Life Hacks: Holding on to a Grudge and Letting Go of it - 29 September 2017

Marlen
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Life Hacks: Holding on to a Grudge and Letting Go of it - 29 September 2017

Postby Marlen » 29 Sep 2017, 21:59

Life Hacks: Holding on to a Grudge and Letting Go of it - let's start 5 after the hour, Anna will share her case study


[2:03 PM]
valentin.rozman Hi all :slightly_smiling_face:


[2:04 PM]
randy Hello peeps...


[2:04 PM]
anna Well it's not so much a specific case study. It's more than I've realized that I tend to hold onto grudges which I didn't know I was doing lol. But it can even be like little things that people have said/done years ago and when I see them again there is that point of holding back/holding on within me.



[2:04 PM]
alyson Hi @marlen , how r u , have you been having many aftershocks after the big quake?


[2:04 PM]
garbrielle HI all


[2:04 PM]
marlen hey alyson, I'm ok, yeah there's thousands, nothing that big though - thanks :slightly_smiling_face:



[2:05 PM]
carlton Hello


[2:05 PM]
anna I find it quite strange really because I otherwise find I am quite good at forgiving people and understanding their starting-point - but I see now that, this is obviously only when I've actually worked with the point and pulled it through to a resolution within myself. So obviously those 'grudges' are showing points I didn't yet forgive.


[2:06 PM]
So we can move onto the next topic now lol


[2:06 PM]
randy lol anna

[2:06 PM]
alyson Glad you're ok, it certainly takes practice to get through the aftershocks, they can be worse than the main event! Take care :heart:


[2:07 PM]
marlen lol @anna yeah you see the point in terms of how we might shift our expression with certain people due to that, however for the sake of also sharing and opening up with people out there, what do you realize you could in those moments do towards people even if you haven't yet worked through it in detail in writing, sf, etc.?

[2:07 PM]
randy yeah, a grudge is not much more than " Holding Onto" a reaction... so, of course it's showing us something we have not yet faced for ourself...


[2:08 PM]
marlen meaning, sometimes we will still find this kind of situations that open up in our lives, where we will become aware of this kind of 'held grudges' and realize shit, I am experiencing a hold back with this person in my expression, what can be practically done in that moment, as one is interacting with the person

[2:08 PM]
and of course with due time and space, we can then open the point up in detail for us to actually 'process' through it, though what can be done, what can be accessed as living words in such moments as a correction, what have you guys found?

[2:08 PM]
anna Well I see it being very much about "taking a stand" inside myself of literally stepping back from that person, like not wanting to know them/be around them, due to this grudge, so simply embracing them/walking towards them inside myself is already a change nad something I've found effective.


[2:09 PM]
But the thing is this also: I didn't realize I was doing it lol and now I'm like "shit, I'm doing it with SO m any people,and for so petty stuff lol"

[2:10 PM]
marlen In my case I can notice for example such subtle tension, stiffness that almost would want to stop interacting with the person if I 'bring in' the past experience/moment as something to 'hold on against' so, in my case, the word letting go is usually supportive to remind myself that, there's no point in 'loading the past' within me while interacting with this person, I can start 'anew' in every moment, so it's a decision I can make - while also taking the 'note to self' to work on that particular dimension of 'discomfort' or 'grudge' that emerged towards that person

[2:10 PM]
anna Exactly Marlen

[2:10 PM]
alyson Holding grudges is not something I can relate too, for me, I will get quickly fired up, and then let it go, so for me, especially with the kids, it is a challenge not to go in to a reaction at all

[2:11 PM]
marlen that's cool to realize @anna and it's quite a nice topic to open up precisely because of how often we just 'load' our memories such as grudge, spite, dislike, opinions about others and in that one instant, we change/shift/alter our expression towards people because we are listening to our minds more than actually living and interacting with people in the moment -

[2:11 PM]
anna That's another cool point to bring up though @alyson - but maybe for a different chat

[2:12 PM]
alyson Yes @anna

[2:12 PM]
garbrielle yes anna I also found that, the surface layer will be petty stuff but underneath that hiding is a point within self one is not wanting to face, so the point always is about self in some point that self is not being honest about....once i have found that layer, cleared the surface layer and inner points, then the relationship expands and you see what you were missing....quite a cool potential here for this sort of experience as it's a 'easy' flag to see ok i am suppressing something here about myself



