Hilda's blog

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DesteniEarth
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby DesteniEarth » 05 Dec 2012, 08:53

Cool Hilda,

A couple of points to consider:
Within this blog "Day 64: "Do I bother you with my presence?":
Remember to bring the point back to yourself by looking at where self is using the same pattern that self is blaming another for / reacting to another person about.

Within this blog "Day 65: "I'm better than you and keep your hands off my partner"
You use the words "I release the point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath" a couple of times, which is a cool statement to use as an overall point, but when directing a specific aspect within the blog you want to write out specifically what 'directing myself in breath' means. Write out how you are directing yourself.

--
Esteni



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 07 Dec 2012, 21:15

Thanks, Esteni, will work on that.

Day 68: Paranoia

This is how I write myself out when I'm in the most terrible turmoil and cannot even think straight.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience violence within myself when and as I see/perceive that my partner doesn't want to live with me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rely on my partner that we will live together, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and scared and less than, when I see/perceive that he doesn't want to live with me, and feel superior, more than and like a winner, when I see/perceive that he does want to live with me.

When and as I see myself reacting to my partner not wanting to live with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I want to live with my partner so that I wouldn't have to be absolutely self-responsible, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all reactions to my partner not wanting to live with me, because I realise and understand that this is stemming from me not wanting to be alone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive/define my partner as a person that will never stand up within himself without my help whenever I see/perceive that he is dwindling from process, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am making myself feel superior and more than him in order to mask my being insulted, whenever I perceive that he doesn't want to stand up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire for my partner to do process in order for him to want to be with me, because he would see in common sense that it is the best option that he has, instead of realising and understanding that within this I am trying to force him to do process, which results in friction as separation and I am feeding my mind with energy.

When and as I see myself wanting my partner to do process, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is due to my fear that otherwise he will not want to live with me, and if that happens, I will feel defeated and less than and inferior, which I am trying to avoid by making him do process, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all desires to push my partner to do process, and I commit myself to embrace my partner, because I realise and understand that if I push him to do process, I will cause friction as separation between us and cause the opposite effect of the intended one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, frustration and resentment, whenever I see/perceive other girls/people trying to persuade my partner to not be with me and to not move in with me, instead of realising and understanding that I am exerting anger as superiority, because I feel inferior to them and am afraid that they might succeed.

When and as I see myself becoming angry at other people, when I perceive that they want to persuade my partner into not being with me, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is coming from a point, a polarity construct within my mind, within which I compete with those people, and want to win over them, and will feel superior and more than, if I see/perceive that my partner is listening to me, and will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that my partner is listening to them, thus I am feeding my mind energy through friction within myself, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing all reactions of anger and frustration towards people whom I perceive are trying to persuade my partner into not moving in with me, because I realise and understand that this frustration is coming from a point of competition, which I do not allow myself anymore.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of desiring validation within myself from other people, because I realise and understand that by validating myself through the eyes of others, I am powering my mind as ego through wanting to get positive affirmations from them, so I would feel superior, and will feel inferior if I don't get affirmations from them, or when I get feedback from them that I perceive as negative.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with anger, frustration, indignancy and resentment towards people, whom I perceive to be communicating to me with a superior tone and make fun of them in my head that they want validation for their superiority, instead of realising and understanding that I am reacting from a point within myself, where I try to make myself superior to others.

When and as I see myself reacting towards people whom I perceive to be superior to me, I stop and I breathe. I realise that I am reacting like this because I feel inferior to them somehow, therefore i release the point of inferiority with self-forgiveness and idrect myself in breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior to someone who I define/perceive to be the boss in an apartment, and therefore feel like I have to listen to them , give them respect and be quiet around them, instead of realising and understanding that I am compromising myself with this.

When and as I see myself feeling inferior to x/women, and compensating it with superior backchat within myself, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I make myself feel inferior to people who have money and perceived power, and will compensate with nasty backchat in the style of "you're so limited" within me, thus powering my mind as ego, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath.

I commit myself to stopping and removing any and all points of inferiority and superiority towards x/women, and communicate myself openly with her/them, because I realise and understand that otherwise I am creating friction within myself and between us and causing separation to feed my mind as ego.



