Preference vs. Emotional Comparison - 10 November 2017

Marlen
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Preference vs. Emotional Comparison - 10 November 2017

Postby Marlen » 10 Nov 2017, 22:01

[12:55 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: Preference vs. Emotional Comparison: when am I reacting to tastes / sensations without giving it a real chance and when is it a part of my self expression - we start 5 after the hour


[1:01 PM]
valentin.rozman Hi all :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:03 PM]
kimk hi


[1:04 PM]
randy howdy peeps


[1:04 PM]
ida hi hi


[1:04 PM]
sylvie Hi


[1:06 PM]
leilazm this is a cool topic, cause I often see how it is easy to compromise by saying that 'it's all okay' or 'whatever' when someone asks a question, believing that stating a preference makes you somehow 'limited'



[1:06 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: Preference vs. Emotional Comparison: when am I reacting to tastes / sensations without giving it a real chance and when is it a part of my self expression - WE START


[1:06 PM]
sunettedimensions Good evening all

[1:06 PM]
kims Hi


[1:07 PM]
tormod hey all


[1:07 PM]
sunettedimensions Let's explore and share the difference between preference and emotional comparison / instant judgment without giving something / someone a chance - but, we'll first start with tastes, foods, drinks etc.


[1:09 PM]
Let's say there's different herbal teas - and you've always only stuck to one kind, like chamomile and a couple others, but never thought to expand / explore cause you've just always only liked those handful. Someone gives you a sip of a different herbal tea. Now! Here's the defining moment - where the difference in experience can happen:

[1:10 PM]
the MOMENT you KNOW you are already going to be trying something DIFFERENT, other than what you KNOW AND LIKE - that moment you in yourself already bring up and keep in MIND / at the back of your mind all your likes / what you know- you TASTE the new herbal tea and tend to go into REACTION


[1:10 PM]
like, already having a grimace / response to what you are going to think / know and experience in the taste - lol even before you really, unconditionally have given it a chance and so yourself in it too :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:11 PM]
I have learned I may not immediately like something, so I try it a few more time and check / clear myself - meaning: I interestingly enough found that my likes / what I know interfere in my mind and body and then I already taste with comparison in mind


[1:11 PM]
instead of it just being me with the taste and how my BODY experiences it too!!!

[1:12 PM]
Like, it's interesting that when you explore a different taste OTHER THAN what you KNOW and LIKE - and you react even more trying, you put your mind and EXPERIENCE / FEELING first, above considering the body too!


[1:13 PM]
So, I will a few times taste something new if I can, walk the points inside myself AND assess what my body does and how it responds


[1:13 PM]
tormod I think a clue here is to leave head/mind and comparison - be and focus on the body - slow down and be grounded but flexible and try new things. to not fear things that are new - that does no harm.


[1:14 PM]
randy agreed tomod


[1:14 PM]
sunettedimensions Even then, I know - okay, I will drink this if it's there, BUT if there's is a choice - I will choose the chamomile for example, so at least now you honestly know within yourself you have given yourself and something else a go AND learned something new about yourself


[1:14 PM]
randy tormod


[1:14 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes @tormod that's the key - however, the application is challenging sometimes and does take time

[1:14 PM]
So! Who can relate to the above?

[1:14 PM]
Do share your experiences!!!

[1:14 PM]
ida me

[1:15 PM]
sunettedimensions What you have learned from it, how you see it now, how you explore and experience different things etc.!

[1:16 PM]
valentin.rozman This was also exactly the case with me when someone gifted me with a small paper bag of herbal tea. Firstly I prefer to prepare my tea using filter bags and making tea that is not packed in filter bags is already a resistance. Then that tea had a unusual name and I did not know how it would taste. So I have put it on a shelf and it stayed there for months. Until recently when I noticed that I had a lot of tea bags that I have not used for months, even years and I decided to do a cleanup. So I stopped buying new tea in a filter bags from my local store and decided to firstly use all old teas that I had on stock. I was pleasantly surprised how good the tea that I avoided was and wished that I would prepare it sooner.


