Hilda's blog

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DesteniEarth
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Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 18:36

Re: Hilda's blog

Postby DesteniEarth » 11 Feb 2013, 15:23

Hilda,

An aspect to consider here is that self had given a great value to 'being able to walk around naked' in my own house / room. And this little thought has taken root within self as an excuse that is used as to why self is not 'comfortable' with the other people being around, when in fact 'the point about being naked' is just a distraction from the real aspect that self is not yet willing to face, which is that self is not comfortable with other people, which when inverted, self is not comfortable with self. I would suggest that this aspect be looked at and followed through to self corrective application.

Also the point of having to 'greet / smile' at your flatmates every time you pass them - This will be linked to the image that self had created as a persona when self is around these people. So here have a look at this persona and deprogram this persona with self forgiveness and self corrective application.



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 11 Feb 2013, 15:51

Thanks for the feedback, Esteni, it is of great assistance. I haven't considered not being comfortable with myself at all. I will get right on that.

Day 109: Wanting others to solve my problems

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward and not know what to do/reply, whenever someone is sharing their personal data with me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel obliged to help the person with advice, whenever they share their personal data with me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel obliged to reciprocate by sharing some personal data of my own in order to create equilibrium between us, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel inferior and less than, if I cannot think of a way to help the person, and I will feel superior and more than, if I perceive to be able to help the person with sharing advice or my own personal data with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to help someone that is sharing their personal problems with me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to reciprocate by sharing personal problems of my own, in order to create equilibrium between us and not make the person feel bad for sharing something within which I perceive that they feel inferior and less than and lost.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to share my personal problems with other people and within that hope that they can help, support and assist me, instead of realising and understanding that I am abdicating my own self-responsibility and transferring it onto others and the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share my personal problems with other people in order to get direction from them as to what I am supposed to do to solve my problem, instead of realising and understanding that I am abdicating my self-responsibility onto them by sharing my problems with them and resonantly looking for their advice and direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope/want/need/desire for other people to fix my problems, instead of realising and understanding that with this behaviour I have manifested the situation that I am in today, because there is no one else that is and can be responsible for my life decisions and choices but me.

When and as I see myself looking for solutions within other people by wanting to share my personal data/problems with them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within an automated mind polarity construct, within which I will abdicate my self-responsibility by wanting others to help me solve my problems/solve my problems, and will abdicate my self-direction and self-responsibility to HOPE that they will be able to do so, and will feel inferior to them and be thankful to them and feel indebted to them, and on the flip side I will feel superior and more than to people whom I perceive to have helped with their problems. Therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to share my personal data and problems with other people with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards solving my own problems within full awareness of my self-responsibility.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all points of desiring for other people to help me and solve my problems, and stop wanting to share my personal data/problems with them in hopes of them solving my problems, because I realise and understand that this sort of behaviour has manifested the global system of abdication of responsibility as it is today, hence the manifestation of politicians and authority that are 'called' to be the problems solvers for other people, instead of everyone directing themselves towards sorting out and solving their/our problems.

Day 110: Wanting to do more things at the same time

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel restless, impatient, unproductive and like I'm wasting time, when listening to interviews and not doing anything else. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I should be doing something simultaneously, because I'm not using my hands and am only using my ears when listening to interviews, instead of realising and understanding that listening to interviews and being focused on what is being said is a tremendous support to my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to easily become bored and look for energetic stuff to do, when I'm listening to interviews, instead of realising and understanding that with doing this I am compromising myself, because I'm missing out on parts of the interview by turning my focus elsewhere, and am not allowing myself to hear everything that is being said, not realising and understanding that every single word counts.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in my mind label/define/perceive listening to interviews as boring and not interesting, instead of realising that I am used to having energetic movement within myself about what I am doing/listening to, and am looking for that movement while listening to interviews, which doesn't happen often.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become easily distracted, when listening to interviews, instead of remaining here in breath and hearing every word and realising that every word counts.

When and as I see myself becoming distracted and looking for additional things to do when listening to interviews, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am looking for energetic movement, which is what mymind is used to doing, and without it, it becomes bored and restless and wants to entertain me with thoughts, which cause me to miss out on what is being said in the interview. Therefore I breathe and release the entertaining thoughts with self-forgiveness and direct myself towards effectively hearing what is being said in the interview.

I commit myself to become effective in listening to interviews and hearing all the words that are being said, because I realise and understand that the interviews hold tremendous support and information, with which I can assist and support myself in my process.

Day 111: The Privatization of Water

Today I learned that the government in my country has agreed to the privatization of water resources initiative in Europe. There was no public discussion about this, it happened behind closed doors and far away from the public eye.

