Living Words Project - 16 December 2017

Marlen
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Living Words Project - 16 December 2017

Postby Marlen » 16 Dec 2017, 22:06

Living Words Project

1:04 PM]
viktorpersson Another topic 'how to keep on moving with living words – how to remind and push oneself to live a word each day'

1:08 PM]
kims I have noticed with the living words project, it's like anything I do I am out of the starting blocks - in a kind of excitement to share and open up, like with the 7 year journey to life - but if one isn't careful and it is energy based it dissipates


[1:09 PM]
kims So I have learnt to slow it down and check my starting point first is not excitement, and this way I find I am not so likely to give up


[1:09 PM]
alyson Hi all, yes living words is a good one

[1:09 PM]
marlen @kims though can you share how do you decide on one for the day?

[1:09 PM]
kims Sorry @marlen I jumped ahead

[1:10 PM]
marlen it's cool, like how do you take it on, is it a different word every day, is it one for a certain period of time?

[1:10 PM]
kims I choose 1 a week minimum

[1:10 PM]
Usually I look to see inside myself which word is coming up

[1:10 PM]
viktorpersson Okay, so it is as of yet a unrealized 'vision' of mine – 1 word a day – and then it would be a word that I select for a period of time – until I feel I got it

[1:11 PM]
My problem with it at the moment is that I forget about it

[1:11 PM]
kims Sometimes it is after a discussion with my buddy or something I see in my daily life that 'resonates' with me


[1:11 PM]
The word is here usually when I look

[1:11 PM]
leilazm Remember that is was not suggested to do one word per day but one or two per week to truly walk it and integrate it

[1:11 PM]
marlen yeah @viktorpersson I'm finding that certain words become more of a constant for periods of time, like for example humbleness was one some months ago, but now it's more understanding and seeing how to live undertanding in different scenarios - which in a way is a word to correct my big ass tendency to assume and jump into conclusions

[1:11 PM]
Klavdija Hiti Today I have 362 day in project 1 year of SF, when I finish I can start with new project, Living word. Jeeee


[1:12 PM]
kims I see the word within me - and I write it down

[1:12 PM]
marlen indeed @leilazm let's call it the living words project then so as to not create confusion

[1:12 PM]
tormod second that @darrylthomas more thankfull really for that character (Trump) of a "in your face" manner - saying the spitefull stuff

[1:12 PM]
marlen set the channel topic: Living Words Project

[1:12 PM]
kims I literally live my day and hold that word within me


[1:12 PM]
ingrids I can relate @viktorpersson my approach is the same and tend to forget about it but when I do remember, it is very supportive and sometimes I need to go back to where I wrote it down to see like, mmm what was the word I picked in the morning

[1:12 PM]
kims And see how I live it

[1:13 PM]
viktorpersson Okay – so living a word for a period of time then

[1:13 PM]
joekou for me i dont take it as how many words to live/redefine each day or week but more - what is relevant now to where i'm at in life/process and what will i work on. for me i find that when i choose words this way i don't forget it - it stays with me throughout what i'm working on


[1:13 PM]
marlen yeah that sounds cool @Klavdija Hiti also considering the point of how you can take one word for a week, yet reflect on it on a daily basis, so that it isn't a different word each day

[1:13 PM]
viktorpersson What tactics and tricks do people here use to remember to integrate and live the word daily?

[1:13 PM]
kims Can you all see what I am sharing here ?

[1:14 PM]
Or should I lay it out again ?

[1:14 PM]
leilazm yes Kim

[1:14 PM]
viktorpersson Yes I see it @kims

[1:14 PM]
kims Cool

[1:14 PM]
marlen yep @kims though can you share how you 'see within you' how does that translate to how you do it, do you reflect on your day, what you see you'd like to change, do differently?

[1:14 PM]
viktorpersson Okay @joekou – so intuitive word selection?

[1:14 PM]
alyson Yes @joekou , however my problem is I can go for a couple of days and forget

[1:14 PM]
viktorpersson Could you give me a concrete example of how that is done @joekou ?

