Porn Addicts Journey to Life

User avatar
paolo
Posts: 22
Joined: 25 Aug 2013, 04:40

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby paolo » 01 Sep 2013, 23:51

I want to respond, to comment, but am so overwhelmed with conflicting considerations about porn, masturbation, sex, marriage, relationships... how all this is interrelated, how is problematic to self or society in general. The one thing i know for sure is that porn variety, volume, and free and easy availability through the internet... this is definitely detrimental to humanity and cultural, social stability, this i know just from gut feeling... but i have most interest about how i can be part of solution, first for myself, then for others? How and when did i fall into this trap? I have chosen this path? I choose to generate thoughts and urges about sex, masturbation, and to view or interact with porn? Then i choose not to, or is it that i resist, which does not help to resist, because the urge remains, and seems not to violate myself or anyone else, but then again, i contribute to whatever harm is caused by seemingly harmless alone interaction with porn, or with my own mental images, memories, or constructs? I am quite sure that this stuff is a significant reason for my unwillingness, or inability to maintain a relationship... i see myself as quite functional, able, and sane in other areas of life... Skills, communication, friendships, family, daily functioning, and have no thoughts of hatred or violence towards women, men, plants, animals, or anything in the world. I have read and considered the numerous experiences, observations and viewpoints shared by Anna and others on this site. It is all so overwhelming, yet still somehow helpful. What exactly is right/wrong, good/bad,agree/disagree, etc/etc, i am done trying to figure out. Just need to remind myself, get through, get over, this habit of porn and masturbation... this i have recognized over and over again as a substitute for sex and relationship, which have ended in upset and failure for me so many times. I begin again to generate thoughts, and intentions, of healthy and joyful intimacy with a compatible partner in life.



User avatar
Kristina
Posts: 1534
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:18
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Kristina » 02 Sep 2013, 05:47

Hey Paolo

Firstly - breathe. Don't allow yourself to become overwhelmed in relation to 'all these points' one starts to see when slowing down and asking questions and investigating ourselves as the mind, as our relationships, as our behavior - who we are as thoughts, words and deeds.

A suggestion would be, to find out for yourself, why there is a 'problem' - investigate your own relationship toward porn, masturbation, and relationships. What are the thoughts and emotions or feeling you have towards these particular points. You can write about memories or experiences you have had throughout your life, how they played out, if/how consequences were created from it. You can open your own thread here, Writing Yourself to Freedom, where you can begin the writing process and reflecting on things going on within your mind. From there you can open a thread in the Sharing Self Forgiveness section of the forum and address the disharmony you see within yourself in relation to relationships, sex, porn and masturbation.

I mean this is the process we walk - through self investigative writing, find out why we are the way we are, why we see things the way we do, why we feel the way we do, why we interact with others the way we do - man know thyself, and not just within ourselves as the mind but within our world as well. Why does rape and war and murder and starvation and inequality exist? This is the responsibility we have to understand 'what is here' as our world, within and without and the process starts with self. See who self is in our daily lives to come to understand why this world exists the way it does - what is actually going on and how does the acceptance of ourselves as 'human nature' create a world that reflects what is clearly not best for all. So suggest to keep investigating and reading others process, what is being shared, perspectives of things we perhaps have not considered before and walk your process of self responsibility in getting to know yourself and our world.

Enjoy



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 02 Sep 2013, 08:47

Cool support here Kristina.



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 02 Sep 2013, 22:13

The Solutions and Rewards to Stopping Porn Addiction: DAY 12
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... on-day-12/

Although I have not used much visual or written pornography throughout my life, I have used images in my mind as pornography. I understand that everything is connected on this physical planet and, as one part of the whole, I am responsible to stop this behavior as what is best for all.

I have had success transcending much of this already, through my DIP (Desteni I Process Pro) course and Desteni participation: chats, blogging, eqafe interviews and then applying what I have learned in my daily life, but not completely. Therefore, I will write it out until it is clear, no longer existent within and as me -so I do not require to use-or accept and allow myself to use- mental images (pornography in my mind) when having sex at all.