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DesteniEarth
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby DesteniEarth » 08 Dec 2012, 13:51

Cool Hilda,

Though again in this blog you're using the statement "therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath" as a blanket statement as though this statement is holding the point of direction in a magical way. When walking process make sure that when writing a statement and you want to use the statement "therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath", rather identify what the specific 'direction' is that you will use within that moment and write what it is that you see would be effective direction - AS here, within using this blanket statement, you are postponing yourself to only 'find out' what the specific direction will be in the future - instead of directing the point as you are looking at it now within this moment.



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Anna
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby Anna » 08 Dec 2012, 18:53

rather identify what the specific 'direction' is that you will use within that moment and write what it is that you see would be effective direction - AS here, within using this blanket statement, you are postponing yourself to only 'find out' what the specific direction will be in the future - instead of directing the point as you are looking at it now within this moment.
Very cool point for all to consider Esteni - thanks.



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 08 Dec 2012, 19:03

Yes Esteni, yesterday I saw your post only after posting another blog, so now I've changed my application to not use the blanket statements.

Day 69: Wanting my partner's friends and family to like me

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for past indiscretions and violent behaviour towards my partner, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel inferior and less than and guilty for having been violent towards my partner in the past, instead of realising that with this I am participating within a timeline polarity construct, within which I will feel inferior and less than when I perceive that my partner is judging me and blaming me for my past acts of violence towards him, and I will feel neutral/positive when I perceive that my partner is not judging and blaming me for my past acts of violence towards him.

When and as I see myself judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner is not going to correct the past, because the past does not exist anymore - I can only direct myself towards what is best for both of us in this breath. Therefore I release the trigger point of judging and blaming myself for my past acts of violence towards my partner with self-forgiveness and do not allow myself to have any kind of violent reactions towards him within myself, because I realise and understand that with them I am making myself superior, more than and bossy, thus creating friction and separation within myself and between me and my partner and not allowing myself/us to openly communicate and cooperate, but am creating fear and distrust.

I commit myself to through writing and self-corrective application stop and remove all violent thoughts from within me, because I realise and understand that with allowing violent thoughts to exist within me, I create fear, resistance and separation, instead of equality, therefore when and as I see myself having violent thoughts and feeling the energies of violent thoughts in my chest and stomach area and my muscles tightening from them, I will immediately stop, breathe, investigate and remove the thoughts and patterns with which I have allowed myself to generate violent thoughts within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react with inferiority and feel guilty and ashamed in front of my partner's friends and family, when and as I see and perceive that they are holding on to memories of my past violent acts towards my partner and are judging/blaming me for it. I realise and understand that this is due to me judging myself and generating judgement and blame towards myself within myself, and has nothing to do with how other people perceive me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to prove myself as a 'changed person' to my partner's family and friends, instead of realising that within this I am wanting to validate myself through my perception of their opinion of me, thus I am participating within a polarity mind construct, where I will feel superior and more than and positive, when I perceive that my partner's family/friends are accepting me and are not judging me for my past acts of violence towards my partner, and I will feel inferior, less than and negative, when I perceive that my partner's friends/family are judging/blaming me for my past acts of violence towards my partner, thus I am creating separation within myself by wanting to be perceived by my partner's friends and family as 'good' and feeling 'bad', when I perceive that my partner's friends/family are perceiving me as 'bad', which I will want to compensate by projecting superiority with which I will want to achieve my partner's friends/family to perceive me as good enough for me to be with my partner.

When and as I see myself wanting/needing/desiring for my partner's friends and family to perceive me as 'good enough to be with him', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am wanting to validate myself through the eyes of my partner's friends and family, for which I will be ready to compromise my self-expression and adjust it to what I perceive my partner's friends and family would approve of and find ok, which will be a projection of superiority, false modesty, I will want to present myself as highly educated and intelligent and pretty, and I will stop myself from talking about things that I perceive they might perceive as 'negative' in order to not cause them to dislike me and not approve of me. Therefore I will immediately remove my desire/want/need to be preceived by my partner's family and friends and other people as 'good' with self-forgiveness and I will not allow myself to adjust my self-expression to what I perceive they would like to hear and see.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop adjusting my self-expression to what I perceive other people would like in me, because I realise and understand that by wanting other people to like me - I am compromising my self-expression and my standing for equality by not talking about 'problems', because I wouldn't want to make people feel bad by making them aware of the problems in the world in order for them to feel good in my company and like me and want to be my 'friends' and want to help me in the future in case I need their help. I realise and understand that by adjusting my self-expression to other people - I am abdicating my self-responsibility in this world and hoping that other people will be responsible for me if they like me, and I am compromising my standing for equality and diminishing my application and manifestation of equality.



