Sunette Spies: "Thus, your head-movement / “relaxation” is a point that is directed by the mind and not yourself, because with walking process, you’ll always be here with the mind, body and environment in direct participation; there will be no ‘automated’ relaxation modes, because you are in fact here with all that surrounds you. If you separate yourself from any part – things ‘happen TO you’ and you’re not in directive principle."
Yes, Ella, the way that you describe your experience and the fact that you don't really know what is happening to you and are looking for answers, implies that you are not aware of yourself as the body.
Being aware of yourself as the physical reality here, is not something special, 'wow' or any kind of 'event' that 'happens', it is actually the opposite - being here as the physical is absolute stability as who you are, no inner movements, nothing, just you here as the simplicity of yourself as life. Like the simplicity and stability of a plant just being itself as a plant as the living statement of who/what it is as 'a plant'. This is who we really are, this simplicity and stability of life that 'just is' as who we 'simply are', and everything that makes you experience 'something more' inside of yourself, is of the mind as the desire for there to be more than what is simply here.