Checking in on self change progress going from Sugarcoating to direct self honesty and clarity - 05 January 2018

Marlen
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Checking in on self change progress going from Sugarcoating to direct self honesty and clarity - 05 January 2018

Postby Marlen » 05 Jan 2018, 23:31

1:05 PM]
sunettedimensions set the channel topic: Revisiting December 29th 2017 chat - Checking in on self change progress going from Sugarcoating to direct self honesty and clarity - WE START


[1:05 PM]
sunettedimensions Gooooooooooood moment all!


[1:05 PM]
randy Hi Sunette

[1:05 PM]
alyson Hi everyone

[1:06 PM]
viktorpersson Hello!


[1:06 PM]
kims Hi all

[1:06 PM]
sunettedimensions This chat we'll use the opportunity to reflect on our week past and see who we've been when it comes to changing ourselves in the expression of being more honest and clear with ourselves vs where we had the tendency to sugarcoat and suppress


[1:08 PM]
I have found this past week that there is also a fine line / tendency when it comes to "being direct, clear, honest and frank" - especially when it comes to others :slightly_smiling_face: we tend to think we need to be those expressions first when it comes to OTHERS and what can happen is:


[1:08 PM]
you can come across as inconsiderate and egotistical, even emotional

[1:09 PM]
kims This week I have been doing the job of three - and I have been very aware of stress rising in me, and within this I would be easy for me to snap at others that are giving me work and be too busy to acknowledge this or even notice - so I’ve made an effort to breathe and slow down, and I got it all done and very positive feedback


[1:09 PM]
carlton Hello

[1:09 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @kims


[1:10 PM]
So, herein a check in with everyone - ensuring to first apply this process WITH SELF, your relationship with you when you notice you are deceiving yourself and sugarcoating your own issues / problems with points inside yourself BEFORE trying to be direct, honest, clear and frank with others

[1:10 PM]
We first need to understand what all this means for ourselves before going out there with others

[1:11 PM]
viktorpersson Yes

[1:11 PM]
kims Yes I have been taking a breath and bringing myself here, making sure that I am clear within me and not in stress reaction, before I communicate

[1:12 PM]
randy cool kims...

[1:12 PM]
kims And I have had others say how calm I was and handled it well

[1:12 PM]
leilazm With me I found that my cake has double layer of frosting/coating - where there's me as the cake as my actual experience, then a sourcoat and then a sugarcoat on top. Where I make things worse for myself and then sugarcoat THAT experience but dont actually go to the core

[1:12 PM]
sunettedimensions Has anyone else ever experienced that awkward moment when you know you were a bit to crass / direct with a person and didn't first look at all the points - like being TOO HONEST direct frank so to speak lol

[1:12 PM]
carlton Cool kims

[1:12 PM]
kims But it took conscious effort in every moment to stay here/present

[1:12 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @kims

[1:13 PM]
randy pausing to take that breath and calm yourself in that moment certainly helps


[1:13 PM]
kims Yes @sunettedimensions - someone recently told another that I ‘hurt their feelings’ because I was not sensitive enough

[1:14 PM]
In that when this person was in an emotional reaction I was ‘uncaring’

[1:14 PM]
ingrids for sure @sunettedimensions

[1:14 PM]
randy haven't done that in a while @sunettedimensions, but certainly had a history of being a bit too direct with people

[1:14 PM]
sunettedimensions Well, there can be that point of overreacting from another, where you may have been just the right amount of clear, but they reacted

[1:14 PM]
leilazm yes I've had that where I go into a 'cmon this should be obvious' type of thing - not considering where the other person is at

[1:15 PM]
randy not you @leilazm

[1:15 PM]
lol

[1:15 PM]
sunettedimensions So @kims has to do with you being sure within yourself when you spoke that you were as basic clear direct within all considerations. If you see you may have been slightly off alignment, reflect on the moment and learn

[1:15 PM]
viktorpersson Yes, I have experienced that in my work this week – when being too upfront with clients as to how I think the court is going to judge – or what their chances are to win a case – some have become angry – so I have realized I have to be a little more gentle with them – because they still have their hopes

[1:15 PM]
ingrids yes @leilazm and finding it difficult to access if they really not see it or only resisting or not showing it is already understood

[1:17 PM]
sunettedimensions @randy how have you learned to change the point? What was the most significant point of change that stood out for you?