[1:16 PM]
tormod I can relate and find myself in this that quick smart kitchen talk like "would you like a cup of tea with a quickness" - questions where one feels obligated to follow the same quick paste and energy drive... leading to a compromize of energy/comparison/friction


[1:16 PM]
leilazm I had this with nettle tea lol. Where I let it steep for many hours and became this really 'green' drink which I immediately compared to drinking other green drinks like wheatgrass and what now which I didnt like. Where I immediately made a grimace and without tasting already pinched my nose close so I wouldnt have to taste it. And it did taste quite 'green' but as I was drinking it I realised it was different and that my body was also responding to it completely different


[1:17 PM]
marlen tasting entirely new foods that might had an 'odd' appearance for example as an initial judgment and containing some kind of meal I would not usually eat, and in that moment simply taking 'a leap' into tasting something new, because how can I know what I would like if I don't even give it a try, so it feels almost like jumping into a pool and seeing how it's like and then from there assessing ah yes I liked it or not, but it's cool to not go into projections or expectations

[1:17 PM]
tormod I learn to t-a-l-k slower !!


[1:17 PM]
joekou i have trouble eating 'cakes'. particularly chocolatey ones. when somebody makes a chocolate anything, i go 'blech'

[1:18 PM]
sunettedimensions Interesting @valentin.rozman - cool share. Yes, it is so within our own processes when we allow resistance and reaction: we prevent ourselves from exploring hidden treasures within ourselves, others and life

[1:18 PM]
ida I had it with tomatoes.. I thought I was never going to like tomatoes.. but when I tasted it prepared in a different way than I am used too (with your pesto pasta at the farm @sunettedimensions) and liked it very much which made me opened up more to them where I now see that I like them, especially if they are similarly cooked.. but it also made me like them more in other forms


[1:18 PM]
talamon I recently had a russian fish salad and at first it was so overwhelming that I almost had the urge to puke, so took it slowly, by tiny spoonfuls and still not my choice but I progressed a lot not to resist it that much at the end. Maybe next time would enjoy it even. But really had to push myself, and actually MOVE myself to embrace it and say - its ok, I know what I do, take it easy, myself!



[1:18 PM]
marlen sacrilege @joekou! lolol


[1:18 PM]
garbrielle I found I am much more open to tasting new things then when i was a child, and found this in most children as well, which is an interesting observation I have seen. I tend to try it out and make a decision in that moment whether i like something or not, if someone has said something about it, i can be influenced, though i do prefer to give it a true taste and see if it is something i would enjoy. I have definitely expanded my pallet, and the initial reaction to something based on looks/smell/touch can definitely move me though through the point of pushing through that, i then get a real exploration of it and through that see if it is something that suits me.



[1:18 PM]
sunettedimensions lol interesting @leilazm! That's a nice surprise


[1:19 PM]
randy there have been few things - when it comes to food or drink - that I have prejudged based on the name/description given to it or, just being unfamiliar. But, for the most part, I'm game to try anything when it comes to food or drinks.


[1:19 PM]
kimk I had this with my first kombucha tea (fermented tea). The first one I drank I threw it out after one sip cause I thought it had gone bad. Then someone told me it was normal, it was supposed to taste that way. I was so intrigued by the product that I tried it again. I had to get used to it, but now I like it so much I actually berw my own, and have a great appreciation for the whole process involved in making it!


[1:19 PM]
marlen it's palate, garb

[1:19 PM]
joekou usualy when there is cakes or sweets made here on the farm i pass my share of it to others. sometimes i do try the sweets but overall my default is 'nah'

[1:20 PM]
randy indeed marlen... can't believe anyone could say that about Chocolate joekou

[1:20 PM]
garbrielle lol thanks Marlen, something i have to work on is my patience to check spelling

[1:20 PM]
!

