Yes, I can see that the self-decision to move into/as sex is 'clouded' within other uncertainties within my life related to money. Also, not sure if there are real consequences from not having had sex for a long time that are contributing to this sense of urgency to have sex or if I've just built it up in my mind that way. I did hear in a video a while back that that the body requires sex and I can see that it could be an opportunity to ground myself here. But I feel like, compared with others who have had sex regularly/semi-regularly during this long drought for me, I am not stable and ready to move into sex with ease.My suggestion would be that you make the decision to have or to not have sex PRINCIPLED – meaning – you DECIDE when you have sex or not – because you see that it would be supportive/best for all/common sense.
To me this seems to be the conflictive point that might be preventing you from actually moving into expression, so you can clarify for yourself who you are in sex and whether you decide to link it to a relationship or not and communicate about it with the other person, after all there are no set 'guidelines' of 'how it must be' - it's all about being frank and direct about where you're at, what you are willing to stand as in the context of having sex with another and have the other person become aware of it as well, that's my suggestion. So you can define whether it is a relationship situation or only a sex situation or if it's both and so through walking your own clarification around it, you might get to a clarity in relation to where you stand in the situation with the other person.I'd like to add that currently this person is assisting me enormously in a financial way. So, part of the looping pattern is that I will suppress sex with this person and then, afterwards, I will think about it and think, well NOW I should move on this point. Except then I can see that if I force the point as a matter of "principle" or to try to make up for suppressing it earlier, the timing/context might not be quite right and then what I am doing is possibly creating an awkward situation with this person where they no longer wish to house me. So then I think "well, sex isn't worth risking getting kicked out into the street so I better not ask now".
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