had worked for ME in the context of my relationship to myself.

So the key here in terms of the word Equality, is that I realized that I was wanting my partner to do things the way I do things, because 'since it worked for me, then it will work for you'. But within this what I did not take into account is that hey - my partner is NOT ME. My partner is DIFFERENT! They are a different person, with a different background, different mind, different temperament, different expression, different skills, different strengths and weaknesses, and they have a different relationship with themselves which - I do not fully see and understand.

I realized that I was wanting my partner to 'be equal to me' -- instead of learning to live as an equal with my partner, accepting that they are different, and that what works for me might not work for them at all, and that I need to take responsibility to be patient and get to know my partner better as a being -- and that to do this, I can't judge they ways in which they are different from me.

Stay tuned for the next post...



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 08:01

Day 352: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 3
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/04/da ... -life.html

Continuing from Day 351: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 2

The key here in terms of the word Equality, is that I realized that I was wanting my partner to do things the way I do things, because 'since it worked for me, then it will work for you'. But within this what I did not take into account is that hey - my partner is NOT ME. My partner is DIFFERENT! They are a different person, with a different background, different mind, different temperament, different expression, different skills, different strengths and weaknesses, and they have a different relationship with themselves which - I do not fully see and understand.
I realized that I was wanting my partner to 'be equal to me' -- instead of learning to live as an equal with my partner, accepting that they are different, and that what works for me might not work for them at all, and that I need to take responsibility to be patient and get to know my partner better as a being -- and that to do this, I can't judge they ways in which they are different from me.

Here are Self Forgiveness statements in continuation from the previous post:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to be equal to me / how I am / my particular expression / the way I approach things / my point of view, and to believe that if I were to embrace, walk with, and adapt myself to another's differences, that would mean I am 'not being true to myself', and that I would be 'compromising myself'

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I started my last relationship / agreement, want to rush into pushing and helping and supporting my partner to change themselves within points of emotion, reaction, and resistance, because I had accepted and allowed myself to have the idea that a relationship means that both partners will become 'the same', and do things the same way

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk into a relationship from the starting point of wanting another to be like me, in terms of what I see as my strengths and points where I am effective

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what I see as my strengths and points where I am effective, and to not realize that in creating a relationship with someone, living with someone, the dynamic of daily life will not be the same as when I live alone, and that I don't know right in the beginning what will be effective in terms of working with practical daily life points with another person, but that I will have to be flexible, adaptable, patient, and willing to change and expand my point of view about what is effective, what is the right way to do things, as I get to know the other person - which cannot be rushed, as getting to know another person as who they are inside and out, takes time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when my partner would not overcome particular resistances and fears the same way and pace that I would, to interpret my impatience experience as meaning that 'I am waiting for my partner to catch up to me', and to within this accept and allow myself to try and force / push them to change and do things the way I do them / at the pace I do them, instead of seeing and realizing that I created my own impatience through comparing myself to my partner and judging the way they work with certain points within themselves

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage the development of trust, openness, sharing, and intimacy with my partner, through accepting and allowing myself to judge their differences instead of taking responsibility to learn to walk with my partner and their differences, and to within that trust myself that - when and as an opportunity opens up to support, give perspective, share - I will move myself in self expression -- and realizing that this will not be an action moved by / directed by an experience of impatience, reaction, or judgment

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that supporting another to live their utmost potential starts with getting to know who they are, how they are - in depth, without judging, comparing, desiring, or fearing that they will or will not change

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I began my last relationship, not be thorough in taking responsibility for any thoughts, reactions, judgments, desires, and fears that came up in relation to my partner, how they are, the ways they are different from me, and to accept and allow these experiences to influence and shape the way I interacted with my partner, which led eventually to consequence in the form of conflict, and me blaming my partner


Self commitment statements to follow in the next post.