[2:12 PM]
adam yes seeing the person for real is a good support

[2:13 PM]
marlen I've noticed how some people at times are rather short-worded for example towards me, and then through other people I got to know 'oh they are ashamed because of this and that happening' and it's stuff I wasn't even aware of, so also seeing how we can assist people to also transcend their grudges, points of shame etc towards ourselves by us deciding to 'have a clean slate' in one's interactions with people



[2:13 PM]
anna Yes agree @garbrielle


[2:13 PM]
garbrielle cool Marlen on the physical indications


[2:13 PM]
valentin.rozman I perceive myself as someone who does not hold any grudges at all. However this is just something that is my conscious mind. When I will go and dig deeper in my mind I might discover that I do have some grudges about someone.



[2:13 PM]
anna lol yes absolutely Marlen


[2:14 PM]
Yes lol @valentin.rozman - I thought this about myself as well


[2:14 PM]
randy I can't relate to grudges either... I'm fully capable of getting "fired up" over something.... but, don't recall holding onto any "grudges".... get over and let go of stuff rather quickly



[2:14 PM]
anna until I realized: Man, I'm a great grudgeholder!


[2:14 PM]
marlen good catch @garbrielle there on the 'petty' point and how we use this kind of 'labeling' to not open up these pointers within us, sneaky selves and again, the devil is in the detail as they say, so yes, these are all considerations to also stand as an example towards others that may also 'feel' uncomfortable towards us for something that happened in the past - and it's quite cool to through words, through how one decides to communicate, they kind of realize 'hey they are not mad, it's all ok, ok then I get comfortable' like a 'weight' lifts off, because ultimately, what would be the point of playing grudges-back-and-forth with others? it only limits our ability to change in the moment


[2:15 PM]
randy "it only limits our ability to change in the moment" absolutely marlen

[2:16 PM]
alyson Yes @valentin.rozman , from what you have shared perhaps you may be holding a grudge around your dad or your brother, does that make sense?


[2:16 PM]
kimk For me, I faced the grudge point in the corporate environment, where there is a lot of competition which leads to un-enjoyable behaviour where I found myself on the receiving end of being thrown under the bus. I held a grudge against the woman for a while, then Idecided to get to know her better, so that I did not narrow in on and focus only on this one thing she did. In the end, although I did not agree with her action, I actually saw points in her that I admired, in how she was fighting for herself, her success and career, something I ended up learning from her.


[2:16 PM]
marlen randy I definitely can relate to this grudge-holding more as a child for example, where I'd hold a grudge to people that would have bullied me in one way or another, and it's interesting when talking about these people - nowadays after 20 plus years - I could see the desire to kind of remember them with this 'anger' lol, and then I realize, lol, I've worked through that, let it go, it's in the past, nothing to continue 'holding on to'


[2:16 PM]
garbrielle yes Marlen cool point because as you stand move thorugh the layers and clear them, then it's on to solutions and you can stand as an example for the other for instance and the potential for a more intimate relationship is born through one's own self direction and forgiveness\


[2:17 PM]
carlton Hth guys will read rest later


[2:17 PM]
adam grudging things is also kind of holding onto them and keeping them


[2:17 PM]
garbrielle an example of this just happened yesterday so the point is fresh :slightly_smiling_face:


[2:17 PM]
alyson Yep randy, I can relate to that, lol


[2:17 PM]
carlton *Gtg


[2:17 PM]
marlen nice @kimk that's a cool hack there changing the relationship from holding a grudge as an impediment to get to know people, into learning from them, actually taking the point back to self to see what you could take in from the situation


[2:17 PM]
randy yes, marlen... no reason to carry that extra baggage around...


[2:17 PM]
garbrielle ah cool word play @adam


[2:18 PM]
anna I also find that getting to know people is a great way to bring it back to self @kimk - like a round about way of what @garbrielle was talking about, where I'll deliberately 'break the spell' of my reaction by getting to know people, and thereby be 'freed' up inside myself to bring the point back to self, because the projection is dropped.


