Reacting to Parrots making Loud Noises

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Leila
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Location: South Africa
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Reacting to Parrots making Loud Noises

Postby Leila » 02 Sep 2014, 22:48

Day 51: Shocking Sounds
http://ylaww.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-5 ... ounds.html

From time to time the Parrots in our room like to play quite ‘rough’ with their toys, where they go and charge them full-on and within that make lots of screaming and screeching noises.

Their cages are about two meters away from my desk where I do most of my computer related tasks. I noticed that I would start working on my computer being quite relaxed, and that as the Parrots would start playing and screaming my body would tense up and after a while I would actually find myself being stressed out, and every little sound or thing that doesn’t go ‘smoothly’ creates like these bursts of irritation/annoyance – and at the same time I’d experience an anxiety build-up inside myself. I’d then either start getting angry at the computer / parrots for being loud/not cooperating – but this would only further establish my distress.

So basically what would happen is that I’d be busy working on my PC – the Parrots would start screaming – I’d react and do nothing about it while being ‘immersed’ with whatever it is I am doing / trying to ignore them – and with each consecutive scream, my body literally gets like a ‘buzz’ where I go BZZZT! And then another layer of reaction is added as anxiety/stress – and so it goes on / accumulates until my entire body is buzzing and I feel completely distressed/edgy/anxious and burst out. Obviously when I shout at the parrots to stop screaming – they just stop for a moment, look at me with these eyes saying ‘… and your point is…?’ – and then get right back to playing/screaming lol.Which is really great because they're just showing how ridiculous my behaviour is and don't see any reason to support my tantrum.

I’ve been practicing not getting all reactive when the parrots start shouting because really – they’re not doing anything wrong, they’re parrots, they like to play with sounds – screaming being one of them – can’t blame a parrot for being a parrot. But it’s not yet completely effective – meaning I know what’s happening but within that my experience isn’t changing (but at least I am not acting upon the experience within getting angry/shouting because there’s really no point to it). It’s quite interesting because I have seen this point for a while now but dismissed it as ‘not that big of a deal’ and ‘not important’. But today when they were having another one of their play-rounds, the experience welled up again and this time I went: Fuck it, I have to look at this no matter how “small” or seemingly “unimportant” I find this point to be – the fact that something happens in my environment and me reacting to it is really all the reason I need to investigate the nature of this event and address it – it’s got to go and that's what I'm gonna do with Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application.

With the blogs to follow I am going to untangle what exactly the sounds of the Parrots are triggering and assist/support myself to disconnect these connections so that I can be here and simply work and enjoy the presence of the Parrots in all their grandeur – and within that I am grateful to the parrots pushing my buttons within such a simple point, which once again emphasizes the extent that we’ve fucked ourselves over, where we can’t even just be here without creating /interpreting what goes on in our world and how far we’ve accepted and allowed ourselves to become removed from reality.



User avatar
Leila
Posts: 2046
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 21:45
Location: South Africa
Contact:

Re: Reacting to Parrots making Loud Noises

Postby Leila » 02 Sep 2014, 22:49

Day 53: I Am Robot
http://ylaww.blogspot.com/2012/09/day-5 ... robot.html

This blog is a continuation to:
Day 51: Shocking Sounds
Day 52: Prelude – Don’t take anything for Granted

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the parrot screams within a negative energy charge

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have attached a negative energy charge signature to the sound/hearing of parrot screams

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged parrot scream as ‘bad’ and categorised it within myself as a ‘dislike’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to the sound of parrots screaming and within that I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore my reaction and hope that it will just go away by itself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to unconditionally investigate the nature of my reactions

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have judged myself as ‘weak’ for reacting to the sounds of screaming parrots

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have created a connection/relationship between ‘the sound of screaming parrots’ and ‘fear of conflict’