I found it much easier/quicker to stop using my mind when having sex with my partner than during masturbation. That is the point I still need to transcend. I will explore my relationship to mind porn within sex with another/my partner first.

So, how did I go from needing to use mental pictures in my mind-of other people- when having sex with my partner (and past partners) to using no imaginings and enjoying sex much more?

I had been participating within Desteni already for about a year and a half so had been applying the tool of breath, to remain out of my mind of thoughts/feelings/emotions, quite extensively although far from completely. We were discussing the sex point, within online group chats, and several Eqafe interviews had been made so I listened to those as well. I educated myself more on the point of how porn (whether it is physical or mental) influences and changes ones relationship to ones self and others, especially ones intimate relationship with a life/sexual partner.

This had been somewhat of an issue for me throughout my life, as I did enjoy sex but -unless I used my mind of imaginings- it was not fulfilling. I wondered what was wrong with me and felt insecure about myself sexually. This led to insecurities/suspicion/jealousy/competitiveness toward other women, whatever partner I was with. As well, if one person is not ‘into it’ that much, the other person can ‘tell/feel’ this and it is not as enjoyable for either. We feed off of each other within the sexual energy as it is created, back and forth, and it builds, as it should.

So, even if I would try to not think about someone else, at various points during sex, I would inevitably cave/give in thinking this would make the experience/encounter better for me and my partner. However, thinking about other people when you are with someone is hardly going to build intimacy! Let ‘s face it , it is like faking it or almost like being alone with yourself. It is isolating. Interestingly, I went out with a man who enjoyed talking about his fantasies during sex and I ended up feeling like, ‘well doesn’t he want to just be with me/how come he can’t just be with me and look at me/look me in the eye?’. But I was doing the same thing–just not outloud!

For me, the addiction to mental porn was learned over time and I programmed it into and as me. Thus, it became a habit/normal to me. So, I reasoned, it can be un-learned!

I knew this to be true because of other addictions I had overcome, mainly my addiction to alcohol. I have written several blogs, please investigate the timeline of this website, in which I have explored and applied self-forgiveness and a self-corrective application to various aspects of my alcoholism.

PRACTICAL STEPS: Of course, all I describe here is a process and I am still very much in this process so not to suggest I do this perfectly.

*When I met my partner about 8 years ago, I admitted to myself my past sexual relationships were not that fulfilling and I now wanted to be ‘present/here’ with a sexual partner and not lost in my mind, thinking about sex with someone else lol.

*First: I made a clear decision not to participate within emotions of guilt and self-blame, punishing myself over and over again, for the past, as it is over and I cannot go back. But I can change myself here, as I had proven to myself with giving up the use of alcohol.

*I applied self-forgiveness outloud whenever a memory would arise of how I used my imagination/fantasies in the past. NOTE: It is suggested/highly recommended to firstly write out self-forgiveness so you can ‘see yourself on paper’. That is what this blog series is for, I will be writing out all my self-forgiveness (not in detail, in a general way). So I stopped in the moment participating in thought-mind patterns about mind porn.

*Made a clear decision (each time I do this) just before having sex to use breath awareness-stay present/ here- with breath focusing on the physical and my partner while having sex. If I see my mind moving, I immediately bring myself back to the physical. My partner even says he notices me breathing /using breath, ‘really deep breathing’ as he puts it.

*It did not take long–and became very easy quickly–as I noticed almost immediately how much better sex was/much more responsive my body was!

*If I am not physically responsive (now and then this occurs ie. once every 2-3 month) I remind myself to not ‘beat myself up’/criticize myself about it. I do sometimes look at ‘why’ or discuss it with my partner. Sometimes it has been hormone related, other times a family concern-mental reason. Then I am sure to let it go, if I cannot let it go, I would write it out.

To continue...

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.