[2:18 PM]
randy yes adam... grudge = Choosing to hold onto a reaction

[2:18 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes @alyson however I have also transformed them a lot so maybe I do not have them anymore. I mean there are not thought that hound me daily about this point.

[2:18 PM]
anna Grudge also kind of sounds like Judge + Grinch lol

[2:18 PM]
adam ah yes so it has a value

[2:19 PM]
marlen @garbrielle yes! that's the key word, living forgiveness in the moment, and it's like a decision, an openness that one decides to live out in that moment, and I usually also focus then on being able to look at the person in the eyes and stand clear towards them. If I see myself wanting to shift my sight away from them or not looking at them, it means there are dimensions I am still accessing of judgment, opinions, beliefs, fears etc - maybe different from 'grudge' as well, but that's a way to also 'stand open and clear' to people as a point to practice


[2:19 PM]
anna Becoming a Grudge - the Grinch-Judge, a sour green person lol

[2:19 PM]
randy hehe

[2:19 PM]
anna Cool guys - i'll focus on this point, because that's a clear, concise application that I know how to direct. And then bring point back to self.

[2:19 PM]
tormod bring everything back at self - ground it - walk through it - forgive it / everything within it - understand it (!) if it is tough - then focus on words such as "embrace" or "forgiveness" around them or do like @anna said - simulate that you walk towards them / embrace them.


[2:20 PM]
marlen lol @anna true that, another 'word play' reminder there on holding a grudge, imagining the grinch cringing and green with judgment about 'what once was' stuck in the past instead of learning to live forgiveness in the moment towards people

[2:21 PM]
garbrielle ah marlen awesome that is a big one for me, looking in the eyes, cool cross-reference for sure to see who one is and straighten out self if need be

[2:21 PM]
anna Yes @tormod I also find that very effective

[2:21 PM]
tormod "look into the eyes" - that can be challenging lol

[2:21 PM]
marlen yeah that's another cool point there @tormod sometimes we won't be able to physically interact with such people, may have passed away, we might be far away from them, so we can use imagination constructively to do that as well, in doing that 'placing the person before you' type of scenario and see what comes up as I see them, and use all things that come up to write it out/self forgive it

[2:22 PM]
randy indeed marlen... holding onto a grudge is holding onto some fragment of the past.... it has Nothing to do with This Moment...

[2:22 PM]
marlen @tormod lol yeah it is if you're not with the person physically, so that's where the way you brought up of visualizing them in front of you applies

[2:23 PM]
garbrielle yes @randy (g)drudging the past here, like a bag of heavy 'shit', weighing you down and not allowing you to flow naturally here in the moment cool point

[2:23 PM]
alyson Very cool @valentin.rozman that you have been working on these points, and yes transformed them from the subconscious to your conscious mind to work with, but I find the proof is in the pudding, when last did you spend time communicating with your dad or brother for example and be aware that you no longer have any ' resistance' when with them ?

[2:23 PM]
tormod ok @marlen yea if the person is dead/gone - it takes more walking through - patient... air it well and deeply, open up to others about it - have new perspective on the relationship


[2:23 PM]
marlen another cool reminder is that as we 'let go' of the grudge, what we create is actual freedom to 'start anew' with the person, and that's something that some people might find hard because in our minds we tend to associate 'holding a grudge ' to a sense of 'pride' which are then pointers for anyone to look out when there's this 'hard spot' to let-go of, no matter how 'big' or 'small'

[2:24 PM]
valentin.rozman Yesterday @alyson and I really do not have it anymore.

[2:24 PM]
garbrielle yes important point @marlen, thanks

[2:25 PM]
alyson Wow, @valentin.rozman , that is awesome, well done you!

[2:25 PM]
kimk I have also had someone hold a grudge against me, to this day actually it has been over ten years that I had been cut out of her life and blocked in every way. And I have changed so much and would be willing to work it through with her, but have not had any response to my attempts. So, in the end it is really a sad loss, like cutting off a part of self and not allowing any potential of what could have been.