[1:14 PM]
leilazm I do the same as Joe

[1:15 PM]
kristina I have noticed quite a resistance to the living words process within me for quite some time - but since transcribing SOUL videos I noticed it starting to come up within me naturally - seeing a word I haven't lived or that would support with some point emerge through writing out a problem. So that's been cool. Otherwise for me it seems to be foreign or simply 'not here'. though I realize the nature of resistances and the mind and how we can trick ourselves into believing things. so it's a process of patience

[1:15 PM]
leilazm I look at what is relevant within my predominant points at a given time

[1:15 PM]
joekou @viktorpersson well - i do sit and look at the point so not 100 percent intuitive. more like - making an assessment and having a bit of creative freedom to find a word as a solution to live

[1:15 PM]
marlen yeah I have a similar approach @joekou some words become the beacon so to speak to remind me of certain corrective process based on a constant thing I tend to do or repeat - such as the example above with understanding

[1:15 PM]
kims It's just here @marlen - it's hard to explain - I ask myself what word/s do I need to redefine today/this week

[1:15 PM]
joekou and sometimes i find it is not just one word - but maybe a statement or a few other words

[1:15 PM]
ingrids What exactly is the topic that we have choosen for tonight?

[1:15 PM]
kims Yes @joekou

[1:15 PM]
marlen nice @kristina!

[1:16 PM]
leilazm In terms of forgetting, I find that it is mostly a point of being aware of yourself in general

[1:16 PM]
kristina for those in relationships - or even with friends - can have a chat about a word, how you define it, or have lived it, then how it can be lived and then check in the next day or two about how that word was lived. Andrew and I have done this from time to time, which has been supportive and cool to keep it 'in your awareness'


[1:16 PM]
andrew Yes, I find often I will have a group of words that are related, with one being the most prominent

[1:16 PM]
kims I often find that I have one word that I walk and many more open up as a result of it

[1:16 PM]
marlen @ingrids discussing in general the project of living words as part of our day to day and discussing/sharing how each one is approaching that

[1:16 PM]
leilazm because if you're aware of yourself, you're aware of your problem areas and move to solution quicker - and then if you are consistent in that, you will apply and create when there's no particular problem either

[1:16 PM]
andrew but those words just usually come out of my writing as consistent words that seem to pop up

[1:16 PM]
kims Like when doing self forgiveness it will open
Up

[1:16 PM]
Klavdija Hiti A few months ago I made blog where I want to write living words, but in the end stay empty and now is time to start writing

[1:17 PM]
tormod I still have to find a longer rythm of my application of living words. still learning. some words i can "touch-base" on just to modify myself (embrace, stable, calm, relax etc ) and then going back to the process word that i am working on, and re-assess. some words i live almost everyday, while holding one or two as drives through my days for some time.... 3-4 days. by that time i learn to know myself as the word that i live.

[1:17 PM]
ingrids thanks @marlen

[1:17 PM]
kims I see it like branches on a tree

[1:17 PM]
One leads to another

[1:18 PM]
marlen ok that's cool there @kims so that if one is not seeing a word to take on in a moment, then it opens up through writing self forgiveness to see which word then makes sense to live as part of the corrections for the points that are current for you

[1:18 PM]
joekou for example there was an issue to do with a person in my life where there had been some conflict and communication was not going well - i used the word 'give' as my solution because i saw i was making it more about what i wanted and how i expected the other to be - and not considering how i have been toward them and how i would resist having to 'give' first - this was over a few weeks to get to a point of expression and integration to the stage where i approached the person again and changed my starting point

[1:18 PM]
leilazm other tips to assist as a bridge when you've been on a 'low' for a while and need help getting back in the habit is to make a screensaver or background with the word for your phone/pc. I've also written a word with henna on my wrist and work with that one until it fades out and then do another one


[1:18 PM]
marlen @Klavdija Hiti cool @Klavdija Hiti now you can consider these sharings to take them into consideration to start that one

[1:18 PM]
kims Yes it will open up when you start to investigate

[1:18 PM]
kristina cool joe!

[1:19 PM]
viktorpersson Nice @leilazm

[1:19 PM]
kims Yes Leila

[1:19 PM]
marjo Cool idea @leilazm

[1:19 PM]
kims I often keep saying the word to myself all day

[1:19 PM]
miranda If I am stuck at a point or in a certain situation, I will ask myself the question which word will support me in this? And then it will 'pop up'.


