Holding back from Sharing and How to Walk Through It - 20 December 2017

Marlen
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Holding back from Sharing and How to Walk Through It - 20 December 2017

Postby Marlen » 20 Dec 2017, 22:05

1:11 PM]
channel topic: Holding back from Sharing and How to Walk Through It


[1:12 PM]
tormod Some blogs/vlogs i can start to think .....»wtf are they on about» or anything like «that shirt looks weird» or «what do they mean» backchats in my head : BUT it is me who fail at seeing them and their process that they walk : AND i should know to support that process - Unconditionally - by sharing their view, to honnor that individual : and forgive my own reactions within me ! To me their stand may seen strange or.... uncool, i should honnor them no matter for what they walk !


[1:12 PM]
marlen k cool so! let's each share a situation faced within this and how it's become a 'holding back' scenario from sharing and we all can step in to support each other


[1:13 PM]
so @anna how has that been for you and if you can give a context of why there was such holding back before and how you've decided to walk through it ?


[1:13 PM]
Adrian I think many of us can relate to that point Anna, especially those of us who have been around many years - what a strange concept we carry, "building a life"


[1:13 PM]
dan awesome tormod


[1:15 PM]
anna Well what's been holding me back is fear that I'd lose the "status" I've built (in my own mind haha) and also the people. And what was so cool was that as soon as I went out there and started talking more about Desteni, I was censored and attacked in a community I had placed quite a lot of value into. So it was cool to have to walk that point.


[1:16 PM]
marlen that's a cool stance tormod and indeed has been supportive to see that level of unconditionality to share points, which is something I have to at times push myself to. I don't so much have a problem with sharing writings, but definitely have been walking through sharing more about my personal life, relationships on social media and finding my footing as well, but most prominently sharing artwork as I've mentioned before and seeing the many judgments, expectations and fears existing about that. So what I've been doing is taking these little 'leaps' to just share, and walk through the 'nervousness' that accompanies this sheer act of sharing a picture, I can then see how much I've attached to images, pictures, including of myself as well


[1:16 PM]
anna I do however constantly look at creating a balance, because I know that just spamming links isn't effective either, but that also shouldn't be an excuse not to share at all.

[1:16 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I don't afraid told anything about myself in web, but in real life I don't told anyone all about my life and only my best friends I told about my family and tough theme about them. Because there are some point that I don't want to all know about.

[1:17 PM]
tormod Lets share the content that we ourself think is «low» or «uncool» (backchats) cause that friction and resistance we hold on to is OUR issue - not the persons blog/vlog we all have a uniqe process to walk lets open our share buttons for that !!

[1:17 PM]
michelle despite being censored and attacked @anna are some people still talking with you / following your journey from that community?

[1:17 PM]
marlen anna yeah also have to consider that there are such 'built-in' responses to anything new/out of the norm/not-preprogrammed things like desteni, so that's where can first test the waters for a while to see what people are about, name dropping on a group/organization or method can be a 'throw off' for many, so that's something that can be assessed with each person, but ultimately who you are in how you live/stand, that already entails desteni, so that's something to consider as well

[1:18 PM]
dan I often relate to this point by seeing the 'safer' way is silence, because when I communicate or express, I perceive that I will either be praised or punished for my expression - so I only let myself speak into that which I am really confident about. This developed into not generally articulating myself or my point of view because I am not confident in myself... This is a very narrow framework, where I'm basically only expressing myself through ego-based rules, i.e. desire for praise or protection from criticism. I do not walk 100% this way, but certainly see the tendency I've participated in over time.

[1:19 PM]
anna Yes @michelle - it turned out to be a very small number of people, and those who connected with me for real, are still with me.

[1:19 PM]
tormod Yea blend in some catchy videos that social media is full of ... :+1::skin-tone-4:

[1:19 PM]
Adrian it's as though we know that the more we open up, the more will be challenged, and the more we will take on which we have to respond to, direct and work with - basically a resistance to walking process, consistently and openly - especially knowing that we will fall and we will make mistakes along the way

[1:19 PM]
dan Since walking process, I've seen myself change this and share more, when my starting point is on principle, vs when Iet my ego take the wheel of my expression

[1:19 PM]
anna Oh in this context the person had been stalking me and us @marlen lol - so he'd done quite a lot of research. So it is the typical Scandinavian "skeptic cult" lolol

[1:20 PM]
That was what shocked me, he knew so much aboout me and us! haha. So he'd really been interested.