It is interesting how dissociated from reality we are as participants in this world; we're not even remotely aware of how we're all allowing this to happen. We are so busy chasing our own "happiness" and "fulfillment" and "love" that we don't even notice, when invisible shackles are put on our wrists in the form of taxations, and for what? Certainly not for the infrastructure to run smoothly, because governments of the world have been cutting and saving money on the infrastructure since the beginning of this man-made financial crisis, and before it as well.

If we do not pull our heads out of our collective asses soon, we'll soon be paying for the air that we breathe, which nature provides for free, just like water and sunlight. We all need to realise that we, as part of the 99%, give permission to the elites, the 1%, to abuse us like this.

We need to realise that we are all part of this system, of the 100%, or else we're going to ruin ourselves with 100% certainty.

Wake up. Join the Desteni courses, and learn how to take responsibility for a better future, and investigate the Equal Money System, or the children of today will have no tomorrow.

desteniiprocess.com
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equalmoney.org
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DesteniEarth
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby DesteniEarth » 13 Feb 2013, 11:30

Cool Hilda - Here is some feedback on "Day 109: Wanting others to solve my problems"
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel awkward and not know what to do/reply, whenever someone is sharing their personal data with me,and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel obliged to help the person with advice, whenever they share their personal data with me. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel obliged to reciprocate by sharing some personal data of my own in order to create equilibrium between us, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel inferior and less than, if I cannot think of a way to help the person, and I will feel superior and more than, if I perceive to be able to help the person with sharing advice or my own personal data with them.
Not allowing self to be comfortable with another person sharing their experiences with you is showing to self that self is uncomfortable in intimate conversations as well as uncomfortable with the experiences that are being shared. This discomfort comes from how self has judged these experiences and has attempted to separate self from these experiences which then as a diversion tactic self uses ‘reciprocation’ as a means of ‘dealing’ with the discomfort of the situation. Here it is to realise that self had separated self from these experiences which one can only regain self responsibility through self forgiveness and self corrective application by allowing self to see oneself as experiencing these experiences and standing up from within oneself by seeing how one can effectively direct these experiences as oneself.
‘Creating an equilibrium between us’ is a belief that self had created which one now acts upon as an obligation to the other person. This belief should be let go of through self forgiveness and self corrective application.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear not being able to help someone that is sharing their personal problems with me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to reciprocate by sharing personal problems of my own, in order to create equilibrium between us and not make the person feel bad for sharing something within which I perceive that they feel inferior and less than and lost.
Here you are showing the design of one’s discomfort. It starts with a judgement of the person where self see’s the other person as ‘less than or lost’, which thereafter the belief of ‘creating an equilibrium between us’ kicks in whereby self then feel obliged to share of oneself with the other person. None of this is though self directive or standing up within oneself as one is moving from judgement to belief, ‘reacting’ to the situation in a pre-programmed manner. The key here thus is to stop the judgment within oneself and allow oneself to stand one and equal to the situation / experience that is being shared and see for and as oneself how self can take self responsibility for and as such an event happens with oneself. Within this one is standing one and equal to the experience / event being shared and self has taken self responsibility and directed the point as and of oneself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to share my personal problems with other people and within that hope that they can help, support and assist me, instead of realising and understanding that I am abdicating my own self-responsibility and transferring it onto others and the system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share my personal problems with other people in order to get direction from them as to what I am supposed to do to solve my problem, instead of realising and understanding that I am abdicating my self-responsibility onto them by sharing my problems with them and resonantly looking for their advice and direction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hope/want/need/desire for other people to fix my problems, instead of realising and understanding that with this behaviour I have manifested the situation that I am in today, because there is no one else that is and can be responsible for my life decisions and choices but me.
Turning the point back to self here is cool in that you are able to see that when another person is sharing their information with you they are actually desiring you to direct the point for them. You have also realised within this by turning the point back to self that no-one CAN direct a situation on your behalf, another person can only show you another way – but you have to still direct the point for and as yourself.

When and as I see myself looking for solutions within other people by wanting to share my personal data/problems with them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within an automated mind polarity construct, within which I will abdicate my self-responsibility by wanting others to help me solve my problems/solve my problems, and will abdicate my self-direction and self-responsibility to HOPE that they will be able to do so, and will feel inferior to them and be thankful to them and feel indebted to them, and on the flip side I will feel superior and more than to people whom I perceive to have helped with their problems. Therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to share my personal data and problems with other people with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath towards solving my own problems within full awareness of my self-responsibility.
Cool – Here you have seen that when someone else directs a point on your behalf you feel inferior to them, thus turning the tables – when you direct a point for another person you may feel superior for a moment – but the other person will feel inferior which will create a rift in your relationship to that person. So realise – When sharing information with another person, you are unconditionally sharing and seeing what feedback you receive, this feedback you are able to utilise and incorporate into allowing yourself to make a more informed decision within your world.
I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove any and all points of desiring for other people to help me and solve my problems, and stop wanting to share my personal data/problems with them in hopes of them solving my problems, because I realise and understand that this sort of behaviour has manifested the global system of abdication of responsibility as it is today, hence the manifestation of politicians and authority that are 'called' to be the problems solvers for other people, instead of everyone directing themselves towards sorting out and solving their/our problems.
Cool – You are looking at taking self responsibility here – Though you also have to understand that we as humans are interdependent – It is thus an act of personal self responsibility to cross reference information within one’s environment with others where one accepts support through communication with others. This is a process of developing one’s network of interrelatedness with others where one can check and cross reference one’s information with others, but within this still take in the position of absolute self responsibility to and towards oneself and others.