[1:19 PM]
marlen cool @joekou

[1:20 PM]
kims And have a kind of a game with myself to see if it comes up and many times it does, because I am aware

[1:20 PM]
joekou something i have done as well as - say i chose a word - i will then ask myself "what would X do" and fill in the X with the word. and then do that lol

[1:20 PM]
andrew Yes for me, I have found I have been a bit all over the map with living words where sometimes words come through in my reality a lot stronger and obvious where other times it seems more difficult to focus/arrive on a word.

[1:20 PM]
viktorpersson lol

[1:20 PM]
marlen yeah that's a cool hack there as well @miranda to ask and give it to yourself hehe

[1:20 PM]
viktorpersson cool @joekou

[1:20 PM]
kims It's like when someone talks about a kind of car and then you suddenly see it everywhere lol

[1:20 PM]
marlen ah interesting @joekou like 'what would 'understanding' do?' for example?

[1:20 PM]
Klavdija Hiti yes @marlen

[1:21 PM]
joekou lol @kims i get that with ex girlfriends - where after a breakup it seems like half of the world population has her name or the name of her new partner

[1:21 PM]
kristina or what to do if you find you are circling around a handful of words - like the list of living words you work with don't expand beyond those few words... like they always come up as the same words to work with

[1:21 PM]
alyson I have been working with my clients to find a relevant support word for them , and I find these words good for self support also, for some reason I could not sleep so well last night as our new cat was meowing and then I got an anxiousness in my tummy which is not common for me, I breathed in the I am and out the calm, for about ten mins and it helped me so much!

[1:21 PM]
kristina lol and as i write I see the solution - those words perhaps still require to be lived/integrated

[1:21 PM]
joekou @marlen yes. what would "flexibility" do, or "what would giving do"

[1:21 PM]
kims Haha yes @joekou

[1:21 PM]
marlen yeah true that @kims that's also how I see that we tend to also work with a single word as a key to look at many points at the same time, also considering that one word is one dimension of a solution, once that becomes 'who we are' then moving to a next one to integrate new dimensions to everyday living


[1:21 PM]
kims I can see words in people when I read for them too if anyone is interested

[1:21 PM]
marlen I like that one @joekou thanks for sharing it

[1:22 PM]
ingrids I still use the approach of in the morning when waking up, define how I experience myself and then see what word will aupport me in this - as how is discussed with Cathy a while ago. Then I do in moments remember it and it can support through critical situations. Sometimes I come back in the night and see, hey, I did live this word actually but was not really keeping the word with me. Sometimes I forget about it at all, sometimes I forget to define how I feel and pick a word in the morning (which are days that I experience as less directive) and sometimes I walk back up to see what word I actually did pick. Same words are coming back in this process for sure and I feel like really at the beginning of 'living words' within awareness.


[1:22 PM]
leilazm cute Joe

[1:22 PM]
joekou cool @marlen - i found it quite handy

[1:22 PM]
kristina cool kims!

[1:22 PM]
marlen I usually maybe not say it, but kind of remind myself for example 'move to' understanding, the word 'move' as in reminding myself it requires an actual move/change/stepping forth

[1:22 PM]
kristina I am interested :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:22 PM]
marlen so for example 'move to understanding'

[1:22 PM]
ingrids cool @kims

[1:22 PM]
alyson Ah interesting @ Kim’s would love you to share the word you see, are u free for thirty mins after here?

[1:23 PM]
kims Cool Kristina - find me on Skype and I can look for you

[1:23 PM]
alyson @kims

[1:23 PM]
joekou especially when you face those moments that inspired the word to come up in the first place - you immediately go "what would X do in this situation" and the integration of the word becomes something you live and create in that moment instead of kind of waiting on the definition to sink in

[1:23 PM]
kristina okay, thanks kims!

[1:23 PM]
kims Yes Alyson if you can do after cool

[1:23 PM]
alyson Thank you @kims

[1:23 PM]
marlen cool @ingrids

[1:24 PM]
anna Sorry I'm late guys. Lora went late to sleep today.

[1:24 PM]
kristina what is your skype name, @kims?