Investigate:

Desteni Forum for support:

http://forum.desteni.org./

Free interviews:

What is Sex:

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-overview

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-introduction

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-seven

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-eight

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-9

Shocking Secrets of Masturbation:

https://eqafe.com/series/7-shocking-sec ... sturbation

The Metaphysical Sectrets of Imagination:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... troduction

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... ion-part-1

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... ort-part-2

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... ion-part-3

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... ort-part-4

The Soul of Money:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-infinity-secret ... d-the-dark

https://eqafe.com/p/the-heart-of-love

https://eqafe.com/p/the-inequality-of-r ... -existence

https://eqafe.com/p/divide-and-conquer- ... e-minority

https://eqafe.com/p/the-interconnection ... -and-light

Parenting: Perfecting the Human Race:

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfectin ... ace-part-1

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfectin ... ace-part-2

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfectin ... ace-part-3

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfectin ... ace-part-4

https://eqafe.com/p/parenting-perfectin ... ace-part-5
Related articles

Porn - Why do we allow it to exist? DAY 11 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Porn and Sex - Why do we allow the degradation of Man? DAY 3 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
My experience with Porn and Prostitution: DAY 4 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Addicted to the Image of the Female Body: DAY 9 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Online Porn and its Consequences: DAY 10 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Letting Go of Sexual Images in the Mind: DAY 8 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Porn Addicts Journey to Life: DAY 1 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
My experience on Porn and Prostitution Pt. 2 - (Self Forgiveness applied) - DAY 7 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Releasing the Shame of My Porn Addiction: DAY 6 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 05 Sep 2013, 22:39

My Experience With Porn and Prostitution (Pt.3) Forgiving Myself: DAY 13
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... lf-day-13/

This is continuation to the following posts:

My experience on Porn and Prostitution Pt. 2 - (Self Forgiveness applied) - DAY 7

My experience with Porn and Prostitution: DAY 4

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to believe that its justifiable that the prostitution exist, by thinking that I am paying to that person a “proportional amount to the service that they are giving” without considering that “such services” have more consequences for this people and also for me than that which I am paying on money, because it’s not something that only affects to the people participating on it, but it also affects to the entire society, by creating the acceptance of using and exploiting someone on prostituting themselves to get money, which also creates more points of abuse such as child molestation, rape, slavery, poverty, and so on, which I then justified in my own mind through this “feeling good experience”, so that I were able to go and have my experience for myself in which I apparently don´t have to consider another because from the reasoning of my own mind, it is acceptable to use the people that are within such conditions as long as I see it from the money perspective in which I am giving them this “payment for their services”, and within this

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed myself to participate on pornography within the thought that “I am paying to this people to use their images and bodies to create an experience for myself” in which I don´t consider the testimonies of all the people that has been raped and that has died on such movies for abusing the body to such an extent that it collapsed, and in which I don´t take into consideration what were the conditions and the lives of those people that it got to such an extent in which someone accepts such abuse to be done to the body for the mere purpose and reason of surviving which “should be by definition a Human Right”

I forgive myself that I accepted and allowed to myself to give permission to slavery through the idea that “I am able to buy someone through giving them an amount of money, which would be the cost of literally using their bodies for my personal purposes of getting or searching an experience for myself to feel good” which actually reflects the nature in itself of capitalism, in which one hears the people saying that “this is how it is, this how the word functions or that this is human nature” which is only a justification and an excuse to literally do nothing about it, not to mention that is a deliberate action of denying and avoiding reality for one to remain in the deliberate participation and use of such points of abuse like prostitution, in this way

I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to believe that I am only able to have sex through participating on prostitution instead of seeing and considering ways in which I am able to support myself to develop myself as an effective and supportive human that will be able to go into a relationship in which I will not accept or allow any abuse to take place within me or within my partner, making in this way an effective and functional relationship of support and care.

I commit myself to demonstrate how the pornography is one of the main reasons that drives people into raping and abusing other human beings, going to the extent of participating on child molestation and slavery

I commit myself to demonstrate that the prostitution is the side effect and direct consequence of the use of pornography that in this way creates poverty, slavery and harm to the rest of humanity in which we accept the manifestation of wars through which we take the resources from others so that we can remain living in the conditions that we live and exist

I commit myself to work on myself through applying self-forgiveness and self-corrective application to develop myself as an effective human being that will be able to stand in a relationship of care and support in which we can work together to assist and support ourselves to work for a world that is best for all.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.

