Living Library: Becoming Living Books and Share Ourselves - 22 Noviembre 2017

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Marlen
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Living Library: Becoming Living Books and Share Ourselves - 22 Noviembre 2017

Post by Marlen »

[1:02 PM]
marlen hey guys! Share any points that can be supportive to open up here also considering the support going out there for everyone else


[1:02 PM]
valentin.rozman Hi all :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:02 PM]
carlton Hello


[1:04 PM]
marlen so, any point, whatever may have opened up through recent interviews or videos


[1:04 PM]
blazcegnar hi


[1:06 PM]
leilazm Blaz, I saw you went to Living Library, you want to share some about that?


[1:06 PM]
blazcegnar I visited a Living library today, where books are people you can borrow to talk with them up to 45 minutes. I see it as a cool way to promote understanding and openness and to challenge oneself to talk and understand strangers and people you would normally react to. Did anyone participate in something similar?



[1:06 PM]
valentin.rozman Recent interviews about the nose are very interesting. I got a bit ill yesterday and had some fever however not a clogged nose and I also just sneezed once. However I do have a sore throat and I am looking forward also about the recording in regards to throat.


[1:07 PM]
blazcegnar lol @leilazm just started :slightly_smiling_face:


[1:07 PM]
marlen that's a cool point @blaz.cegnar go for it


[1:07 PM]
blazcegnar How did you know? Translated?


[1:07 PM]
leilazm oh okay so you haven't 'borrowed' anyone out yet?


[1:07 PM]
yes translate option


[1:07 PM]
kims Yes interestingly I sneezed dry and wet sneeze whilst listening @valentin.rozman



[1:07 PM]
blazcegnar Yes Duška and I talked with to beings.

[1:07 PM]
adam lol good idea

[1:08 PM]
kims And today I woke up struggling to breathe with a slight cold

[1:08 PM]
blazcegnar I will apply for a book as well.


[1:08 PM]
garbrielle that sounds so cool Blaz, never heard of that

[1:08 PM]
randy have not heard of Living Library concept... cool

[1:08 PM]
blazcegnar to be a living book

[1:08 PM]
marlen can you explain the basics for those that are not aware of how ti works @blaz.cegnar?

[1:08 PM]
marlen set the channel topic: Living Library: Becoming Living Books and Share Ourselves

[1:09 PM]
randy we are all Living Libraries, just aren't "open"


[1:09 PM]
blazcegnar It's an event organized somewhere in a time frame of 2 hours for example. You go there and there is a list of people chosen in advance with interesting experience. You can choose any number, wait for your turn and talk with them about anything you like.


[1:10 PM]
marlen how do they usually describe themselves though? just by name or age or?

[1:11 PM]
viktorpersson That sounds interestin


[1:12 PM]
kims It sounds really interesting @viktorpersson

[1:12 PM]
blazcegnar On the presentation paper they just have a name and then a few points of personal experience that makes them interesting. For example, I talked with a woman who was raped when she was 11 and a man who had to run from war in Bosnia and Herzegovina and is also gay.

[1:12 PM]
anna I've considered signed up to becoming a living book myself.


[1:12 PM]
garbrielle how much time do you get with the person Blaz?

[1:13 PM]
randy up to 45 minutes @garbrielle

[1:13 PM]
blazcegnar The guideline is up to 45 minutes or less. I guess it depends on how many people want to talk with someone. Also more people can talk with one person at once.

[1:13 PM]
valentin.rozman @blaz.cegnar cool that you offered also yourself to become a Living Book. I suggest you also research the Mentoring portal where I also have my profile so that people can order a mentorship with you > https://www.mentorstvo.si/en/ (edited)

[1:14 PM]
garbrielle cool

[1:14 PM]
carlton Wow interesting

[1:14 PM]
valentin.rozman Of course @blaz.cegnar it is much more attractive to immediately meet and pick up a living person.

[1:14 PM]
blazcegnar I think it's a great way to challenge self to talk about what problems and solutions one went through.

[1:15 PM]
marlen I like this idea as well, though it's currently happening only in certain countries, so here we can also consider taking this example and not limiting it to 'having to be' in one of those events only, but seeing how we can also become these living books and as randy said, be open towards others

[1:15 PM]
viktorpersson Were you also a living book @blaz.cegnar?