[1:20 PM]
marlen yeah @tormod to me it's related to artwork for example, and so writing about that to see how much it's entirely reflecting all of my judgments.-baggage in relation to myself, my creations, all of it in the sense of not being good enough, not nice looking enough etc - which I've also seen I've expanded onto my own appearance and how those things have come up upon sharing more pictures of myself, more personal life - whereas before I got comfortable with sharing in videos and talking etc, but it wasn't about my personal life, so to me the sharing 'more personal stuff' in images has been quite the point to open up and expand on this year

[1:20 PM]
anna But - then the other day someone reached out to me and asked if I was the author of Vixen's joureny to life because she could relate to what I wrote. So now we have a communication open and I am supporting her and have suggested DIP Lite. And THAT is worth a little bit of hate lol.


[1:21 PM]
marlen yeah that's quite clear in terms of the mind-frame the sharing is being filtered through Dan, so that's a cool way to pin point it because I'm sure it's a common one where we base our sharing entirely on how 'others will see it' or 'at the eyes of others' - so what would you see you can start considering or changing in that approach

[1:21 PM]
that's quite cool @anna how did the person got to know it was you

[1:22 PM]
garbrielle i tended to share lots for most of my process, i did not tend to worry so much about the way i looked....i have as of late started to consider more my look, though i do see the value of just being me and through that expression stand within the princples of what i live, so my starting point i have aligned to be what is best for all through my expression, playing with looks/enviroments more as of late, and also ensuring i enjoy. Fear of expression has been here, though moving through the fear always lesson the 'burden' of sharing much, like riding a bike, the more you practice the better you get at it and become more confident/secure in the sharing


[1:23 PM]
marlen so for example when it comes to the dimension of getting 'hate' or disapproval from others based on what one shares or linked to 'desteni' it's also a cool opportunity to see where our weaknesses exist, where we are still holding any judgment to 'desteni' in itself or whatever is implied in it to a point where we allow ourselves to be 'affected' or 'offended' by it - so that's definitely more of a revelation about ourselves than about the other people saying those comments as well

[1:23 PM]
tormod Cool @marlen Nice to follow how you expand within seamingly simple interest !

[1:23 PM]
anna I don't know @marlen - but she's swedish and I've recently gained quite a lot of new followers because I hosted a swedish baby carrier Instagram account, so she's probably from there.

[1:24 PM]
michelle cool @anna! (sorry my computer running slow)

[1:24 PM]
garbrielle I have also done the self forgiveness and in a way putting the backchat junk thought of my mind, more focusing on the message, how i can stand as a support/example for others, and through that being ok with whatever people may think, those who are going to judge will do that, though if i am clear within myself and not judging then i stand and through that give more the opportunity for people to hear/see the message

[1:24 PM]
anna For me, it wasn't about the fear of the hate - but the fear of rejection, that people wouldn't like me anymore, think less of me, which is tied to a whole other point about my own insecurity. So really it isn't about Desteni at all.

[1:24 PM]
marlen @dan also considering how you mentioned 'safer way is silence' this is precisely the topic here today, where we 'prefer' to not challenge ourselves/get out our comfort zone of 'silence' or remaining 'unchanged' or 'unchallenged' and in this way we don't really get to face ourselves with our interactions either real time or ciber-spacely with people, which are in fact the ways to get to know ourselves, who we are in sharing

[1:24 PM]
anna It's that Desteni could posssibly potentially maybe be a "weakness", a "flaw", a "minus" lol

[1:24 PM]
garbrielle ut of my mind*

[1:24 PM]
out*

[1:24 PM]
dan cool marlen :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:25 PM]
viktorpersson I am the same as Anna – when I started with Desteni I had no problems with sharing myself – though now it has become a different story because of my job

[1:25 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I was problem with one person, who told me, that I can't write in English, because I don't write enough good, so I decide to made group and post only for them.

[1:25 PM]
marlen sooo that's a cool point to take on to open up as a construct within you in how we perceive it as 'in the eyes of others' yet the actual value we give to such perceptions exist within ourselves @anna so that's cool to go opening the construct more to cross reference with reality what am I fearing losing, what am I actually defining as a weakness and then cross-referencing with reality, is it really a weakness, a flaw, a 'minus'?