For more information about how you can utilize the tool of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, join, DIP Lite – the FREE online course. For more support on Porn Addiction, visit the Desteni Forum.
Related articles

My experience on Porn and Prostitution Pt. 2 - (Self Forgiveness applied) - DAY 7 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Porn and Sex - Why do we allow the degradation of Man? DAY 3 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Porn Addicts Journey to Life: DAY 1 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
The Solutions and Rewards to Stopping Porn Addiction: DAY 12 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
My experience with Porn and Prostitution: DAY 4 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)
Online Porn and its Consequences: DAY 10 (pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com)



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 07 Sep 2013, 12:16

Judging My Sexuality as 'Dirty', 'Nasty' and 'Perverted': DAY 14
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... ed-day-14/

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as having a ‘nasty’, ‘dirty’ and ‘perverted’ sexuality

I forgive myself that I’ve not ever accepted or allowed myself to actually question that which I’ve accepted as a ‘normal/healthy’ and a ‘perverted/unhealthy’ sexuality or what is behind and the reason for how I’ve developed my particular sexuality

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to suppress myself and that which I’ve developed my sexuality into and as through self-judgment and as such that I’ve enslaved myself to this particular expression and thereby accepted it as my only expression in and as sexuality which I did not question because I was afraid of my own self-judgment and that which I believed that my sexuality said about me

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to want to cover up and hide and keep secret my sexuality and within and as this have believed that I simply had to contain/suppress and eradicate myself as that which I’ve defined as my sexuality/sexual expression as based on desires/fantasies of porn and movies in particular of dominance and submission as well as sex that is tabooed

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to resist writing or speaking or expressing anything about how I’ve fantasied about things I judge as 'Dirty', 'Nasty' and 'Perverted''Dirty', 'Nasty' and 'Perverted'

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to be scared of myself and ashamed of myself because of the fantasies that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate within and as

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am inherently evil and do not belong in this world because of the sexual fantasies that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to participate in and as and I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to blame myself and judge myself as being responsible for real life abuse because of my accepted and allowed participation in fantasies about abuse

I forgive myself that I’ve not accepted or allowed myself to question that which I’ve accepted as my sexuality or sexual expression as to whether this is actually my sexual expression or my only sexual expression and I forgive myself that I’ve not allowed myself to do that because I’ve allowed myself to fear this sexual expression and judge it and that’s how I’ve kept myself enslaved to it and not seen, realized or understood how this is a particular expression that I decided to immerse myself within and I that accumulated and ‘nurtured’ through years of participation in fantasies as well as deliberately seeking out people who had a similar sexual expression/inclination

I forgive myself that I’ve accepted and allowed myself to completely and entirely suppress and subdue any expression within and as myself of gentleness and vulnerability in relation to sex based on a belief and an idea that there wasn’t room for such expression when it came to sex - as an excuse for the fact that I wanted to use sex to escape from myself

Self-Commitment and Correction

When and as I see that I’m accepting and allowing myself to experience and participate in fear, judgment and shame towards that which I’ve perceived as my sexual expression/inclination, I stop and I breathe and I remind myself that this is not my actual sexual expression but a sexual expression/inclination that I’ve programmed myself into and as and that I am going into a moral judgment that isn’t actually real or applicable because as I’ve seen, realized and understood, that what happens when I judge myself is that I suppress and contain myself but that doesn’t make anything go away but instead I push a part of myself back into the shadows instead of actually directing myself and taking self-responsibility. I commit myself to explore and investigate who and what I am within and as sexuality/sexual expression – not as anything that is particularly based on any certain expression or images – but on me expressing myself here with and within my human physical body with myself and/or with another. As such I also commit myself to stop defining myself as having any particular sexual ‘inclinations’ because I see, realize and understand that I’ve limited and restricted my sexuality/sexual expression to only one certain format while suppressing everything else I might have expressed. And I commit myself to stop accepting my sexuality as a mental and energetic expression and I also commit myself to stop judging my sexuality and sexual expression as bad and wrong because I see, realize and understand that that which I’ve perceived and accepted as my sexuality/sexual expression was something I’d programmed into and as myself from within and as my mind, for the purposes of generating energy for the mind and enslaving myself. So I commit myself to discover and explore who and what I am as a sexual expression and as sexuality through and within my sexuality on a clean slate.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 10 Sep 2013, 10:45