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DesteniEarth
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby DesteniEarth » 09 Dec 2012, 13:35

Cool Hilda



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 10 Dec 2012, 04:29

Day 70: Supporting my partner

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry with my partner and become insulted, when and as I see and perceive that he is not willing to see the points that I am showing him and is resisting them, instead of realising and understanding that he is resisting them because I am angry thus superior and insulted thus inferior, which means that I am showing him points energetically from within my mind's polarity construct and not from within breath and equality.

When and as I see myself reacting energetically to my partner not seeing things the way I see them, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that the discrepancy in our perceptions and consequential conflict is a result of my skewed perception coming from a polarity construct of my mind, where I am not breathing and being here, but wanting to prove something and feel superior, and I will not achieve anything by trying to push my perception onto my partner, because I will only create separation as friction, therefore I firstly release my own energetic points about the subject with self-forgiveness and then explain to my partner how and what I have realised about the situation that he/we are in.

I commit myself to stop and remove all patterns of wanting to feel superior when I am supporting my partner, because I realise and understand that this is not support but a search for validation, which is coming from some feeling of inferiority, therefore I will investigate the polarity construct within myself before talking to my partner, and talk to him only after I have dealt with the energetic aspect of the subject within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to threaten my partner that I will leave if he doesn't agree with me, and blame him and judge him as one that is not willing to do process, whenever I perceive that he is resisting the points that I am showing him, instead of realising and understanding that I am acting energetically, and within doing so, I am only deepening the abyss between us and creating more fear within him through my superior stance and thus making communication between us virtually impossible.

When and as I see myself wanting to scare my partner into doing process by telling him that I will leave, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by scaring my partner I am only inhibiting him more from wanting to face himself, because I am activating survival and defence within him, thus manifesting the opposite of what I intended, therefore I release my own energetic point that triggered me into wanting to scare my partner, and afterwards make sure that I approach talking to him clearly and openly without energies in breath.

I commit myself to stop and remove any and all energetic desire to support my partner, because I realise and understand that any point of supporting my partner that comes from a desire/want/need for him to understand something will only create more separation and friction between us, because it is coming from my self-interest and the point is not being clearly communicated in equality.



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hilda rac
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Re: Hilda's blog

Postby hilda rac » 16 Dec 2012, 20:41

Day 71: "Beat the system"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be seen and perceived by other people as an effective law enforcer, not realising and understanding that I am participating within my mind't polarity construct, where I will feel more than, positive, superior and justified, when and as I perceive myself as one that has 'done the right thing' in terms of abiding the law and/or stopping some perceived 'crime' or 'injustice' from happening, and on the flip side I will feel less than, inferior and like a criminal, when and as I perceive that I have done something that is defined/perceived in this world as 'crime' or 'injustice', where I will all over my body feel the energies of adrenaline rushes, feelings of shame, hope that I will not get caught and ultimately, if I succeed in not being uncovered as a criminal, I will feel victorious in my secret mind as one that has 'beat the system'

When and as I see myself wanting to 'beat the system', I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that by wanting to 'beat the system', I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will want to fight the system, because I perceive/define it as unfair and unjust and like I have a right to want to beat it, and I will feel energetically empowered and justified within myself, and on the flip side when I perceive that I will give into the system, I will feel like the system has beaten me, and I will feel inferior to the system and powerless against it, therefore I release the trigger point with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath, because I realise and understand that by wanting to beat the system, I am only empowering the system from within myself, therefore I simply stop fighting the system and embrace it so that I can release and resolve it.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of energetic friction towards the system, because I realise and understand that by creating friction towards the system, I am separating myself from the system and all that is here, and with this I am disabling myself from being able to embrace, amalgamate with and change the system, but am only powering the system, which gives the opposite result of the intended one.