[1:24 PM]
viktorpersson So – the solution to 'forgetting words' is to push oneself to be more aware and then also to work with words that are a current and natural part of one's process/life – to look at what points are required to be dealt with and that are 'big' atm – and then work with words that support one to move through those

[1:24 PM]
kims Kimothy13 I think Kristina lol

[1:24 PM]
marlen cool @anna share in! discussing how each one has been approaching living words

[1:24 PM]
tormod I am interested to Kim S

[1:24 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I think that all have plans for next year like me and each plan have new word, maybe is look for words in that way interesting too

[1:24 PM]
tormod we can talk on viber

[1:24 PM]
anna I've started living words more intuitively as well, where it's like become more of a constant part of my daily life to have words I am looking at. However at the same time I definitely see I can push it more actively, and that I dropped the ball on a more directive process.

[1:25 PM]
kims @kristina - I will give you a reading and often the words pop out

[1:25 PM]
kristina sounds cool!

[1:25 PM]
marlen yeah @viktorpersson also a cool video that clarifies more of taking into consideration of practicality in living words is the 'intellectualizing redefining words' or something like that in SOUL so that it becomes something doable/tangible

[1:25 PM]
viktorpersson Cool @marlen – important point – must be practical and concrete – SIMPLE

[1:25 PM]
kims Would have to be Skype Tormod because I don't have viber in my computer

[1:26 PM]
tormod ok

[1:26 PM]
marlen that's a cool way to approach it @Klavdija Hiti I like that, each project or general situation we are in on a day to day basis can have its particular words to work with

[1:26 PM]
kims And I need to type properly- notvwith ine finger on my phone lol

[1:26 PM]
anna YES @marlen that video was VERY supportive for me, transformative in fact

[1:27 PM]
It changed my relationship with redefining words

[1:27 PM]
viktorpersson That is actually how I have worked with it as well – I remember there was one interview in particular – where it was explained that we can use our minds – to when we start the day – to look at what situations we are about to face/points we are going to move – and then we plan in the morning what points we are going to live – what words we are going to push – what corrections we are going to make – during that day


[1:28 PM]
tormod SOUL has guided me to fine tune the living words process - check out all videos of SOUL on YT


[1:28 PM]
marlen yeah definitely a key one in the process of redefining/living words, cool! here's the link https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xX5SCeW_sU4
YouTube School of Ultimate Living
When Redefining Becomes Intellectual


[1:28 PM]
joekou a side note here if i may - something that i have been noticing/picking up - there is sometimes a sense of guilt/shame/regret or whatever experience that can be attached when we know we've been 'away' for a while - where things we took on lapsed or fell away for whatever reason. it can feel crappy when we internalize this and only focus on what we fell on - but something to note is that we're all in this together and all of us have had to adjust, change, let go of certain things for whatever reason - so to not hold it against yourself OR anyone else and rather re-focus on starting again with fresh hands and fresh eyes unconditionally


[1:29 PM]
anna Yep @joekou

[1:29 PM]
viktorpersson amen @joekou

[1:30 PM]
marlen yeah I like that @joekou also goes hand in hand with deciding to take on a moment/day to 'start anew' so to speak, sure realizing, reflecting back on what led us to that 'falling' so to speak, but then definitely not to hold it against us or as some kind of shame/burden that we have to perpetually carry, that's the trap indeed

[1:31 PM]
joekou and lastly to not try to re-create the past - from the perspective of feeling we have to 'catch up' or 'make up for' - because then we miss the point of being here and what is relevant here - which we may prevent ourselves from seeing unconditionally if we're stuck on ideas of how things were/should have been. i share this as a nugget of stability i have found for myself lately - in case anyone else is relating to this pattern


[1:32 PM]
kristina awesome joekou - I can definitely relate to such a point, so thanks for sharing!

[1:32 PM]
marlen @joekou have been working on that with a trainee as well, he's feeling as if he has to somehow suffer, make up for, punish himself for something he did in his past, so these become like constant ideas of having to suffer/feel bad which prevents him to move into self-creation, so yep thanks for sharing that, that's the whole point of forgiving ourselves, if we don't give ourselves that chance, that opportunity, that decision and will, who will?


