Fear towards porn&Reconsider porn

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ZachWang
Posts: 207
Joined: 20 May 2014, 08:50
Location: Beijing

Fear towards porn&Reconsider porn

Post by ZachWang »

I masturbated 3 times within 16 days, in a 5-day basis, without porn or fantasy, also without extensive emotions or feelings. Quite stable in a way through practising breathing. Today, when it came to money lack, worry, anxiety and fear came up within the mind overwhelmingly. As I wrote it out more and more, those emotions became even strenthened and much more stronger. I fell asleep while writing. After waking up, the mind became stronger. And there were sexual fantasies and pictures within the mind. As it accumulated and strengthened in a way, I lost touch with myself completely. After I saw a person on the street who wore sexy clothes with naked legs, I became very aroused. I then watched porn and masturbated very quickly.

In thinking of the consequences of watching porn, I started to fear of porn.



But, also, when there are no emotions or feelings or fantasies, I see that porn is nothing but the commercialization and marketization of sex and masturbation for the purpose of money. Because there are physical bodies within both ordinary sex and porn but the difference is that like movies and televisions, porn also transforms the physical reality into picture reality in an attractive and arousal way. Yet, sex and masturbation play a significent role in most human beings' life. Lets say, these two words and love are the most abused words in this world.
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Kristina
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Re: Fear towards porn&Reconsider porn

Post by Kristina »

zachwang wrote:But, also, when there are no emotions or feelings or fantasies, I see that porn is nothing but the commercialization and marketization of sex and masturbation for the purpose of money. Because there are physical bodies within both ordinary sex and porn but the difference is that like movies and televisions, porn also transforms the physical reality into picture reality in an attractive and arousal way. Yet, sex and masturbation play a significent role in most human beings' life. Lets say, these two words and love are the most abused words in this world.
Absolutely right,

And in terms of your reaction to the woman on the street, and going into porn and masturbation - you are seeing the triggers and the energy build up so from that perspective, it's cool, because you are understanding the process more and what it will take to change it.

If you are concerned about your habit, or would like more support on such a point, there is a facebook group we've created for those addicted to porn and masturbation, so check it out here.

Also cool you are seeing the difference between masturbation with pictures/images/energy, and without it - and how without it there is that more stability and being grounded that comes through. That is really the point - to get to know yourself/be with yourself physically, intimately in such moments, without the mind as images, pictures, projections, or energy - just you with/as yourself.

In terms of the writing and feeling as though the energy/experience is becoming more/stronger, here you can check to see if you are writing from a point of energy. It's been suggested to first breathe, and ground yourself a bit more before writing in an energy experience, because that can lead to compounding the experience. Rather you want to ensure you are 'clear' when writing, clear from the perspective that you are sitting down to write to take responsibility for the point, you are willing to be self-honest, and not just write to fuel the experience, or your position more. So can practice breathing and stabilizing in your physical body a bit before writing when an energy experience come up. So something you can practice and apply - see if it supports in that regard.
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