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to investigate the nature of my reaction towards the parrots screaming – where my reaction had nothing to do with ‘Parrots Screaming’ per se – but with the connections I had created within myself as associations to past memories where similar sounds were present and as such stored within and as me – where within the moment of hearing the parrots screaming/screeching, I as my mind scanned through my life history as all the stored memories I as a personality exist as – and identified memories with similar features – in this case ‘screams’ – where I as my mind connected the screaming/screeching sounds of Parrots to that of my parents screaming – and within that split of a second of hearing the parrots scream: upload the experience inside myself which I used to have when I would hear screaming inside the house and send it all throughout my body, wherein I accepted and allowed myself to believe that this was a ‘new’ experience and an experience purely related to ‘parrots screaming’ – without seeing and realising that there is no such thing as ‘new experiences’ but the recycling of the past

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate the sound of screams within fear of conflict where I accepted and allowed myself to have defined ‘screams’ as a ‘bad omen’

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined ‘screams’ and the experience of hearing screams as being a ‘bad omen’ – where the moment I make the connection between ‘screams’ and ‘bad omen’ go into anxiety and become edgy because I am expecting something ‘bad’ to happen at any given moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have blamed the parrots within believe that they were the cause / source / origin of my experience of edginess/anxiety – without seeing and realising that I am the cause / source / point of origin within recycling past memories within me and uploading their energetic experiences and pasting these on the current moment

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within hearing parrots screaming go into anxiety / edginess where I expect ‘bad things’ to happen as ‘fear of conflict’ – where I expect someone lashing out on me at any moment


When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am accessing a pre-programmed response pattern based on memory where in the past I made a connection between ‘screams’ and experiencing a ‘bad vibe’.
Within that I commit myself to breathe, be here as my human physical body, ground myself and let go of the experience

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within judgment – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am not in fact judging the parrots screaming at present – but acting within and as memory where I had bad experiences with screams in the past and created a judgment about screams and where I even judge the parrots and their screams for ‘making me feel bad’ within screaming.
Within that I commit myself to breathe, be here and stop my energetic participation

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming and wanting to ignore/dismiss it – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am deliberately covering up parts of myself that I do not want to change and so I commit myself to look at my reaction and investigate its nature and walk it to its end within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application

When and as I see myself judging myself as ‘weak’ for reacting to the sound of parrots screaming – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is nothing to judge about – all that this point is revealing to me is the mathematical, mechanical precision of the mind within creating connections and associations to the past as memories and pulling these memories up when identifying similarities – and thus there is nothing to judge about in terms of taking my reaction ‘personal’ – since my reaction is simply the outflow of the design of the mind

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of screaming parrots within accessing ‘fear of conflict’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that my past as memories are not applicable to the present and that what I am experiencing is merely the mind doing its job in following associations and pulling up memory experiences – and so I commit myself to breathe, be here – let go of the memory and be present as the moment so that I may experience what is here and not an interpretation of what is here through the filters of memory

I commit myself to show that any point/reaction one face is nothing more than the mathematical/mechanical outflow of the workings/design of the mind – and thus it is imperative to educate self on the workings of the mind so one can work through points specifically and effectively – and that there is no point creating opinions/ideas about points since your mind is a mere mechanical/mathematical programmed entity which does what it is programmed to do and within that no experience/point is “special” or “dull” but just the outflow/consequence of how the mind works

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within accessing the fear of ‘conflict’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am merely accessing past memories and their energetic signatures and imposing them on the present – and so I commit myself to breathe, be here – ground myself and let the fear flow out of my body

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within accessing the belief that it is a ‘bad omen’ – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am accessing associations based on past memories and so I commit myself to stop participating within this belief and ground myself here as my Human physical body within breath

When and as I see myself reacting to the parrots screaming within blame – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am the source / origin / cause of my experience and that there is no point in pointing fingers --- within that I commit myself to take self-responsibility for reaction within stopping my participation within and work through the point within Self Forgiveness and Self Corrective Statements/Application

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrot screams within anxiety/edginess – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that there is no point in generating and participating within these emotions and I commit myself to Stop, Breathe, Be Here within and as the stability of my human physical body

When and as I see myself reacting to the sound of parrots screaming within believing it being a ‘bad omen’ where it will lead to conflict/someone lashing out on me – where this experience comes forth in a subtle form of paranoia – I stop and I breathe – I see and realise that I am NOT here since I am accepting and allowed myself to be moved by triggers where I go into energetic experiences – and so I commit myself to Breathe, be here and move my awareness from my mind to my human physical body and investigate the trigger/pattern revealed to me
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