[1:20 PM]
marlen nice @kimk have to pass on the recipe, I usually buy it

[1:20 PM]
sunettedimensions Interesting @ida! Yes, I have also found this with a specific cheese I and my body just didn't relate to - however!!! someone prepared the cheese in a way of quick-frying it with a specific sauce and I thoroughly enjoyed it togethger with eating with other vegetables. So, sometimes the body doesn't process foods well raw, for example


[1:20 PM]
leilazm Was also sharing with Kim earlier how I used to hate cucumbers because I had associated them with maite who liked to eat cucumbers where I had made a connection between her and the smell from memory and would get disgusted by association (back when maite and I couldnt stand each other). When i started my process I was like alright, lets tackle this cucumber because so many people rave about it. I worked through my memories diligently and would eat pieces to get over the emotional connection. I kept eating pieces and didn't like it and thought I must have missed something somewhere in my application but then i found that in the end, I don't like cucumber but not for the same reasons lol. And that just because I did my self forgiveness and releasing the emotional charge, doesn't mean something is magically going to be very tasty to my body all of a sudden!


[1:21 PM]
marlen cool example leila, yet you gave it a try

[1:21 PM]
marjo I always liked it to try new kinds of food and new tastes, it was never a problem because I learned as a child to taste everything and my father always tried everything which was new, like French cheese, in the beginning I did not like it but after a few times I liked it.

[1:21 PM]
tormod new food or drinks, slowdown and ask about the things you consume. make it into dicovery and funn

[1:21 PM]
talamon Cool, Leila, you investigated it then - I have similar with raw onion, whatever the world turns into - I just dont prefer consuming it, period.

[1:22 PM]
sunettedimensions Whoah @talamon well, says much for your character in terms of how you are able to stand through an experience and as it and stabilize in real time, very interesting

[1:22 PM]
joanajesus I had this similar experience when a friend gave me a type of beans to try and I was comparing them (in my mind) to a recipe I really like. Because these beans had a different taste I judged them as not as good as the others. Later one, I gave it an unconditional go and I enjoyed it and I have been eating this type of beans since then.


[1:22 PM]
leilazm Cause I was really quite stuck on the belief that I 'have to like it now'

[1:22 PM]
sylvie I have this fear/judgment of food and drinks in relation to house brands versus top shelf brands

[1:22 PM]
marlen actually I can relate to something quite recent. I am supposed to 'loathe' papaya, it's the one meal I cannot 'stand' at all, yet I had the opportunity to eat a new kind, at first I was like no no not going to try it, can't even stand the smell etc, but I gave it a try and it turns out I liked it! because it was a different kind of papaya, so I would have prevented me from tasting that If i had gone with my belief of I just don't eat papaya

[1:22 PM]
sunettedimensions Nice @garbrielle! How would you say this influenced your self / expression and experience when it comes to enjoyment with food?

[1:23 PM]
mattifreeman @marlen lol yep that was a perfect example

[1:23 PM]
adam something I discovered recently was in drinking exactly the same water, I had a preference for a particular tumbler, and then not having that specific glass I used another which in my mind was not as good as, but then what I discovered was how in fact I liked the way the new glass worked and it was in looking into the details of how and why I liked it, that the new glass came to be the one I chose to use. And looking at the old tumbler i realised that it had qualities that I liked, such as strong and sturdy as the visual qualities of its design, and what was it about the new glass that I liked was how my mouth and throat enjoyed the way the new glass delivered the water into my mouth, which was to do with its shape.