[1:17 PM]
kims Yes - I was not clear @sunettedimensions - I see that I was irritated and I apologised and made an effort to listen, but I see with them that it’s a fine line, as they are very emotional often, and others talk behind their back, so I was direct, but also aware of the audience and the fact that I might get some kudos fir being direct

[1:18 PM]
*for

[1:18 PM]
sunettedimensions Ah yes @leilazm indeed - allowed myself to cause myself quite a bit of frustration

[1:18 PM]
randy taking that pause - that breath - and really trying to assess where the person is coming from... trying to put myself into their shoes, so to speak @sunettedimensions

[1:18 PM]
sunettedimensions Changing the point to remembering and understanding their position, location in process, made for many better conversations and learned a lot about others, myself and created much better relationships


[1:19 PM]
kims Interestingly when I am direct in my readings - I am clear - and most of the time it is accepted

[1:19 PM]
ingrids and when a reaction is coming up to something I bring in, I easily start doubting afterwards because the outcome is not as how I prefered; so then I need to reasses if I was still in reaction within myself or that I was too direct or that I was clear and stable and the outcome could not be prevented


[1:19 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @kims

[1:20 PM]
randy your clients are expecting directness in that environment wouldn't you say kims?

[1:20 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @viktorpersson how's the change process in this point coming? Managing to catch on faster when you go into the experience?

[1:21 PM]
alyson I found my first day back at work quite a shock to the system and was aware of myself becoming very easily irritated and not as understanding of my my patients, it felt quite strange to have that experience come up, and had to do a quick few SF statements in between patients coming in to the room

[1:21 PM]
kims Yes - but there are some that walk out and slam the door- but I am usually clear in the point of direction in this regard

[1:22 PM]
viktorpersson I am getting better at reading the client to see where they are at – though have not been able to catch any 'experience' within being too upfront – however there might be an underlying rush/desire to move forward fast that I have not been aware of

[1:22 PM]
randy to be expected kims.... you may have told them something they didn't want to hear about themselves

[1:23 PM]
kims Yes @randy - I don’t tend to ‘flower it up’

[1:24 PM]
Not anymore anyway lol

[1:24 PM]
randy lol kims

[1:24 PM]
alyson I also have found an irritation coming up between me and my husband, which often happens when we have his mother staying with us, however on the whole as a group it has been a more harmonious experience and I have been more relaxed and comfortable in my body

[1:25 PM]
randy maybe that irritation went to work with you alyson

[1:26 PM]
causing you to lose patience with patients

[1:26 PM]
alyson Lol randy, yes!

[1:26 PM]
kims Cool that you are sharing this @alyson - cool to ‘see you’ ;)

[1:26 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @viktorpersson

[1:26 PM]
kims Lol like it @randy

[1:27 PM]
sunettedimensions @alyson getting back to work after a holiday can be challenging on many levels as one tend to go into a comfort zone of life, so will take a moment to reintegrate and find the balance again

[1:27 PM]
Klavdija Hiti I post one inappropriate picture on my FB and people give me a different reaction and now I see that problem is, that I don't know why I post that picture on wall and what I want to prove other and myself, but I see that we live in society with a lot of taboos. And I have them too. So, next time I must think why I want to post and what I want learn and not do only because I'm boring.