Day 72: Communication with friends

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within communication with my friends want/need/desire to make myself feel positive, more than and superior, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare and compete with my friends and want/need/desire to win in every conversation that I have with them, therefore always take an opposing stance to what they are saying, not realising and understanding that within this I am creating friction between us as separation, making us unable to effectively communicate and agree on a subject, I am stifling our cooperation and despite my best intentions to make my friends realise what I have realised, I am failing miserably by making them feel inferior with my pursuit of superiority, for which they then have to compensate with their own superiority, and so we are caught in an endless cycle of trying to prove each other to each other and bouncing together and off of each other within our little ego bubbles, and not really hearing what the other person is saying, because I am only looking for key words to which I will reply with 'my own' view and perspective of things, which is not really my own, but learned from another.

When and as I see myself desiring, wanting and needing to 'prove my point' to another, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this want is coming from my standard search for superiority that I have allowed within myself to compensate for the constant feeling of inferiority that I have also allowed to exist within me, not realising and understanding that I am constantly and continuously participating within this polarity construct in order to generate and create energy for my mind to exist as ego of inferiority and superiority. Therefore when communicating with my friends or any other people, I keep myself in check and not allow myself to want/need/desire to prove anything to anyone, but simply allow myself to express myself in the moment and not compromise my self-expression within my search for superiority.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove my constant search for feelings of superiority, moreness than and positivity, which are stemming from trying to compensate for my constant feelings of inferiority, lessness than and negativity, which I generate by separating myself from myself within self-judgement. I realise and understand that this is the all-encompassing mind polarity construct, within which I have caught myself in an eternal cycle of creating energy for my mind to survive as ego, for which it feeds off of my physical body and transforming my eternal physical substance of the earth into passing, short-lasting bursts of energy, constantly needing more and more energy in order to survive - until I die.

Day 73: "I'm an upstanding citizen"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish want need desire to be a policeman, a detective and other kinds of law enforcing worker, because I have in my mind defined and perceived such people to be just, good and correct. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want/need/desire to be perceived by other people as a just, good and correct person who enforces the law, not realising and understanding that the law is set up in a way that abuses life and that I am being the abuser within my mind by wanting to be perceived as this side of the polarity mind construct, because I want to feel superior and more than other people within being defined as just, good and correct.

When and as I see myself wanting to be perceived by other people as just, correct and good at enforcing the law and rules of society, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I will feel superior and validated, when I perceive that other people are perceiving me as just, correct and good at enforcing and obeying the law and the rules of society, and on the flip side I will feel negative, less than, inferior and not accepted, when and as I perceive that other people are perceiving me as unjust, incorrect and not good at enforcing and obeying the law and the rules of society, therefore I release the trigger point of wanting to be perceived as more than others in terms of enforcing and obeying the law with self-forgiveness and I direct myself within the principles of what is best for All Life.

I commit myself to stop wanting/needing/desiring to be perceived by others as one that is just, good, correct and more than others in terms of enforcing and obeying the law, because I realise and understand that the law is set up in such a way to protect the system and not Life. Therefore I will release all upcoming thoughts regarding myself in relation to the law with self-forgiveness and direct myself towards and within the principles of what is best for All Life.

Day 74: The age difference between partners

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to every time I look in the mirror see/perceive the circles under my eyes as ugly and terrible, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a feeling of inferiority and being less than, because I have defined and perceived circles under the eyes to be ugly, unseemly, I have defined them as something that only old women have, therefore I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that other people will define/perceive me as 'old' and not good enough to be with my partner whom I perceive to be considerably younger than me, not realising and understanding that with all these perceptions and definitions - I am only powering my mind as ego through a polarity construct, where I will feel bad, less than and inferior to women whom I perceive to be younger and/or do not have such circles under their eyes, and will feel afraid that my partner does not like me because of the circles under my eyes, and on the flip side I will feel superior and more than women whom I perceive to be older than me and/or have bigger circles under their eyes, and I will feel better about myself in the company of such women, and even start feeling sorry for those women.