[1:15 PM]
blazcegnar Not yet @viktorpersson but I intend to

[1:16 PM]
dan Organizing a "living book gallery" in our local neighborhoods could be such a cool community building endeavor

[1:17 PM]
marlen I also would see how some people would have the idea that they have to have some major challenging experience in their lives to qualify to be a 'living book' - having gone through something super difficult/tumultuous in their lives etc... but this is definitely a limitation too, so definitely an opportunity to acknowledge ourselves as living books where we can always have a thing or two to share to new people


[1:17 PM]
blazcegnar I also noticed how some reactions came up within me when I read the descriptions of people I can talk with, so cool support to live the correction right there.


[1:17 PM]
marlen that's cool @blaz.cegnar I wonder also how people decide to define these main characteristics that define them as living books, but it's a starting point and surely a great opportunity to walk through our boundaries

[1:19 PM]
I see that for now it does require this kind of set ups to be open in front of another person, it's not that simple to do this 'out there' in the streets and just open up to someone and have the other person be equally available and willing to open up about themselves, so that's how it's a very cool initiative to set the proper 'stage' so to speak to do this

[1:19 PM]
kims I find it so much easier to express myself when I am questioned


[1:19 PM]
anna I like this @marlen - how can we take the living book project to our own lives?

[1:19 PM]
randy agreed kims

[1:19 PM]
marlen yep we can focus on that here @anna so that we can expand this idea into our day to day living, virtually and in our reality

[1:20 PM]
blazcegnar I see we could all present ourselves also online as living books and invite people to ask about our experience.


[1:20 PM]
valentin.rozman One think that I see about the Living Book concept is that one has a limited time and books have started to emerge exactly for the reason of multiplying your own time. So instead of spending one hour with million of people, one writes a book that takes 20 hours to write and 1 hour to read. Then the book is printed in million copies and is read in span of 10 years by 100 million people. The time savings are thus enormous.

[1:20 PM]
dan I'm sure we all have at least 3 bullet points from our lives that we could share with the intention to support others through our story

[1:20 PM]
marlen yep I also see that @kims but sometimes I don't get that many questions, so that's when I decide to share myself anyways lol, so it also comes as a decision to share, not only share upon being asked

[1:21 PM]
kims Yes agreed @marlen

[1:21 PM]
leilazm Valentin, I dont think that 'saving time' is the starting point of this movement

[1:21 PM]
kims I for one enjoy reading a book, the whole experience

[1:21 PM]
valentin.rozman Exactly @leilazm

[1:21 PM]
leilazm I think it's more taking the theme of books and 'judging a book by it's cover' and how to apply this with people


[1:22 PM]
marlen it can be done through books or our own blogs/vlogs or feeds in whichever social media we're in, but what does it in fact require of us to decide to be living books?

[1:22 PM]
viktorpersson Share ourselves, objectively and with clarity

[1:22 PM]
marlen and yep we can look at that aspect as well @leilazm how me tend to pick certain kinds of people we want to talk to or approach/get to know but generally stay away from or simply react to others that we would not 'normally' talk to

[1:22 PM]
anna This is also relevant in the context of integration of immigrants into a culture, which we have lots of issue with here, because immigrants struggle to learn the language and get to know Swedish people, so by organizing it, it could be a big support.

[1:23 PM]
viktorpersson If we are not clear on a point, then it will not be easy for the reader to understand

[1:23 PM]
kims Same here @anna

[1:23 PM]
valentin.rozman I see that people are in age of digitalisation craving for a personal touch and live connections so Living Books are definitely a cool move towards that direction. More slowing down, going in more depth, stronger intimacy.

[1:24 PM]
kims I often speak to strangers

[1:24 PM]
marlen yep that's the idea s well @valentin.rozman

[1:24 PM]
kims Especially on the bus :bus:

[1:24 PM]
valentin.rozman Cool @kims

[1:24 PM]
anna Yes @valentin.rozman -and really it's an existential issue and not just a question of the time we live in.


[1:25 PM]
marlen so how about grounding this conversation then to seeing where in our lives we are 'judging a book by its cover' and refraining ourselves from talking to them or getting to know them

[1:25 PM]
leilazm One point Esteni used to tell me a lot when I was sharing something, she'd tell me to 'tell me the story, tell me the timeline'


[1:26 PM]
where I had to push myself to slow down everything and move point by point to be able to give a clearer picture of what I was trying to express

[1:26 PM]
so the other person can also follow the sequence of events and so the patterns as well

[1:27 PM]
viktorpersson Yes, that timeline point, when working with law that is very important and usually something that the clients need help with – because they are jumbled up in experiences, ideas, and selective way of seeing things – so to get the picture of what has happened – the timeline approach is useful

[1:27 PM]
anna I can relate to this from Viktor's and my communication @leilazm where we've come to realize that so much of our misunderstandings and conflicts comes down to how different we are, and so if one assumes that the other knows/understand it is easy to misunderstand and misinterpret and I've had to learn to be much more specific than I ever thought was necessary.