[2:25 PM]
marlen how I've also understood this 'holding of a grudge' is in that instant moment where we kind of decide to 'load' those memories, it is a deliberate decision we do, therefore it means we can change ourselves in that moment and decide to not load our 'history' with the person in such way, but instead interact with the clean slate, no 'hidden cookies' loaded lol

[2:25 PM]
randy yes @garbrielle, like in Fidelis's animation.... ever since I first saw it, that image of dragging around that weight of the past I've found quite assisting...

[2:26 PM]
valentin.rozman Thanks @alyson :slightly_smiling_face:

[2:27 PM]
garbrielle ah yes @randy, cool imagery for sure

[2:27 PM]
marlen I've also recently walked processes of 'reconciliation' with several people, it has been quite cool, so sometimes it might be that there are mutually kept grudges, of course depends on who the person is and how close or far away they are in your life, but to me it was healthy to establish contact with them again and live the point of reconciliation, where I asked forgiveness and explained myself where I needed to and in that opened up a door for communication. Some will take the words in, some may not, but to me it was cool to do it


[2:28 PM]
randy very cool marlen

[2:28 PM]
tormod Oboy yea I have had some fears of that @kimk and some are like that now... not to close but today they (a few people from drugs/drama) still hold against me my old life of drugs/drama.. sad really that people cant see that change is (or can be ) good !

[2:28 PM]
marlen right @randy that's a similar thing that we do with every single relationship we've held as 'a fuckup' or 'bad breakup' or whatever else... but sometimes they don't go as far, it can be some kind of 'sour' moment recently with anyone

[2:29 PM]
I find it funny how we learn this kind of behavior while being kids where holding on to a grudge is perceived as some kind of honor, pride, 'defending oneself,' so debunking these bubbles in human interaction are definitely supportive to also in that be an example to kids of how there's no point in holding on to grudges

[2:30 PM]
randy yeah, tormod... that kind of stuff will take time... you aren't that person anymore.... so, continue to show by your example who you are now

[2:30 PM]
garbrielle very cool @marlen

[2:30 PM]
alyson That is a tricky one @kimk , cool you have made an attempt, sometimes perseverance pays off, other times it's making peace with moving on and letting go

[2:31 PM]
marlen @kimk I had the same with a friend, I approached her again by recognizing how much of an ass I was at the time, because I was, and explain what had happened in my life that led me to react in a certain way, so being open to her about it led her to understand, I cannot tell if she has 'forgiven' but in that sense, I did have to walk through the 'beating around the bush' to do it for quite some time, it was much easier to do than just thinking about it for some time

[2:32 PM]
so yeah, it will depend on the person, the relationship, where each one is at in their lives, but I found it cool to at least give it a try and not be caught up in the fear of 'what ifs' because what is there to lose?

[2:32 PM]
kimk Yes @alyson, still feeling sad about it to this day, so maybe another attempt is due, using Marlen's example of asking forgiveness and reconcilliation

[2:32 PM]
tormod some make their whole lives up by knitting these tight woven relation-webs of energies and what-not... along polarity/blame/culture/popularity games and plays... just energies and not life - but HEY - I am the one seeing this so again - my RESPONSE - ABILITY to work through it ... (i needed that lol)


[2:33 PM]
marlen yeah for example there tormod that's another way of looking at grudge, holding a grudge towards all of those constructs, so not necessarily a person in itself, so then yep, another way of spotting what am I still grinching about and work on it

[2:33 PM]
tormod gudging the grudge....


[2:33 PM]
anna Oh year @kimk I've also had someone keep a grudge towards me that completely surprised me

[2:34 PM]
Oh and yes, I do in fact hold grudge to myself as well....

[2:34 PM]
marlen how does that work anna? or how do you experience it

[2:34 PM]
anna Well it is the same basically, as holding onto a grudge towards someone else

[2:35 PM]
Like when a certain area of life pops up or memories are activated, I can go: "Oh yeah, that was bad"

[2:35 PM]
marlen is it like being resentful or angry at yourself for doing or not doing something or how does it come through? ah I see like guilt? remorse, etc

[2:35 PM]
anna But like I said in the beginning, I see the point is simply a matter of holding onto reactions

[2:36 PM]
Like having a book with all the bad things I've ever done @marlen that I then beat myself over the head with lol