Forgiving my Addiction to Cybersex - (Pt.1) - DAY 15
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... -1-day-15/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have participated in watching porn, not seen/realizing the harm it could cause.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek sexual thrills by watching porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine porn inside my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself against porn stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crave for sex just like in porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire and seek porn material in arts, movies, magazines and erotic novels.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see women as porn stars just after viewing porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see every man as a porn star and begin to compare myself against that man and feel myself as less than, all based on the projected images I have seen or viewed.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that ‘soft porn’ as acceptable not seen/realizing ‘soft porn’ is the entrance to the dark world of hardcore porn and its consequence.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek porn as young as 13 years old when I went to places where they showed ‘blue movies’ back in Sri-Lanka.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek porn magazines and masturbate according to them, not seen/realizing the harm I caused to myself and to other beings in those pictures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to watch porn on Saturday nights on the French channel, justifying it as soft porn, and then masturbate on it, not seen/realizing the energetic dependency I had developed consequently.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be kind of addicted to porn, at least to soft-porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get a real energy high when I went to those ‘adults only’ movies in anticipation of soft-porn back in Sri-Lanka.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see white women as porn stars just because all the porn I have seen are of Europeans, not seen/realizing how racially liked and judgmental porn consequences have been.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see every woman as a porn star and therefore ‘suspect’ her, not seen/realizing the reason I suspect others is because of my own participation and addiction to porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy and get excited about porn justifying it as harmless.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify porn as ‘just spice’ not seen/realizing it’s not ‘just spice’ it’s the whole meal, the crave to enjoy porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize this porn addiction is just that, an addiction to the energy of the mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like internet porn. In this I forgive myself for allowing myself to participate in cybersex.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sexualize women.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in ‘dirty talks’ and ‘erotic chats’ not seen/realizing it’s all rooted in desire/addiction for porn.

Interpersonal:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine others in porn positions while I am engaging with them socially.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge some couples as ‘must be porn stars’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge some women as ‘must be hot in bed’ just like the porn stars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pay money to have sex and thereby participate in the sex trade which is propelled by desire/addiction for porn.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go for massage parlors with the desire to get a ‘happy ending’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to visit brothels and massage parlors and thereby participate in the keeping up of the slave sex trade.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘win their hearts’ so that it can lead to consensual sex hiding the fact I had to pay to get in first of all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to first develop trust and then lead them to sex, not seen/realizing abusing trust is abusing life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that porn as the real stuff that people do in their normal lives, not seen/realizing pornography is just a movie, like science fiction, amplified imagination, not real, yet I have accepted it as a normal way to express myself in sex. In this I forgive myself for turning porn into my sex teacher.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize porn is the most unlikely of sex teachers.

Universal:

As society at large, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Porn is OK, as long as is its only for ‘adults’ in this not considering the consequence porn is creating even to adults.

As society and leaders, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that porn is for adults only, so it’s OK, it’s the freedom of choice to enjoy whatever the adults want, not seen/realizing the harm it can cause to adults, to their families and to their children.

As the world system, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately permit the existence of porn because it makes a shit load of money.

As the world system, I forgive myself for allowing porn to exist because it makes a lot of money.

As the world leaders and politicians, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend like porn doesn’t exist, not seen/realizing my pretense is because I love the money it brings.

As the world leaders, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not consider the effect of soft porn and hard porn has on children, though I conveniently pretend like these porn materials never reach children.

As the internet, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stuff myself with porn materials all over the place and in this I forgive myself for not seen/realizing the effect/consequence of internet porn has on adults and children.