[1:33 PM]
joekou oooh yes lol i have had that point within myself as well as with some trainees - so it seems this is something in the air at the moment for some

[1:33 PM]
anna yeeeees @joekou

[1:33 PM]
kristina this was something that came up for me in Colorado - realizing how hard I am on myself for things that I fell on or didn't do well - not realizing the WHOLE process I've walked, but only seeing the bad/negative/the falls. And so the WORD to live was 'acceptance' in accepting the actual GOOD in my life and what I've walked


[1:33 PM]
ingrids yes @joekou I can relate to the feeling of 'making up for' and then think/believe that in this, I could have saved a situation and place myself as what I have learned through it, back in time as if I could have done it different already back then.

[1:33 PM]
kims Ah yes joe - I walked the word consistency and that helped me to be more driven,

[1:33 PM]
marlen yep @joekou very ingrained, even if not religious, the sense of 'Ihave to carry with my sins' is still there, which in this case leads to extreme self judgment leading to laziness or simply not daring to do things based on judgments, which is what I wanted to also have a look at today so cool!

[1:34 PM]
Adrian there is going to be shame when we fall - the point if to not get lost in the shame and rather direct the point

[1:34 PM]
miranda Nice @kristina

[1:34 PM]
Adrian is*

[1:34 PM]
joekou yes it can become paralyzing - and in later stages become a kind of repeated self sabotage loop

[1:34 PM]
viktorpersson Yes it can become like a addiction and a hiding place

[1:35 PM]
marlen @kristina and also all that which you can learn from based on all of that which you did create/do/accept in yourself, I mean we definitely have to remind ourselves many times to not beat ourselves up for that, but see it as valuable ways to learn more about ourselves, get to face our weaknesses and not judge it - within ourselves and others

[1:35 PM]
tormod right: I know that purging and blaming of self like ...fxxxx.. not a fun ride at all. self responsibility and common sense : time to stand

[1:35 PM]
viktorpersson Because, when we feel like shit we cannot put our focus on actually changing ourselves

[1:35 PM]
joekou there is real shame - which is cool - because it is a moment where we change for real. it is the more emotional/personality 'shame' that tends to be addictive and paralyzing

[1:35 PM]
kristina yes marlen!

[1:35 PM]
marlen @joekou yes exactly, so it takes quite the will to step out of it, based on how we create reality, moment by moment, we have repeated the same in space-time over and over that creating a different pattern/movement becomes difficult, though not impossible

[1:36 PM]
viktorpersson Should be another word for that type of shame

[1:36 PM]
anna I will also say, that for me at least, this process has been a lot more "messy" than I thought/expected it would be. I thought it would be more of a straight line, but it's been so dynamic/organic, moving in and out, back and forth, like an animal coming alive through bone and marrow and blood and guts.


[1:36 PM]
joekou pity party versus real shame

[1:36 PM]
kristina yes anna, can relate to that as well. 'messy' lol

[1:36 PM]
viktorpersson Yes, pity is a good word

[1:36 PM]
anna And within that also, that MY process is messy, and that is MY process, unique and specific to who I am, how my life has been, whereas another's process may be more straight like an arrow - not making my process less because it's been messy.

[1:36 PM]
viktorpersson self-punishment

[1:37 PM]
marlen contrition ? lol it includes the decision to change, though very religious word

[1:37 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I see that I have problem with relationships and men. I have bad experience and I afraid men because of it and now is time to get over this and start living. Word relationship with myself and other people.

[1:37 PM]
anna So I am slowly but surely finding a ground in my own unique process, though definitely still some judgment there and seeing it as "too messy" that I still have to work through, but I've started to appreciate/accept/understand the uniqueness of what I've walked through and why and how I've walked it this way.

[1:37 PM]
joekou lol @anna i find it comes in 'stages' and 'cycles' for each of us - all very specific - but there are moments where things flow and moments where we feel like we're trying to push a rock uphill - in the rain - while wearing ankle weights - and feeling bloated


[1:38 PM]
marlen that's cool @anna sounds more organic/spontaneous, rather than wanting to have something in a 'straight line' which seems a bit odd when looking at what we are talking about which is live/life/living, definitely multi-dimensional

[1:38 PM]
joekou lol @marlen i definitely reacted to that word a bit 'contrition'. immediately i saw the picture of a supplicant on his knees - a programmed religious connection

[1:38 PM]
ingrids I would then say that as long as there is the personality shame, the real shame has not been accessed and so the personality shame is an experience as excuse to not go into this and really see/experience the depth of the point/real shame and so keeping away from change - what you say in this @joekou?

