Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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Joseph Stein
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Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

Post by Joseph Stein »

Hi I am blogging for sponsorship so I will be posting all of my writings and relevant things to process in this thread.
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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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Hey everyone. Im writing this right now because I watched "the design of giving up" and I have a problem with giving up and keeping consistency of and with self forgiveness. Well in the video the design of giving up says to walkthrough giving up. Like standing up and not giving into the mind and all that false stuff, and to be here as yourself and not allowing this act of abuse to exsist within you. So right now Im doing just that....so I thought I would share this and write down something without much editing because today I noticed something and its that Im sick and tired of just watching everything and not doing anything thats actually effective because I "give up". I mean because I SEE everything and I hear the message of desteni and it has changed everything forever for me. I notice alot of thoughts/feelings/emotions and abuse and noticing how the system works but I give up. NOW I have to live with the fact thatdw I KNOW whats going on and I still dont do anything about it thats effective. I have done this so many times. So I am making a stand, I am going all out on walking through giving up NO MATTER WHAT. Whatever stands in my way I will walk through it. I will be what directs me, not something thats fucking fake and then sit by and be its slave. Real shit is happening for the world and honestly it is selfish of me to be in my minds world of "giving up" and then to do nothing about it. I am disgusted. I AM PLUS ONE FOR LIFE and I am making a decision for me by me as the directive principle to walk through this point of "giving up".
Joseph Stein

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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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So Im working on the point of giving up and its funny because giving up doesnt really exist lol. When I watched the video " the design of giving up" the design of giving up says that it doesnt exist and I couldnt see that. I couldnt see how it is actually fake. Then I remembered when I got drunk one time, and I wasnt acting all like how people act like when they drink. Like they get clumsy and act like they got no control and like they cant function and shit like that. So I mean I was the same before and after I drank. I didnt see things differently at all. I didnt give into the character of being drunk and like I wasnt charging the mind. So after I did this and experienced this I knew being "drunk" was fake. I mean I actually walked through this point. You know I was in breath as the directive principle. So after remembering me walking through this point I was now able to see how "giving up" doesnt actually exist. If you are with/in breath and as the directive principle something like being drunk and giving up cant exist and if your mind moves to that, you notice that you are actually making the decision to give into the mind consciousness system and become its slave and live and exist as what you are giving into which is fake from the fucking starting point. So this was pretty cool realizing this and interesting because then its like you are amazed at how delusional people are and for me it was like "what the fuck?".

So I am still walking through "giving up" and not giving into it. I am noticing how it affects me and my life and my relationships and maybe I will write about that...
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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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So today i was confronted by myself, when I was walking through my kitchen and I glanced over at the dishes. They were full. So normally I dont do the dishes because I am lazy and so my brother or someone else does them. When that happens I feel like and asshole because, I mean I never do the dishes. Someone else always does. So letting someone else do the dishes I am not facing myself because I know I should contribute but its more about me turning what I know into action. Thats my real problem but I am working on it. So when I look at the dishes I see an opportunity to expand myself because I have a reaction of me hiding/avoiding myself by not doing the dishes and its not a nice experience seeing an opportunity to expand andnot take it and then having to live with that. I could apply this to many, many things in my life but I will keep it simple and slowy but surely to accumulate and develop consistency, dicipline, and will.
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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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I remember when I was the cool guy in school and I had lots of friends, I was taking a fighting class called Nightbreed in which I was the best student. I had been very involved in the Law of Attraction, I was reading books by Dan Milman and I was becoming a peaceful warrior....was getting great grades in school and I had money, which means I wasnt worried about surviving. Oh yeah! I forgot--I was a lightworker. So shit was great. But then things took a turn. Not fast at all but everything just kept getting worse and worse and worse. So okay all that happened and everything that I just wrote above was gone. I kind of gave up on everything and just lived trying to get the next high. I was either depressed, angry, suicidal or in self judgement. I remember me knowing that I was creating my life and that it was my responsibility 100% of the way and any reasons or justifications as to why its not my responsibility 100% is bullshit, in which I am trying to hide from myself and not face what I have created. So that made it worse...or actually why I had the suicidal, depression, anger, and self judgement thoughts/feelings/emotions in the first place because of what I learned from Nightbreed and Dan Milman. From Dan Milman I learned how to turn knowledge into action and made me realize my responsibility for my life.(take responsibility for everything that happens to oneself and not point any fingers) Nightbreed taight me a little bit of the abuse in the world and also got me exposed to dealing with fear.( Man I loved that class lol.) So when everything went from good to bad with me. Most of the bullshit went away. Like love,light,meditation,lucid dreaming,energy,hope,posivitive thinking ect. ect. but I kept certain parts of myself I think....I am sure because I didnt kill myself because of fake thoughts in the mind. HAHA! But I still wasnt applying myself. I couldnt find out why. I mean it felt like something was draining my energy constently like all the fucking time. But I have been working on it and I realized that I am in fact not my mind. The mind is a hassle,seperation,bullshit ect. and I am creating that so I just want to stop it because its simply not worth it. I also realize that I was using my memory of when everything was great for me and that I compare myself to my memory of myself when everything was great.