As the internet, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make porn available for everyone with just a click. In this I forgive myself for being the manifestation that brings porn to every dark room in the total privacy and secrecy for anyone to enjoy/view porn. In this I forgive myself for contributing to the harmful side-effects of porn.

This is not about blame, humans have a natural desire for sex, and sexual expression, but turning it into a form of art that it has become what it is today, namely the pornography is something we all must take responsibility to STOP it completely. There is no justification to allow and accept the existence of porn anymore. Time to self-forgive ourselves and take self-responsibility to stop this ‘evil’.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 12 Sep 2013, 18:16

Stopping My Mental Porn Addiction (Pt. 2): DAY 16
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... -2-day-16/

From Part 1: I have had success transcending much of this already, through my DIP (Desteni I Process Pro) course and Desteni participation: chats, blogging, eqafe interviews and then applying what I have learned in my daily life, but not completely. Therefore, I will write it out until it is clear, no longer existent within and as me -so I do not require to use-or accept and allow myself to use- mental images (pornography in my mind) when having sex at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use pictures/imaginings in my mind when having sex with my partner and partners past.

In that, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see /realize/understand how participating within my own mind of pictures/fantasies in fact desensitizes oneself to ones partner and builds up an energetic charge that must be re-enforced and increased overtime-so ones imagination must become more and more extreme in its imaginings to produce that same result (JUST LIKE WITH ALCOHOL, as one requires to drink more and more as time goes on) just to feel the same energy ‘high’ effect you had when the addiction began.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see /realize/understand how I have judged myself as guilty, bad, less than, disgusting for participating in porn in my own mind but always after the fact, when before I minimized and justified my greedy want/desire in self-interest assuming it was ‘harming no one’ as it was just my mind and it did not matter/did not effect anyone else.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the emotions of self-judgement, guilt, regret, shame after using my mind of imagining others while having sex with my partner/past partners and when looking at these memories.

In this, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see /realize/understand how I was self-sabotaging myself over and over by limiting how intimate I would get with a man/partner because I would often not be here /present with him, when being sexually intimate, but lost in my own mind.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see /realize/understand how I have blamed various sexual partners throughout my life of not being monogamous or intimate enough, when I was cheating in my mind and I could not be intimate just with them!

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see /realize/understand how I effected another by essentially raping them in my mind, using images of religious nature believing it to be harmless and exciting to be ‘bad’ go against what is acceptable. In that, I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to, at times, use violent images of myself and others in my imagination believing this to be exciting and ‘bad’ and justifying it by telling myself that this is not harmful to anyone but perhaps myself.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand how I look into and as these memories, of using my own mind as a porn movie, as self-judgement. In that, I cannot effectively assist and support myself to change if I access memories within reactions of emotions, especially judgement, because then all I will see within such moments are my reactions, how I am then compromising/limiting/bullying myself . I cannot then change/transform me in my reaction toward the memories or look into those memories and see what I can learn .

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look into and as these memories as self-judgement and from that point then beLIEve I deserve to be punished I don’t deserve to forgive myself , that I deserve to punish myself because of what I’ve done. In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize/understand that with such a belief -that I deserve to punish/victimize/pity myself and really go into the depths of blame-, I cannot ever give myself the permission to learn and from that learning to in fact change.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see/realize and understand that I have to step up within myself that I have to absolutely make that decision to directly face what I had done and REALLY forgive myself for what I have done to such an extent that I know within the self-forgiveness I will really change because then I can trust my forgiveness, I can trust my change and transcend that point of believing that I need to punish myself because punishment is not going to change me, I am not going to learn from it. Only in the understanding what I did /why I did it will assist and support me to truly change and not repeat the past.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.