[1:23 PM]
marlen lol yep :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:23 PM]
randy lots of people do sylvie... when in fact many are canned by the same company just have different labels

[1:24 PM]
talamon lol, awesome @marlen

[1:24 PM]
valentin.rozman Another story is related to one of a MLM businesses that I was involved in. We were selling black coffee with infused Ganoderma Lucidus mushroom that was proven to have a very healing effects. Our approach was to invite individual friends for a coffee at our place where we would prepare our new coffee without telling them what it was in front. After they would drink the coffee we would ask them if they liked the taste of the coffee before we started to share the information about the healing benefits of our coffee. Many did not like the taste of it because in Slovenia many people stick with drinking of a Barcaffe brand which has a very specific taste. And those who were all used to drink their brand of coffee all the time did of course not like the taste. But then we also explained them that if they would drink our brand of coffee, they will equally get used to the taste after several weeks of consistent drinking and besides that their heath will also significantly improve.

[1:24 PM]
ida I also have not liked coffee much and had the idea that I will never start to drink it. So there was already a automation of

[1:24 PM]
marjo I don't like goat milk and goat cheese, tried it many times but I can't stand the smell of it.

[1:24 PM]
garbrielle i would say expansion @sunettedimensions where i more and more am expanding into different realms of food and this is also influencing my enjoyment of cooking, which I am more and more cause i realized that i am actually a decent cook and through that realization can explore a whole new world that i have yet really tapped in to!

[1:25 PM]
talamon @sunettedimensions interesting you say that, didn't looked at it like you described before, but it was a symbol of the whole culture, my relocation, change, etc I decided to engage

[1:25 PM]
marlen adam I can relate with getting 'stuck' with certain things for daily use and not giving a try to new things because of just sticking with 'what I know' so this also expands to testing out new things and not creating attachments so to speak, but rather focus on functionality

[1:25 PM]
garbrielle i am doing more and more*

[1:25 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes, as @leilazm - not at all about liking everything, remember: your being and so your uniqueness on all levels when it comes to that level and your process is integrated into the physical. Therefore, different nutritional groups will respond in various ways to your self and body throughout your life! Don't always think how things are now is how it's ALWAYS going to be - many changes can happen throughout your life


[1:25 PM]
ida .. 'no thank you' when someone would offer me it. But then I started saying yes occasionally.. ANd today I do like to have a cup every now and then, when my body asks for it or just to have a warm drink

[1:25 PM]
sunettedimensions Where there's stages and phases you prefer / don't at all certain things

[1:26 PM]
joekou this is something i'm still looking at - where part of me will have thoughts of 'i don't like chocolate? what kind of a monster am i? everyone on earth likes chocolate'

[1:26 PM]
sunettedimensions Also, very specific as to how things are prepared - the method of cooking, for example - so, so, so many things to consider and explore


[1:26 PM]
Nice @garbrielle!

[1:26 PM]
joekou but then when i do have chocolate - i don't hate or particularly dislike it - but if given the option between chocolate and say chicken soup i would take the chicken soup

[1:26 PM]
garbrielle lol Joe you may be just the cookie monster

[1:27 PM]
mattifreeman ah ha - when I first went to the farm, I was surprised to see that everyone was drinking Nescafe instant coffee - which is something I'd never tried, and prejudged it as not good / can't possibly like that because it's inferior 'instant' coffee crystals, lol. But I gave it a shot and ended up enjoying it a lot actually, just as a different kind of coffee. I especially enjoyed how easy it was to adjust the strength because you can just add more to your cup and stir it in lol


[1:27 PM]
marlen yeah then that's simply what your body likes then @joekou and yep it's more of an idea that everyone likes chocolate, there you are in how you'd prefer something else

[1:27 PM]
sunettedimensions Nice @adam that's a very cool example with the tumbler!

[1:27 PM]
tormod The last 6 months or so.. i have developed more communication with my body - and it will lett me know if there is something on my plate it does not want atm ! I find this communication very fasinating


[1:27 PM]
sunettedimensions Great @tormod!

