When your mood changes from sweet to sour in a click of a light switch - WHAT DO I DO!?!?!? 20 September 2017

Marlen
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When your mood changes from sweet to sour in a click of a light switch - WHAT DO I DO!?!?!? 20 September 2017

Postby Marlen » 21 Sep 2017, 16:49

2:01 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: When your mood changes from sweet to sour in a click of a light switch - WHAT DO I DO!?!?!?


[2:02 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: When your mood changes from sweet to sour in a click of a light switch - WHAT DO I DO!?!?!? - we start 5 after the hour


[2:03 PM]
miranda Hi


[2:06 PM]
kimk Hi!


[2:06 PM]
sylvie Hi


[2:07 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: When your mood changes from sweet to sour in a click of a light switch - WHAT DO I DO!?!?!? - let's start


[2:08 PM]
sunettedimensions Throughout the years of my process, my life as me in this world and the next - I have found there are occasions where my mood can change in instant. Let's not at the moment look at the VARYING causes that you EVENTUALLY find - just share the moments it happens


[2:09 PM]
Everyone can relate to this happening - in time finding out the reason / cause, but sometimes you can stay in that sour mood for hours and a day / two - sometimes more, feeling like absolute shit when you act on it towards those who you cherish, love and appreciate the most


[2:10 PM]
Keeping saying sorry, apologizing, asking for forgiveness - but still going up and down in this state until you FINALLY get underneath it, understand it and manage to do SELF forgiveness and change it


[2:11 PM]
Who can relate and has stories to share of the MOOD change from sweet to sour in an instant when something triggers it?


[2:11 PM]
Let's first share the stories, then we share the WHAT TO DO!


[2:12 PM]
cerise when someone in my environment is in a bad mood, that can sometimes be a trigger for me


[2:13 PM]
joekou dear god yes i've had these happen. in the best case i did snap out of it and was able to sort things out with the people but in the worse cases i have ended up hurting people and breaking relationships that never recovered after


[2:13 PM]
kimk Yes, some moments I feel excited, light and in a good mood, then an interaction will not go how I expected, and it will all come crashing down, as if my while self was just toppled and now everything sucks.


[2:13 PM]
cerise yup kimk


[2:13 PM]
miranda Yes, can relate. I do this very often towards my daughter. It happens very quick, one moment I am relaxed and then she does something and I react immediately. I have found that it has to do with her not doing things how I want them to be done.


[2:14 PM]
joekou the worse of it for me is when i see and know what is going on in me and how i am affecting people around me - especially people close to me - but i dont find a way to really stop it


[2:14 PM]
leilazm I have this often when I find myself in a challenging situation where I perceive that I can't handle it and that it's too much , then suddenly everything turns to shit and is unfair. Or where I made a mistake / forgot to do something I tend to really beat myself up about it and suddenly the smallest thing becomes the end of the world


[2:14 PM]
sunettedimensions Who can share practical recent examples - for example with me :wink: my partner and I were making a pizza. He genuinely wanted to support by getting to starting up my pizza. Yet, when looking at HOW it was done and WHAT was added lol - I was triggered. Like, a really weird, odd, bizarre, unimportant, little thing lol


[2:14 PM]
So, let's share the funny bizarre odd moments this can happen too!


[2:15 PM]
(yeeeeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssss we did laugh together after I figured out the point lol - but in the moment, it was a BIG THING lol)


[2:15 PM]
anna This has happened for me a lot when I was a child, where I'd come home from school and go intstantly into a bad mood cause I'd been holding myself in all day. Recently it's been happening in the weekends, where I've held myself in all week taking care of my baby, and then once my partner is home for the weekend, it is like I collapse.


[2:15 PM]
leilazm And here I found its because I still feel like I need to punish myself for things instead of seeing the situation for what it is, move, direct, correct and move on


[2:16 PM]
kimk I am talking to my mom on the phone, and I shared something I was excited about, and instead of also being excited, she paused and then questioned it, I felt immediately deflated

[2:16 PM]
anna Another example is if my partner has done the grocery shopping and he buys something wrong. Man, that has caused me to become pissed off - because I was usually the one in control of the shopping and have had very specific products I preferred etc, and now suddenly this person comes and does it all wrong! lol

[2:16 PM]
joanajesus I notice that my mood changes when I see my partner in bed when it's already quite late and I know that there are things that need to be done - I go into a mode of feeling desperate and thinking that it's all on me (these days I am much quicker at stopping the reaction as I am aware that it's only making things worse for me)


[2:17 PM]
leilazm Also when things have actually been going extremely well, if then one small point falls out I will use that to prove to myself that ' I knew it!! This has been too good to be true! '

[2:17 PM]
sunettedimensions lol @anna relates to mine hey - the dimension of "control - do it as I want it and I want it only exact always thank you very much!"lol

[2:17 PM]
lol @leilazm absolutely can relate hey!!!!

