When your words are taken out of context and used for another's misinterpretation – 17 November 2017

Marlen
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When your words are taken out of context and used for another's misinterpretation – 17 November 2017

Postby Marlen » 17 Nov 2017, 21:54

1:05 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: What to do when you hear what you voiced in a discussion with a person from someone else who's not in your life, who heard it from another person that's also not in your life; and the context of a sentence you spoke was misused. WE START


[1:06 PM]
randy this quote that I printed out on a banner and hung it on the wall in my dorm room in college addresses that scenario sometimes; “I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”



[1:06 PM]
sunettedimensions Many a time in my life, even up unto this day - I have faced a moment with, let's say, Person B. Who shared with me that they heard from person C who heard from Person A something I shared with them in a moment of interaction in reality. Now, with my not having Person B nor C in my everyday life and hearing from / through the grapevine what I said in addition to it being misinterpreted to such a degree where 'who I am' is reacted towards and questioned: is the dimension we're looking at here. Obviously - I have no qualms about people in my life sharing their experiences with me, the Portal - even those who has been on the farm! It's cool when you have a realization / understanding with someone / anyone and share it with another! However - what we do tend to forget


[1:06 PM]
alyson Lol @randy


[1:06 PM]
sunettedimensions lol exactly @randy


[1:09 PM]
ida hi


[1:09 PM]
tormod hi Ida !


[1:09 PM]
sunettedimensions What we tend to forget - is that if, for example, you heard something from a friend - who was in discussion with Anonymous, your friend shares what them and A talked about: you must remember you do not really know A, because you're not in their life. Nor are you really a part of your friend's life cause you may be living in different countries at the time. But, we tend to fixate on a select few things of what is said by your friend, for example. If you turn to one of your contact, for example and share what your friend said lol things can get so lost in translation - especially if you come to your contact with your friends words who heard it from A as an "authority" - yet, your contact has got NO contact with your friend, nor Anonymous


[1:09 PM]
ida hi tormod :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:10 PM]
sunettedimensions Here, we need to look at the "grapevine lost in translation effect" - especially when using another person's words / sentence in a discussion with a completely different person in a way where you use it to back you up in what you are trying to convey


[1:10 PM]
An example:


[1:11 PM]
kimk like the game 'broken telephone'


[1:11 PM]
tormod This is everyday life here in the Village


[1:12 PM]
randy lol tomod... I


[1:12 PM]
yes kimk


[1:12 PM]
sunettedimensions Once I had a discussion with Person A, who I've known for years and who has been a part of my life for years. This discussion was about levels of confidence in relationships. Then Person A shared the whole experience with Person B (not part of my nor A's life in reality) - BUT person B used selective hearing and only heard "those who walk like this / that and sound like this / that and are expressive / active in this/that way is confident". I did say that lol but the context was entirely different


[1:13 PM]
tormod It is individuality ?


[1:13 PM]
Or even personal ?

[1:13 PM]
randy I know that this is not funny, especially if Your words are the ones that have been misconstrued... it's happened to me...


[1:14 PM]
valentin.rozman Words in deed mean something completely different when taken out of context.


[1:14 PM]
leilazm Aah yes, can see this happen with interviews also where a quote is shared and a person interprets this 'their way' and then talk about it to you and you're all like, where are you getting that information from? 'From that interview' and then it turns out they didnt even listen to the whole interview but just worked with that snippet


[1:14 PM]
randy indeed @leilazm

[1:15 PM]
sunettedimensions Person B talked to Person C - meanwhile Person B started comparing all sorts of relationships, themselves and others, and asked Person C a few questions - saying that "(for example) Sunette said this / that so THEREFORE confidence is this / that" so, if you're not doing this / that then there is something the matter with your confidence. PErson C then contacts me in a state and reactions cause they think then there is something wrong with them and theoir confidence in relationships!!!


[1:15 PM]
alyson Interestingly, I have not had such an experience, when I am with friends we only discuss our own lives, not that of others, but this is probably something my teenage daughters could relate to as they go to a girls only school, however they all have fb group chats and don’t talk so much individually which is a great way to communicate as everything is spelled out and shared, the modern way now I think, and it eliminates gossip to a large extent


[1:15 PM]
sunettedimensions When, for example lol the sentence I shared was in relation to a MIND PATTERN!!!