This process is the greatest thing I could ever do for myself. Actually walking it step by step is amazing. I'm slowly accumulating myself effectively and I am walking the results. I am doing things now that I could have never done without self honesty. Its real change and real time, moving in a way that is best for all.
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Joseph Stein
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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Okay theres this point I seen thats pretty cool while looking at the point of why I want to work out. So mainly I wanted to work out because I wanted girls to find me more attractive and I wanted to feel better about myself and feel more special and greater than others. Immediately I knew that that was my ego. So I applied SF on those points. After that I found that I still wanted to work out because I dont do anything all day.lol. While looking at it that way I did my best to not let any thoughts/feeling/emotions to arise from the point of wanting to be more special and be like "Hey look at me I'm better than you because I look better!". So when I was doing this I was thinking well I know that there is still a point in me that makes me want to work out. So again I went back to make sure that that the point of why I still wanted to work out wasnt the point of me wanting to attract girls and be more special ect. To make sure I forgave myself on the WHOLE construct of that and that I didnt miss any points. So after that I still wanted to work out but now the point was for me to just get physical because I dont do anything. But I still found that to be, if you want to call it "useless". Like why should I let that affect the way I feel and think. Why should me not working out influence ME. So then I started thinking of process and stuff and remembering stuff from interviews and investigations from others on points. Remembering from vlogs and blogs. So then I noticed that if I keep going.....say like I looked into the point of working out because I wanted to be more attractive and then working out because I dont do anything and then why should I let that influence me. Then say........why should I let influence me about me noticing what was influencing me LOLOL and on and on and on. Right then and there I knew I was being ridiculous and dumb and fucking myself getting my mind all jumbled up. So I STOPPED that because if I kept going down and looking at it that way I would end up becoming completely detached from life and people and just sit in a dark room hahahaha. So I went back o the point of me want to get physical! and I started thinking how can working out help me in my process...like support what process is. Then I was like YES I GOT IT NOW. By working out it will help me to develop consistency and determination because I lack that in terms of using the tools Desteni presents and staying active on the forums. Also I get to a point of laziness and working out will help me with that also. Another thing is that to see the results of working out takes TIME. Process is a process. REMEMBER THAT!!! Yet another plus to working out is that when you bench press or do curls or anything kind of weight lifting work out, your cells need oxygen so you need to breathe and I can focus on my breath while working out.
So now the point of me working out is to support me in process.....which is FUCKING AWESOME. Simply for process and nothing more. =)
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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So I have just looked at the point of masturbation. Why is exists, what is really happening, how fucked up it is, and why I will no longer accept this act in my life.
Okay so masturbation has to do with the points of attainment, addiction, and desire.

So when we are growing up we are taught to feed this system to keep it in power without any effort at all... From the beginning you are taught to exist within the polarity of less and more. They support eachother. So if you do the very act of desiring something, that means that you have accepted yourself to be less. Because desiring something means you want to be more, you want more. Now I have desired sex since I was very little. Always thinking about it and wanting it. So I had sex...with my right hand. lol weird to say but it is what happened and what I did. So now that was my attainment to something I wanted and desired. Doing that is like I generated this energetic experience to attain something that I desired. So I still desire this and I still want to have sex. Why? because energy dont last. I must keep generating this energetic experience. Okay so now an addiction is developed. Which from my perspective is the most fucked up part about this. Why? because what is really going on here? Its like I am enslaving myself to this deliberately. Because energy doesnt last. I keep myself in the same place. I am chasing this energetic experience forever. Because I have to keep on masturbating to get "my fix" because of my desire to have sex ALL because I have accepted and allowed the point of polarity to exist as less and more. Of attainment. Everytime I masturbate I feed the system, I give it power over me, and I just fucked myself by keeping myself within a cycle that NEVER ends. Quite exhuasting experience. So fucked up because before noticing this I thought masturbating was so great and felt SO GOOD and that I was releasing stress because I would masturbate when I was feeling low. I mean ofcourse I did it other times but still I wanted to FEEL that feeling. I wanted to keep it having power over me and keep myself enslaved, keep myself in the exact same spot. I mean talk about being mind fucked....
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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Okay I noticed that you shouldnt feel bad about what you have and can do and to feel good about it either. I noticed this when I was out by the river with my dad late at night. I have had a vast problem with this in the past because I felt guilty for having a fortunate life style while others have it much much harder and tougher. Im not sure where this point originated, I am still investigating it but I would be so hard on myself for having fortunate experiences and fortunate things avaliable to me. You know like a house, food, clean water, and many other choices I have because of money. Others dont have these forunate things just because of a random place they were born into. They had no choice to be born into the certain life style such as, the certain religion, the certain ethnicity, the certain parents ect.It is literally like their life is already laid out for them and thats what they have to life which is so fucked up. So I noticed that you shouldnt feel bad and beat yourself up for what you have because weather you are born in the slums or in a millioniares mansion it was not a choice. Ofcourse people in slums are focused to much on surviving and have it very hard and can find the words " dont beat yourself up for what you have" easy to say but not to live but in the system that governs the world thats how it is. Some people have it ALL and some have NOTHING. It is very important we change this system to equality with an equal money system because it will end all of the abuse and suffering in this world.

So I was very hard on myself for having, basically money. I felt very unworthy and undeserving. For beating myself up and being hard on myself I was just basing myself as who I am as my pre programmed life. Which I had no control of. I mean I did have control weather to follow this pre programmed life or not. I could either accept and allow this or have common sense.....We are all responsible for the way things are and its our responsiblity to stop ourselves first, get everyone else to stop and then this ends for good. So basically I noticed I am not this pre programmed life and to not base myself as who I am as this pre programmed life. You know and to use what you have practically and effectively. I mean that is if you have anything to being with...... So when I noticed this I "felt" "no feeling", you know like I was just being and I was lighter and like a great amount of stress and weight was lifted off of my shoulders. So now whenever I start basing myself as who I am as this pre programmed life I stop ,breathe, and apply SF.
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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Hey everyone. My internet went out for awhile, so I couldnt write my realizations and relevant things to process.

Okay so a couple of days ago me and my older brother, who I used to despise and hate and feel pity for him and just feel so much more superior to him, we got in a physical fight. My backchat on this was going on for quite awhile on this one point of where when we were little kids he would take advantage of his age over me and abused me physically and verbally and it got to the point of where there was nothing I could do, so he basically did what he wanted when he wanted....with me. Like for example I remember he would give me his collection of pokemon cards and then take them away from me and this same incident happened various times and then he ended up giving them away to my cousin and I was furious. I did try to fight back this one particular time when I was 12 and he was 19(whoa just noticed something kinda freaky and maybe something I should look into but I will tell you about that later in this writing, maybe its nothing)and just as usuall he was doing something so piss me off. I dont remember exactly what it was but he was pressing my buttons and it was really getting to me and I got so fucking mad I stood up infront of him and his "gangster" friends and I took action....lol there was a cup on his dresser and I grabed it and bluntly spilled it all over his bed. He then knocked me out for about 3 seconds and was throwing me around like a rag doll. lmao. Like the reason he hit me is because he was sick of me acting like I thought I could do whatever I wanted. So that was that.

So my backchat on that me hating my brother and thinking he is a piece of shit has been going on for A LONG time, but the backchat of me hating him specifically for the fact the that I was helpless and him walking all over me and everyone began about a week and a half before this fight we had. So thats how long it took for it to posses me.... I remember the backchat just going on and on saying " this motherfucker thinks hes the shit and hes the MAN of the house and that he runs shit around here and everyone living here has kiss his ass when he hasnt paid fucking rent or any bills for 5 fucking years and he doesnt even take care of his two fucking dogs." Now I am 19 and hes 26 about to be 27, and thats was I found kind of strange and freaky that he hit me when he was 19 and now Im fighting him when im 19 but like I said maybe its nothing. So yeah that was the backchat. So hes cleaning something in the house or doing something but before he started he put a movie on and I wanted to play my game. Now back when we were kids I came home from school turned on the game, went to the bathroom, came out and he was on it and then I started to tell him to get of because I put it on for me. Then he starts yelling "I aint fucking waiting till he gets done doing his fucking shit because I want to play the game" and like i said before there was nothing I could do. SO back to when he put in the movie before starting to clean. Im remembering that incident and my backchat has been running wild for a week and a half so I start thinking "Im playing my fucking game and I dont give a damn, Im ready to fight and Im not stopping" so literally right after I start playing my game for like 10 seconds he come in "I was going to watch a movie" and I said "I thought you were doing something" and he says "yeah well im done so you can take your game to the living room" and I said "you can take your movie to the living room" so then he walks up and turns off my game. So then we both became a slave to eachother to the situation and to mind consciousness systems. So we're fighting and while this was happening we were yelling at each other saying things we have done for the family and how we suffered for it and how the other is a piece of shit and ect. ect. Like we were trying to prove to eachother whose more special and whose more superior and whose better. So after a while of fighting I started remembering Self forgiveness and self honesty and self responsibility so I took off walking.I started looking into the situation that happened taking responsibility for it completely, looking at the backchat and the memories then I started doing self forgiveness. So after that about a day after that actually I looked into it more, I looked at the WHOLE contruct of it got to the bottom of it and did self forgiveness.

Well my battery is about dead so I cant write anymore on this. I will when its charged lol so I guess stay tuned.
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Re: Joseph S (blogging for sponsorship)

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Alright my battery is charged lol.

So I started looking at the source of my backchat on my brother which I explained what it was and what it had to do with. I found that I felt very much more superior to him because of the way hey interprets information and knowledge. For example Me and my brother and my friend who speaks spanish and my sisters boyfriend were talking about springbreak and that its all about sex and stuff and its crazy. So my sisters boyfriend says "yeah man I was there for four days and I got laid every night" so my brother starts talking in spanish to my friend to interpret it to him so that he knows what we are talking about and my brother says "he said in spring break he got laid four times in one day" and it was just shit like that make me react and backchat would be running wild. I mean this is only one case to, I have seen my brother turn stories completely around because of the way he interprets information and knowledge and it was very often too. Also he took a test to see "what was wrong with him" in a "mental" way to see "where he is at at an educational level" and the results came back saying that all of his skills; math, reading, writing, ect. ect. was at a 5th grade level and hes about to be 27. So from this one point alone I thought myself to be so much more superior to him because when I was in high school I had almost straight A's and for me it was easy shit you know. I felt like I wasnt being challenged enough. So like I said I thought of myself to be way more superior to him. So then I started to look at how I was equal to him because with my previous investigations on judgements about people and backchat I realized that so far ALL of it that I judge and react in backchat to, that I do the exact same act but because of my ego being in the way I am right and the other people are wrong. There would be arguement between me and him and I would prove him so wrong in the arguement but it didnt matter he still thought he was right and above I just showed how I did the same thing. Also with interpreting information and knowledge based upon how we view the world with our beliefs ect.,but just because more people are more closely related to my views than my brothers I am right and he is wrong and because the way my view works with and for the system and his doesnt, again I am right and he is wrong. BUT WE ARE BOTH DOING THE SAME THING! and out of all this I created a energetic experience of hate,anger,pity,pure disgustedness, ect. because I wasnt able to look past my gigantic ego. You know after looking at this and investigating this and being self honest and doing self forgiveness and taking responsibility for everything that happened I realized once again that I am one and equal to him. Very interesting how backchat and judgement work. I have been working on realizing what being equal and one really means through self realization and its like becoming automatic and I dont have to look so much and so hard to see it.

So thats my share of process in awhile,hope this assists anyone in anyway and hope you see what I see/seen through this experience and self investigation
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