[1:28 PM]
leilazm yes can we tend to hone down on what we think is the important part without giving aaall the information

[1:28 PM]
kims Yes I see the point of timeline - laying out a story in that way

[1:29 PM]
Like have subtitles of communication

[1:29 PM]
anna Exactly @leilazm

[1:29 PM]
kims And then we can expand

[1:29 PM]
marlen yep that's a cool consideration, makes things more relatable, just like reading a book/story, we really get into it by having all the details of the experiences etc - so sharing that with another creates that better understanding, along with as part of the 'living book' consideration, how we are deciding to change/direct ourselves in it

[1:30 PM]
leilazm and often when laying it out like that you start to see the points yourself lol so by the time you are done you go 'nevermind! I figured it out' lol


[1:30 PM]
dan I really like this living book idea!

[1:30 PM]
marlen and if it's communication with someone right in front of us, we can also make sure that things are clear, to make it known it's cool to ask if something is not clear or not sure what a word means, I like applying this clarity point for myself

[1:30 PM]
viktorpersson lol yres

[1:30 PM]
randy but sometimes leilazm, I see where I lose people in giving full story -it's like feeling like I have to give the Cliff Notes version or I lose their attention

[1:30 PM]
viktorpersson hehe

[1:31 PM]
anna That's another dimension @randy

[1:31 PM]
I sometimes overexplain lol

[1:31 PM]
kims Yes Randy

[1:31 PM]
marlen we can consider the 'living' part of telling the story, I see it as yes sharing all the details of it, the timelines and details , but at the same time how we are changing that story into a living process, how we are deciding to change ourselves in our 'story' or consequence or whatever we are going through

[1:31 PM]
randy my daughter tells me I give "exponential explanations"

[1:31 PM]
anna Where people ask me a simple question like "Where's the ketchup?" And I will go "Yeah, so I went into the basement and then I took the laundry down because it was going to rain... and so it's in the fridge." lol

[1:31 PM]
leilazm lol

[1:31 PM]
kims Especially when you suddenly hear snoring :joy:

[1:31 PM]
viktorpersson Yes, like some elderly, when they tell a story, much emphasis is placed on finding the date, when something happened, was it this year, last year, the year before?

[1:32 PM]
anna Oh yeah @viktorpersson lol

[1:32 PM]
viktorpersson And then I am like, I don't care about the date!

[1:32 PM]
Just give me the story already

[1:32 PM]
anna haha yes

[1:32 PM]
kims Haha

[1:32 PM]
valentin.rozman I was recently fascinated by the full life story of that guy > https://youtu.be/iJIc16aqpO8
YouTube FedScoop
Frank Abagnale - FedTalks 2013


[1:33 PM]
marlen lol @kims yeah that's another aspect there when it comes to sharing ourselves and thinking it has to keep some interest or be entertaining etc... but that also depends on how we relate to our own 'getting to know ourselves' and others, some people might want those 'cliff hangers' as they say, but not really needed when it comes to unconditionally sharing, so it depends on the context of it

[1:33 PM]
kims Yes there is a film @valentin.rozman - catch me if you can


[1:33 PM]
valentin.rozman And they also shot this movie that is based on his story > https://youtu.be/71rDQ7z4eFg
YouTube Paramount Movies
Catch Me If You Can - Trailer


[1:34 PM]
kims Hes an interesting character for sure

[1:34 PM]
tormod Excuse the lateness ! Living library sounded awsm ! I have contanted living library of norway, they are suited under a charity org !! they have not started fully in norway.

[1:34 PM]
valentin.rozman When I watched the movie, I assumed it was fiction because it was so unbelievable script.

[1:34 PM]
marlen Also considering how we tend to perceive or believe that only 'very interesting people' are the ones that 'deserve' to share their story, or only those that went through 'great conflicts' and came out of them alive, lol, so here considering that we all have our points to share regardless of how we see them.


[1:35 PM]
cool @tormod

[1:35 PM]
leilazm haha yes as a teenager I often wished I had more 'drama' in my life

[1:35 PM]
anna You would be a great book in a library tormod!

