I felt the need to share my blog post from today, here for those who have not requested to be put on the permission list.
For anyone considering walking themselves out of porn/masturbation addiction, hopefully this will give you perspective on what you could be looking forward to.
Caution however, this is my experience. I do not know what you will experience doing it. I just want others who are going through this addiction to understand how beneficial this decision can be for you. I am learning as I go here, but so far it has been worth it!
Today is day 21 of my masterbation cleanse. This process is nothing short of life changing. I never could have or would have predicted what has happened.
My violent mood swings no longer exist and everyone around me has noticed I am different, and they like it.
I have now begun pulling myself out of my consciousness into awareness, and the more days that go by, the more i am focused on the physical, every breath and every moment. I am no longer feeling fear as consistantly/intensely as before.
I have almost complete control of my feelings/emotions, and I barely ever react in ego, by going into mind fuck hateful/spiteful ego mental rampages hating everything and everyone in the world, believing it should be destroyed. And when I go into negative feelings/thoughts, I am aware it's not me, I apply self forgivness and pull myself out of it.
I can feel my body slowing strengthening, as I am no longer sucking my sexual energy and feeding it to my mind/ego. I have more strength and energy as time goes by.
I am more aware of my surroundings, I am able to appreciate everyone and everything around me in ways I never had before. I now actually look at the sun, mountains and nature and get excited.
In the last 2 weeks, I have slept less then 6 hours a night and wake up happy almost every morning not feeling fatigued and feel happy and grateful, and if I don't feel completely happy, I am able to unmindfuck myself almost instantly and say "i'm alive, the day is good, I choose to live".
Things in the ladies department have also changed. I am no longer afraid to look at females and admire them. I can even communicate with them decently and am starting to enjoy being around them believing that it is normal.
I have been reading the book "equal money: the future of money" during my breaks and a woman who is a laborer at my site asked me about it, I explained the concept without hesitation, knowing that it is coming to earth. She said that what I told her resonated completely with her, very interesting.
I walk everyday in excitement and anticipation knowing what I am doing, walking my process to bring about heaven on earth.
I still, however feel the tingly numbness in my right index finger and thumb, probably the energy channels still being desensitized or whatever is happening to it. As long as I am feeling that sensation, I will assume that there is still restructuring or energetic cleaning going on in there.
Desteni gave me the tools to do this, and because of desteni, I now know I can live a life I never thought I could have.
I now fully commit myself to this process of self change, as who I am, in every breath, as I have proven to myself that CHANGE REALLY IS POSSIBLE FOR ANYONE.
I am now becoming the directive principle in my life.
The best part is that this is just the beginning. I still have a lot of work to do.
Thank you to all who inspired me to be the change!