[1:26 PM]
dan I forgive myself for accepting and allowing myself to fear ruffling others' feathers.


[1:27 PM]
viktorpersson I see no problems with writing and sharing myself anonymously atm – what is important is that the realizations and insights are spread and shared – however ideally I would like to be completely public and transparent with all of my life

[1:27 PM]
marlen Here also considering that in any case it definitely means we can't change the associations of people's initial approach to something, we can only ever stand with/as our own life, sharings, expressions, which even if they don't have the name tag in itself of what it is, it's implying the desteni tools and principles. So that's where the separation exists as well, where we are on one side standing by these tools, principles, support and on the other still holding a judgment about it... so, how to align this relationship?

[1:27 PM]
anna I've been pushing myself to do live vlogs - man that's challenging

[1:28 PM]
tormod But You are awsome with it @anna :purple_heart:

[1:28 PM]
viktorpersson Hmm, I don't understand your question @marlen – could you rephrase it?

[1:28 PM]
michelle I also question myself sometimes like ‘’if someone finds out its me through my annomynous blog will I be ok with it?‘’ and I realize I dont really have anything to hide lol

[1:29 PM]
that I’m ok actually if people know it’s me

[1:30 PM]
valentin.rozman My process was actually about holding back sharing even more or better to say - changing the way and quantity of information shared. Years ago I shared with others the most shocking information in order to be admired about how much I know. So now I am very careful to share with little steps and with consideration of others in order not to trigger any unnecessary reaction, even positive. A week ago when I was interviewed for the 3rd time on TV the host told about the experience of someone who has been sharing his memory of being abducted by aliens in levitating mode through the window of his bedroom and got basically exiled by community because of that. And then the TV host asked me if I am also getting a lot of negative reactions from the people considering that I have also vlogged about alien abduction and implants. She was surprised that I receive almost no negative comments and that people like to friend me after discovering my Desteni related content and then engage in constructive conversation. And I am very happy for making such progress.

[1:30 PM]
dan cool val!

[1:31 PM]
tormod Quite some experience @valentin.rozman is there english text on any of the shows ?

[1:31 PM]
garbrielle test

[1:32 PM]
marlen yep it froze for me too @garbrielle had to restart

[1:32 PM]
anna No one is saying anything. This is so weird lol

[1:33 PM]
marlen @viktorpersson meaning that if we are holding back based on how 'others' might perceive sharing anything related to desteni or our process, yet at the same time we are walking such process and standing in it and support ourselves with it, how to correct/align that separation or schism that exists within self where one knows it is supportive yet at the same time still holds back because of 'how others will perceive it' - so what can be practically done to correct it

[1:33 PM]
michelle yeah my slack freezing up too

[1:34 PM]
kims I've just got here and catching up

[1:34 PM]
leilazm How I look at it, is that I could hear and see the Desteni message - and if I can, and you guys can, so can more people

[1:34 PM]
kims I am the same as Viktor, I am able to share fully without having reproach from others because of where I now work

[1:34 PM]
leilazm where I shift my focus from 'why might not possibly like it' to 'Iknow there's people who will like this


[1:35 PM]
who might not*

[1:35 PM]
There's more Leila's, marlens, Kims, Annas, Viktors, Garbs, Tormods, Dans, etc out there

[1:35 PM]
anna Yes @leilazm and @marlen and the other thing is also to allow people to process the information. That just because they might not be friendly with it from the beginning, doesn't mean they're not taking it in and chewing on it.

[1:35 PM]
dan another dimension to this point that affects me is 'commitment' where I sometimes have trouble speaking up, put my words out there, and 'placing a stake in the ground', so to speak - because then I have to do it, or stand by it - which is a little more work than the freedom of simply going with the flow (of consciousness).

[1:36 PM]
anna Like Viktor's siblings are often coming to us and opening up and sharing now, asking us for advice - and they know we are in Desteni.

[1:36 PM]
marlen that's a cool approach Leila, how I see it is that it's really within ourselves where this hold back comes in any form of judgment to it and forgetting that primary point which is: it's for self-support, any human can benefit from it, so there you go

[1:36 PM]
leilazm I was catching up with an old friend of mine the other day and as we say bye, he suddenly dropped that he really likes my vlogs and blogs and to keep it up


[1:37 PM]
marlen yep @anna kind of applying the understanding of how we are naturally 'wired' to react/be defensive or attackative at something new that one does not understand or hasn't heard of in 'mainstream waves' so that's where who you are as the person sharing, applying it becomes supportive

[1:37 PM]
Klavdija Hiti Why we afraid see ourself like we are. With writing I see that I'm not the only person with that problem and because of it I write public and I don't afraid that.