Investigate:

Desteni Forum for support:

http://forum.desteni.org./

Free interviews:

What is Sex:

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-overview
https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-introduction
https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-seven
https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-eight
https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-9

Shocking Secrets of Masturbation:

https://eqafe.com/series/7-shocking-sec ... sturbation

The Metaphysical Sectrets of Imagination:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... troduction
https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... ion-part-1



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 14 Sep 2013, 17:32

Healing My Mental Porn Addiction (Pt. 3): DAY 17
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... -3-day-17/

From Part 1: I have had success transcending much of this already, through my DIP (Desteni I Process Pro) course and Desteni participation: chats, blogging, eqafe interviews and then applying what I have learned in my daily life, but not completely. Therefore, I will write it out until it is clear, no longer existent within and as me -so I do not require to use-or accept and allow myself to use- mental images (pornography in my mind) when having sex at all.

Commitment and Self-Correction Application Statements:

When and as I see myself participating with pictures/imaginings when having sex with my partner I stop, I breathe, as I now understand if I am in my mind I am not here in the moment with my partner, I do not enjoy sex as much, this habit/addiction reduces intimacy with my partner, my partner does not enjoy sex as much as I am not present and he can tell/feel this disconnection (I know this because of how our sex life has improved since stopping this habit for several months now and my partner and I have discussed it).

As well, I realize using pornographic images/fantasies in my mind of another is like/equal to cheating on my partner, it is like/equal to raping another in my mind, it is in fact stealing the energy of this other person/or representation of a person (not specifically someone I know for example). I also understand that just because something is difficult at first, if one persevere = don’t give up, that we are indeed programmable so after a period it will become easier and then, eventually no longer exist within and as the person (for example, as many know, it generally takes 21 days to physically get over an addiction ie. smoking or alcohol and that desire/yearning like you NEED this thing NOW almost magically disappears). I remind myself to focus on what is real-to focus on my partner- stay with breath and enjoy!

When and as I see myself engaging within memories, of how I used fantasies when having sex with my partner/past partners, I stop I breathe. I remind myself how memories are useless in themselves and only bring up emotions/feeling which can harm me. I commit to the process of breathe awareness, I remind myself I am a physical being and get on with the task that it before me in physical reality.

When and as I see myself participating within the emotions of self-blame, judgement, self-pity, regret, and shame within the memories of using my min/fantasizing while having sex with my partner/past partners, I stop, I breathe. I realize I cannot effectively assist and support myself to change if I access memories within reactions of emotions, especially judgement, because then all I will see within such moments are my reactions, how I am then compromising/limiting/bullying myself . I cannot then change/transform me in my reaction toward the memories or look into those memories and see what I can learn .

In that, when and as I see myself beLIEving I deserve to punish/victimize/pity myself and really go into the depths of blame-, I stop, I breathe. I remind myself if I continue to participate in these emotions I cannot ever give myself the permission to learn and from that learning to in fact change, to transcend that point of believing that I need to punish myself because punishment is not going to change me, I am not going to learn from it. Only in the understanding what I did /why I did it will assist and support me to truly change and not repeat the past. Thus I stand and commit to the process of changing me!

When and as I see myself being directed by temptation, as in self-interest/greed/want/desire just because it makes me ‘feel good’ = a QUICK/easy ENERGY HIGH, escaping in my mind to a secret place where I have programmed myself over my lifetime to connect certain/specific pictures of violence, religion, physical appearance of a being- skin color/certain body type- to give me an energy high, satisfy myself with energy instead of with what is real in the physical and share an intimate experience with my partner, which build/creates love/respect between each other. I remind myself it is easy in the mind-it is quantum and you are god/ego- to imagine how great some sexual encounter would be, but in reality it is not so simple/easy and relationships that are real, require time, effort, patience, and that is the reality of this physical world, thus I commit to sticking to this physical world out of my mind of fantasies, when enjoying sex with my partner.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.

