Binding Myself With Sex: DAY 26
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... ex-day-26/
Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.
Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place my attention primarily on sex, where I think about sex every 7 seconds, allowing sex to occupy the majority of my existence here on this planet, and allowing myself to be enslaved to sex
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about sex at work to pass the time while I am at work because I do not want to be at work and sex is an `easy` escape from myself at work.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about fantasies throughout the day regarding sex allowing myself to be unaware that I am here as life breathing
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to possess myself with the idea of sex because it seems so great within the idea that I have accepted in the mind, and that this idea is so enticing that I must think about it every 7 seconds in order to get an energy fix
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about sex so much that I forget that I am here in this world, that I am here where billions are on the bread line, that I forgot that I am breathing here and that I forget that there are `bigger` things to life than just sex
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think about sex every 7 seconds allowing myself to preoccupy myself with the thoughts and wants/desires of sex wherein I then allow sex to be an easy control of myself, but in this missing that I am controlling myself through holding sex up on a pedestal, making it more than who I am here as life, not being honest that I am the one who creates sex with myself, that sex is not something outside of me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to occupy my time with a mass of thoughts regarding sex, sexual fantasies, sexual stories, memories wherein all I then start to think about and become possessed by is sex, wherein I end up blinding myself to what is actually going on in this world because of the amount of thoughts I have accepted and allowed regarding sex
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place sex on a pedestal as more than me, wherein I then allow myself to think about it as a point of desire, as a point of getting, not realizing that all that is needed for/as sex is me here in breath, and that me here in breath is equal to sex, wherein the only thing that I am in fact desiring within sex is the energy rush that is created through the act of sex, in realizing all of the built up energy within the body through/as the act of sex.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire sex so much that I allow myself to think about it every 7 seconds which is a clear indication of possession, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be self-honest with myself in regards as to why I want sex, how I accepted the want in the first place and why is the want so heavy, in this investigating as to why, it is said that men think about sex every 7 seconds, and why I have blindly accepted sex to be the object of my life throughout adulthood and why as men we think about sex every seven seconds and not remain here in breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child become influenced by the media in regards to sex wherein I started to wonder what sex was like because all throughout the media there was such a large consideration placed on getting/having sex, and that all the main characters of movies would have a girlfriend/boyfriend in that imply that they are having sex, or that the goal of the main character is to get a relationship, in this throughout the years notice that this is the pattern and then start to value sex or having a relationship in the same manner wherein I then started to allow myself to become sexually curious by the age of 10, curious about what sex is, what sex was like, and started to place sex on a pedestal
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed a system that influences the people on this Earth to have sex, and to have sex as the main object/goal in life in order to keep humans occupied with desire wherein they then do not question what is going on in this world, nor question why people starve, why people live in poverty, why wars are abundant in human nature, why there is separation between religions etc.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to as a child realize that this world is quite fucked up but in this allow myself to, as I grow older, and have more experiences with relationships, to engulf my life within self-interest wherein I start to search for sex more and more, search for that first experience of sex, search for a girlfriend, in this allowing myself to blind myself from the fuckupedness of this world, and to even purposely ignore this fucked up world, in order to get that fix within sex for the addiction I have created to energy.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become an addict to sex because of the energy that is created within/as sex and the experience that I create within/as sex in relation to all the past memories and built up anticipation within the act of sex, wherein I then allow myself to ignore this reality when/as I have a desire come up for sex and allow myself to only then think about sex when/as this desire comes up allowing it to fester within me until I become possessed with sex
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid taking responsibility for myself within the desire for sex through placing myself within separation of the desire, as something that randomly pops up within the mind and which I am ultimately subject to, instead of bringing the point back to myself here and take responsibility for creating the desire through investigating what in fact triggered the thoughts and wants of sex in the first place in this realizing myself within sex, realizing how I in fact created myself this way in relation to sex
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place sex within the ultimate desire, wherein I then allow myself to search for this ultimate desire because I have accepted and allowed a definition of ultimate desire to exist within me, in this guiding my life within/as finding the ultimate desire, in this disregarding myself here as life in that which supports me to exist here in this life through taking this life and making it into desire, instead of giving back to life in which was given to me in equality and oneness, meaning instead of taking this life and making it desire, give my life back to life and back to myself wherein I give up the self-interest to make life the best life possible on this planet.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sexualize everything in my life, clothes, hair, money, way of walking, way of communication, facial expressions, lips, eyes, words, etc, etc allowing myself to throughout walking this life be continually stimulated within sex, because I have accepted and allowed myself to place sex as the relation point within myself within this world, not allowing myself to see life in all ways always, but to only see sex in all ways, always, allowing myself to limit myself as life to the single manifestation of/as sex, not allowing myself to be who I am in fact as life, as sex is not life entirely it is only a single manifestation of/as life
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to before I go out, make sure I look sexually appealing to the opposite sex, so that I can create that desire within myself, instead of making sure that I am stable within breath before I go `out` and make sure that I am the directive principle as my movements and actions as I walk this Earth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed energy to be the direction of myself while walking this earth, looking for the next energy fix within/as sex or money or happiness, or positivity allowing myself to be possessed by energy within/as the addiction to the feeling of/as energy wherein I then do not see life here because I as life have abdicated my responsibility to/as life in order to get energy, in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not, as life, be the directive principle of myself as I walk this Earth, making sure that I as life do all that I can in order to make this world and life livable in a dignified existence for all life on this planet, in all ways, always, wherein I commit myself to making sure that there is absolutely no point in this entire universe where someone has less suitable living conditions than another, and make sure that all life here is supported equally as myself as life, committing myself to life for life as life as that is what I am in fact, in this realizing that I am not desire, that I have placed desire in separation of myself, and that the object of desire as sex is in fact irrelevant because me here as life breathing is in fact equal to sex within the physical.
I commit myself to stopping the desire for sex through thoroughly investigating myself in relation to sex, I who I am in relation to sex, using the tools of self-forgiveness, self-corrective application and self-honesty in order to get to the root cause of my relationship to sex and re-create my relationship to sex as equality and oneness as myself here in every breath as life.
I commit myself to letting go of the self-interest direction of myself in/as life and commit myself to making sure that all life everywhere on this planet and in existence is worth living through, in this life, dedicating myself to implementing the equal money system wherein all life here is supported as life.
I commit myself to show how we as humanity have disregarded life, as clearly shown through the current state that the world exists in, in order to fulfill our desires, again as clearly shown through the current state that the world is in, and that what we have done is in fact a crime against life that we will never be forgiven for, and that we must forgive ourselves for creating
I commit myself to placing sex within the physical within/as breath, using the tool of/as masturbation to support myself in investigating myself within/as sex within using breath and sticking to the physical and stopping the desire placed within the mind, manifested through/as the creation of porn and the usage of porn.