[1:39 PM]
marlen that's cool @Klavdija Hiti definitely establishing that self-relationship of support assists a lot with being able to make our relationships with others also supportive

[1:39 PM]
viktorpersson contrition

[1:39 PM]
joekou i agree @ingrids

[1:39 PM]
viktorpersson it is a con

[1:39 PM]
marlen yes @joekou

[1:39 PM]
joekou i was working with a trainee who was also asking about shame and i explained the same thing - if it is a feeling and you actually spend more time feeling bad and virtually not doing anything about it then it is not real shame - it is an energy experience you are indulging in

[1:40 PM]
alyson I have never heard this word before- contrition, will have to google it

[1:40 PM]
marlen oh yeah cool @ingrids so real shame is when you look back, learn and decide to move on to change from that - and shame as pity party is just emotional self-blackmailing to not change lol

[1:40 PM]
ingrids cool @joekou

[1:40 PM]
viktorpersson Yes then it is digging a pit

[1:40 PM]
joekou yes a pit for your pity party


[1:40 PM]
invitation one

[1:40 PM]
and we've all done it lol

[1:40 PM]
marlen so, @joekou can you share however how to move from pity party to actual change


[1:40 PM]
valentin.rozman After attending the Blockchain conference several days ago, I have become very excited by the potential or generating income by Bitcoin mining, ICO investing and Crypto options trading.


[1:41 PM]
kristina real shame is like real anger where 'enough is enough' and you move yourself to change. it's simple and to the point.


[1:42 PM]
Adrian cool Valentin - make some money and support Desteni


[1:42 PM]
joekou @marlen i dont have a set prescribed way - because everyone will kind of have to find their point with it. for me it is about realizing that the pity party wont get me anywhere and it is really just me being selfish and wanting to manipulate the world to see me as the victim and seek 'damages'

[1:42 PM]
viktorpersson Yes real shame is really powerful – the times I have experienced it I have been able to move myself into a definite change


[1:42 PM]
kims Yes @kristina

[1:42 PM]
valentin.rozman That is exactly my plan @Adrian


[1:42 PM]
viktorpersson @valentin.rozman – Christian is doing mining

[1:42 PM]
joekou so for me i would work with people dealing with shame by asking them - what the shame experience really gives them - and how do they really benefit - and is there anything from the pain and burden of the shame that they fear to lose by letting it go

[1:42 PM]
tormod real shame is a deep point of realization and grasping the picture - then taking steps/action to change


[1:42 PM]
marlen yeah definitely point of sharing is that, each one's way as resources, but definitely each one will find their way - so for example cool in seeing how that becomes selfish and part of victimization that you then decide to move out of

[1:42 PM]
Klavdija Hiti yes @marlen I know, I see that all is depends on myself, so relationships too and the most important is relationship with myself, and then I look to relationship to nature too


[1:42 PM]
viktorpersson He is really good at it – if you have questions you can probably ask him

[1:42 PM]
anna yes @tormod

[1:43 PM]
marlen nice @Klavdija Hiti

[1:44 PM]
how I experience it is that if I am in any particular reaction, I can't really function that well with anything else, so that in itself becomes the fire in my ass to move to solutions lol


[1:44 PM]
valentin.rozman @viktorpersson Christian Stahl from Germany?

[1:44 PM]
viktorpersson Yes @valentin.rozman


[1:45 PM]
joekou real shame is not a lingering feeling definitely. which makes sense because if you are really ashamed of something then you wouldn't want to do it again and would take the steps to change/stop. otherwise it is just feeling bad that you got caught

[1:45 PM]
marlen any other suggestions/life hacks to move to live a word as solution when being in the 'pit' of pity parties?

[1:45 PM]
anna PERSPECTIVE lol

[1:45 PM]
Adrian get out of your comfort zone - that's the pit


[1:45 PM]
marlen yeah cool distinction @joekou how I see it is that such real shame becomes the motivation to change

[1:45 PM]
gzamoram Hi all - just caught up with the previous chat but have no more energy as I am still a bit ill (flu) - so Good night

[1:45 PM]
ingrids yes @marlen and when accessing this real shame, it is like an embracing of myself in that shame and the mind becomes quiet in that point and actually within this the commitment is made to change then I can move on and open up again and direct myself in a situation for example and before the real shame is accessed, I experience myself as restless and still 'not getting it' and holding back, at the same time avoiding something it but also looking for this one point as I find that more supportive than the 'feeling like there is something underneath'.