[2:36 PM]
garbrielle yes i have had that two, well not a grudge per se, but taking the person personal in ways of not thinking they liked me or whatever, and over time by initiating conversations and keeping consistent with my own action towards them, where i did want to give up and go into my own grudge toward them....i moved through that and now we have a really cool relationship that is growing as she is more and more opening up to the message i share and how i've lived and such and we learn from each other as well so it's cool

[2:36 PM]
marlen ok so that's a cool one to look at, what can be done in those moments where these memory pop ups come up in order to 'hook' us into such reactions such as grudges, guilt, etc. what can you practically remind yourself of in those moments

[2:36 PM]
anna I've gotten a lot better with it though - so it's something I've been working on

[2:36 PM]
randy at a class reunion a few years back, I ran into a guy that I didn't associate with very much in high school... turns out, he didn't "like" me because my older brother and his older brother got in a fight one time.... we had a good laugh about that....

[2:36 PM]
anna There you go @randy - crazy lol

[2:37 PM]
kimk lol @randy!

[2:37 PM]
adam yes randy so many things like that

[2:37 PM]
randy so, he held a familial grudge.... nothing to do with me...

[2:37 PM]
marlen nice one @garbrielle another cool example of walking through your own perceptions and keeping a grudge, pushing through and seeing what was behind the veil of these 'giving ups' towards developing a relationship with someone

[2:37 PM]
alyson Yes indeed @kimk if it still making you feel sad Marlen' s example of asking for forgiveness is a good idea, sometimes meeting up and having a physical hug and hearing things from their point of view is all that is needed, with you being at the farm for a while a physical meet up may not be possible, do you have their Skype details? Perhaps a mutual friend could assist you?

[2:37 PM]
valentin.rozman The grudge just made me remember the Grinch > http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0170016/
IMDb
How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000)
Directed by Ron Howard. With Jim Carrey, Taylor Momsen, Kelley, Jeffrey Tambor. On the outskirts of Whoville, there lives a green, revenge-seeking Grinch who plans on ruining the Christmas holiday for all of the citizens of the town. (137kB)

[2:38 PM]
kimk I found her on FB recently actually @alyson, so there is a way!

[2:38 PM]
valentin.rozman Anyone watched it?

[2:38 PM]
marlen oh lol @randy I got that this wednesday that I went to mexico city to my school! good reminder, my friend - the one I was with - had told me that his ex-gf didn't like me, hated my guts lol and what happened? we end up meeting her that day in one moment, and it was in that instant that this thought of 'hey she hates your guts' came up and what did I do, simply swiped it aside and walked forgiveness, treated her as usual

[2:38 PM]
alyson Lol Valentin!

[2:38 PM]
anna lol @valentin.rozman we were talking about this 5 minutes ago if you read above

[2:39 PM]
marlen @kimk yeah I did it through fb lol

[2:39 PM]
valentin.rozman How much Grinch has been holding the Grudge :slightly_smiling_face:

[2:39 PM]
randy cool marlen

[2:39 PM]
anna We have this expression in danish called "walking into people with wodden shoes on" lol - and it is basically a person who won't take no for an answer, in terms of if people don't like them, they'll endear them until they do. And that's something I've been quite good at in my life and that I find can be a supportive quality to have lol

[2:39 PM]
garbrielle i have this saying that actually Sunette supported me with at the farm, and i say to myself 'do i want to be the I of life or the eye of mind' allowing the mind to take over and cause a fuck up or be the life that i am and create solutions what is best....and i move on that....i do this with any movement that i can feel internally where i am becoming out of balance so to say, it's a nice reminder to get me back into my physical/self and my purpose with this life

[2:40 PM]
anna Very cool @garbrielle

[2:40 PM]
valentin.rozman Sorry @anna I was away for couple of minutes. Obviously the telepathy worked.

[2:40 PM]
marlen how so @anna does that mean that you perceive that some people don't like you or that you don't like people initially but persevere in getting to know them or both ways?