[1:28 PM]
Me, with sushi for example


[1:28 PM]
I didn't like it for YEARS, but still lol there was a part of me that knew it's something I can develop a relationship with

[1:28 PM]
So, throughout the years, every year, I'd give it a go a few times


[1:28 PM]
garbrielle with chocolate i find i go in waves, where my body really enjoys it and i indulge and then i have had enough and will let it go for a while, this happens with many foods really, and i see it's about the body on a physical level directing the food intake it is needing


[1:29 PM]
mattifreeman also I learned in SA that meat and eggs breakfasts area quite nice and my body does well with them. I'd been raised on a more 'healthy' diet and rarely would have like bacon and eggs for breakfast unless on special occasions in restaurants.


[1:29 PM]
sunettedimensions and every year, my and body's response was the same: just repulsed by it. Obviously worked through some memories tied to it throughout the years - so, together with that and a specific moment where I tried it again this past year: everything came together and I am well on my way exploring the world of sushi


[1:30 PM]
joekou i think a lot of this can also be influenced by tradition and culture - for me i find that as an 'asian' person i have developed a wider palette for food textures and things.

[1:30 PM]
garbrielle cool Sunette

[1:30 PM]
tormod I have been restrictive to suggar - however my body letts me know, later, that it handless suggar quite well - so that in mind i can taste cake and chocolate

[1:30 PM]
sunettedimensions I have already got a just of what Sushi me / body is stable with at the time, so it's been fasctinating and will share in videos to come walking this process throughout the years


[1:30 PM]
joekou @sunettedimensions we must find some legit sushi sometime

[1:30 PM]
marlen there are also some things that people are used to eating by cultural association, like there's this cheesy substance in sweden, man, I'd see viktor eating that and I gave it a try but it was just a no go and could not 'fathom' how people like it, so that's that but I tried


[1:30 PM]
mattifreeman I learned a lot about what I like / don't like in terms of how my body responds to it by saying 'okay I'm going to eat what everyone else is eating and throw out my knowledge of what's apparently 'best' and 'bad'

[1:31 PM]
sunettedimensions indeed @joekou;)

[1:31 PM]
you did @marlen and that's what matters!

[1:32 PM]
marlen yep can relate to that also with all the notions about 'fat being bad' and then realizing, nope actually it's quite necessary and so developing more of a taste for fats, starting with including more eggs than before @mattifreeman though would still have to develop a taste for the actual animal fat lol

[1:32 PM]
ah yes and chicken broth, man, I would not 'stand it' before and then one day I got sick in the stomach, and that's what I actually ate and it was delicious, it was one of the first times I became aware of 'what my body liked' in those moments

[1:32 PM]
sunettedimensions So, everyone - most important thing here is that it's another area in everyday life you can ADD VALUE to your PROCESS of self AWARENESS when it comes to every moment that is an extension and reflection of you. Do keep an inner eye out for the moments of opportunity where you can expand your experiences and processes inside yourself through something and simple as foodies / drinks etc

[1:32 PM]
NOW - let's expand this to people...

[1:32 PM]
randy same here @sunettedimensions with sushi.... I don't know it's the idea of eating raw fish or what... would still try it on occasion but, most of the time not... when visiting leah, my daughter, a few months back, she took me to a nice Japaneze restaurant.... I tried some that she ordered and, it really was quite good.... Everywhere we went, she wanted me to order soemthing I had never had before, and I did, and enjoyed every meal.

[1:33 PM]
sunettedimensions Nice @randy

[1:33 PM]
garbrielle Yes I went on a date with an Indian guy and we got indian food, he was like oh you are going to love this food, it is my favorite, talking it way up cause i never had it, and he orders all this food for me, these heavy cheese pieces, and i was like no....i do not like this, he was so surprised, i did try it though and made an effort

[1:33 PM]
joekou cool @randy

[1:33 PM]
marlen yep that's the way @randy hehe

[1:33 PM]
sunettedimensions I actually have a similar story as you, where it was with my father at a restaurant for the first time with sushi where it started this past year

[1:34 PM]
So, when it comes to people

[1:34 PM]
ida I also had this with clothes.. I used to be so stuck up on wearing particular clothing to go with my then personality... I thought other clothes were just to ugly or ´normal´. But then I started testing and found that I was much more comfortable in other types of clothing. So i was definitely only listening to my mind and not so much to my body, I would walk around in very uncomfortable clothes, tight dresses and high heals.. and thinking I was fine, and ignoring the back pains and strains and the over all stance just to fit into this idea I had to live up to. It created a overall instability inside, even though it felt like it made me more confident on a surface level. Then with testing other clothes I can have a hard time with anything that is not as comfortable.