[1:15 PM]
Not the solution!!!


[1:16 PM]
Goodness lol so - just opening this up everyone! To see who you speak to and what you say - especially if you mention other people and you use it as an authority to try prove a point!!!!!!!!!!!!!! please be aware of potential outflow consequences


[1:17 PM]
It's the combination of using another's words and speaking it as authority, trying to do your own investigation and comparison that can bring in more problems


[1:17 PM]
Yes @leilazm exactly!

[1:17 PM]
randy it's that selective listening or, as leilazm gave an example, where people only hear part of the message, then act as if they're an authority....

[1:17 PM]
sunettedimensions Or @leilazm - even worse, they didn't read the snippet, nor listen to the recording but heard it from someone else and then reacted


[1:18 PM]
Yes @randy

[1:18 PM]
So, I am sure everyone has experienced this in some way or another

[1:18 PM]
mattifreeman Oi vey

[1:18 PM]
sunettedimensions My question is:


[1:18 PM]
Who are you in such a moment?

[1:19 PM]
Is it the person's fault / is it this one problem that's the "problem"? What do we really need to look at within this all?

[1:19 PM]
randy best bet for me is to recommend a specific recording - and send a link - then suggest we talk about it after they listen to it...


[1:19 PM]
sunettedimensions @randy but if it happens in your personal life


[1:19 PM]
how'd you handle it?

[1:20 PM]
Or, how have you reacted and how have you learned to direct it within yourself?



[1:20 PM]
valentin.rozman To explain of course the full context and make sure that the message is now understood as intended.



[1:21 PM]
tormod sort of a point to understand (?)

[1:21 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @valentin.rozman

[1:21 PM]
tormod or to test out ?

[1:22 PM]
living application

[1:22 PM]
sunettedimensions So, essentially @valentin.rozman - making sure you are clear within yourself, you have clarified who you are in it all - agreed, this is also the first step I do. Share with the individual the ENTIRE context / reality and sentence and how they can correct the dimension within themselves


[1:23 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes

[1:23 PM]
sunettedimensions That is what we can do indeed in our immediate environment is what I realized



[1:23 PM]
sunettedimensions Clear the air, so to speak, with you and who you heard it all from to make sure all is stable


[1:23 PM]
randy it has @sunettedimensions, and it took a lot of explaining... I was put on the defensive because I had no idea what the person was talking about... first, a lot of questioning. What were you told I said? when did you hear that? etc...


[1:23 PM]
ida I would explain or clarify


[1:24 PM]
garbrielle yes, when something like this happens and i know the message i conveyed was not fully self honest, i get a tinge inside or like a movement realizing that i am not standing in this point, there is something off, so i will investigate further and find the point, find the solution, and go back to the person and convey the accurate info or make it as clear and direct as possible to support with all being represented in the best way possible



[1:24 PM]
talamon also sometimes I can foresee potential mental 'pitfalls' within the things I express for others - such as when mentioning self-forgiveness to clarify for instance: it's not religious, not spiritual, not scientific thing - it's something completely different approach: self-honesty


[1:24 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes @randy that has also been my initial response, but I realized those questions would be asked in reaction - like "I want to find out to know who's responsible so that I can emotionally hold something against them!!!" However -

[1:24 PM]
I have stopped myself


[1:26 PM]
sunettedimensions in those moments @randy where you want to know who's who in the grapevine, I don't - I let it go, I don't make it personal anymore. Instead - I take it on as I do now - I support myself to understand the whole pattern, design, that exist in us all and many. I come to terms with the fact that it is not something we can change overnight in humanity. I share with everyone the consequence that I myself experience through such an exposure to misused words spoken and in this: teach, show, guide



[1:26 PM]
randy well, I can be pretty calm in those kind of situations and can help another calm down as a result of my calmness...

[1:26 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes

[1:27 PM]
YEs @talamon - good to share your definition of what you are sharing, remember your context in it :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:27 PM]
It is a TOUGHIE not making it personal!!!

[1:27 PM]
kimk I can relate @garbrielle - where I can feel it when I'm saying it, so in the moment I would say something like, "wait, I'm unclear about this now, but this is how I interpreted it/this is what I am trying to say'. Cool on the follow up afterwards Garb, because my tendency was just to trust that because I gave my 'disclaimer' of: I'm not quite sure right that I am interpreting this correctly, that the person will not take it as authority, but investigate it themselves.

