Hi Terren, welcome to the forum.
I agree with what Anna has shared here, it's certainly no different to any other form of brainwashing/self-programming that we create when we connect certain thoughts, ideas, beliefs, images with Experiences - like emotions or feelings - that we create about such thoughts, ideas, images, pictures, play-outs/fantasies, etc.
So, I also suggest walking the DIP Lite course
as there you'll learn step by step how to work with 'deprogramming' yourself by the power of your own words which means nothing else but getting to know how you created this situation for you and how to practically stop it by designing corrections that will support you in stopping the pattern and also assist you in standing once again as the one that decides what you participate or not in your mind and reality.
You're at the right place to begin with writing more about your experience here, which is definitely no different to any other addictions or obsessions we create toward virtually anything, so when you get to understand how you operate as your mind, it becomes easy to see the solutions as well.