Day 434: A Lesson in Balance --> http://journey-of-lindsay.blogspot.com/ ... lance.html
I am currently house-sitting for a friend. When I first started, a week ago now, I was taking care of her house chores such as feeding the chickens, gathering their eggs, watering the garden and fruit trees, bringing in the mail, and taking care of her 14 year old dog: Lily.
From the day I arrived here I noticed that Lily was acting a bit strange, in that when she was walking around, she moved herself as if she was a bit drunk. Her entire body would sway from side to side and her legs would slip and slide around on the floor. I have hung out with her before and seen some similar movements, so initially it didn’t seem totally peculiar especially considering her age.
However, as the days went by, her movements became progressively worse to where I had to assist her in moving herself around. I called my friend to inquire about her behavior. She let me know that Lily had a disease called geriatric vestibular syndrome that would ‘come and go’ and that she was most likely just going through another ‘phase’ and that this was thus nothing to be worried or alarmed about.
I had learned about the vestibular system in human beings in previous courses that I’ve taken with regards to neurobiology and neuroanatomy, so I was familiar with the how the vestibular system functions. It's quite fascinating. When I was first exposed to it I was amazed to learn how these little structures, specifically these fluid filled semicircular canals in our inner ear that connect to our brain, are so crucial for balance and space orientation. As I learned more about it, I began to realize more about just how much we take our physical body for granted. Observing Lily really brought this point through quite starkly.
Two days ago I left for work and a few hours later I received a call from my friend that, when a friend of hers stopped by the house to let Lily out to go to the bathroom, she found her dead.
Recently facing the death of Bernard really assisted me in this moment as I was stable within myself as my friend relayed this information and I was immediately able to bring it to a point of understanding that, while Lily’s physical body is no more, as the form and structure that she embodied, she is still here. She is still here in that everything is here, as it has always been, just as I expressed in my post regarding Bernard’s death: Bernard Poolman is just a Character.
Embracing this perspective allowed me to be stable and calm for my friend as she worked through the point in our conversation. I simply allowed myself to breath and ground myself as a pillar, just as I have seen Bernard do so many times before. Everything is here and I am this everything that is here, so I am able to move myself to be whatever is necessary in each moment to ensure I am always placing myself in a position that is best for all, as this is best for me. Common sense.
Yesterday, as I was sipping my morning coffee, I was considering and investigating the point of Lily’s death and what it represented…because, you know, everything is specific.
What I realized in terms of what Lily was showing me was the necessity for balance…equilibrium – how easily we take this simple point for granted; how easily we allow ourselves to go into the drunken dizziness of our mind which so readily tips us off-kilter as we lose our footing in reality. Lily showed me through her expression the confusion, disarray, unsteadiness…moreover, the inequality that manifests when we allow the disproportionality of imbalance. This can be imbalance of body, imbalance of mind, imbalance of this world system, imbalance of this existence as a whole…it is all relevant, especially when considering the responsibility we have to investigate all things; to investigate all things and to bring all things to a point of equality…balance.
Thus, I made a self-commitment in that moment to fully assist myself with this point of balance, this point of equilibrium, and to really stand this point in full self-dedication, in full self-stability. To not allow Lily’s support to be squandered in vain, to be taken for granted, as I now see with a greater clarity the physical consequences of such an allowance.
Everything is showing us only one thing: ourselves.
Thank you Lily, for being a mirror during the time we shared together.
I commit myself to make it count.