[1:37 PM]
Adrian maybe we should be challenging ourselves to walk more openly and take risks instead of finding more reasons not to. are we here to make a difference in this one life or are we here to protect our identities, jobs, bank accounts etc. - ?

[1:37 PM]
tormod Awsome @leilazm !

[1:38 PM]
marlen cool feedback @leilazm yep, we can't really know who's out there seeing. I also got a message from an aunt on instagram, saying congrats for sharing and breaking cultural baggage boundaries, lol so unexpected, but hey cool if it's assisting people in ways I didn't expect, even more so in 'picture form' and not from blogs

[1:38 PM]
anna Yeah I also regularly get messages from people who's watched my stuff, even years back, whom I had no idea about.

[1:39 PM]
leilazm When I was in Belgium and saw friends, they knew so much about my life I was like.....where are they getting that info... and then I was like oh right, lol

[1:39 PM]
marlen yes @Klavdija Hiti that's a cool essential point, all of us here got 'in here' because we started reading each other and realizing wow I'm not the only one experiencing this shit man, we are all going through the same just not being open about it - so that's the basic level of relatedness to consider when sharing ourselves and self support

[1:39 PM]
valentin.rozman I recently watched a documentary about the singer Amy who eventually committed suicide because she became famous and could not escape paparazzi in any way. Her last words were that she exchange everything she has for being able to take just one walk down the street without anyone giving her any attention. And I also enjoy very much walking around and enjoying myself and nature without anyone trying to bother me. So as much I love to share Desteni message or doing anything else, I would like to keep a low profile and enjoy the peace and quite time since I am able to enjoy myself even in such simple things as my breath. https://youtu.be/Za3lZcrzzcM
YouTube Movieclips Trailers
Amy Official Trailer #1 (2015) - Amy Winehouse Documentary HD


[1:39 PM]
kims I do ponder if sometimes if you don't know who is writing - some see the message and content more, then getting hung up on who it is

[1:39 PM]
anna I also really liked your influx of photos @marlen. It looks totally different in your city than I imagined. Much nicer! I imagined this run down place lol

[1:39 PM]
Yeah @valentin.rozman watched that too. It's on Netflix.


[1:39 PM]
michelle yes @marlen and I was suprised when a coworker commented about a share I made on children and I wasnt unexpecting that because she didnt like or comment about it but made me realize that even if people dont comment or like something doesnt mean its not in their awareness lol

[1:40 PM]
leilazm It's like with asking someone out for a date, you got a No , you can still get a Yes lol

[1:40 PM]
michelle yes I agree with @anna @marlen your pictures break the ideas I had in my mind about Mexico city lol

[1:40 PM]
leilazm yes exactly Michelle, just because it's not visible to our eyes, we dont know what's rippling

[1:40 PM]
marlen @valentin.rozman I consider there's though a construct there you can look at where before you'd share stuff to get attention but at the same time fearing such attention with the last comment you placed out here, so you can consider looking at how the sharing is coming with these desires or fears and if they are still present within who you are as sharing or not

[1:41 PM]
anna People are also very paranoid around the internet still - so THEY may be afraid to openly support us.

[1:42 PM]
marlen lol @anna and @michelle yeah I actually had mostly shared the nice looking parts, not everything looks so neat, but definitely choosing to share that which I enjoy the most of it

[1:43 PM]
tormod I also see more into talking my native language in vlogs, that these videos are maybe not interesting elsewhere, and I soon see how that design of eating away my «sharing-integrity» is going on, eating me up from within and limmiting my sharing willingness / integrity

[1:43 PM]
anna Could you share also what it looks like around where you live @marlen?

[1:43 PM]
marlen @michelle true that on the sharing, sometimes you definitely get the comments in person and not there, so to me also the social media aspect had become a bubble in itself, was just writing about that where I was shifting into creating a validation about myself, my relationships 'in the eyes of others' instead of sharing it entirely as myself, my expression, me sharing unconditional

[1:43 PM]
Klavdija Hiti yes @marlen but we must have basic point, we do this for ourselfs, not because I don't know how much people reading our blogs and listening our vlogs. We must work for ourselfs, this is ours process and only when other people start doing their process can made real change in their lives.

