Where do you React to Problems?

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
Matti Freeman
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Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 22:40

Where do you React to Problems?

Postby Matti Freeman » 17 Sep 2017, 11:07

Read this blog and then feel free to investigate and share - where you do react to problems in day to day life and relationships even small things like equipment not working properly, and actually go into anger, righteousness, blame? What did you miss or not understand about the problem? What new solutions and self applications emerged through assisting and supporting yourself to investigate the problem rather than reacting to it?

Desteni Life Hack: Why do we react to problems?
http://www.matterfreeman.com/2017/09/de ... ct-to.html

Why do we as people tend to react to problems where 'standing up' for something gets turned into a conflict, fight, finger pointing, spitefulness, and even violence?

I've found that when I react to a problem it's because I don't yet fully see and understand the true nature of the problem or the solution - but I've latched onto what I believe the ONLY solution is to what I believe is the ONLY problem - and then when others don't comply with 'my solution' - I feel powerless because I'm unable to implement what I believe is the ONLY solution to the ONLY problem.

So what I find effective in relation to such situations where I recognize this kind of reaction is happening in me, is to remind myself - hey, there's simply more to this problem, and to the solution, than I believe or perceive there is. How can I assist and support myself to better understand more dimensions of this problem? How can I assist and support myself to become more Equal to the problem through understanding, so that I don't feel like I'm always disempowered and 'less than' the problem?

Because when I can stand Equal with the problem through understanding how it was created, then I can stop JUDGING the problem, and I can also then stop judging those who are directly participating in the problem - and more easily stand as ONE with them - as a fellow human, rather than wanting to attack and spite them. I can then more easily focus on investigating solutions by looking at the root problems.

So, in short, what I've found is that when I'm reacting to a problem - I have not yet stood Equal with the underlying root causes of the problem - and thus I'm not yet seeing how to actually give practical Direction to myself in relation to Solutions.

Self Forgiveness and Self Commitment Statements:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that when I'm reacting and becoming emotional or enraged or wanting to attack people because of a problem I see - that is showing me that I'm not yet seeing the real underlying cause of the problem or the real solution to the problem.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that when I understand how something works and I see the practical solution - then I don't react and become emotionally charged. Or if I do initially, I'm able to stabilize myself and then proceed to the solution. Like a mechanic who understands an engine - if the engine fails, then he can investigate and see WHY, and also see the solution - see how to give direction to himself. And in this he can also support others to learn how to give direction to the problem. It's the same with Humans and the mind and behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try and fight conflict with more conflict, instead of seeing and realizing that within this I am participating in the exact same principle that I am fighting against - just with different words and a different form of righteousness.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that the experience of righteousness does not mean I am right - it means I have defined myself within only what I believe to be best -- but if I actually saw what was Best - then I would see what is best for ALL and I would not be reacting and wanting to attack and spite others.

I commit myself to remind myself that my reactions to problems are a gift that can support me to learn more about myself.

I commit myself to remind myself that when I understand something at a practical level, then I can be level headed and see solutions that I otherwise would not have seen because I was too busy being possessed by the storm of my emotions.

I commit myself to remind myself that yes, I do have time to assist and support myself to sit down and write about what I'm experiencing so I can make sense of what I'm reacting to and bring myself back to being solution oriented rather than fighting oriented.

I commit myself to Write about what I'm experiencing and push myself to be honest with myself about when I don't actually understand a problem or a solution - so I don't fall into the trap of righteousness.

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Re: Where do you React to Problems?

Postby SunetteSpies » 16 Nov 2017, 16:37

I encountered this post by Matti - very much in alignment with a Public Chat I had together with a few individuals. In the chat we explored a 'fighting scene', more an martial arts engagement, in the movie "Birth of the Dragon" and discussed the dynamic between the two actors in terms of what their characters / personalities represent in the scene. Together with what we can take with us in our mind and life processes.
Do check it out here - viewtopic.php?f=152&p=68187#p68187 and expand your definition and understanding of the word(s) "inner conflict / fighting with parts of yourself in your own mind when in a moment of inner dialogue, emotions, thoughts etc. How self intimacy plays a role in supporting you in this process of INTO-ME-I-SEE (intimacy) - seeing into, seeing your self potential / the best of you as you work to understand, forgive and change the things in your own mind you react to, instead of fighting with them.