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 08:02

Day 353: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 4
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/04/da ... -life.html

Self Commitment Statements in continuation of:
Day 352: Living Equality in Daily Life - Part 3

When and as I see myself comparing myself within judgment to another's 'different way of being, doing, and approaching things' within a personal relationship, I commit myself to identify and forgive whatever way or ways I am seeing me and my way and how I am as being superior / better / more than, and to realize that developing effective support, balance, communication, sharing, and stability with another isn't about 'getting another to be like me', but comes through walking with another and their differences, embracing them without judgment, so that I may get to know them in depth, to be able to clearly see where and how I can support them, without being influenced by the self interest of wanting to change another

When and as I begin a personal relationship with another, I commit myself to focus on myself first in terms of sharing what I see my own strengths and weaknesses are, instead of rushing to determine what the other's strengths and weaknesses are

When and as I begin a personal relationship with another, I commit myself to remind myself that 'my pace and speed and intensity' with which I do certain things on my own / living on my own, may not be the same as the pace, speed, and intensity with which the other does those same things and thus I commit myself to prevent conflict and imbalance by living the words Flexible, Adaptable, Learning, and Expansion in relation to my pace, speed, and intensity of doing things

When and as I begin a personal relationship with another, I commit myself to self honestly investigate myself to see where / if I am wanting the other to 'be equal to' a point of my own desire, expectation, or want, and to forgive any such point thoroughly, as I realize that equality in a relationship cannot exist if I am wanting to use the other to live out my own self interest



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 10 Jul 2017, 08:02

Day 354: Living Decisions Fully while Immersed in the Current Moment
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/07/da ... while.html

Something I've been enjoying recently in my day to day life is the application of really LIVING even small, ordinary decisions. A few days ago I was in my car, driving to the beach for a swim, and I became aware of how even as I was here in my car, driving, on the road, having made the decision to go for a swim - there was a quite subtle undercurrent of energy, of stress -- like an ever so slight feeling of 'unrest'. I noticed that this was connected to me actually holding onto this projection of wanting to figure out / know / experience that 'what I'm doing now' is the 'right choice' in the context of the principle of living my utmost potential in a day. So, like in a way looking at what I'm doing from 'outside of myself' - as if I'm standing 'above my day' looking down at all these choices I'm making, and attempting to 'fit them together' to see if they are all 'best' -- within this actually seeking / wanting some kind of 'experience' of confirmation that 'okay, I can relax because I am making all the right choices and decisions'.

So within becoming aware of this point within me, I immediately realized that it is completely unnecessary because I mean - I'm here, already physically living / acting out my decision to go to the beach. The problem is that I'm not as MYSELF, as WHO I AM - equally Living the physical reality of my decision, where - in my mind I'm busy living a different decision in an alternate reality where I'm projecting into 'the rest of my day' within wanting to already figure 'what's all the best decision'. So, the solution and point of change that opened up in the moment is to - simply give up that alternate reality -- to give up the belief that I need to 'know what all the right decisions are for the day' -- and to allow myself to fully live and embrace and accept the decision that I'm in fact already Physically living which is - driving to the beach to go for a swim. Where within this I am deciding that what is Relevant of my consideration, my attention, my awareness, my beingness --- is me here driving to the beach for a swim. And within this, I simply will Trust myself that - when this moment, this decision is Finished - meaning, when I am done swimming and have returned home -- I will simply carry on with continuing to move myself into the next decision - to live the next decision.

The way my experience changed with aligning myself to this new starting point, is that my experience of the physical moment became enhanced - the feeling of driving, what I'm seeing outside the windows, the temperature of the air, my body's anticipation of the pleasure and feel of the water I'm about to swim in. Basically - the slight undercurrent of stress went away because - I stopped creating / participating in the alternate reality within which that stress exists - through generating friction within myself toward the actual physical, here moment. So I'm in essence aligning my being, my awareness, my attention, my expression, my experience - to the Current Moment, rather than separating myself into an undercurrent as explained above.