[1:43 PM]
marlen yep I can @anna I just don't see anything too interesting since it's any regular street, no interesting buildings or anything

[1:44 PM]
leilazm If we dont set a new norm of what is acceptable, who will? When I read a People's History by Howard Zinn, I really realised how many points that are self-evident and normal for us today were not in the past, and how back then, lots of people had to struggle to push for that change. And years later, w're able to reap the benefits of that. And it may be a struggle now, but our kids, grandkids, etc, they will reap the benefit of it oen day

[1:44 PM]
marlen but I don't want to share that btw, privacy reasons

[1:44 PM]
anna I see people sharing in their local language create a much more intimate connection with people @tormod

[1:44 PM]
Oh ok @marlen

[1:44 PM]
Yep @leilazm.

[1:44 PM]
valentin.rozman On the other hand I realised how there are many people who are contrary to Amy able to handle the public exposure. Like presidents of countries for example. So instead of feeling self-pity and victimising myself I could be very creative and direct my life to use many means of achieving peace despite of world fame. Thus I am slowly increasing the level of my sharing and at the same time developing social skills and ability to direct anyone that contacts me in order for my private life staying protected.

[1:44 PM]
marlen I've had some stalking situation, hasn't been recurrent but best to keep myself safe considering I move around alone

[1:45 PM]
Adrian yes it is really not about others. it is about self expression and what we create.

[1:45 PM]
leilazm and there goes are new nice image of Mexico lol

[1:45 PM]
marlen tormod cool on defining it as 'eating away my integrity' as well, to see where we are limiting, 'freezing up' a potential expansion and getting to identify the reasons for it

[1:46 PM]
tormod Agreed @anna and I do understand lol that norwegian speaking may not be a big entertainment hit in Mexico or china etc ... but you never know!! :hugging_face:

[1:46 PM]
marlen @leilazm lol yep definitely looks 'nice' but that's it, not so rosey here, but I've been fine overall

[1:46 PM]
(if your slack freezes, restart, happening again)

[1:46 PM]
leilazm Sometimes I also remind myself, you know , one day Im going to be dead and I'm going to have to do my life review - how do I want my life to look when I have to look back in that moment


[1:46 PM]
anna Well you can do vlogs in both Norwegian and english @tormod

[1:47 PM]
Yep @leilazm - I've been reminding myself of this more often. I want to be able to die and say "I did what I could".

[1:47 PM]
"I gave it my all, this life."

[1:48 PM]
tormod Second that @anna

[1:48 PM]
marlen yeah on the privacy point @valentin.rozman just common sensical like what I just share, won't share where I live around because of security reasons, and keeping basic data public up to what you are willing to handle. I once was with a soap opera woman in colombia who gave her phone number away on a tv show... duh... lol... people would not stop nagging her, well of course! what would you expect? so she had to change her phone, she gave it because of some charity thing... well we learn from mistakes

[1:49 PM]
anna I show pictures of where I live. I don't see who'd want to come and kill me.

[1:49 PM]
Adrian yep we're all going to die and lose everything anyways, there is nothing to "lose"

[1:49 PM]
marlen it's cool you mention that @leilazm it is definitely something that exists in the background of being able to stand in integrity with myself at such 'end of time' point

[1:50 PM]
so practical point though @Adrian to still identify whenever this fear of loss, fears in general comes up, to be cool with it as it's pointing out where we are still in-fear-ior to that, where we fear losing something, where we are defining ourselves and so limiting such potential

[1:50 PM]
anna But I have actually thought about how people can become obsessed with children, and with me showing so many photos of Lora, there might be some who get obsessed. But I figure that I can't live my life focused on such things to a great extent.

[1:51 PM]
leilazm While I was going through some interviews for Bernards next book compilation, a point that stood out was how there's the fast process and the long process. Where we either walk in every breath, and review evey breath as we walk here on Earth - or we wait till we die and have to do it then

[1:51 PM]
Adrian yes cool to identify each point Marlen - for blogging and vlogging

[1:51 PM]
marlen it definitely feels like taking a 'leap of faith' every time I decide to 'share away' something that in me-my-ego would not do, so taking it also as things to test out and challenge myself, which means getting out of the comfort zones

[1:51 PM]
anna Yes @leilazm

[1:52 PM]
leilazm either way it's going to happen, kind of wanting to postpone the inevitable or not

[1:52 PM]
anna Yes @marlen - I find it very supportive.