[1:34 PM]
kims I have started to really apply myself to when I am preparing food, to push myself to be present with and appreciate it - where as before I would judge myself for eating meat, now I take my time and make it a part of me and thank it for being here for me

[1:34 PM]
sunettedimensions how would everyone say preference / emotional comparison plays a role?

[1:34 PM]
kimk I had kind of a reverse experience, where I was making some eggs from the farm for breakfast, and I cracked one without checking it first, and a little semi-formed baby, dead and rotting started cooking in my pan. I was gagging but maite was there to stabilize me. The next day I went to make eggs again, and I had a wave of repulsion, and decided on something else.

[1:34 PM]
marlen @garbrielle can relate, I've tasted those indian spicy foods - thanks to @andrearossouw there lol - and definitely would not give it a go again because of the spices, but! maybe if there's a milder version of the stuff I can in the future give it a try

[1:34 PM]
valentin.rozman @sunettedimensions I recently watch a movie about the sushi and you might like it as well > https://youtu.be/XaMo7qN-OMg
YouTube East Side Sushi Film
East Side Sushi Trailer #1


[1:35 PM]
talamon I never tried sushi, Moscow has millions of cheap and quality sushi places, will try - just raw fish...once I was in a fishing village in Cambodia and that smell made me not to eat fish for 2 years...now I eat cooked-fried at least

[1:35 PM]
ingrids lol @randy I love this taste of the raw salmon in the sushi

[1:35 PM]
sunettedimensions So, with people

[1:35 PM]
joekou there are some 'archetypes' of people that i will prejudge and decide i will not get along with or be able to work with

[1:35 PM]
tormod to people lol wooooww... that sounds deep to me at first @sunettedimensions....ahh

[1:35 PM]
marlen cool @ida! nice example

[1:35 PM]
sunettedimensions Nice @joekou that's a dimension to start with

[1:36 PM]
marlen yep @joekou wrote a blog about that yesterday, and how we trap ourselves with 'preference' of 'relating to particular kinds of people' only

[1:36 PM]
sunettedimensions We tend to judge, for example, something we like / prefer working with and when we meet a challenge - we tend to either react or immediately want to replace them, Instead of seeing potential and developing a way of communicating and interacting that works for both

[1:36 PM]
joekou also with people sometimes those preferences shift - say a 'rift' occurs in the friendship or relationship - suddenly that person and all people in that archetype are no longer on my 'good' list

[1:36 PM]
valentin.rozman In regards to sushi @sunettedimensions I learned that one can use many ingredients. However I have also heard stories how people who ate sushi with fresh fish got infested with worms extensively. So I am not very comfortable with eating fresh fish sushi because I fear the same infection also for myself.

[1:37 PM]
tormod I live in a village with 25 others ....so to live the word "embrace" is my everyday chore. and it is really rewarding to see that detail of the people that I "make" the most "difficult" are truly my greatest teachers


[1:37 PM]
marlen it's definitely like with food, where we don't know what we are missing until we give ourselves a chance and drop (work with/through) our prejudices and expand our horizons with actually getting along with people, it is the same experience as in taking a leap and diving into the unknown with opening up with a person


[1:37 PM]
sunettedimensions this was a hard lesson for me to learn to, with reflecting on, in my past, how many people I immediately defined based on their own past patterns / only a few times being in their presence, BUT took ONE PERSON to believe in them, give them a chance, take the time to walk with them and they became extraordinary

[1:37 PM]
joekou yes - i find i either will want to win or have my way or kind of 'fight' them about it, or will just want to work with someone else

[1:38 PM]
garbrielle I have to go, but will give insight tonight cause definitely have walked this point...thanks all, bye

[1:38 PM]
tormod cheers garb!