This opens up way more opportunities for self enjoyment and the enjoyment of the experience of what's actually happening in the moment as I fully participate - without the subtle nagging experience created by THINKING about other moments and potential decisions that I might make in those future potential moments that - are not relevant, not HERE, and not REAL. I'll get to the next moment when I get there!

And at the end of the day, the most relevant decisions - the ones which I can evaluate as to their value, or benefit, or consequence, or priority - are the ones that I physically lived out in the physical, Current moments of my day - not all of the myriad of projected potential decisions in the mind's reality. I mean, I can't remember all the 'potential decisions' that may have popped into my mind throughout the day - but I can remember the ones that I physically lived / played out. So, if I'm going to make a decision about what I'm doing during the day - I'm going to embrace and live that decision fully, in the Current Moment of Reality so I can then FULLY see and evaluate if it was a valid decision, and be able to adjust, adapt, prioritize, and change myself according to my Self Honesty. And in this way I find I am more easily able to Stay Current with my Self Honesty. So, stop undermining yourself by accepting and allowing undercurrents of thinking and projecting!

I Breathe and immerse myself in the Current of the Moment, embracing every dimension of the Decisions I live throughout the day - because when I really GET IN to my decisions then I can really SEE myself more clearly and if I am CLEAR in my decision and I am HERE living my decision then I open up a more expansive Self Expression!



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 12 Jul 2017, 08:12

Day 355: My Body Type and the Movement of Energy Within Me - Eqafe Review
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/07/da ... nt-of.html

This blog is a review of the Eqafe series on the Consciousness of the Spider Monkey, which you can find here:

https://eqafe.com/p/consciousness-of-th ... key-part-1
https://eqafe.com/p/consciousness-of-th ... key-part-2

I'd like to share my experience in relation to a point discussed by the Spider Monkey regarding the way in which a person's physical body type and mass can, to an extent, determine how the energies of being, mind, and emotions move inside the body.

I could very much relate to the description of how beings in thinner body types with less physical mass tend to be somewhat naturally less physically grounded, and more likely to shift and adapt personalities very quickly. Essentially the point being that energies are typically moving and processing very quickly in such body types, whereas with a more solid, substantial body type and bone structure, energies tend to process more slowly and the being tends to naturally be more grounded and stable within their personalities.

So I can definitely relate to these descriptions.

Firstly, I personally have a very slender body type with a more light, delicate structure, and I very much throughout my life have experienced the energies of emotions and personalities moving very quickly, with my mind working very fast in terms of being able to adapt and change how I am around different people. Over the past few years I've worked quite extensively with the point of slowing down and developing my genuine, natural expression, and deconstructing and releasing myself from constructs of for instance, wanting to please people, wanting to be liked, wanting to fit in - where, my expression around people tended to be a little 'all over the place' and 'shifty' depending on who I was with.

And secondly, I can see where many times in my life I've known and interacted with people of a larger, more substantial physical structure who, upon reflecting on my experiences with them, had been more methodical, grounded, stable, quiet, slower paced - not shifting personalities but remaining more within one primary 'way' of speaking and acting and expressing themselves.

So hearing this interview really specified my understanding of my physical body in relation to my natural tendencies and predispositions that I've experienced throughout my life. And I find that I now have a greater appreciation and awareness of the context of different types of physical body shapes, and consideration of the different ways in which people in different bodies may experience, process, and approach things within themselves and within their world and relationships.

It's also quite cool because the points in this interview give greater context to some of the ways in which I've been changing, redefining, and developing myself recently. For instance there are many people in my world that I now see have a more substantial / larger physical structure, who have had certain qualities that I myself have struggled with. Such as: discipline, being methodical, slowing down, focusing on walking the physical step by step process of learning or developing something in reality.

Within the past couple of years I've been able to begin giving myself these qualities and abilities by really defining these words practically for myself, working on creating an effective structure through which to channel and direct myself into practical physical living change. And within this, assisting and supporting myself with breathing, self honesty, and self corrective application, to slow myself down - slow down the energies, and cultivate a deeper, more grounded, more stable, more balanced way of participating in my day to day world.