[1:46 PM]
viktorpersson Hello @gzamoram – and bye!

[1:46 PM]
kristina hi bye

[1:46 PM]
anna Like when I was laying there in my white bed with my white sheets looking up into my roof thinking "why the hell am I laying here feeling sorry for myself for some little trivial thing, when half the world is burning"


[1:46 PM]
ingrids yes @joekou

[1:46 PM]
miranda Take care @gzamoram

[1:47 PM]
valentin.rozman Thanks @viktorpersson, I will contact him via Facebook about that :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:47 PM]
viktorpersson np

[1:47 PM]
marlen yep cool description @ingrids of when one knows it's real shame and when one has accessed only the emotional shame

[1:47 PM]
alyson Yes take care @gzamoram

[1:47 PM]
tormod what word are ya'll livin ? I am looking at NEUTRAL myself !

[1:47 PM]
leilazm At the same time Anna, when we go that route it's also easy to use this type of thinking as a way to suppress, where we access the logical mind and then 'feel better' through 'perspective' -- but then dont actually look at why we were feeling shitty

[1:48 PM]
miranda embrace @tormod

[1:48 PM]
viktorpersson Yes it is a balance – looking at the shit vs. immersing oneself in the shit


[1:48 PM]
marlen @anna I've also learned to not go into such extremes because then I make anything 'related to me' unimportant, so I stopped doing that and actually get to know what I am experiencing and see my experience as relevant for me to work on, so I agree with Leila it can become a trap to 'swipe it aside' and not look into it

[1:48 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I think that my last year I can describe with word CHANGE or changing

[1:48 PM]
joekou ah yes nice point there leila - i have fallen for that myself a few times. where i try to then belittle my point and not look at it at all

[1:49 PM]
Adrian interesting Leilazm - yes self talk can be tricky if it does not amount to self right-ing in writing

[1:49 PM]
marlen exactly @joekou been there and done that a gazillion times, until I realized for me, my moment, my situation it IS relevant as it is something that's affecting me and that I've created somehow, so let's look at it

[1:49 PM]
viktorpersson Cool

[1:49 PM]
joekou but i do use perspective and context to better 'place' myself in terms of how i want to deal with a point

[1:49 PM]
kristina cool Klavdija

[1:50 PM]
viktorpersson I use perspective as well – it is very effective when I whine about things being tough in my life

[1:50 PM]
joekou my basic rule is if it is affecting me - then it is relevant


[1:50 PM]
marlen yep, that's a cool basic one

[1:50 PM]
leilazm Can use it to 'snap yourself' out of something, but still need to drect it


[1:51 PM]
Klavdija Hiti And go out of the point where you feel comfortable, I don't remember word


[1:51 PM]
leilazm direct*

[1:51 PM]
marlen yeah perspective is cool and taking a general context, though definitely to not make it a 'mask' to not look within oneself.

[1:51 PM]
joekou it does help to have perspective so that we don't blow up our own issues too much

[1:52 PM]
viktorpersson A sensible measure of perspective

[1:52 PM]
joekou lol

[1:52 PM]
viktorpersson And a sensible use of perspective – hehe

[1:52 PM]
joekou Sense and Sensibility

[1:52 PM]
marlen yep general reminders, not being hard on oneself, not judging oneself, but moving to understanding to then work on getting through such points


[1:52 PM]
leilazm in those moments for myself, I've pushed the word Gratefulness / Gratitude

[1:53 PM]
viktorpersson In what moments, shame moments @leilazm?

[1:53 PM]
leilazm pity party and like the moment Anna described

[1:53 PM]
viktorpersson Okay

[1:53 PM]
marlen so, gratefulness how?