A dimension that opened in the chat, but didn't have a moment to discuss was opening up the point of redefining the word (our inner relationship with the word) and redefining our living (how we live / express the word) when it comes to FIGHT / FIGHTING. In so doing, essentially redefining ourSELVES in thought, word and deed when it comes to who we are in a moment of when 'wanting to fight'/ being confronted with a form of 'fighting'. Here is an excerpt of the chat:
sunettedimensions Don't so much want to refer to it as a 'fighting scene' though - more the martial arts scene, even though the Bruce character was emotional, the moment was quite directed through the martial arts and the other (actor). So, interestingly enough, a take on 'fighting' can be opened here - is it "fighting" if one is directing / remaining stable expressing an art when the other is emotional and exerting that? We'll get to this...From <viewtopic.php?f=152&p=68187>

The context within which I asked the question was referring to the martial scene at the end of the movie "Birth of the Dragon" (links provided in the public chat). Herein, the two actors are displaying a moment with martial arts - yet, actor one is emotional with an intension to FIGHT AGAINST actor two. Actor two is remaining calm, stable, centered and expressing himself through the technique within martial arts' true purpose and meaning - whilst defending himself where and as necessary. In this dynamic, actor two was in the process of using martial arts to TEACH / SHOW / GUIDE actor one (who was emotionally fighting) towards an deeper inner realization, understanding. Essentially, this was only a fight from actor one's starting point - who became that emotion and stance from the beginning of movie.
The definition of 'fighting' actor one took on was 'proving something, ego, competition, mixed emotions and jealousy'. Actor two's starting point was expressing, being himself - the depth of serenity, peace, calm, stability, timelessness, presence and within that teaching, through SHOWING / EXPRESSING himself in martial arts. Actor two was showing / teaching actor one his potential within himself. Actor two was SHOWING / TEACHING actor one something he's seen and knows and has lived / proven inside himself. In doing so - actor two recognized that same quality of self and life in actor one. Actor one just needed to realize it inside himself.
One can even have a look at the dimension of why actor one ended up wanting to FIGHT actor two - FIGHTING AGAINST the truth of himself he has seen / noticed in actor two, on some level. Fighting because of jealousy and a cowardice of facing the truth within himself. Yet, consciousness energy / emotions can only last for so long - as can a reaction. Eventually it dissipates and one is faced with the truth / reality. One is either going to face the truth / reality and forgive the past / reaction - or remain in it and continue justifying one's emotional state while suppressing one's truth / potential / best one can be, because you simply cannot admit the truth, forgive yourself and change.

There are many dimensions to explore here. Let's take a look at what can be drawn from the above perspective of the movie and so from the movie itself to support one's process in the mind and in every day life (these dimensions are also discussed in-depth in the Atlanteans series done on the word FIGHTING):
- When we fight against ourselves, which is to react towards our own thoughts, inner dialogue, emotions in a way where we 'despise our own negative self' / that of ourselves which we feel wrong, bad, not good enough etc. about - it is in fact showing that we DO see our potential to change, we know we are able to change, we know how different we can be and become if we were to confront the negative / judged aspects of ourselves.
Yet, we alone within the secrets of our minds are deciding to give up and give in when the going gets tough in our minds and we are faced with the truth of ourselves we want to deny: the things coming up in our minds are parts of ourselves. Instead of embracing it and understanding it, we resist, fight and deny it.
- When we fight against ourselves / react towards ourselves - we are displaying a sense of cowardice within ourselves, because we are not willing to embrace and face parts of ourselves with understanding embrace and see what can be done to resolve the inner issues / problems / negativity into a best / better potential of self and living, but instead cower away, react, judge and fight. Herein we can look to redefining the words cowardice, strength within self. Look out for School of Ultimate Living videos to come!!!
- Emotional fighting with yourself and others doesn't make you strong, nor prove that you are strong as a person. It proves that you are in fact the 'weak' one for being aware of a potential within you and another, but instead of facing the facts, embracing the potential you see in yourself and others - you choose the path of emotion, jealousy, contempt, fighting, competing…and so much more.

The Atlanteans go further into explaining the dimension of 'fighting' we are currently participating in with our own minds and parts of ourselves, together with how to assist and support yourself in IDENTIFYING and DEFINING where within your self and life, towards whom, are you accepting and allowing this construct and experience to exist. They'll go further into how you can practically assist and support yourself to redefine the word 'fighting' in a way where it'll assist and support you in your process of becoming and living awareness. How understanding the nature of 'fighting' within you through the redefining process will support you to identify it easier in yourself and in your life when you access it / it gets triggered inside yourself on the emotional level - to enable your faster response in taking responsibility for it and CHANGE from a nature of fighting / fighting against to understanding, embracing and change!

Do look out for the Atlanteans recordings whilst you explore this dimension of fight / fighting against yourself on an emotional level towards yourself and others. Also! Do explore Matti's question within this post after reading his blog - very cool question and insight to explore indeed. Thank you so much Matti.

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