[1:27 PM]
randy I asked the questions trying to figure out when I said it, and the context of the remarks...

[1:28 PM]
valentin.rozman Directing yourself to understand things and to expand your awareness is always best solution, sure @sunettedimensions

[1:28 PM]
randy trying to search my memory banks in the process

[1:28 PM]
sunettedimensions lol I mean, there is a part of you that wants to go BUT WHO SAID IT!!! - yet, I know, whoever had the courage to share it with me is also in a tough situation cause they have specific relationship with people who they heard it from! Therefore, I do my best to keep it as is and not make it personal - I have tried and failed to follow the grapevine and in the end: there's so many involved, or you end up compromising relationships and all of it to NO END or purpose really

[1:28 PM]
tormod find common ground, stability points, guide, lead out of the labyrinth

[1:29 PM]
talamon Recently I've been accused that I did things by spite and revenge and it did not affect me, as realized it's not personal as the person misinterpreted events and consequences so differently, yet I have realized within my existing and accepted relationship, I decided to make it personal as being offended after all - so even if it's obviously not personal, one can 'fall' into making it

[1:29 PM]
sunettedimensions I dropped it all and just look into myself and the beings in the Portal and ask - okay guys, what pattern we dealing with here we can do a topic on to support as many as possible??? by sharing our story and experience?

[1:29 PM]
marlen what I've also found is that this is also a result of only trusting knowledge and information and placing it on an altar of 'that's how things are' and in that it becomes almost a religious statement that defines 'everything.' So, within learning how to not do this myself, how I share with others changes as well more from a personal experience and stance rather than 'it was said this/that' only

[1:30 PM]
leilazm yes cause it is pretty difficult to keep track of all your words and how others are possibly interpreting it. Since at any given moment, we only ever communicate one dimension within the context of our WHOLE LIFE that is not necessarily conveyed in that one message, but is the backdrop from which it emerged. And to constantly having to explain yourself is not sustainable. There needs to be a level of individual responsibility within each one to measure the words for themselves and realise that they are working with only ONE dimension, not with blanket statements


[1:30 PM]
sunettedimensions Well done @garbrielle yes, you sharing the correction for those who do know WHOOPSIE I fell into this / that trap again - I can take responsible and rephrase and share more context!

[1:31 PM]
marlen yeah exactly leila, making sure what we share is our own verifiable and personal experience, instead of taking 'others' words' as proof/authority or final statement, so that's where personal responsibility comes in as well

[1:31 PM]
talamon yes @leilazm and often it's enough for a person to 'slip' away based on one singular word they are being triggered to react and to just disregard all other parts of the communication

[1:32 PM]
sunettedimensions Yes @marlen the "placing knowledge and info on the altar" is an inherent design we tend to accept - like blindly believing what we see and hear from the news for example....

[1:32 PM]
Yes @leilazm which is what I also realized lol

[1:32 PM]
marlen yep we forget the self dimension in relaying or conveying anything we hear/read about without any personal reference, so def. cool point to consider as self-check every tme

[1:32 PM]
time*

[1:33 PM]
sunettedimensions I have done it where I went to each individual and explained myself - a few times when it happened until I realized WAIT, this aint gonna work!

[1:33 PM]
Every time though, I learn something new!

[1:33 PM]
New recordings and points open up to discuss and share to support many in varying ways!

[1:33 PM]
randy indeed marlen...

[1:33 PM]
sunettedimensions Thus a gift in disguise

[1:34 PM]
So, everyone - once again a proof of how our emotions tend to cloud the gift that are here through forgiveness - not making it person, but understading as per the chats we've had before when it comes to fighting - not fighting with others nor ourselves, but going into understanding and support


[1:34 PM]
randy when this does happen, what I know for sure is that this isn't the first and won't be the last time it happens...

[1:36 PM]
marlen yep it's also easier to move right into the position of understanding what is attempted to be 'backed up' with certain information and rather work with that, in a way leaving the 'what was said' aside to actually open up with the person why they would need to use this/that saying/piece of information to 'back up' something for their own interest

[1:36 PM]
leilazm and also with interviews it is quite incredible to see how far Sunette goes in clarifying and doing extra interviews cause somewhere someone misinterpreted 1 sentence. I know that if she really had to, she could explain everything into the minutest detail again and again -- but, is this really necessary?