[2:18 PM]
miranda We did the dishes together and my daughter left the hand gloves on the kitchen counter where I know they don't dry fast enough....I reacted furious

[2:18 PM]
sunettedimensions Like you were waiting for shit to hit the fan - almost so used to chaos that anything good is ""too good to be true

[2:18 PM]
dan I have really surprised myself with how this unfolds for me when I am listening to someone for longer than I want to, and build up frustration, and then one little thing, and that's all it takes to boil over!


[2:18 PM]
anna The worst part is that I can then go on 'complainazilla autopilot'

[2:18 PM]
Where I remember all the things that are going wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong.... and wrong.

[2:18 PM]
sunettedimensions lol @miranda I did that to myself recently - hung my gloves in a space where water seeped into them :disappointed: I was not happy with me

[2:19 PM]
miranda Lol @sunettedimensions

[2:19 PM]
anna But i've been getting better at stopping myself and laugh at it because it is quite silly


[2:19 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes @anna and then from that moment - everything is just wrong and shit, especially the things you'd just laugh off


[2:19 PM]
adam I reacted the other day to 'putting my foot in my mouth' in a conversation, where I had not considered the context in which I was speaking. It was not a big thing but on the other hand it did change my mood.

[2:19 PM]
anna yes lol

[2:19 PM]
joanajesus yes @anna quite an avalanche

[2:20 PM]
sunettedimensions Interesting @adam

[2:20 PM]
does happen yes

[2:20 PM]
That internal "I wish I could put my head in the sand round about now / sink into it!"

[2:20 PM]
Alright everone

[2:20 PM]
adam yep, ooops

[2:20 PM]
sunettedimensions *everyone

[2:21 PM]
Let's keep it to that SMALL moment

[2:21 PM]
That few seconds in a minute where we CHANGE

[2:22 PM]
No matter what the REASON - how can we change it to AT LEAST slow down and not let the mood-change spillage over to the moments emerging towards self and others

[2:22 PM]
Why I am focusing on the SMALL in those FEW SECONDS is due to this

[2:23 PM]
mattifreeman when I was quite hungry and finally it was time to eat, and I sit down to eat with the person I'm with, and as they're eating they start carrying on a conversation, and as I'm eating I feel annoyed like, 'I'm busy eating, I'm not going to have a conversation right now'

[2:23 PM]
sunettedimensions I have TOO MANY TIMES accepted and allowed myself to STAY IN IT only to long after go "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh THAT IS WHY!!!"and then ask forgiveness and explain everything and everything is fine. When I started practicing correcting the moment it happens, just stabilize as much I can, investigate the point and sort it out asap

[2:23 PM]
miranda yes, matti, I can relate

[2:23 PM]
mattifreeman and then 'I'm going to only acknowledge your conversation in the most minimal ways to show that I"M BUSY EATING'

[2:23 PM]
lol

[2:24 PM]
sunettedimensions awwww man @mattifreeman can relate hey - even to the point where I had to walk through eventually saying to someone "can't have a conversation right now, gonna, eat - I am STARVING!"and they were pretty cool about it. But, still had to walk through just saying it as it is and not feeling bad about it

[2:24 PM]
mattifreeman but then when I relfected on what the moment would be like if they were absolutely silent and stony faced and just eating as I am - I realized that's not actually what I would prefer - I actually do enjoy conversation while eating

[2:24 PM]
lol

[2:25 PM]
kimk Do you see the point in the moment @sunettedimensions ? Or do you stabilize the reaction and look at the point later?

[2:25 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes @kimk

[2:25 PM]
as you said it

[2:25 PM]
anna Cool @sunettedimensions

[2:25 PM]
mattifreeman and also I realized, I can still focus on eating primarily, while they are talking to me - but not be in a mood about it lol

[2:25 PM]
sunettedimensions I do see there is no excuse as to why I can't stabilize myself as much as possible in that moment

[2:26 PM]
mattifreeman @sunettedimensions thanks for the example, glad you can relate lol

[2:26 PM]
anna Yep agreed lol. "Excuse me, I'm going to throw a tantrum here because I don't yet know why I am doing it, so I'm just going to let it roll."

