OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

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KimKline
Posts: 500
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 06:05

OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby KimKline » 29 Jan 2015, 07:06

Hi,

I am sharing my process of walking through obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). OCD is an 'umbrella disorder' that encompasses many different sub-disorders. I am focusing on dermatillomania, or compulsive skin-picking (CSP), which is a body-focused repetitive disorder (BFRD) falling under the OCD umbrella. I will be sharing posts from my two blogs: Kim's Journey to Life http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/, and: From Dermatillomania to Life
http://dermotillomaniatolife.blogspot.ca, as well as from my youtube channel https://www.youtube.com/user/kimkline81

Thank you!



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KimKline
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Re: OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby KimKline » 29 Jan 2015, 07:10

Day 143- Dermatillomania: Staring the Beast in the Face

I didn't realize I had anything ‘wrong’ with me until my abnormal psych professor described what seemed like my exact experience in front of the entire class. That’s when it dawned on me that I had OCD. I was about 17 at that time, and I had had the disorder for as long as I could remember. However, I wasn't even aware of it because... it was all I knew.

Like most people, I had little awareness or education about obsessive compulsive disorders. I ignorantly thought OCD was only when people were extreme “germaphobes,” or when they have to check the door a million times before they leave the house, or arrange things a certain way- but when my prof described it in generic terms, as simply repeating irrational behavior without being able to stop yourself, even when you want to, I realized that I was in fact a ‘sufferer’ of such a condition.

Once I came to this realization and began doing research in order to find out more about the disorder, and find out more about me, what I saw is that I found myself within everything: OCD, dermatillomania, body-dismorphic disorder, body-focused repetitive behavior, and more. It was all very interesting to read about, but there seemed to be little research and few solutions provided. After a while, I just basically dropped it, for a very long time. Like many others at this stage (early 20's), I got more into drinking, nights out, etc... and it was easier to forget about it, hide it, cover it up.

I only began to look at it again after I got married (kinda hard to hide in a marriage). It took me about two years before I was even able to talk about it with my husband. When I saw that he still accepted me and didn't judge me as the freak I judged myself as- I decided to give it some attention again because, it was actually a pretty big, disruptive deal in my life. The only thing is, I had no idea what to do.

The therapies I looked into included pharmaceutical and behavioural therapy, but back then, I was way too ashamed and embarrassed to go to the doctor. Years passed as I tried to 'just stop', but it never worked. I tried not talking about it, and then I tried online forums and reaching out to several people and talking a lot about it, thinking that, if I shared it it would go away.

So, life with ocd just went on. I just managed with it, and didn't manage with it. I became very isolated and down on myself for a while. Some times it would be an all encompassing depressive state, others I would manage to be ok for bits and spurts of time. Drinking and pot helped, but sometimes that would make it all seem worse. Eventually, I found Desteni, and since then, everything has changed.

To jump ahead a bit, since I've been working with the Desteni tools, I have learned a lot about myself. Now that I have more of an understanding of myself, before I would consider committing to drugs or therapy, I would first investigate myself and walk the process of OCD using the Desteni tools of self-forgiveness, self-commitment and self-corrective application. I would really give it my all, before I would be able to make the statement that "I have tried everything, the only thing that can help me is drugs and/or therapy".

In the wikipedia articles, there was some research that people saw results with OCD drugs and therapy, with fewer results associated with attempts to treat dermatillomania. But the way I would tend to look at it, is that the treatments do not address the underlying causes of the behavior in the first place, such as the thoughts, feelings, emotions, memories, ideas, perceptions beliefs, habits, patterns, internal conversations etc... things which only ourselves can investigate, understand and change.

The treatments seem to mostly address stopping the symptoms; the irrational behavior itself, seeing the treatment as the solution as a reaction to the symptoms. But I would first like to investigate prevention, finding out what causes the internal experience in the first place, and then implementing practical solutions to change them, thus placing MYSELF as the solution. I have already proven to myself this is possible within and through walking my process in pretty much every area of my life so far, so I simply can't resort to 'last resorts' before I really give it my all, committing myself and applying myself fully, proving to myself if I actually can't do it. But I would never give up and assume such a thing, until I at least try.

To learn the basics of self-forgiveness, sign up for the free course at DIPLITE, try it for yourself, for free, and start to get to know yourself within a deeper understanding, in order to build a new self that you can count on.
- See more at: http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2 ... G6HN5.dpuf



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KimKline
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Re: OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby KimKline » 29 Jan 2015, 07:12

Here I am starting with walking my process of OCD and dermatillomania, or compulsive skin-picking (CSP). I'm sharing about my history with the disorder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E2p1T0k7HI8



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KimKline
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Re: OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby KimKline » 03 Jul 2015, 03:48

Day 144- Dermatillomania: Staring the Beast in the Face (pt 2)












This blog is continued from: Day 143- Dermatillomania: Staring the Beast in the Face




In my previous blog I shared a bit about my history with ocd/dermatillomania- how I realized I had it, how it affected my life, and how everything began to change. Within this blog, I will be continuing with my current experience




If I think about my own experience, I would say I experience anxiety much of the time. It is/was hard to determine this, because when it’s your own experience and you have nothing to compare it to, it’s hard to determine what it is to feel ‘normal’ and ‘ok’, if that even exists at the moment. When I feel anxious and uncomfortable within myself, I pick at my skin, and for a short time, I feel better. However, I have had some similar effects with writing, which is obviously a more substantial solution, as it assists me to build my self-acceptance, self-discipline and self-correction. This allows for more of a facing of self, and a real release (real-ease), instead of a build up of energy and then a self-destructive release/high/numbing eexperience, such as that which I manifest within skin-picking.




Within my process of writing, self-forgiveness and self-corrective application, I have managed to get parts of my life back, and of myself back, wherein, the OCD no longer runs my life in every moment like it used to. It has been a necessary process for me so far, to even be able to write about this.


What I have discovered in my writing so far, is that OCD is like an extreme escape and withdrawal from the world, to not have to face and cope with situations and events that seem to me to be too overwhelming, wherein, instead of teaching myself and learning how to face/cope with the world and my life, I had instead perfected my ability to escape, suppress, neglect and hide. The thing is, these habits- escaping, neglecting, avoiding, hiding- actually create a world of chaos. These mechanisms literally manifest the exact thing that drives me to pick at my skin, almost in a way, allowing myself to justify and continue the addiction.



And it is like an addiction, in my case. On the Wikipedia entry on dermatillomania, skin picking is described as more similar to substance abuse rather than an anxiety disorder. For me, I can relate to this and I observe it within myself in many ways. When I watch television shows about substance addiction, I can relate my exact experience, and feel as though I am watching myself and the struggles and self-compromise I have created in my life with this disorder.




To be continued in my next blog...



- See more at: http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2 ... nOLOs.dpuf



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KimKline
Posts: 500
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Re: OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby KimKline » 03 Jul 2015, 03:52

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkOeJwd2ePQ

OCD and CSP- Physical Support

How to approach self-treating obsessive compulsive disorder, which includes dermatillomania, impulse control, body-focused repetitive disorder, and more. Here is the process in writing:


Kim's Journey to Life - http://kimsjourneytolife.blogspot.com...

http://dermotillomaniatolife.blogspot.ca/



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viktor
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby viktor » 05 Jul 2015, 19:01

Cool Kim – will be interesting to see what you find.



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barbara
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Joined: 12 Jun 2011, 21:52

Re: OCD/BFRD/CSP/Dermatillomania

Postby barbara » 05 Jul 2015, 19:37

Awesome sharing, Kim! Thanks!




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