[1:36 PM]
tormod build up - don't tear down

[1:36 PM]
randy indeed leilazm...

[1:37 PM]
marlen I've been one of those people @leilazm for sure, however this also has assisted in expanding information based on how many more could misinterpret it as well, yet all is based on the starting point of clarifying information or wanting to 'prove something' in a certain personal-interest way which is different

[1:37 PM]
randy I've listened to interviews/recordings and realized that the entire recording was a clarification of just a couple of points from a previousrecording

[1:38 PM]
leilazm she takes these things very serious and puts a lot of effort in the words she puts out there. But then its so easy to criticize one little sentence and barely doing any effort in taking ones own responsibility to establish, but wait, who am i in these words and how can I work with this?


[1:38 PM]
garbrielle I would say it is specific @leilazm and can be done as it comes up, where Sunette/portal can reference for themselves if it is relevant or not, i often have many questions in terms of portal interviews and due to the nature of i would say specifiying it is cool, some do need this though also it can go into just knowledge and information overload, so self honesty is key as well like any point out there/within self


[1:39 PM]
leilazm Yes this is one dimension I am bringing up and I am sure this is not applicable to all questions / clarifications

[1:40 PM]
sunettedimensions @leilazm yes indeed, though I will redo the questions coming through from us skipping some sentences and topics and that can confuse! So if you find we do that and it does perplex you - this I do my best to fit in and redo! You know where it's really like "scratch your head perplexion" - I do not mind clarifying in email if personal or redoing recording if we see WHOOPSIE we jumped a point


[1:40 PM]
Ahhh yes @leilazm

[1:40 PM]
garbrielle awesome @sunettedimensions, thank you!

[1:41 PM]
sunettedimensions However, such recordings are recorded and stored here in my mails - yet still, the process movement takes precedence and do do when / as a moment opens up :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:42 PM]
Alright everyone - so, if you do use another's words you heard

[1:42 PM]
Yet do not know

[1:42 PM]
Always best to share YOUR PERSONAL STORY and realization and insight

[1:43 PM]
Allow another to OPEN UP AND SHARE THEMSELVES

[1:43 PM]
You may have a definition of confidence, another may have a few more!

[1:43 PM]
Careful to be ABSOLUTE in words and experiences on a personal level


[1:43 PM]
tormod indeed I learned that from Kim lol

[1:43 PM]
talamon great insight - direct share from source of realization, self


[1:43 PM]
sunettedimensions As we always said: do not COMPARE!!! yourself, mind, life, children - anything to another!!!

[1:43 PM]
sylvie Cool

[1:44 PM]
Nope


[1:44 PM]
sunettedimensions We are all here to learn from one another



[1:44 PM]
to share our stories


[1:44 PM]
marlen yes it does simplify things when one is expressing something that one has personally walked, done, applied and shared from that starting point


[1:44 PM]
sunettedimensions to read one another's books so to speak :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:44 PM]
kimk lol #tormod - I was thinking the same

[1:44 PM]
@tormod


[1:44 PM]
sunettedimensions and see where we can be additions to one another in a moment of conversation / interaction :slightly_smiling_face:



[1:45 PM]
randy indeed @sunettedimensions


new messages
[1:46 PM]
ida yes cool


[1:48 PM]
sunettedimensions Let's see what opens up from here!

M]
We can assist / support ourselves, others through our own personal stories and experiences


[1:48 PM]
to be examples of how to take responsibility for what we share and speak


new messages
[1:48 PM]
Make sure we are clear in what we say to another


[1:49 PM]
Do not use it for our own interest, or compare people against one another


[1:49 PM]
But share a story and learn from ourselves and others!


[1:50 PM]
Be open! Flexible, yet remain within the principle of self honesty


[1:50 PM]
when learning / hearing from others


[1:50 PM]
valentin.rozman Sharing is caring :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:50 PM]
sunettedimensions @ida look out for the Self and Living video I did

on a question you asked in a previous chat


[1:51 PM]
regarding fearing to be as direct with your partner

as with work colleagues


[1:51 PM]
ida ok what is it called?

sunettedimensions because of fear of loss coming up


[1:51 PM]
I will let you know!

Still to be uploaded!


[1:51 PM]
ida oh ok

sunettedimensions Thanks all for being here!

