As soon as I found out that they violated my trust, I felt like there was no need
to return the favour. I have realised, most things are just what people live up to
and I know, in myself
, that when I tell the truth, my mind is clear and I don't have to keep building things up with lies, because I haven't lied to myself and all this about 'family loyalty' it doesn't exist at all, it makes me feel proud and strong
, knowing that everyone just lives up to that, just because it is in their minds to do so. I am S L O W L Y
waking up and I am getting to know the true me, because my starting point wasn't for anyone to get into trouble, it was so it could end once and for all.
When people start lying, they convince themselves
that it is the truth, that is why it is good to be honest.
Thank you Sylvia!
A suggestion here is to first look at the situation not from your experience and history with the person starting point, but to see things devoid of the relationship you have with this person: if this person has committed an act that violates a form of agreement and that harms others and you are aware of it, telling the truth is then not an act to 'spite them back' because 'they violated your trust' but rather it is about speaking up because that will prevent further abuse.
Whenever we integrate our personal agendas with people in something like this, then our starting point of speaking up is not clear, it is based on 'wanting to spite back' or 'take revenge' or 'pay with the same coin' to another, which is not a clear starting point for doing something, ever. So as it's been said, focusing on yourself means first understanding that if you 'tell the truth' it is for the benefit it will have in a certain situation, not because you want to personally 'hurt back' another or make them aware that 'they violated your trust first' - so this is actually a point to self-forgive within you, whenever you integrate your personal relationship and history with another as the experiences you have accumulated toward them, which you use as a reason to do something.
This taints the actual process of 'telling the truth' as in that, there is an agenda of you wanting to 'do the same to them' as you have felt they've done onto you - this is what is suggested to not follow through with, as it then becomes a personal game of spitefulness instead of simply focusing on clarifying and making a point of abuse or potential harm known so that it can be stopped and so prevent further problems, such as further theft in this case. The problem arises where you actually use this knowledge to spite the person back, there it becomes a personal vendetta or 'vengeance' of sorts which becomes a point that one then has to also work on first, to ensure that whenever you speak up about something it is not emerging from a desire to 'spite' someone or to 'expose them because they have exposed you' somehow
So, I would actually suggest to write answers to the questions Sylvia has placed here, to see where you have also done something similar to others that you are currently judging as 'having done something to you.' As humans we are very prone to delegating our responsibility to others through blame, where we avoid looking at what we have done, what we have also participated in that was self-dishonest.
So the idea of 'returning the favor' is where the power games and self dishonest ways are perpetuated. So, telling some truth has to come from the starting point of how it will benefit everyone with it, and ensure that it is not to spite anyone back - as that is then a point to first clarify and self-forgive within you.
Another point is to consider that whenever we create a 'positive' experience based on how we judge others, we create only another character within us, such as 'feeling proud and strong' in relation to how you judge/see everyone else, even if it is 'true' or what most people actually do, to develop real pride and strength is not something that exists in relation to 'how you see others' - these are words that you can learn how to actually live and express as you walk in this process - but I can tell you: they are not an experience that makes you FEEL good at all - that is energy, that is the mind and that is a polarity created to 'feel superior' to everyone else, which leads us back to separation, to inequality, to self-dishonesty.
I used to very much feel that 'Knew better' than most people even more so when beginning this process of self-honesty wherein I believed that because I understood 'more' then everyone else was just 'living a lie' and in that, of course I then realized that I had ALSO created a character to 'feel good/feel superior' with my new understanding, without realizing how I was creating another character/personality, an idea of myself being 'over that/having transcended the lies/ being superior' in relation to others.
So, it is cool if you do see that the starting point was to 'end it for once and for all' - to clear any personal vendettas, and to ensure that you also understand how this is a process wherein yes one slowly but surely as you walk through, can get to see what real strength, real self-support, real stability can be established by you as you go applying the principles of doing what is best for all, taking responsibility for your own mind/experiences, which is what self-honesty is about: getting to understand the starting point and origin of all the thoughts and experiences you participate in on a daily basis, and not 'trust' them as a fact, but rather use the tools of self-support to understand them, to learn how to see yourself as your thoughts, emotions, feelings so that you can stop trusting them as the only thing 'you really are' and instead, use them as a compass to ask yourself:
what is it that I actually want to live in my life?
Who do I really want to be, how do I actually want to live?
Am I willing to commit myself to support me?
Am I genuinely willing to take responsibility for my own experiences and ensure that I stand by principle in my life?
So self-honesty is something different from 'honesty' as in just telling the truth, that you will also be able to understand more as you walk in this process, however it is a cool starting point for you to start seeing where you lie to yourself, where you've lived as a lie in itself and in that gather further perspectives to not only see 'others' as the 'only ones living a lie' because we all have lived AS lies - here i share a blog I wrote on this topic
"we have never been alive, it’s only been systems that we’ve become and played without a question, because of accepting fear as a real limitation to see behind the scenes and go backstage to reflect upon the roles, to see, realize and understand why we are putting up this show for and if it is in fact something that is best for all. None of our lives have lead to a best for all outcome, nothing in this world is currently set to support actual life, but only overcome the obstacles that we created in the first place, only mitigate the consequences that we created and inflicted upon ourselves as a limitation, as ‘who we are’ from the beginning, only create a good experience to ‘help those in need’ while we’ve been the ones that neglected the unconditional support to all in the first place." https://marlenvargasdelrazo.wordpress.c ... real-then/
Enjoy getting to know yourself