hey William! Great to see you around again!
I agree that it's definitely awesome that you decided to open up the point here as you saw that you were getting stuck in it trying to get through it yourself. It takes guts to reach out for support
I can relate to your experience in that a pattern that I have lived extensively in my life is to suppress my expression out of fear of how other people will react - fear of people pointing out my mistakes, fear of being seen as somehow a 'failure' in what I am trying to do/express/create. This pattern can create an overall experience of depression almost, like an experience of withdrawal where I will also physically just be less engaged and expressive, and consequently also write less blogs, make less vlogs and participate less in the group.
I have always understood that in this pattern there is a fear of rejection at play, wherein I very easily feel rejected or perceive that I am being rejected by people and/or groups of people that I walk with, like destonians. However what I recently realized is that the reason why this perception and experience of rejection so easily comes up within myself is because I have not given myself the chance to get to know people on a real level, through communication and participation, since I just tend to hold back within my expression. I realized that the more I keep quiet, choose not to express myself and participate, the more I am creating the experience as well as the fear of rejection because in fact I am busy rejecting myself by not allowing myself to communicate, express and engage. Quite the catch 22..
This pattern of self-suppression can then also create the perception that people are 'coming at you' or are 'judging you' when they want to point something out to you or provide support, which is an experience that mostly shows you how you have been pushing people as well as yourself away within and by suppressing yourself all this time. So the solution to this point, at least within my experience, is to just allow yourself to cross that threshold of fear and holding back when it comes to interacting, communicating and expressing and to allow yourself to, through communication, interaction and self-expression, get to know people and therein challenge how your mind perceives things (=through the eyes of judgment and separation).
From my perspective, it is very specific that you received these comments on your blog because it brought out this point for you to face in your process