[2:40 PM]
randy cool @garbrielle

[2:40 PM]
anna Both @marlen

[2:41 PM]
marlen cool hack @garbrielle thanks for sharing it

[2:41 PM]
kimk Yes, that is a good one @garbrielle

[2:41 PM]
tormod is the grinch yourself in disguise @valentin.rozman? is this your ego hiding/showing this :wink:

[2:41 PM]
anna But the expression refers to walking into people's hearts whether they like it or not lol @marlen

[2:41 PM]
alyson There you go @kimk , if you make a point of messaging her with some carefully chosen words and show an interest in her life, ask her some general questions and express that you feel sad. As long as she knows you are not wanting to blame her snd choose to ask for forgiveness, will be quite a cool approach

[2:42 PM]
kimk Yes, for sure, a humbling one as well!

[2:42 PM]
anna Like if people show directly that they don't like me, I can be very persistent lol - but not always. There may be situations where I've gotten triggered and retreat, but it is a clear experience of self-diminishment because I accept that I am less than

[2:42 PM]
marlen ah interesting, I find there's also a fine line between coming at people with too much 'energy' just like that interview in relationship success support series about work interactions and how the woman is interpreted as 'flirting' for example when in fact the person is coming through with fears, insecurities, therefore coming through as too expressive so to speak, but doing so through energy, which I've noticed in my case can also be coming from a desire to be liked, accepted, and that's something to be aware of in my case, to ensure the expression is clear without any hidden agendas or fear or desire for acceptance - maybe a bit deviating from topic but, useful to look at as well

[2:43 PM]
anna Yes for sure - that would be the dark side of that

[2:43 PM]
kimk The woman was me lol!

[2:43 PM]
randy lol kimk

[2:43 PM]
alyson Very cool sharing, thanks Garb, the I of life and not the mind!

[2:44 PM]
marlen yeah in that case we cannot ever control how others see us, perceive us, but we can only make sure we stand clear towards them - and in that then not holding grudges or hidden fears/desires in our interaction towards others, it simplifies things a lot, because there's no pretense in that or 'character to uphold'

[2:44 PM]
lol has anyone had that experience where you meet someone and there's that instant where you kind of insta-browse your 'file' of the person to see 'how you are standing with the person'?

[2:44 PM]
anna Oh yes for sure

[2:44 PM]
valentin.rozman @tormod it was just a word association (similar sounding) that reminded me on that movie.

[2:45 PM]
marlen kind of like checking 'am I on good terms, bad terms, so-so terms with this person, do I owe them something? lol - it's quite funny these are all the moments where in the past before process I'd pull up each personality according to the person and situation - so with walking process then one doesn't have to do so much 'personality management' or 'grudge-filing' because one processes it all so that one can be constant in whoever's presence or in whichever situation - of course there will be new people, new situation, and so processing never ends in that regard, we go expanding it

[2:45 PM]
anna Ys

[2:46 PM]
marlen so @kimk it wasn't another person but you? - mind twisting end of story here - lol?

[2:46 PM]
randy yes marlen... figured that must be standing ok cause she was still talking to me.... (which was kind of surprising in itself...) lol

[2:47 PM]
adam marlen yes that going through the ledgers thing - interesting because there is where some non payment stands out and a grudge can be formed

[2:47 PM]
marlen yeah exactly @randy and that's where we kind of realize huh it's possible, so, embrace it and join into that 'letting go' of the past.

[2:47 PM]
adam lol

[2:47 PM]
anna Yeah I'm also not following @kimk lol

[2:47 PM]
Are you speaking in meta-terms lol?

[2:47 PM]
"She was me, I was her, we were one"?

[2:47 PM]
kimk No, lol, the case study in the interview in relationship success support series was something I had opened up with sunette. So, the woman in the case studay was me

[2:48 PM]
anna ahhhh

[2:48 PM]
marlen lol @adam exactly, it's like mind accounting that we keep, and check our 'balance' with others... so yep, clearing our debts and 'IOU's' within ourselves and towards others is quite a supportive thing to do - here of course metaphorically speaking in terms of grudges, blame, guilt etc.

[2:48 PM]
Ah @kimk got it, thanks for the clarification, I was like wow that's a cool mind-twisting way of telling a case, thought of the one with your past friend with the grudge and that woman being you lol

[2:49 PM]
kimk lol, no, I am maybe not that cunning lol!

