Yogan's history with Porn

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YoganBarrientos
Posts: 247
Joined: 03 Sep 2011, 23:19
Location: Miami, Florida

Re: Yogan's history with Porn

Postby YoganBarrientos » 21 Oct 2014, 03:14

Yeah I agree Anna, there is a technicality within those words. Who we are is not yet physical, so because we are not physical yet, we are virtual. So we have existed our whole lives as images. This explains an almost natural attraction to images, and so an addictions, because what is pornography revealing, but that we have only been an image, virtual, not actually in reality, which is physical. So the belief is so strong that we are an image, this manifests into us having a soul, or being what we perceive with our eyes. If everyone was born blind, our image would be meaningless. However, we would still create an image, though the medium would be sound and thoughts. So the light that our eyes absorb, is just how it is manifested, a representation or metaphor, as well as physical, to show us the extent of our separation. If you were to describe the physical mechanisms behind a person watching porn. It is indistinguishable to watching any other pattern of light. There is a difference, and that difference can be found in us, how we respond/react, which is fairly unconscious. When I would watch porn, I was half-aware, I would say, that something strange or weird is occurring. Why the hell on earth do I want to see a naked woman? I didn't before. There was a time I didn't care. Then there was a time I was afraid to, because people reacted in fear to being seen naked, and in school they started to tell us how wrong/bad it was to see someone naked, and they started talking about child abuse. Primarily as a child, what stood out most was the energy/feelings/emotions. I was aware I was just seeing an image, albeit, a very specific form of an image, so it didn't make sense at all! I mean its obviously preprogrammed into me as a male. If I was born a woman, would I be feeling the same as I did when I saw a picture of a naked woman? Obviously not. So something was going on, either my parents and adults were programming me/our generation to perceive woman/man's nakedness this way, or it was genetic, or present already since birth and simply required to be activated. I would say the primary reason I continued sought our looking for naked women pictures was because of the energy experience. I had reasons and words that I used to explain it, though they weren't the source. Those words were like, because its hidden, or because they don't want me to see, or because women don't like showing their nakedness, so its like a battle with them. I remember certain moments with my parents and other adults where they would hide my face, and to not see and look at a scene in a movie where a woman was naked. They would scream, NOOOO, DONT LOOK. ANd in a way I had a fear reaction because of their screaming and their sound of voice, as if something scary or bad is happening. So I would say that that act was stored as a memory when I see a naked woman's picture, and so possibly feeding, enhancing or enabling a porn addiction, through that memory of energy. I notice that events that involve screaming, are activating an unconscious part of my mind that responds instantly, as if there is a danger present.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear looking at a picture of a naked woman, and to at the same time, wish to see it because I remember being told not to look at the picture of a naked woman that came on screen in a movie, and thus feeling bad/guilty whenever I would see such a picture, because my mom/dad/adults told me not to see or look at those photos, so I was disobeying their wishes and doing something that they made the statement that I shouldn't do/see, and that is wrong/bad to see/do.

So I notice two parts, one part is the fear/guilt, and the other part is the preprogrammed enjoyment/excitement, within disobeying. I remember how initially there was pure fear within looking at naked women, and how that later became an embrace of that fear experience. So I would say enjoyment/excitement in looking at porn is an embrace of the energy of fear/guilt of see naked women.

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to embrace my unconscious fear that generates energy, and so embrace energy.

When and as I see myself embracing energy generated by the unconscious fear of disobeying what adults told me to, which was to not look at naked women, - I stop and I breathe- I realize that there is an imbalnace and a misalignment with my unconscious fear that had been created, which I have been using to access a reserve of energy, that would be used for fearful situations, however the fear was created to look at a naked woman, thus allowing me to access that fear- I realize that by not being aware of myself and what I am creating, I am creating my future and destiny. If I had been aware of what fears I was creating, then I could have prevented a porn addiction.

I commit myself to release and prevent fears, which are not necessary and not a part of living a full self-directed life.



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YoganBarrientos
Posts: 247
Joined: 03 Sep 2011, 23:19
Location: Miami, Florida

Re: Yogan's history with Porn

Postby YoganBarrientos » 28 Nov 2014, 05:24

Hi, so Im checking in again, and this time I will explore a different dimension. This actually relates to what I have been looking at in general, in relation to the men/women inequality, and how women is portrayed in media, movies, tv, music etc... So porn, is a media right? I mean, porn is a video, so its like a movie, right? So I recall sharing in another post my experience of seeing the nude scene in the movie Titanic. Those kinds of experiences, are all the same, whether it is in a movie or in porn. This experience is energetic. The specific dimension I want to bring attention to is my attraction experience to the specific image of women created in the media.

So personally, there are specific images, and kinds of images that I have reacted to, specifically. What I notice about this is that there is a place inside of me, like a memory or preference, perhaps a preprogram, to respond to these specific images in this specific way. Its like a key finding the right lock, they need to fit perfectly. So there is, to my observation, something preexistent before having the reaction. To me, it appears almost like an idea and like an image. There is an idea/imagination and an image of some particular women stored within me. This I see is what I access when I generate energy when watching a "new" but similar image of women on screen in either a movie or a porn, but also in real life. This might be one of the driving forces for our individual sex systems, and perhaps our particular male/female attractions. The main thing that characterizes is how heavily dependent it is on the memory of certain images, that triggers an energetic or emotional response. This is different than connecting to someone on a being level, because of who they are, not how they look or other superficial aspects. Though it may be hard to even recognize this, if one is so entrapped within the energy that follows an image/memory based attraction/reaction.

So what are the broader implications of this? So it seems that the movie and porn industry are aware of this to a degree. They are aware enough that they pick and choose certain actresses, and dress them up in certain ways to access/trigger us specifically. All of us are unique, yet we share many points in common. One example is men respond to blond women and big breasts. So you can see that are some ideas that are repeated, and used, mainly because they get your attention. And if these industry get your attention, they get your money, just like the mind. If your mind gets your attention, it gets your re-source.

So for everyone I suggest becoming aware of this point of how we have these ideas/images we are accessing of people, that goes hand in hand with the images we see in movies or in real life. What I have been doing thus far is forgiving/removing the images/memories or releasing the energies and thus the desire behind the images/memories, so that I can see people, such as blond women with big breasts, without reacting/accessing those images and thus energy.

And how this relates to porn specifically is that I would like for specific porn situations because of what images/ideas/imaginations and thus energy I had within me. So I looked for what I was already accessing in within me. The key is the energy/memory. So this kind of shows, everyone is a porn addict, as long as they are looking for certain images based on the images within them, which can be of any content, not just sexual, but otherwise as well. Can you think of any examples?



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Alex27
Posts: 29
Joined: 29 Jan 2015, 07:28

Re: Yogan's history with Porn

Postby Alex27 » 29 Jan 2015, 09:05

One thing that has helped me in porn stopping, is seeing myself as that women/person. Seeing yourself as that person, sort of dissolves that point of sexiness as you are just you. That is your skin. That is your knees, arms, legs. That is you. And you may begin to see more than what you belived was possible. So have fun!!!
That's great.




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