So if you find that you also have naturally tended to move very fast in the mind and with emotion, and with your personality being all over the place and not so grounded - I suggest listening to the above Eqafe interviews for context, and also walking the Desteni I Process online courses to support with developing the practical skills of self change, to start living your utmost potential.

Thanks for reading!


www.eqafe.com
www.desteniiprocess.com



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 24 Jul 2017, 04:24

Day 356: How I Find the Extra in the Ordinary
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/07/da ... inary.html

Sometimes I'll notice myself getting 'locked into' the desire to complete a certain task 'the way I want', believing that 'this is what I need to do, this is all that matters right now'. Then when the point doesn't go the way I want or believe it should, I get frustrated.

Here I share how in such moments sometimes the best solution is to drop the idea that 'this is so important', and embrace a completely different, 'ordinary' activity instead.

Read the full post linked above to see the video.



Matti Freeman
Posts: 1097
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Re: Matti's Blogs

Postby Matti Freeman » 17 Sep 2017, 11:07

Desteni Life Hack: Why do we react to problems?
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/09/de ... ct-to.html

Why do we as people tend to react to problems where 'standing up' for something gets turned into a conflict, fight, finger pointing, spitefulness, and even violence?

I've found that when I react to a problem it's because I don't yet fully see and understand the true nature of the problem or the solution - but I've latched onto what I believe the ONLY solution is to what I believe is the ONLY problem - and then when others don't comply with 'my solution' - I feel powerless because I'm unable to implement what I believe is the ONLY solution to the ONLY problem.

So what I find effective in relation to such situations where I recognize this kind of reaction is happening in me, is to remind myself - hey, there's simply more to this problem, and to the solution, than I believe or perceive there is. How can I assist and support myself to better understand more dimensions of this problem? How can I assist and support myself to become more Equal to the problem through understanding, so that I don't feel like I'm always disempowered and 'less than' the problem?

Because when I can stand Equal with the problem through understanding how it was created, then I can stop JUDGING the problem, and I can also then stop judging those who are directly participating in the problem - and more easily stand as ONE with them - as a fellow human, rather than wanting to attack and spite them. I can then more easily focus on investigating solutions by looking at the root problems.

So, in short, what I've found is that when I'm reacting to a problem - I have not yet stood Equal with the underlying root causes of the problem - and thus I'm not yet seeing how to actually give practical Direction to myself in relation to Solutions.

Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I'm reacting and becoming emotional or enraged or wanting to attack people because of a problem I see - that is showing me that I'm not yet seeing the real underlying cause of the problem or the real solution to the problem.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I understand how something works and I see the practical solution - then I don't react and become emotionally charged. Or if I do initially, I'm able to stabilize myself and then proceed to the solution. Like a mechanic who understands an engine - if the engine fails, then he can investigate and see WHY, and also see the solution - see how to give direction to himself. And in this he can also support others to learn how to give direction to the problem. It's the same with Humans and the mind and behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and fight conflict with more conflict, instead of seeing and realizing that within this I am participating in the exact same principle that I am fighting against - just with different words and a different form of righteousness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the experience of righteousness does not mean I am right - it means I have defined myself within only what I believe to be best -- but if I actually saw what was Best - then I would see what is best for ALL and I would not be reacting and wanting to attack and spite others.

I commit myself to remind myself that my reactions to problems are a gift that can support me to learn more about myself.

I commit myself to remind myself that when I understand something at a practical level, then I can be level headed and see solutions that I otherwise would not have seen because I was too busy being possessed by the storm of my emotions.

I commit myself to remind myself that yes, I do have time to assist and support myself to sit down and write about what I'm experiencing so I can make sense of what I'm reacting to and bring myself back to being solution oriented rather than fighting oriented.

I commit myself to Write about what I'm experiencing and push myself to be honest with myself about when I don't actually understand a problem or a solution - so I don't fall into the trap of righteousness.




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