[1:52 PM]
tormod I dont want to face «not sharing person X blogs» in my life rewiev lol ! Deff point to dive into/integrity

[1:52 PM]
marlen @anna can look at it yourself as well, what's your relationship to taking pics of children as well, so that if there's any point of feeding that, then it can be realigned within sharing - so to bring back the point we observe in others to see who we are as it as well

[1:53 PM]
anna Not entirely sure what you mean with my relationship with taking pics of children @marlen - how do you mean?

[1:53 PM]
Adrian this could be a cool point in itself to share/vlog about - why we fear expressing ourselves publicly

[1:53 PM]
marlen yep I've also faced for example the point of sharing about something that is 'very relevant' in the moment and not jumping into a projection of how 'irrelevant' that might become in the future for example, which is this kind of comparison when it comes to valuing things based on 'my future eyes of relevance' or 'at the eyes of others' instead of focusing on what's relevant for me here, where I stand in it today

[1:54 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes @marlen and it is also great difference between one producing a pop songs with simple lyrics that do not change this reality much and sharing Desteni information that are very practical, applicable and are inviting everyone to look within, change and take self-responsibility for everything in existence.

[1:54 PM]
marlen @anna based on the comment "ut I have actually thought about how people can become obsessed with children, and with me showing so many photos of Lora, there might be some who get obsessed. But I figure that I can't live my life focused on such things to a great extent." meaning, sure people can get obsessed about many things, so just to check if any of that exists within you as well that could feed such idea about others or in yourself


[1:54 PM]
dan shame - we face it so we may share ourselves shamelessly


[1:54 PM]
anna Yes ok @marlen

[1:55 PM]
marlen @valentin.rozman really depends, if that pop song is something you decide to expand yourself to enjoy and dance to and share about it, why not? challenging a bit here the perception when it comes to extrapolating what's good or bad or supportive or not supportive, I tended to do this, but now really pushing myself to no longer create these judgments upon things even if I dislike them

[1:55 PM]
which is why it would be cool to open up michelle's topic next time if we can! the culture one

[1:56 PM]
Also, for a last reference, something that has also assisted me to 'get out of my box' is to see how unconditional others can be in sharing something that I have a particularly restrictive experience to share on


[1:57 PM]
and that becomes a physical reminder of how in these other people there are no such limitations, they just do it, so it's a sort of inspiration as well to go for it

[1:57 PM]
so, any last points of support or reminders to walk through the sharing point?

[1:57 PM]
viktorpersson Yes cool reminder

[1:58 PM]
marlen key point, whatever I think 'others' will be saying/looking, it all reflects back to myself, and that's how I then can strengthen myself to see where my separation points exist and strengthen myself/reintegrate myself back


[1:58 PM]
viktorpersson A reminder for me is when my writings start to become forced and stiff – and also when I hesitate sharing something that comes naturally

[1:59 PM]
marlen yeah hesitation, or self-doubt definitely another point to be aware of/watch out for to see what's behind it

[1:59 PM]
ok then! so let's leave it up to here

[2:00 PM]
viktorpersson Cool


[2:00 PM]
marlen thanks for sharing and let's place it into action, then we can have another feedback session in time to come about it


[2:01 PM]
viktorpersson Okay, thanks for the chat


[2:01 PM]
bye!!


new messages
[2:01 PM]
dan thanks all



User avatar
Rebecca Dalmas
Posts: 169
Joined: 15 Jun 2011, 05:09

Re: Holding back from Sharing and How to Walk Through It - 20 December 2017

Postby Rebecca Dalmas » 21 Dec 2017, 02:46

Cool chat. I have had this sharing issue come up often. It is a real balance. I also have looked at an idea, the same idea, from another angle. Someone said to me, " there is no such thing as criticism." This is true, because within the cognitive dissonance of the mind, we tend to project, as we all know, into a confirmation bias. This is, as I see it, justification usually projected onto another dimension of and as an issue in the world, way out there from the self. This is using something outside of the self as distraction to not face that within the self directly. This is often what is called a logistical fallacy, and in meter and time, it is changing key, so to speak, as moving into a distant-from-self issue. It is sharing indirectly, which can appear to be a form of criticism, that is placing the issue outside of the self, to allow a resolution indirectly, because in a way, the person is looking for a solution, the back chat is simply far away because it has been suppressed for so long. In this, nothing is really a criticism, it is sharing indirectly, a form of asking for help away from the self. I thought this an interesting perspective to share.