When and as I see myself worrying and thinking about the circles under my eyes, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is a mind polarity construct of comparison, where I will go into inferiority whenever I look at myself in the mirror and think about my partner, and I will feel bad about myself and afraid that my partner will want to leave me for a younger woman, because I think/believe/perceive that my partner considers me too old to be with him. I realise and understand that it is only me and myself that is generating those thoughts within myself and compromising myself with them, while reality might be entirely different, therefore I release the point that triggered my thoughts about the circles under my eyes, and direct myself in common sense without worrying about the way I look, because I realise and understand that worrying about the way that I look is only my mind wanting to compare and compete with other people, which I do not allow within myself anymore.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of comparison and competition with other people in terms of looks, because I realise and understand that by participating within comparison and competition, I am participating within a mind polarity thought construct, where I will be looking to in my mind win and feel superior to other people in terms of looks, and will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that I cannot win/am loosing the beauty pageant that I am generating for myself in my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think/believe/perceive that my partner and other people are judging us and perceiving us as incompatible due to our age difference, instead of realising and understanding that it is only me and myself who is judging us and perceiving us as incompatible due to our age difference, because I myself have defined and perceived people in relationships to have to have a minimal age difference between them, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a polarity construct, where I am judging and perceiving couples with small age differences between participants as appropriate, and couples with big age differences between participants as inappropriate, therefore I have defined/perceived myself to be in an inappropriate relationship due to the age difference between me and my partner.

When and as I see myself thinking and worrying about my partner or other people perceiving me and my partner to have a too big age difference between us, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I have created these perceptions and judgements within myself for myself, where I have felt superior to couples which I perceived to have a too big age difference between the participants and judged them as inappropriate, and I have felt inferior to couples which I have perceived to have a smaller age difference than the couple that I am in, therefore I release the thoughts about age differences with self-forgiveness and direct myself in common sense and I do not allow myself to participate in thoughts about the age difference between my partner and myself or how he or other people perceive it.

I commit myself to through self-forgiveness and self-corrective application stop and remove all thoughts and perceptions about relationships between people based on their age, because I realise and understand that by having those thoughts, I am only participating within my mind's mechanism for the creation of energy for my mind to sustain itself, and with this I am abusing my body and allowing my body's substance to be transformed into energy for my mind.

Day 75: "I care and worry about you"


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project "care" and "worry" for other people, instead of realising and understanding that I am projecting care and worry towards other people in order for them to perceive me as a caring and worrying person, so that they would want to care and worry for me in the future, not realising and understanding that I am doing this within a mind safety/survival polarity construct, where I will want to ensure the help, care and worry of those people in the future, in case I find myself in trouble, instead of realising and understanding that this action of showing "care" and "worry" to others is actually an abdication of my self-responsibility towards a relationship that I am building up for myself through projecting "care" and "worry" towards others and thus ensuring myself their reciprocity in the future.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within projecting "care" and "worry" toward other people make myself in my mind appear to myself as superior, more than, positive and as a good person for "caring" and "worrying" about them, instead of realising that I am doing this, because I am wanting to deceive myself and hide my true starting point for projecting "care" and "worry" towards them, which is self-interest and NOT benevolence.

When and as I see myself projecting "care" and "worry" towards others, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that I am participating within a mind construct, within which I will want to abdicate my absolute self-responsibility onto a relationship with that person/those people by projecting "care" and "worry" in order to get care and worry from them back in the future, which is a mind timeline construct, and I will even want to hide it from myself and others by lying to myself with feeling benevolent/superior/caring within it. Therefore I will release the point of "care" and "worry" with self-forgiveness and direct myself towards what is best for all participants in the given moment.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and release all fake projections of caring and worrying about others, because I have realised and understood that those projections are a result of me wanting to feel safe and secure in the future and are part of the survival construct of my mind, where I will nurture and build up relationships that I find to be beneficial to my self-interest and my mind's survival as ego, which I will want to hide behind benevolence and good-heartedness in order for me to not have to look at the ugly reality of me acting in pure self-interest.

Day 76: Judging and blaming myself for alcohol and drug abuse

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame myself for having escaped my responsibilities by running into drug abuse, and feel inferior and less than and negative about it, which I would then compensate for with taking pride in my knowledge about drugs and drug users, and feel superior and more than and positive, not realising and understanding that I am participating within a mind polarity construct, where I am separating myself from myself through self-judgement and blame and feeling inferior, thus I am generating friction within myself for the creation of energy for my mind to exist as ego, and I am disabling myself from effectively standing up for myself within the system and stabilising myself in it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and feel bad about myself for having drunk alcohol in the past and perpetuating the sins of those that have gone before me, and feel negative, less than and inferior about myself for having drunk alcohol, instead of realising and understanding that this is because I want to feel superior and more than and positive within being able to say that I have never drunk alcohol because I wanted to feel superior to my parents who drank alcohol, in order to compensate for the general feeling of inferiority that I had towards them all my life because they were bigger and stronger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel more than and superior to people whom I see drinking alcohol, just because I am not in that moment drinking alcohol, and within this judge other people for drinking alcohol, and blame them for the downfall of our society, not realising and understanding that I am in fact judging myself, because I have drunk alcohol in the past and are feeling guilty and fallen for it, instead of realising and understanding that I am compensating with judging other people and feeling superior to them for my own past abuse of alcohol and the feeling of inferiority that I get when I remember that.