[1:27 PM]
sunettedimensions @kims with the client directness - it is a different you and expression you take on when with clients as opposed to everyday life

[1:28 PM]
alyson Yes exactly @sunettedimensions

[1:29 PM]
sunettedimensions So @kims have to get to know your directness in everyday life, not compare it to who you are when with clients nor try copy it

[1:30 PM]
Yes @Klavdija Hiti - when it comes to so many social groups, cultures and backgrounds in Facebook, have to be more considerate and cautious with sharing

[1:30 PM]
viktorpersson Yes that makes sense @sunettedimensions – when you are with clients I suppose you take on a 'role' and the real you is more protected – takes a back seat @kims

[1:30 PM]
kims Yes exactly Sunette, I am still learning to be equal and one with my reader persona

[1:30 PM]
valentin.rozman I have been today quite in a shock since during the day I received emails from by 4 different debit card providers that enable altcoin top-up that all cards have been blocked and my funds frozen because Visa ended agreement with the Wavecrest card issuer that they all were using and it will take several weeks before they will send users new cards. I have some backup solutions that I plan to apply to get sufficient funds for survival but it got me stressed quite a bit anyway. Some say that this action is connected with the Global Currency Reset and Revaluation that should start this Saturday and that even more disturbances in the banking system can be expected. This event really challenged me to remain calm and realise that I have enough food for the next several days to survive.

[1:30 PM]
kims Yes @viktorpersson - nicely put

[1:31 PM]
It has to be me in all moments

[1:31 PM]
randy indeed @viktorpersson, sometimes Im sure you can be direct with some of your clients, and they're fine with it, then others you need to "break the news" more softly

[1:32 PM]
sunettedimensions Whoah @valentin.rozman - well, all things considered you sound quite stable

[1:32 PM]
kims @valentin.rozman - I can relate to moments of. Fear as you did there

[1:32 PM]
viktorpersson Yes @randy – read them and see how stable they are and whether they are holding unto a lot of hope or not

[1:33 PM]
sunettedimensions Make sure you have someone there to support you through the financial side of it all - the banks are guiding you through what to do and how, make sure you follow the steps as stipulated - keep us updated @valentin.rozman


[1:34 PM]
kims @valentin.rozman - I lost a whole months wages once, because the bank didn’t pay out and kept my card - I had to wait 4 months to get the money back

[1:35 PM]
randy cool you were able to remain stable @valentin.rozman

[1:35 PM]
valentin.rozman @sunettedimensions luckily I expect some Ethereum payment that I can then exchange to Euros and send to my EuroCard debit card connected to bank in Germany and i hope that this option will still be enabled in the next several days.

[1:36 PM]
alyson I am also aware of acting quite “gung ho” at work in that I have decided to stop participating in a price war that started between several of the large corporations that provide a similar service to me as everyone dropped the surcharge for patients in the hope that they would put the other company out of business, so it has been a struggle to make any money in obstetrics for me, so I decided to bite the bullet and I wrote to all the midwives saying we would now have a small surcharge for those patients that could afford it and for those with a community benefit card it would still be free, so it will be interest to see what happens from here and I am working on sticking to my principles and not going in to fear

[1:36 PM]
valentin.rozman Sorry to hear that @kims

[1:36 PM]
kims Do you have money to cover your basics @valentin.rozman ?

[1:37 PM]
valentin.rozman I plan to have it by the middle of next week if all goes to plan @kims

[1:37 PM]
kims Cool

[1:38 PM]
alyson Wow Valentin, sorry to hear that

[1:39 PM]
sunettedimensions Cool @alyson

[1:39 PM]
Glad to hear @valentin.rozman

[1:39 PM]
kims I don’t have additional funds until after 25th @valentin.rozman - so I can send you some if you are stuck after then

[1:40 PM]
valentin.rozman Great that you found a way out of the pressing situation @alyson and there are definitely people ready to pay more for a good service and understand your situation.

[1:40 PM]
Klavdija Hiti My friend told me that he invest only money that he have more than only for survive and if you lost it, you don't broke because of it.

[1:41 PM]
leilazm you could even consider making a poster Alyson explaining why you ask for surcharge in terms of quality for yourself AND the patients etc

[1:41 PM]
kims But everyone is able to do that though @Klavdija Hiti

[1:41 PM]
Not yet anyway lol

[1:41 PM]
leilazm so that they also have context - turn it into a positive for yourself and your business

[1:41 PM]
kims Should read Not

[1:41 PM]
valentin.rozman I appreciate that @kims but situation is not yet so critical. In collaboration with the Earth Nation I am building a safety net and a new economic system where participants will soon be supported sufficiently.