Another dimension of this is the use of hyperbole, inflaming some issue with a bias, some distant-from-self-issue that is a hidden confirmation bias asking for help. One can move from that distant inflamed situation, to then open up a process of resolution. It is said that Donald Trump used this strategy and this is why he succeeded. He creates a huge scenario, to open up something, and then within the reactions, moves to fine tune the issue and have means accepted that might not have been looked at in other ways. It is also a form of distraction ( which is how logistical fallacies work), yet, lol, to use a distant and separate confirmation bias, is also a form of distraction! Same difference !

This is a point of no longer reacting as much to pulls into value judgements and that fear that one cannot answer to it, or will be defined as it. And I see this as moving more into real "power" rather than force, and mastery being able to pull on the strings of energized and polarized whorls without fear and using story to bring that criticism back down to earth. And, to not get lost in this, to remain grounded without becoming proud. Or, to do this with joy, maintaining an awe for creation.

Interesting to write this out here. I hope it makes sense!



Marlen
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Re: Holding back from Sharing and How to Walk Through It - 20 December 2017

Postby Marlen » 21 Dec 2017, 17:57

Cool Rebecca, the point about sharing oneself is more from the perspective of sharing who one is, one's life, one's expression with others. If I am understanding well you're referring to sharing some information to others? Meaning like news articles and such? Which is a different dimension from the point opened up here.

Though you mentioned criticism which is often the reason why we don't share ourselves, we fear such criticism, and in that we prevent ourselves fro sharing just like Dan explained in chat, rather keeping ourselves quiet/not saying anything because of not wanting to face any feedback at all, and in doing so we diminish ourselves.

I consider we didn't get to fully ground this topic considering that this is an ongoing situation for some, however what I want to share here also as a resolution and answering my own question of how to dissolve the separation created between self's change and process and sharing about walking such process - such as in vlogs, videos, or in conversations with others - can start with simply identifying what kind of fears come up when considering sharing about a certain topic in public/with others, and within taking that back to self, one can spot where is it that we are still judging our own process of change, self creation and standing up with an form of fear or limitation created in the form of expected criticism from 'others,' and instead reminding ourselves that such 'others' is in fact ourselves.

There's also the dimension that such criticism is also a very real thing, not only coming from us as a projection, but people can in fact be dismissive and at times turning defensive about what is being shared - and that's also where we can get to learn who we are when facing such reactions, whether we are taking it personal, whether we are in fact going into fears about it, whether we lose our ground and why... all of these points are cool for self reflection again to see where and how we are still allowing others' words to affect us, and where we haven't yet fully stood with our own words, sharing as our expression.

This in turn will strengthen such expression of self as sharing, where one is then aware that yes, sharing implies confronting it with the world, however doesn't have to mean creating a battlefield or coming out with an armor from the get go - nope, it's all about developing self-trust as well and integrity - which was also mentioned in the chat - of where one stands in relation to living, applying this process of self change and sharing that as an expression, as a point of expanding or 'passing on' what one is living and applying.

Therefore whatever comes up within us about what we share, it's definitely reflecting back what we have to work with, And at the same time, whatever we face from others based on our sharing can be a cool feedback process to see where we still react, where we went into wanting to 'defend' something, where we got pissed or angry at the person, where we believe there is something to defend in it all? Where are we trying to 'save' someone's perception about us? Why would we fear such person 'thinking' something about ourselves? What kind of ideas of ourselves do we fear losing when sharing certain aspects of ourselves? What image do we want to portray? etc. This way any reaction to any feedback - or lack thereof - is always a point we can work with, never about 'the other people,' each one has their own mind, life experience and process to walk.

So, that's how I see it as very cool to keep an eye on these limitation that reflect a lot about ourselves, nothing and no one else.

Also here's the video I shared about from Kristina, forgot to mention it so, enjoy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXdk5Dp-OeI




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