[1:38 PM]
ingrids I have walked a whole relationship in the past with someone I did not prefer emotionally and physically, after walking with someone I really preferred and it has learned me so much about the possibilities and I remember myself dropping in one moment the physical resistance by decision - I don't say that my starting-point was clear in that time, however walking it into the best possible has supported me a lot in that time


[1:39 PM]
randy cool ingrids

[1:39 PM]
that you made a Decision

[1:39 PM]
sunettedimensions Or, we don't even dare start a relationship / connection with a person simply because we define them based on the past / how they are currently - we seldom take a step back and go ökay, for a moment drop everything I see I am judging and reacting to, what are the QUALITIES in this person that is there that I can work with and develop and actually get to know! how can I share this with the person, tell them about the qualities you notice and see how both can work together to grow / mature in them and so create a cool relationship


[1:39 PM]
valentin.rozman In the movie East Side Sushi @sunettedimensions the major point is bias that non-Japanese can not make good sushi. Owners of the sushi restaurants did not want a Mexican chef because it would ruin the perception of the people who have come to the restaurant for the original experience of Japan cuisine.

[1:40 PM]
sunettedimensions so, there is also a solution in terms of how we tend to approach others and how to develop relationships with others we tend to initially judge / react to, as we tend to focus only on the BAD / NEGATIVE and not the POTENTIAL / QUALITIES that can become something with a little support


[1:40 PM]
marlen yep I can relate @ingrids where in denying preferences I thought I had to 'challenge myself' in the most extreme ways with not preferring to be with a particular 'type of person,' yet ultimately beyond preference, it turned out that in terms of principles it wasn't going to work, so, that's where I realize that it's not 'bad' or 'of the mind' to have a preference towards a particular type/kind of person with 'similar interests' in a relationship

[1:42 PM]
yep there's so much to reflect on when we look back at ourselves to see why we 'react' to a particular person or 'avoid' them, that when walking through it, it opens up a new dimension of ourselves that we would not have known 'is there' if we had remained in the prejudice as well


[1:42 PM]
ida There is one person in particular that pops up where this was the most prominent.. I started a new work and there was a guy there.. he was a type (stereotype) that was someone that I would usually not at all be able to relate to. like I would never ever have started a conversation with him if it was not for us working together. I judged him on so many levels as all sorts of things and I also felt like he did the same with me, which in a way wanted me to go even more against him in my mind. As the days went I just could not ignore what I was doing, and saw that I was potentially just creating a very uncomfortable relationship with him like this.. So I decided to observe him unconditionally.. I looked at who he was with the kids we were working with, letting go of my lenses that were hazing my vision. And awe and wonder he was not at all how I thought he was, and it came through so well in who he was with the kids. How he enjoyed himself with them. I really learned a lot from this guy and who he was with the kids and we ended up having some awesome conversations where I could see our walls cracking and falling down. He is someone that I truly can say that I came to appreciate. Which I never would have thought at first handshake!! lol


[1:42 PM]
tormod i agree 101 % @sunettedimensions

[1:43 PM]
valentin.rozman Cool realization @ida

[1:44 PM]
randy so cool ida

[1:44 PM]
ingrids yes @marlen I can very much relate to that starting-point you describe

[1:44 PM]
marlen cool ida! can relate to that as well with having gone from 'hate' to well appreciation for another during highschool years, same deal, because of prejudices formed towards 'the type of person' he was, it was a great example to me to see what opens up if letting go of prejudices over years


[1:44 PM]
tormod indeed such opening ups are awesome @ida

[1:45 PM]
kimk I pushed myself to get to know a man whose appearance I found shocking, and that was someone I would normally stay away from and be scared if I saw him in the street. But because of my prejudice and judgment, I told myself that I should instead get to know him. I ended up learning more from him than most people I have known for years! So it was a really pleasant surprise, it also helped me get over a deep racism I was not even aware I had.