[1:54 PM]
leilazm In shifting the perspective from all that is wrong and lacking to taking notice of all the things that are working well, and where there is movement


[1:55 PM]
Adrian if it is just another perspective to be able to contrast and compare - then it can be suppression/belittle-ing, no different to when your parents told you to shut up and stop whining when you were a kid by telling you about how lucky you were because there are other kids who have it so much worse than you do - the perspective we require is our own seeing and understanding of the point self honestly

[1:55 PM]
joekou cool i like that @leilazm

[1:55 PM]
leilazm which I find assists in settle things inside oneself and then things open up easier in terms of say direction in your life, inspiration


[1:55 PM]
marlen cool, I considered also seeing how many times we forget we do have the ability to change such experience within, maybe not the outcomes or reality, but can change how we face those situations - so gratefulness as in 'hey even though this is here, I can change how I walk through it'


[1:56 PM]
joekou i sometimes have trouble with walking myself back off of the plank so to speak - where i sometimes go "everything is fucked up" if one part or one dimension of my life isn't working

[1:56 PM]
viktorpersson Yes I like that as well – concrete – I have used a similar way of supporting myself when I have received harsh criticism – then looking at what I am good at, and what I do effectively

[1:56 PM]
marlen yep @Adrian that's a common one indeed, so definitely to not belittle our own stuff/experiences by making such extrapolations

[1:57 PM]
miranda Thanks all for this supportive chat

[1:57 PM]
Bye

[1:57 PM]
viktorpersson Yes @Adrian – important to remember

[1:57 PM]
marlen what has worked out for you to step out of that @joekou - final words !

[1:58 PM]
viktorpersson Suspense...

[1:58 PM]
marlen lol

[1:58 PM]
joekou lol that is still a work in progress so i'll get back to you

[1:58 PM]
marlen ok deal :slightly_smiling_face: thanks everyone for sharing! got some more equipment for this

[1:59 PM]
viktorpersson cliff hanger

[1:59 PM]
kristina yes - nice opening in this chat - thanks all for sharing!

[1:59 PM]
joekou i generally go back to basics. breathe, find my 'center' before making any big decisions - and not immediately throwing the baby out with the bathwater

[1:59 PM]
viktorpersson I'll be awaiting the answer @joekou

[1:59 PM]
marjo Very inspiring chat, thanks all, bye

[1:59 PM]
marlen lol @joekou that saying always gets me to see this very horrible scene, lol, weird saying

[1:59 PM]
viktorpersson lol

[1:59 PM]
Adrian those big decisions are in every 'small' moment

[1:59 PM]
joekou lol

[1:59 PM]
viktorpersson I did not understand that saying first

[2:00 PM]
What, baby and bathwater?

[2:00 PM]
Adrian many small moments accumulated = big decisions

[2:00 PM]
marlen took me some time too @viktorpersson could only see the broken baby and that's it

[2:00 PM]
viktorpersson lol

[2:00 PM]
ingrids lol we have it exactly like that in Dutch, that saying

[2:00 PM]
joekou yes but when we are in a point, sometimes ONE decision becomes suddenly major and earth shattering

[2:00 PM]
for me at least lol

[2:00 PM]
marlen that's cool @joekou a pattern-breaker

[2:00 PM]
Adrian lol

[2:00 PM]
joekou it becomes like an all or nothing

[2:01 PM]
marlen a break-througher


[2:01 PM]
viktorpersson So, you end up only throwing out the bathwater

[2:01 PM]
marlen LOL yes

[2:01 PM]
viktorpersson Keeping the baby


[2:01 PM]
joekou by all means please change the water

[2:01 PM]
marlen ok so! thanks for clarifying, see you guys !


[2:01 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I only hope that I don't too much idle chit- chat. Thanks all for support


[2:01 PM]
ingrids lol viktor yes


[2:01 PM]
joekou but for goodness sakes think of the baby


[2:01 PM]
viktorpersson It was cool @Klavdija Hiti


[2:01 PM]
Chats are meant to be talkative


[2:02 PM]
marlen a public reminder, this chat will be public - as stated at the beginning of the chat :slightly_smiling_face:


[2:02 PM]
viktorpersson Oh yes

[2:03 PM]
Thanks for the chat! Bye everyone!!


[2:03 PM]
ingrids Thanks all, bye!


new messages
[2:03 PM]
Klavdija Hiti bye


[2:03 PM]
Adrian bye all



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