Hi Lana.I am looking at my starting point and I can see that I am often anoyed by his behaviour. I also developed the belief that nothing is easy with him, that he will find a way to make it difficult for me, like he would do that on purpose. and this happens often, I have a picture in my head how it should be or how I would like it to be and in the end it's difficult, cause something upset him and he escalates and screams etc. A better way would be to accept something might upset him and prepare myself and everything to make the situation easier for both of us. f.e. we started to train him being without a buggy when he was 1,5 years old. since he was 2 we didn't need the buggy anymore, he got used to walk eerywhere with us and if he was tired we would carry him for a few minutes and he would walk again afterwards. now that I am pregnant and not able to carry him I started to take the buggy again and he seems to be happy about it. so, we had to give up our picture of an independent, walking child. maybe we have to high expectations, that is also possible, but he is out first child and we are learning by trying and doing.
I am not applying strict parenting rules, and I think that was not good for noa. maybe he does need more strict rules, cause I was rather flexible till now and I would give in if I had the feeling he wanted something badly. I also did that from the starting point 'I want him to be happy and stop whining'. This might sound like he got everything he wanted, but that is not the case, there are some rules he has to follow here, and others that are flexible.
The language thing differes from child to child. First Noa was raised trilingual, then Paris gave up the greek and we stayed with two languages. I think even if we would have spoken only one language he would have been a late talker. he got his first tooth when he was 13 months old and he couldn't chew well untill then. he is eating a whole apple since he is 2,5 years old, means very late. the other boys at day care (same age) are also not talkative, but since he is having other childrens company his language skills are much better, he is now learning every day new vocabulary and actually starting to comunicate with us in whole sentences, mostly in german. he is obsessed with colors, numbers and shapes a.t.m. he is also able to read some numbers. he also likes nameing animals.
In 5 or 6 weeks I will be for sure at the hospital for 5 days to give birth, that will be the first time we will be separated and we will see how he'll cope. sure, he will come to visit us, but I want be home and it will be a completely new expereience for him.
Very cool self-insights here.
I definitely suggest walking a self-forgiveness process of releasing all the reactions/beliefs/expectations/ideas that you're mentioning here in relation to your son as the very first step in terms of changing the situation, also especially within context to there now coming a new child into the picture which will obviously bring more dimensions to the situation that you will be required to direct. So it is a cool opportunity now that you're pregnant again and these points has opened up through this post to walk through this point so that you can stabilize yourself in your relationship to your son and the baby that is on the way - so that you will effectively be able to direct the point of now having two children. This will also be of immense support for others who are facing the same/similar situations.