When and as I see myself wanting to blame other people for drinking alcohol, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that this is superiority, with which I am trying to make myself better than and more than and superior in my mind to other people, because I have seemingly stopped drinking alcohol, which I have actually stopped within the starting point of wanting to feel superior to other people, therefore I release the point of wanting to blame others for drinking alcohol and clear my starting point, and direct myself in breath within common sense towards what is best for all.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all points of blame towards other people, because I realise and understand that I am in fact only judging and blaming myself for my past experiences, actions and deeds, for which I feel inferior and less than, and am now trying to compensate for with making myself superior and more than within projecting the judgement and blame onto other people to balance it out for something that I have been doing in the past myself, which is what parents also do to children, when they are trying to prevent them from "repeating their mistakes" and take a superior stance towards drinking alcohol and taking drugs, which they used to do themselves.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be angry at myself and disappointed with myself and want to give up on myself because I was a potsmoker for so long, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define/perceive myself as a long-term potsmoker, instead of realising and understanding that within this self-judgement I am disabling myself from effectively standing up for myself in equality.

When and as I see myself blaming myself and judging myself and feeling inferior because I was a potsmoker, I stop and I breathe. I realise and understand that feeling inferior about my past will only cause me to want to compensate with a feeling of superiority, which I will exercise in the form of knowledge and information towards others in order to hide the fact that I am ashamed of myself for having smoked pot and inhibiting myself from standing up within myself, therefore I will release the point of judgement and blame towards myself with self-forgiveness and direct myself in breath in accordance to what is best for all in the given moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience regret and feel sorry for all the time that I had lost with smoking pot and inhibiting myself with it, instead of realising and understanding that feeling sorry for my past choices, actions and words is not going to change the past and is not going to change the outflow and consequences of my past choices, but will only further inhibit me from standing up within myself and will cause me to timeloop and miss more breaths.

When and as I see myself regretting the time that I have lost in the past with smoking pot and regretting any other choice and action that I made in the past, I stop and I breathe. I realise that regret is part of a polarity timeline construct of the mind, where I will feel inferior and less than, when I perceive that I have been making the "wrong" decisions in my past - which I will regret, and will feel superior and more than, when I perceive that I have been making the "right" decisions in my past - which I will be proud of, and by participating within this construct I am separating myself from myself within self-judgement, thus generating friction to create energy to feed my mind and I will timeloop and loose more breaths by participating within the construct, therefore I will release the point of self-judgement about having lost time with smoking pot with self-forgiveness and direct myself to the task at hand without self-judgement.

I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness stop and remove all mind timeline past-future constructs from within me, because I realise and understand that by participating within such constructs, I am only inhibiting myself from effectively directing myself here and am feeding my mind as ego of memories, within which I will experience inferiority and superiority, when I replay them in my head.



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DesteniEarth
Posts: 41
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 18:36

Re: Hilda's blog

Postby DesteniEarth » 17 Dec 2012, 10:45

Cool Hilda



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KellyPosey
Posts: 663
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 06:46

Re: Hilda's blog

Postby KellyPosey » 08 Jan 2013, 02:54

Cool Hilda. I've had that same points in relation to smoking/drug use. I have noticed it as a pattern where I live it in/toward other aspects of my life as well, where I use things from the past as yet another excuse to separate me from myself here by existing within regret, due to living according to expectations that are separate from myself, where if i meet that expectation then I feel positive/superior and if I failed that expectation I feel negative/regret/inferior, and then my whole past becomes an equation where you add up the positives/successes and the negative/failures, and inevitably, it always ended up with more negative than positive, because I didn't realize the point of checking to see if my expectations were not practical or realistic, so I was always 'letting myself down'. Lol, quite a way to torture ourselves and mainly to keep ourselves preoccupied from ever really living in practicality.

Cool to see these points walked out in writing. Thanks for sharing.




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