[2:27 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @mattifreeman

[2:27 PM]
mattifreeman I find that when I stop judging the person, then I'm able to even use humor / actually use self expression to communicate what I was previously holding as a mood / point of annoyance

[2:27 PM]
sunettedimensions lol @anna or speak it out loud rather than keeping it in if happening with someone close to you who will understand

[2:28 PM]
I'd say the one thing we shouldn't do is keep quiet about it

[2:28 PM]
with ourselves especially

[2:28 PM]
take a moment just SETTLE the emotion, as much as possible in the moment and take time when you have a mo asap to investigate

[2:28 PM]
Anyone have other suggestions?

[2:29 PM]
anna Yes that's what has worked the best for Viktor and I, to laugh it out, overexaggerate it in the moment, go "Oooops. I see what I'm doing! haha!" It has been important because it is a hack where you take the 'sting' out of it and stop making it something so big and serious and dramatic, and can laugh WITH yourself/one another. It is an embrace in a way.

[2:30 PM]
mattifreeman or like getting in a bad mood if someone washed some dishes and then then the next day you find some things in the drying rack with food all over it -- can either get annoyed / moody about it -- or as I prefer, could say something like -- Hey so and so, I noticed you had a very creative dish washing session last night! And bring it to their attention in a lighter / non judgmental way

[2:30 PM]
anna Cause in the past I'd then be ashamed and judge myself instead and then go into suppression and/or another avalance of emotions I then also needed to sort out.

[2:30 PM]
sunettedimensions Ahhh @anna so you deliberately change your own mood in the moment and decide to LAUGH?

[2:30 PM]
anna Yes @sunettedimensions lol

[2:30 PM]
It is Viktor who has taught me how to do it, cause I'd otherwise take my own emotions VERY seriously


[2:30 PM]
adam yes cool anna that laughing option I like too how it opens it up

[2:31 PM]
miranda Indeed, in the moment of my reaction, I stop myself by saying to myself 'this is not who I want to be'. It works right away

[2:31 PM]
sunettedimensions Haha okay @anna so think of something real funny or just really starting laughing even if it feel forceful in the beginning - just laugh until you really laugh

[2:31 PM]
kimk I have practiced something, when I was giving myself support words one day, and I used the words 'roll with it'. It's like, in these moments I can see that reality is simply rolling forward, but me, in my bad mood, has like, slammed the breaks on and now things are unenjoyable. I have seen that if I instead, stop and look at what else opens up, we can all move on back into the more fluid moment. So, it's like, do I move with the moment, or do I slam on the breaks cause I am not getting the moment I wanted - type thing

[2:31 PM]
mattifreeman @anna I agree finding a way to laugh at yourself in such moments can be really cool

[2:32 PM]
sunettedimensions Nice @kimk \

[2:32 PM]
anna Or like Viktor will ask me in a loving gentle voice, but also funny: "Anna, is this who you are? Is this the real Anna?" And I will go with a childish voice/playing with it: "Noooo..." lol and we'll joke around with it.

[2:32 PM]
mattifreeman lol

[2:33 PM]
anna Cool @kimk - I also like one liners like that that I can speak to myself

[2:33 PM]
miranda That's cool anna

[2:33 PM]
kimk Yes, then the situation often takes a very unexpected turn, and everything is fine and I can see how ridiculous I was being

[2:34 PM]
anna Like in the past week I worked with the sounding/redefinition of calm as "call me back home." And I could apply a very physical/practical application to that of literally pulling my focus back into my body. Simple and easy to remember.

[2:35 PM]
kimk Yes, in these moments it often surprises me how easy it is to just drop it and move on

[2:35 PM]
it is a matter of a decision

[2:36 PM]
and then there is the reward of having a more real moment with the person, because it wasn't controlled and there are no expectations cause it is now happening real-time

[2:37 PM]
sunettedimensions @kimk yes for the moment however

[2:37 PM]
when my mood changes so quickly

[2:37 PM]
know ont thing

[2:37 PM]
*one thing

[2:37 PM]
ACCUMULATED ENERGY

[2:37 PM]
So many take this for granted

[2:38 PM]
When you react so quick to something so simple - something deeper is stirring

[2:38 PM]
miranda yes


[2:38 PM]
sunettedimensions You can keep on keeping on managing the mini reactions and gliding by dropping them quickly

[2:38 PM]
anna Yes absolutely

[2:39 PM]
sunettedimensions bu that will be your life then

[2:39 PM]
I do, whenever I know I am having ridiculous possessive reactions in instant towards simple things - something in me has gone unnoticed for some time


[2:40 PM]
Simply reactions I feel in my solar plexus and head via thoughts - I move past quick BUT

[2:40 PM]
anna Drop it while it's hot. Like you heat up this stove top and then put something on it and grab it with your hands, and you drop it to not burn yourself, but you can't understand why it keeps being hot every time you pick it up.