So - Consider these dimensions and work on clearing all the dimensions within yourself.



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 26 Dec 2013, 04:52

Day 179: "Sharing is polite"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with frustration, anger, annoyance, disbelief and sadness, whenever my partner/someone else doesn't offer me any of what they are having.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that whenever someone/my partner is having something that can be shared, they automatically have to offer me some.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that I must always offer other people whatever it is that I am having.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define offering people whatever I am having as polite.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a polite person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty whenever I do not offer someone whatever it is that I am having, when I want to have all of it for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience a sense of loss, whenever I am having something that I like, and I see/perceive that other people want some of it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel forced to offer other people something that I am having, and within this experience a sense of loss, whenever I want to have all of it to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive certain items in life as my favourites and want/need/desire to have all of them to myself.
When and as I see myself wanting to have something only to myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's construct about that thing, where I have defined it as something good, better, superior, and thus want to have it all to myself, therefore I investigate the trigger point and thought patter with writing, release it with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within the realisation that I do not deserve or need all of whatever it is that I was wanting only for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive people who do not offer others whatever it is that they are having as impolite and rude.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel guilty and embarrassed about not offering other people whatever it is that I am having.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive the act of sharing as a benevolent, polite and superior act, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a good person, whenever I am sharing something with other people, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct of perceptions that whomever shares is a good person, and whomever doesn't share is a bad person.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to share things with other people from the starting point of wanting to be perceived as a good/benevolent/nice/polite person, instead of sharing from the starting point of doing onto another what I want to be done onto myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for other people to perceive me as a good person because I share stuff with them, not realising and understanding that I am actually buying their affection.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to buy other people's affection by sharing things with them.
When and as I see myself wanting to share something with other people within the starting point of wanting to be perceived as a good person, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's energetic construct, where I define people who share as good and friendly, and therefore want to share to be perceived by others as good and friendly, so that I might enjoy the same reciprocity from them in the future, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath and do not allow myself to buy other people's affection and friendship with sharing things.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, whenever I am sharing something with others, expect the same from them in the future, and then be disappointed, angry, frustrated, resentful and sad, whenever my expectations are not fulfilled.
When and as I see myself expecting someone to share something with me because I have shared something with them in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within my mind's polarity construct of wanting to have a favour returned, which means that I did the sharing in the first place in order to have it returned, and not as an expression of equality, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and I direct myself in breath without expecting anyone to give me anything, because I realise and understand that I am responsible for providing for myself whatever I require.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define the act of sharing as a favour to whomever I am sharing with, not realising and understanding that I am doing so, because I have attached a value, monetary or other value, to whatever it is that I am sharing.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior when I am sharing because I perceive that I have put effort and work into acquiring whatever it is that I am sharing, and therefore should be respected and thanked for sharing, and that the people whom I am sharing with should share with me in the future. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when being thanked for sharing, feel awkward and wave the thanker away with "it's nothing", when I in fact do not feel that it is nothing, but expect the thanker to share something of theirs with me in the future.



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 27 Dec 2013, 17:14

Day 180: Holding a grudge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold a grudge towards my partner/parents/siblings/family/friends/other people, whenever I perceive that they have hurt me, instead of realising and understanding that I am participating within the victimisation construct of my mind and I am not taking absolute self-responsibility for how I experience myself in every moment. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to have revenge on the people whom I held a grudge against, instead of realising and understanding that by doing so, I am living in the past and giving in to my mind's energetic fluctuations, and am not stable here, directing myself in breath.

When and as I see myself holding a grudge against anyone and perceiving that they have hurt me or somehow wronged me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am in that moment abdicating my self-responsibility for how I experience myself through participation within a victimisation mind construct, therefore I release the trigger point and thought pattern with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath within the realisation that I solely am responsible for how I experience myself in every moment.


I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all my victimisation constructs and consequential grudges and quarrels, because I realise and understand that those are a consequence of me not taking absolute responsibility for how I experience myself in every moment, and I realise and understand that I am in fact absolutely responsible for the energetic reactions that I myself create within the bounds of my physical body.




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