[1:35 PM]
leilazm that my life was too boring

[1:35 PM]
marlen yep same here @leilazm aand what did I do? i created it, to be 'interesting' just like others

[1:35 PM]
anna Jesus @leilazm lol

[1:35 PM]
kims I find many want to know about the psychic side of things

[1:35 PM]
leilazm but then I was like...do I really?

[1:35 PM]
tormod thanks @anna you also !!

[1:35 PM]
leilazm kind of sounds stressful

[1:35 PM]
kims So I always have a story to tell

[1:36 PM]
anna I deliberately started reading hardcore teenage books when I was 11 and 12, like about really fucked up teenage lives, to prepare myself to 'survive' the teen years

[1:36 PM]
marlen lolol yep definitely not necessary, though at the same time I've realized it was part of me understanding what it is to create emotions and personalities around that

[1:36 PM]
anna instead I programmed myself according to the books...

[1:36 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes @marlen there are many interesting stories but most of attention get the stories of people who also have good communication skills to tell their own stories and also how they look plays a role in it.

[1:37 PM]
marlen I sort of did that as well @anna or mimicked their lives in my own particular way... so definitely also a consideration especially when not having a 'life compass' in learning from others

[1:37 PM]
anna Yes nark

[1:37 PM]
*@marlen lol

[1:37 PM]
kims I should write a book actually on how I woke up from my spiritual sleep lol

[1:38 PM]
randy do it kims

[1:38 PM]
marlen sure it does @valentin.rozman it's an aspect of it currently, so we can also expand/go beyond these initial perceptions and learn to read/see others regardless of their skills or looks, and that starts with ourselves not only judging a book by its cover or communication skills

[1:38 PM]
valentin.rozman Reading/Watching/Listening to biographies is a very cool way to understand life and to get additional useful skills.

[1:38 PM]
kims I will attempt to find some time and look
At it @randy

[1:38 PM]
marlen yep @kims that's a cool plan

[1:39 PM]
kims Waking up from my psychic fog lol

[1:40 PM]
randy that'd be a good title kims

[1:40 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes, do write a book @kims

[1:40 PM]
marlen we can also have a look at how we relate to 'certain kinds of people' we would not consider talking to/approaching before, this may happen in random places/situations and I've found those moments to be quite cool to learn to understand a person in how they are/think/speak/behave, their mindset/beliefs and stop the inner judgments for example - sometimes a common ground can be found, sometimes yep one clashes completely, but the initial openness comes from ourselves to it

[1:40 PM]
carlton cool

[1:40 PM]
kims Not sure right now how to start but I'll have a think

[1:40 PM]
tormod talking of younger days , i discover from the word confidence that i used dance as a tool to survive expression vice


[1:41 PM]
kims What would be awesome - is if we had a book and each chapter a different Destonian life

[1:41 PM]
leilazm the Life Reviews are kind of Books of the Living Dead lol

[1:41 PM]
randy what doyou mean by "expression vice" tormod

[1:41 PM]
kims Yes @leilazm

[1:42 PM]
marlen The other day I was talking to an older guy and it was all fine as we were talking about foods and health, but then the conversation geared to premarital sex and how much he judged that and women that have it lol, I had to simply understand his context/where he's coming from to have such judgments, instead of going into a 'contrarian' attitude, simply said, well everyone has their own ways and choices... and so not dismissing the person, but sticking with what I learned from them about health/body etc.


[1:42 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes they are @leilazm

[1:42 PM]
randy indeed they are leilazm - those and the Death Research interviews

[1:42 PM]
tormod expression wise ? I use the word wise to point at my expression. to emphesis. @randy

[1:42 PM]
wise not vice i guess

[1:43 PM]
randy ok. cool tormod

[1:43 PM]
marlen cool @tormod and how do you see yourself with dancing now?

[1:44 PM]
tormod lol that is a rather deep question @marlen lol... it is multi dimesional

[1:44 PM]
multi fasetted ?

