Dealing with an addicted sister, putting her life in danger

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Nicklk1795
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Joined: 19 Mar 2013, 00:06

Dealing with an addicted sister, putting her life in danger

Postby Nicklk1795 » 22 Jun 2014, 11:15

So, in the past few months, my sister has been gradually doing more and more heroin and meth. She is in a very dangerous situation, because she will do what ever extreme to stay out with a bunch of people doing the same thing, and has over dosed 5 times. Well, I've sat down with her, to suggest what she could do to help herself, and have offered her to hang out with me to get away from the scene and to also EAT because she's anorexic, and have been honest and straight forward with her about what she's leading herself torwards.

Tonight my sister died, and was barely brought back to life in the hospital. She woke up, and was immediatly stubborn to listen to me or my mother, and just wanted to leave the hospital (where she would just end up doing drugs again).

I've talked to my sister time and time again, but have also just let her make the choice, because i don't want to interfere any further when I'm having to take self responsibility for my own life, or investigate the point of what I should do before acting towards helping my sister, and also because she just won't listen and never does want to listen. Immediatly when I bring it up, she just says "I don't feel like talking because I'm tired" "I'm not even going out tonight so there's no reason to be concerned"

Well after tonight, I talked with my mom, and got the content that I could call the police if I see anyone coming to pick my sister up. However, she's still in the hospital, and I don't know if they are going to send her somewhere. She declined to go to rehab, but she also is a year and a half over due from probation and has a warrant out for her, so I don't know if they will send her to court from the hospital.

Just wondering whether I should just let her go, let the situation go, or what would be best to do if she comes back to the house. I told her that she's just as vulnerable to her best friend that died recently, and told her to be careful, and then now this happens, and she still doesn't understand the severity of where she's placing herself.



Marlen
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Re: Dealing with an addicted sister, putting her life in dan

Postby Marlen » 23 Jun 2014, 00:46

Hi Nick
Just wondering whether I should just let her go, let the situation go, or what would be best to do if she comes back to the house. I told her that she's just as vulnerable to her best friend that died recently, and told her to be careful, and then now this happens, and she still doesn't understand the severity of where she's placing herself.
I can understand the need you feel when it comes to wanting to help her, however as you can already see and have shared here it is pointless to try and save someone that is not aiming at saving/supporting themselves. So, what I suggest doing is then not to try and make her change her mind, but simply let her know you are here as a point of support if and when she's ready to support herself. If the point escalates it will only be a point for her to take responsibility for. This is also not something that 'just happened' but everything that gets to such consequential outflows has a long history and several steps behind it to take it to this point. Therefore, we cannot just try and save another from their own self-created consequences. You can also see this for yourself that no matter how many times you've heard or read from others how to support yourself and how difficult it was to get the points - same with your sister or even more difficult since there's no immediate intention of her to support herself.

Therefore, I suggest to let the point go which means: not trying to save her, but instead be a point of support when and as she's ready or willing to assist herself and she clearly states that she wants to support herself. Any further consequences will still be part of the manifested consequences she's created for herself, so, we can't do much on that regard other than sharing with her how to walk through it in self-support, when she is willing to do so for herself.

Best thing to do is to be an example yourself of how to walk this process as a recovery phase and self-responsibility for your life, being that proof that one is able to step out of the problem through having the decision to take responsibility for it. So self honesty is about self: you taking care of yourself/what you do and say to her as support, not as an attempt to change her/save her from her, and instead see how it's only her that has to make the decision to support herself.

I would also suggest investigating whether you have any reactions toward her current experience/life, as that's also then another layer for you to walk through as your own process and self-responsibility so that you are clear from emotion when talking to her as well.

Let us know if there's something you'd like us to expand upon and if this is clear for you.



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Nicklk1795
Posts: 252
Joined: 19 Mar 2013, 00:06

Re: Dealing with an addicted sister, putting her life in dan

Postby Nicklk1795 » 23 Jun 2014, 01:11

Thanks for the support marlen.




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