Getting to a starting point

Share and ask your moments and experiences in random, unpredictable, sudden moments that happened to you - you'd like to understand. Whether it be during a discussion with someone and not understanding why certain thoughts / behaviours came up in you or another. Not understanding another's facial expression or even your own when looking in the mirror etc. So, this thread is dedicated to the everyday life moments we WONDER about but never ask.
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Getting to a starting point

Postby Arizona » 09 Feb 2017, 12:18

I notice whenever i'm inspired to try to change myself I start with thinking I can clean and take care little things I've been putting off, listing off things in my head I can do to start getting myself moving forward in a good direction, but I have done this so many times i'm here again doing it back on the desteni forum and back watching the various youtube videos presented by the group. I'm currently watching the entire bernard poolman playlist I found on youtube realizing I haven't ever really sat down and listened "properly" to these. Anyways i'm here again wanting to change myself after having continued in old and new abuse patterns while being again fed up with myself. I was able to physically speak many points in my life that I followed by saying I forgive myself for it and that felt good, I could feel something about it was right but I knew I needed to go deeper into these points and many points I've today thought of that I didn't say.

Trying to get to a starting point has been a repeating theme in my life I've even said to my family. Another thing is that I have so much abuse in my history that I know it will be a massive undertaking to go over them all. I've been doing this since I was very young, in fact my abuse has been going on since shortly after my earliest memories of childhood. Right now i'm not doing the dip lite course I started and I only got to the very first parts. Right now i'm just watching videos and more motivated than usual to take care of basic things like cleaning and taking better care of my animals and trying to act better to my family. I do want to start physically writing and I need to clear a space for me to be able to do so. Thanks for reading this, i'm not sure what I was trying to ask or express here.

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Re: Getting to a starting point

Postby Marlen » 09 Feb 2017, 17:33

It's definitely cool to come to the forum and share where you're at and what you've been doing as a decision to start supporting yourself. Those seemingly 'little' steps actually speak a lot about you and your starting point already which is that of starting to support yourself again.

In my case initially, I was also very much just watching and reading information - back in the day - but I knew that I also would have to actually get to apply all that I was hearing and reading from the Desteni material. So yes it wasn't that easy to get myself to write out self-forgiveness, because we are certainly not programmed to start 'writing ourselves as our mind in a supportive manner' it's like swimming against the tide you know? But I had to do it, I understood this was not part of 'my programming' but that I could direct myself to do it anyways, and so I did. It was 'odd' at first but with practice and consistency it has become part of who I am and how I straighten, clarify and support myself to lay out solutions and continually look at points or aspects to change, adapt, correct, let go of within myself/my life.

So, here suggestion, now that there's DIP Lite, best support you can give to yourself that will be a cool complement to what you are doing in terms of reading the info, watching videos etc. is to go developing your self-writing and integrating it to your new ways of supporting yourself.

The DIP Lite course is designed to precisely create and integrate that new writing habit in you, because it's designed to be a daily moment where you log into your account and do your writing as required there, it seems like a 'small step' but quite a substantial one in developing the most basic skills as self-writing, self forgiveness, self honesty and self-corrective statements where you will then go applying to your daily life these realizations and considerations into practical application, based on what you go observing of yourself throughout the course. So, you can take it step by step there

Another big point of support here is to not judge yourself for whatever point of abuse you've been living with or have continued in your life, it's everyone's ability to decide to stop, self forgive and change - and this actually involves first stopping judging ourselves for what we've become or who we have been, and realize that those aspects of ourselves are parts of us, are patterns, habits that yes we have lived out and for a long time - all of us, really - yet, that doesn't mean that we don't have the ability to self-forgive the judgment to that, and stand up and work on practical solutions to precisely change all of that which you know you don't want to continue living with as yourself.

That's the most important part here I'd say because sometimes it does sound contradictory that we want to change but we still judge ourselves in some aspect that we haven't changed for a long time, and that single point is precisely the one that we need to initially push through to realize that yes, the actual liberation from it is learning to take responsibility for my creation, for my patterns and habits that I know I can change if I do take the first steps to do so, which is how writing, learning to apply self forgiveness, laying out corrective statements and living the corrections as living words is the basic set of tools you'll need to direct yourself in your life.

So, as a conclusion, you are your starting point, you are deciding to start assisting yourself in the ways you've been doing, which is very cool - now you can continue giving the next steps to establish more of these self-supportive tools now as part of your habits, your daily activities if you will which you can test out/try out and see what the outcomes are with them.

Let us know if there's something that's not clear or that you'd like some expansion on.

Enjoy and cool for sharing this!

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Re: Getting to a starting point

Postby Kristina » 16 Feb 2017, 09:10

Cool sharing, Arizona - and I absolutely agree with what Marlen has shared here. To expand also in relation to seeing things you would like to start applying - seeing a list in your head, that is something you can actually start writing down. Make yourself a to-do list - get the ideas out of your head, and onto paper, right in front of you, so you can ground the idea more into physical reality, and from there - you direct yourself to do the things you would like to do. This also supports in organizing the information - where it's not just floating around in your mind, but rather more structured in a way that you can look at them, assess what is priority, and what you can practically get done.

And I suggest to include writing in your to-do list. Can even just be 10 min a day where you sit down with yourself, and simply start writing out what has been coming up within your mind - again here, the point is to ground yourself, and what's going on within you/your mind, into physical writing. So that is definitely a cool starting point... keeping it simple, yet still creating some new habits that are self-supportive.

Again, to echo Marlen's words - the DIP lite course is the best way to support in your structure of writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application, and where you learn how to become more specific and directive in your writing, but if you are not yet doing the course, don't let that stop you from creating the habit of writing. I also did have resistance to writing in the beginning, and actually started vlogging at first, which definitely revealed parts of myself I was hiding from myself, though I can say over the years writing has been the substantial point of support that grounds me and stabilizes.

So take it easy - keeping watching, and listening to the videos, keep coming to the forums, keep sharing yourself... because these are the first and important steps.

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