1:52 PM]
randy another dimension to this is to take responsibility for what you hear that "someone else" said... do your own investigation before going into reaction


[1:52 PM]
kimk Thanks everyone!


[1:52 PM]
sunettedimensions Have a look at where this dimension can be corrected / aligned within self


[1:52 PM]
in communication and interaction with others

1:53 PM]
Good night all from SA


[1:53 PM]
We speak again :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:53 PM]
randy Thanks all...


[1:53 PM]
adam thanks everyone


[1:53 PM]
marlen yep cool, thanks guys and see you



User avatar
Rebecca Dalmas
Posts: 167
Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 05:09

Re: When your words are taken out of context and used for another's misinterpretation – 17 November 2017

Postby Rebecca Dalmas » 18 Nov 2017, 13:13

This is such an interesting point to bring up because I have recently, this week, realize that movement as the game of telephone. Meaning, where things can be interpreted in a different way, to the extent the outcome down the line has a completely different meaning then intended!

Yesterday, I read an article placed by a local person that had so many "labels," as I call them. Meaning " isms." I looked at the article and realize that every person in the discussion could have different ideas about the topic based on this use of labels/isms. ON another level, it is a game of dress up as ideas, which can change with each generation. Ofcourse this is in the " intellectual' world that is of value to many in my community. I had the thought that to go in and make a comment opened a pandora's box and was better left alone to not grow. lol From my perspective at the moment, using the simple is a solution, meaning being practical and, for example, in this context, focusing on basic needs as a starting point. I feared this would cause reaction because those " isms" define the conversation; letting them go means stepping outside of self definitions.

I also have spent some time interacting with a man from another culture. What I notice in his speaking is what I call a scattered way of asking for something. For example, he in a conversation said, " I have the 40$ I owe you." Then, in the next moment, the words came up as, " If you pay for a new blade, I will finish cutting up that tree." Since this info was conveyed over time, between other conversations, I did not readily answer to the format. He could not say this directly- even though here, it would appear when spelled out in a more dense form that it is obvious! lol I didn't catch it. I realize, he probably did not directly realize his own solution, or feared asking this straight out, or, in his movements, his perceptions were filled with what could be called static; meaning multiple stories were going on at the same time. At times, it appears as a form of such busy-ness! Like I am supposed to be able to decode this in an instant!

I see the same with paper work forms. I have read the state educational pages over time. What I find, is that with each change, things can become more general. This of course, breeds confusion. Changes can then morph into specifics that are based on reaction to a consequence without addressing the real problem- as we know. To me, this is the use of that same telephone type of movement, using a swing between the general and the specific to create an agenda, or definition in self interest.

What I have looked at is this form, how to utilize this for a good. I also call this the building model, in a way, because that triangle form, from the general to the specific, is really the process of clarifying, or fine-tuning, because when we learn something we move from a general understanding to a more clear understanding. This is using the pyramid form and creating a lever ( triangle form), meaning, moving from initiation into mastery, where as one builds understanding, one moves into a fine point and closes the circle, or, makes the lead into command of something, which is moving through the eye-of-the-needle.

ON the personal level, this same problem can lead to people saying, " I don't want anyone to know my business! " because they are saying that they understand that what they may express can change as it moves through others, and what happens is that they receive a completely different story about what they are doing. That new definition, filled with labels, is avoided because it means going back and clearing it all up- which of course, occupies attention. The greatest fear is being defined as that watered down and colored information. Yet, understanding this and seeing it in real time, can be the means of explaining this, because how this works can be understood. I find when I take the time to do this, it does tend to calm things down. The ripples of emotional movement are not as big as we may believe.

What I am attempting to describe here, is that I find that remembering how development works, as the model of the pyramid as a kind of mirror of development, I can use what information comes at me, to gage not only the " static" information, but also the goal, as the potential of another, like a way to look for that zone of proximal development in another as that point where they are able to take in new perspectives. Or, to realize certain sequences in development even within emotional/feeling chaos and the inherent potential of a person. Or, I find this helps me stay on track within the what, where, who,why and when.

Anyway, I found it interesting that I had the " idea" come up this week that I was standing in a game of telephone, and how I could use a means to help me remain stable within that, to let things go, reform in more effective ways, to communicate to the potential in another, and/or realize a greater potency as facilitating greater presence in how this all works.




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