[2:49 PM]
marlen that was a supportive one @kimk I realized then the responsibility there is to ensure I am not 'sending out wavelengths' of energy as expression due to certain fear, insecurity or whatever other 'desire' and in that create a clear expression towards others, so as to not be 'misunderstood' in that


[2:49 PM]
alyson Wow @anna , I like your description of the Danish expression of ' walking into people with wooden shoes on" that is the awesome thing about so many of us bringing in different cultures, so cool we can share the best of each other's traditions!


[2:50 PM]
marlen @kimk who knows! you can still one day share something like that with that 'twist' in the end :wink:


[2:50 PM]
anna I'd actually expand it to "walking into people's HEARTS with wodden shoes" @alyson lol -cause that's kind of what it means, that you burst the doors to their heart open so to speak.


[2:51 PM]
kimk Yes, because if you are clear then it is way easier to clear up misconceptions with the person, instead of an awkward relationship that drags on for over a year cause I didn't understand my responsibility within it


[2:51 PM]
adam yes anna thanks for that - interesting expression


[2:51 PM]
alyson Yes @anna very cool, it's all about the heart connection in relationships for sure!


[2:52 PM]
marlen yeah definitely, again self-honesty as the key to clear up ourselves in relationship to others, regardless of how others 'see us' then because we understand these dimensions in the mind, it also becomes a point of responsibility to be clear, frank, direct towards others, so as to 'leave things clear' which also eases up many things in human interactions


[2:52 PM]
randy well said, marlen


[2:52 PM]
anna The wodden shoes reference kind of subtly means that it is a person that's being quite 'rough' cause wooden shoes are big and heavy lol


[2:52 PM]
Agree

[2:53 PM]
tormod thanks all.... my bed needs me :wink: ! good night

[2:53 PM]
anna I wrote long SF's and sent to people from my past as well

[2:53 PM]
marlen yeah I kind of imagined them as torturous @anna lol so now I get the picture

[2:53 PM]
randy good night tormod

[2:53 PM]
anna That was very supportive for me and I got some cool answers

[2:53 PM]
marlen night @tormod

[2:53 PM]
anna lol yea it is an expression of endearment actually even though it sounds painful

[2:54 PM]
randy well... it's "into" their hearts, not Onto

[2:54 PM]
anna Yes so it is meta


[2:54 PM]
marlen lol, let's not take the saying literally otherwise it looks awful of course haha


[2:54 PM]
anna lol


[2:54 PM]
randy hahaha


[2:54 PM]
alyson Yep well said Marlen " it's our responsibility to be clear, frank and direct towards others". I see that if there is no emotion attached to being direct, then it is ok, only if annoyance or irritation is attached then for people react!


[2:54 PM]
marlen ok guys, any last words, supportive points of life access in these situations?


[2:55 PM]
adam the clogs - kind of too real for all these niceties to hold up against


[2:55 PM]
marlen yeah @alyson exactly, we know if we are 'shooting a gun' or if we are speaking/expressing ourselves


[2:55 PM]
randy indeed adam


[2:55 PM]
marlen wow clog = wooden shoe and obstacle!


[2:56 PM]
alyson Cool chat, thanks Anna for the topic, and all who have shared here :-)


[2:56 PM]
anna Sure thing


[2:56 PM]
marlen yep agreed, thanks anna for bringing up these point, many dimensions opened up here from it


[2:56 PM]
randy yep, very cool chat. Thanks Anna, and All...


[2:56 PM]
marlen so! thanks for sharing guys and see you around


[2:57 PM]
anna Bye!


[2:57 PM]
kimk Yes - Walking through a grudge is a process of humility regardless of which end of it you are on, but reconciliation is worth it as taking back a part of yourself and turning it into a process of realizing your potential, within yourself and with another



[2:57 PM]
randy bye all.


[2:57 PM]
kimk Those are my last words


[2:57 PM]
Thanks all!


[2:57 PM]
randy cool kimk


[2:57 PM]
adam thanks kimk


[2:57 PM]
kimk Bye everyone! :slightly_smiling_face:


new messages
[2:57 PM]
valentin.rozman Thanks all and bye :slightly_smiling_face:



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