[2:41 PM]
sunettedimensions an intense overwhelming reaction taking over my body voice and behavior for a moment and longer - is a flagpoint


[2:41 PM]
sylvie Yes, it's to drop the energy or the energy will drop you/your mood

[2:41 PM]
sunettedimensions So when I change in mood in an instant and I want to act on it and speak in it and it takes over for hours - I have to investigate


[2:42 PM]
I know when my mood changes towards something like pizza toppings and it overwhelms me with rushing thoughts, emotions, behavior - energy accumulation over days at play here

[2:42 PM]
sylvie It's interesting to realise for self at a mood drop that self was participating in energy. very supportive therefor, especially positive energy I found hard to see.


[2:43 PM]
sunettedimensions need to stabilize asap in the moment to not ACT nor SPEAK in it even if I want to


[2:43 PM]
and figure out the REAL CAUSE or SOURCE

[2:43 PM]
sylvie yup :slightly_smiling_face:

[2:43 PM]
sunettedimensions NOT just move on and drop it

[2:44 PM]
I do drop it and move on when I have a quick respojnse that only affect my thoughts and solar plexus area in a light / general way, but doesn't change my voice, behavior etc

[2:44 PM]
sylvie What was I feeling?

[2:45 PM]
kimk For a longer more lingering reaction, do you move yourself to write it out asap @sunettedimensions?

[2:49 PM]
sunettedimensions @kimk either look at it within, speak or write yes

[2:49 PM]
I'd say

[2:49 PM]
dan Sometimes, when this happens to me, I get kind of flustered by my anger, and will find difficulty in slowing down to investigate the details of how/when I had been suppressing the energy. The "i can't..." backchat is particularly annoying. I totally agree that when my energy reactions take over my body in such a drastic way - must investigate...even if it seems really hard


[2:50 PM]
sunettedimensions because this may be a new point to explore for some


[2:50 PM]
let's do this

[2:50 PM]
sylvie yes interesting sunette

[2:50 PM]
sunettedimensions for this week until next Weds - we ask of you and the public - to practice new ways of dealing with the EXTENSIVE reaction for yourself

[2:51 PM]
the ones that take over your body, self and words, tonality in an instant

[2:51 PM]
like, you can feel yourself about to speak and act in an reaction or you already did

[2:51 PM]
how we change that for ourselves, practically in a moment

[2:51 PM]
miranda Will do

[2:51 PM]
sunettedimensions All agree?

[2:51 PM]
sylvie cool


[2:51 PM]
miranda yes

[2:51 PM]
sunettedimensions Let's all be unique

[2:51 PM]
anna Deal

[2:52 PM]
dan ok

[2:52 PM]
sunettedimensions share our personal how to's

[2:52 PM]
anna I'd very much like to practice this point.

[2:52 PM]
ingrids Ok

[2:52 PM]
sunettedimensions and then we start with HOW TO DIG DEEPER

[2:52 PM]
miranda Nice

[2:52 PM]
adam ok

[2:52 PM]
sunettedimensions Get to the REAL ISSUE and why "just moving by silly moments" actually cause more consequence and suppression in the long run


[2:53 PM]
EQAFE recordings will be forthcoming on these dimensions!


[2:53 PM]
sylvie :+1:


[2:53 PM]
miranda Great, thank you


[2:54 PM]
kimk cool!


[2:54 PM]
miranda Bye all


[2:54 PM]
dan thanks for the exercise!


[2:54 PM]
ingrids Thanks all, cool


[2:55 PM]
anna Thanks all


[2:55 PM]
Bye!


[2:55 PM]
sylvie thanks byee


[2:55 PM]
ingrids Bye


[2:56 PM]
sunettedimensions If any moments like the pizza moment happens lol


[2:56 PM]
adam arg


[2:57 PM]
sunettedimensions I will share the moment corrections


[2:58 PM]
Thanks all for sharing


[2:58 PM]
so important to share the little moments, will support many!!!


[2:58 PM]
Speak soon!


[2:58 PM]
adam thanks everyone



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