Investigate:

Porn Addicts Journey to Life:

http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpress.com/

Desteni Forum for support:

http://forum.desteni.org./

Free interviews:

What is Sex:

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-overview

https://eqafe.com/p/what-is-sex-part-9

Shocking Secrets of Masturbation:

https://eqafe.com/series/7-shocking-sec ... sturbation

The Metaphysical Sectrets of Imagination:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... troduction

https://eqafe.com/p/the-metaphysical-se ... ion-part-1



User avatar
Anna
Posts: 3724
Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 20:17
Location: Uppsala, Sweden
Contact:

Re: Porn Addicts Journey to Life

Postby Anna » 15 Sep 2013, 16:12

Forgiving My Addiction to Cybersex - (Pt.2) - DAY 18
http://pornaddictsjourneytolife.wordpre ... -2-day-18/

Continuing here from Part 1 with self-commitments to stop my addiction to cyber sex and porn:

When and as I see myself desiring to get back to porn, I stop I breathe.

When and as I see myself switching on the soft porn channels, I stop I breathe.

When and as I see myself clicking that link to porn, I stop I breathe.

When and as I see myself scanning the channels looking for porn, I stop I breathe.

When and as I see myself to checking out porn magazines at the corner stores, I stop I breathe.

When and as I see myself justifying a visit to the massage parlor by saying ‘to get physical massage only’, I stop I breathe, because I see/realize these massage parlors often offer the service of happy ending, which I have not been able to end the offer happily, by saying NO. Therefore I direct myself to breathe and stop myself from visiting any massage parlors; also I see its participation in sex trade.

When and as I see myself desiring any form of sexual thrill from images, photos, movies, shows, massages, I stop I breathe.

This is my corrective statement; this is my script to prevent the repetition of my olden past. Moreover, I am walking this process to stand as LIFE, as an example of LIFE; therefore I see/realize participating in porn is not the way to stand up for LIFE. Even the smallest participation in porn will open the door for the dark world of hardcore porn. Therefore I do not allow myself to participate even in soft porn, including body massages by these shady shops.

Addiction to porn is a big one, meaning addiction to watch, enjoy little fun stuff on the internet or DVDs, late night stuff, all fun, but the consequence is severe, and it can mess up the head really bad. You will begin to see a porn star in every woman you see on the road, now that is a dangerously nasty to way live on this earth. And those who like sex mixed with violence, are truly entering dark times, you will never know what will come out of it. If you have the tendencies to mix violence and porn, or sex rather, please listen to this serial killer, the once upon a time normal Ted Bundy, this guy was normal until he started soft porn, then hardcore porn, then porn mixed with violence, then such thoughts, emotions and feelings started to energize his mind, as time went on, he wanted more of it, until to the point where he had to create the mind based reality in the physical, leading to the death of many humans. His last interview is filled with real advice on how to prevent such atrocities in the future. How not to create a Ted Bundy again, accordingly Mr. Evil Bundy himself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize participating in the mind-energy is a dangerous game, either through porn or thru any other addictions, because I see/realize once the mind is fed into its addictions, there is really no end to it, until the end comes through the physical. Therefore I direct myself to live within the breath/breathe here in the physical moment by moment, breath by breath.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see/realize this one life to life, this one body I have, is not to be squandered in vain by feeding into my mind addictions, so I direct myself to LIVE this life, by stopping the mind, by stopping the cravings of the mind. I support myself by breathing, by living within the breath.

I breathe, I stop.

Porn Addicts Journey to Life is written by a Group of people who have all walked through Addiction to Porn, Sex and Masturbation through the tools shared by Desteni. We share our perspectives and experiences with Porn to Support those who are ready to take the next step to Stop the Addiction to Porn.

Who we are doesn’t matter because we’re the same as you. We write anonymously because of where the world is at today in relation to porn and because of the understanding and the persecution that follow porn addicts. We write anonymously so that we can share the unfiltered truth about life as a porn addict, so that it may assist and support those who are still trapped in the addiction to porn.

For more information about how you can utilize the tool of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, join, DIP Lite – the FREE online course. For more support on Porn Addiction, visit the Desteni Forum.

Listen to the notorious Ted Bundy explaining how he became what he was mainly because of PORN, study from his last interview.

Join this revolution of Writing. The Journey to LIFE.

Equal Life Foundation: https://www.facebook.com/EqualLifeFoundation

Basic Income Guaranteed: http://basicincome.me/




Return to “Blogs on Addiction”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron