Hi Tom -
If you haven't already, suggest to check out this article by
Jack in relation to Self-Forgiveness on Sleeping
There are a few points within your last post to take a look at:
The main point of concern for me is that I don't really want to get up. I lay in bed, try to sleep some more (which I don't really need) or just escape into mind. Contrary at night instead of going to sleep at a proper time I try to do whatever I can to delay it. I try to not go to bed as I would not like a new day to start. I think I might feel like I am not tired enough or exhausted after the whole day and therefor I do not deserve to regenerate the body.
Suggest to investigate this with a more depth. For example, ask yourself self-honestly:
Why don't I want to get up in the morning?
What are the thoughts that arise in the mornings that deter me being the self-directive principle of my life, as self-movement - I wake, I breathe, I move?
What is it that I'm trying to escape from?
What am I currently experiencing in myself/my world/my reality that is effecting my sleeping patterns?
Why do I dread starting another day?
Why do I feel like I don't 'deserve' to regenerate my body?
Why am I allowing my mind to decide for me, thought the act of thinking, how to support my body?
This will give you specific insight/understanding into what it precisely is that you are accepting and allowing yourself to participate in, so that you can then be more specific/precise in your self-forgiveness/self-corrective application. When we are broad/foggy in our writing as to what is in fact going on with us, then we won't be able to clearly see how to support ourselves effectively to actually step out of the pattern that is busy playing out, and as such we will continue giving our self-directive power away to that pattern, which is not recommended.
That is why I need to push myself to regular sleeping and make my waking up process smooth and pleasant. I do not want to fail just at the beginning of the day and enter the whole day with a burden of failure. I am not going to be late all the time and I don't want to be recognized as a person that is always late. This is no example to give. I am here to birth myself as a responsible being and this kind of behavior is unacceptable. Whole my life I was late somewhere and I say no more.
Ok, cool - so how exactly are you going to correct this point?
Will you make a daily schedule for yourself? Will you set up a point for yourself, wherein you ensure that you get x amount of hours a sleep a night?
Also, why do you want your waking up to be 'pleasant'? As that is an expectation for a certain experience, that will eventually lead to a let down if it is based on energy. Waking up is waking up, simple as that. It doesn't need to be pleasant, and it doesn't need to be shitty - it's simply a point of waking up, breathe, move. No need for thoughts or experiences.
You must decide for yourself how you will move yourself, not already creating ideas of waking up being pleasant, or that if you don't wake up pleasant, you will have thus then 'failed' the entire day - I mean, that's exhausting. It's okay if you wake up not feeling cool, but just realize that you can stop that in one breathe - gone - stopped - it doesn't haven't to be a point that you allow to become a burden through your whole day. That's abdicating yourself to energy, instead of you deciding for yourself how your day will be.
What if you were recognized as a person who was always late? Then what? What does that mean? Anything?
Yes, it may not be a cool example, but if you are 'changing' you for others, then that isn't real change, but only change so that you don't look a certain way for others - that's fear, plain and simple - fear of what people will think of you. So, the starting point is separation, not you moving you to ensure you are at where you require to be at, on time, as a point of self-responsibility/self-accountability.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to continuously establish myself as a lazy person by fueling it with being late.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not go to sleep when I want it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not get up when I want it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be the directive principal of myself within sleeping. I retake this responsibility from my mind forward on.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be punctual.
Again, suggest to be more specific and direct in your self-forgiveness statements here. Really get down to the crux of the 'issue' that you're accepting and allowing.
Also, suggest to not base your self-forgiveness on 'want' - for example: I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not get up when I want.
Instead, you can write it as:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remain in bed when I wake up, postponing my day by/through participating in thoughts/emotions, instead of immediately directing myself to pull back the covers and step out of bed to begin my day breath by breath - here.
So, would be cool for you to share more about this point here, and to walk it thought to correction.