[1:44 PM]
marlen yep so the example above is how one can open up with strangers/new people, dive into conversations, and surely we may hit points we don't 'agree with' but in my case I learned to not immediately go into dismissing/judging the person for that aspect we don't agree with, but take what was the common ground of our communication

[1:44 PM]
multi faceted yep


[1:44 PM]
tormod faceted... cool word

[1:45 PM]
yea, I lower my expectation and just breathe, and listen to the person

[1:45 PM]
marlen sometimes I've also seen how I've had a tendency to avoid relating to people based on their economic/social status, which is a form of elitism to transcend real time, othertimes based on how I am comparing myself to the looks of a person, just wrote a blog about that one - so definitely cool to first have a look at 'judging a book by its cover' situation as well and clearing those initial/insta-judgments that prevent us from getting to know others as well

[1:46 PM]
anna Yes me too @marlen

[1:46 PM]
tormod lowering expectation meaning i would lower my total body focus on myself / within my self awareness

[1:46 PM]
marlen goes both ways, but, I've had opportunities to challenge these aspects, though they still come up, so it's a matter of continuing to apply myself whenever they come up again

[1:47 PM]
viktorpersson Yes I agree – important to push through those judgments towards appearances

[1:47 PM]
marlen that's a cool way to put it tormod as well to not be directed by expectations, having hidden agendas when sharing or approaching others as 'living books' - and work with whatever judgment or reaction we may experience as we get to know these new people

[1:47 PM]
tormod yea i fall also often for that "political stand" issue of past programing, i have to realize that politics - like it is today is not the solution

[1:48 PM]
marlen how do you define that political stand tormod, how do you define that or experience it?

[1:49 PM]
a cool thing though is that it is through these 'random' interactions with people we get to see which aspects of ourselves and others we still react to and judge, therefore more stuff for us to look at/investigate and process through, which otherwise we would not get 'triggered' if we didn't allow ourselves to open up to others

[1:49 PM]
So how can this be done within the internet as well?

[1:50 PM]
I haven't really done it yet but getting to know about the lives of/bios of people I would not regularly have an interest for, say, a baseball player or a veterinary... sometimes I also watch documentaries that I would not regularly 'feel like' watching in order to expand my awareness about other people's lives too


[1:50 PM]
tormod like i would often judge people who define themselves as conservatives or right wingers - within politics. i do know though that such is just programs and, and I should not react of judge or become upsett from that - or lett politics ruin my day


[1:51 PM]
viktorpersson Yes I do that with documentaries as well, watch them even though I resist

[1:51 PM]
valentin.rozman I am learning a lot how to correct my communication with assistance of my flatmate. This is because she is extremely emotional end oversensitive and I am more introverted and less sensitive. We tend to show points of each other very well and thus bringing up the opportunities to change.


[1:51 PM]
marlen yeah cool point tormod there you go, as in being aware of how we 'frame' and judge people, preventing us from really getting past those judgments/beliefs/constructs and getting to know them as people


[1:51 PM]
lol cool @valentin.rozman yep that's a supportive approach rather than making it an 'endless battle'


[1:52 PM]
also through sharing our stories in blogs, vlogs, social media, and also reading others' that we would not 'generally' be 'interested' to learn from, that's where the challenge also comes from


[1:54 PM]
and so it becomes a process of expansion, in my case definitely comes along with processing my own shit - meaning judgments, reactions, prejudices, and the rest of it towards another - yet the willingness to not 'shut the door' to another because of my reactions is there, so, rather acknowledging ok yes I am reacting to this, gotta work on it, making it a point to do so in order to keep 'getting to know' others


[1:54 PM]
any last pointers guys, other suggestions, ideas for this living book approach?

[1:54 PM]
randy cool marlen

[1:54 PM]
viktorpersson Cool, so expanding ourselves by taking in information we would normally not

[1:55 PM]
valentin.rozman I suggest for all Destonians to sign up for the Living Book program

[1:55 PM]
adam could also be living anything lol


[1:55 PM]
marlen yeah that's also a cool point, getting out of our preferred topics/types/kinds of things/people

[1:55 PM]
randy thanks @blaz.cegnar for sharing about the Living Library

[1:55 PM]
viktorpersson Yes, because that is also a judgment based on appearance, because we have not given the topic a chance

[1:56 PM]
marlen yeah @valentin.rozman it's a good idea that can be brought forth to organizations that do social events in our local places for sure, I'd be definitely up for that to both talk to/ask people stuff and share back

[1:56 PM]
tormod I have already signed up - for a list until further

[1:56 PM]
randy awesome tormod

[1:56 PM]
carlton Cool Blaz thanks for sharing

[1:56 PM]
marlen okay! yep thanks for sharing @blaz.cegnar and everyone

[1:57 PM]
see you on friday :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:57 PM]
adam thanks blaz


[1:57 PM]
carlton Thanks all bye


[1:57 PM]
viktorpersson See you!


[1:57 PM]
randy thanks everyone... cool chat... glad I got to be here for it...


[1:57 PM]
ingrids Thanks all


new messages
[1:58 PM]
adam bye everyone
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