[1:45 PM]
marlen @ingrids yep can be good material for a blog with this point of preference and how in an attempt to 'challenge' preference in a rather forced manner, we can compromise ourselves as well, based on the belief that 'I have to be ok with it!' type of thing

[1:47 PM]
tormod In deed good point @marlen blog on the relationship opening up proving to be a gift/reward

[1:47 PM]
sunettedimensions Awesome share @ida


[1:47 PM]
adam there's something about another being turning up with something to offer that you need, but the reason you need it is because you've got used to pushing that thing away - so that there on the surface is going to be a conflict


[1:48 PM]
ingrids ah yes @marlen - a bit sensitive topic to now publish something with using this example in a blog for myself but perhaps in the future - or it must be very general

[1:48 PM]
marlen hmm it's more like being able to acknowledge preference in that sense @tormod as in compatibility, what one wants to create in a relationship, rather than taking an 'opposite extreme' as a way to 'challenge myself' and kind of believe that I must be 'ok' with it because preference is 'of the mind' type of thing, so that's the point to share about

[1:49 PM]
sunettedimensions So, within this - we do first and foremost reflect on self in moments of prejudging / reacting to someone without giving them the space and time. To then look into the qualities that show and find a way to work with them / communicate the person to work on them together. Accept the challenge the person / life brings and see what you can learn from it.


[1:49 PM]
marlen yep giving it a try though is cool, lots learned from that for sure

[1:50 PM]
sunettedimensions Agreed @adam

[1:50 PM]
randy I don't remember the recording, maybe in the back to basics series, where the point was made that Everyone we encounter/comes into our lives isthere for a reason - either for us to learn something from them or them learn something about us or, for us to learn something about ourselves.... try to keep that in mind every time I meet someone...


[1:50 PM]
sunettedimensions Nice @randy

[1:50 PM]
randy *them to learn something "from" us

[1:50 PM]
tormod I don't understand what you said @marlen to me it could be a cool blog on how i learned from the people who where the most challanging

[1:52 PM]
marlen yep that can be another topic too

[1:53 PM]
ida Its like this is harder when it is someone closer to you in all of the small moments that are more hidden and were you have the idea of something to loose.. while with a stranger it is more obvious in a way and you have nothing to loose in a way because they are not close to you @sunettedimensions perspective?

[1:53 PM]
sunettedimensions Which one @marlen

[1:54 PM]
Ahhh yes @ida - have found that too

[1:54 PM]
@ida can you send me e-mail with the topic and I can add on interview topic list :slightly_smiling_face: thanks!


[1:54 PM]
All, thanks for meeting up this evening and participating with sharing!!!


[1:55 PM]
Always fantastic having such a presence with everyone here

[1:55 PM]
marlen how the 'most challenging people' turn out to be greatest gifts topic for blog


[1:55 PM]
sunettedimensions Keep well these days to come, until we chat again Wednesday!

[1:55 PM]
ingrids Thanks all


[1:55 PM]
valentin.rozman Thanks all and bye :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:55 PM]
sunettedimensions Ahhh yes!

[1:55 PM]
marlen bye guys!


[1:55 PM]
randy cool point @ida with those you know, you and they already have a relationship, it can be more difficult


[1:55 PM]
kimk thanks erbody! Bye!


[1:55 PM]
marjo thanks all, bye bye


[1:55 PM]
sunettedimensions Indeed @marlen Bye all!

[1:55 PM]
kims Bye all thanks


[1:56 PM]
ida yes @randy


[1:56 PM]
randy thanks everyone... sorry will have to miss again tomorrow... have to work again


[1:56 PM]
adam thanks everyoney


new messages
[1:57 PM]
talamon thanks for sharing, bye



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