[1:41 PM]
kims Not everyone can do that

[1:43 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes @Klavdija Hiti that is definitely a Golden Rule of investing. Best to invest only so much money as you are able to loose without effecting your current lifestyle.

[1:44 PM]
kims My chat just jumped back two days lol

[1:44 PM]
alyson Yes @leilazm, certainly would be good to have some explanation for patients in the waiting room, however we have to get their consent at booking so about receptionists will probably end up explaining directly with patients at booking, but a poster may assist, good idea

[1:44 PM]
Klavdija Hiti How I know situation Valentin don't have monthly income so he want find or earn money in that way, but this is not good for him (you), because think that this will be basic income, but for me is only extra money. Sorry Valentin.

[1:45 PM]
sunettedimensions Alrighty all, from sugarcoating to brushing the sugar off a bit TOO MUCH lol to finances -

[1:46 PM]
kims Lol @sunettedimensions

[1:46 PM]
sunettedimensions many dimensions here for us all to take with us in the week to come. Sure we can all look into and look out for when we tend to go a bit overboard with the directness, clarity and frankness, but

[1:46 PM]
valentin.rozman I am not fully understanding what you wanted to say @Klavdija Hiti

[1:46 PM]
sunettedimensions the best way to practice is with SELF FIRST, so do take this remembrance with you first and foremost:


[1:47 PM]
alyson Lol @sunettedimensions

[1:47 PM]
sunettedimensions apply these principles with your relationship with the mind, emotions, your everyday life actions - see what the words clarity, directness, honesty, frankness means for you - being it towards yourself


[1:48 PM]
Anyone here see points within yourself where you can be more direct, frank, clear and honest with yourself in moments?

[1:48 PM]
valentin.rozman Yes

[1:48 PM]
carlton Yes

[1:49 PM]
anna Oh for sure

[1:49 PM]
randy yes indeed @sunettedimensions

[1:49 PM]
sunettedimensions I'd like to give this a go for the week :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:49 PM]
Who's in

[1:49 PM]
viktorpersson Yes do see that

[1:49 PM]
randy I'm in

[1:49 PM]
kims Yes me

[1:49 PM]
carlton Me too

[1:50 PM]
alyson I’m in

[1:50 PM]
valentin.rozman Count me in

[1:50 PM]
viktorpersson In as well

[1:50 PM]
sunettedimensions Redefining and living the words frank, direct, clear and honest with self when you see you're being a bit too wishy washy with acceptances and allowances


[1:51 PM]
Great! Let's do this!

[1:51 PM]
We'll have another check in and sharing chat this coming week!

[1:51 PM]
@valentin.rozman all the best

[1:51 PM]
randy cool.

[1:51 PM]
carlton Cool

[1:51 PM]
valentin.rozman Thanks @sunettedimensions :slightly_smiling_face:

[1:51 PM]
sunettedimensions @alyson best to your work reintegration and @kims changing the directness point!

[1:52 PM]
@viktorpersson gauging clients better - enjoy!

[1:52 PM]
Speak next week all!

[1:52 PM]
viktorpersson See you!

[1:52 PM]
carlton Thanks all, @sunettedimensions bye

[1:52 PM]
Adrian cool - thanks all


[1:52 PM]
alyson Cool tip, thanks @sunettedimensions , will look at the word reintegration


[1:53 PM]
ingrids thanks all

[1:53 PM]
randy thanks all


[1:53 PM]
alyson Thanks everyone here and bye for now!


[1:55 PM]
valentin.rozman Thanks all and bye :slightly_smiling_face:



Raúl
Posts: 163
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: Checking in on self change progress going from Sugarcoating to direct self honesty and clarity - 05 January 2018

Postby Raúl » 07 Jan 2018, 15:10

I totally relate to this, recently my fother moved in with me, and instead of understanding him, having compassion, and not reacting to the fear he lives in, I basically inverted the situation and played god role, which is basically what he does to me, but I don't have to do that, because I want to be the living example of how commited I am with my own process, so I can see now that the "truth" I said was in fact me following the easy path of reactions because I still have very present his mind set, and a part of me helped him, but in the end, I got nothing but judge him and judge him
I am in too!!




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