Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

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Nick
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Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Nick » 28 Jul 2014, 17:46

I am annoyed by people using the word cool and awesome.

Please look at HOW, WHEN and WHY you use the word cool and awesome. Ask yourself how, when and why you use the cool.

Awesome is when you are in awe of something.

Cool is ... what is cool? come on its such an easy word to sound cool. I see on the forum, cool realization, cool perspective, cool topic, writing.
When something is cool its showy. Some people sometimes write real stuff here and then some people comment that it is cool. Keep it real.

Cool people probably dislike me.



Michelle
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Michelle » 30 Jul 2014, 13:45

Nick,

If you can see, you wrote from a starting point of reaction. I would suggest you turn the tables back onto yourself and ask yourself why you were in reaction here. This forum is a place where we assist and support ourselves and others with the process of walking one's mind into self-change and self-awareness. I suggest you check your backchat and look into any grudges or reactions you are holding onto in relation to this forum and Desteni.

At first when I was new on the forum and kept seeing the word "cool" I reacted because to me that was an old term I defined to be from the 1990's, lol, and people around me in my life were not saying it. But then as I participated more in the forum I saw 'cool' was being used as a supportive word, like how I see writing 'cool' is like being able to stand in that person's shoes and be 'cool' with what they just said or did, if that makes sense.

So I see 'cool' and 'awesome' are words of support here on the forum. I show my support, or agreement with what has been said or done through those words.



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Anna
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Anna » 30 Jul 2014, 14:08

How we define words is a fascinating point, because two people can have completely different definitions of a word, where for example: for the one person the word is simply practical whereas to the other, there is a lot of ideas, beliefs or even memories and reactions related to the word. So when the first person speaks or writes the word as a practical statement, the other person will perceive it based on his or her conditioned definition - and conflict and misunderstanding may ensue. This is exactly what's causing so many conflicts and communication problems on a global level because we aren't in agreement about the words we speak. So Nick, exactly as Michelle said: if you see that you're having reactions to specific words or the way they are being used, what do you know? That you're seeing the word/context from within a personalized reaction - and not from common sense.

When I use the word cool, for example in the context of this forum, it is usually as a recognition of agreement, like: "I hear what you are saying and I support it" - and that's it. It doesn't mean or refer to anything more or less than that and there doesn't have to be any historical or cultural references attached to the word. The word itself does not contain the history for example and nor does it contain a 'charge' of negativity - all of that is what we as human beings condition into words.

What is then also so cool about this is that we can redefine and purify words and come together in equal agreements about the definitions of words, which is something that is imperative for us to also stand together as human beings in this world to make a real difference.

Cool support Michelle by the way.



Nick
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Nick » 30 Jul 2014, 19:30

Ah yes good reply's here.

Reactions.... So its good to speak my reaction right. So that you Michelle can reflect me, so that I notice what I do. I do not always know what I do.
Im used to speaking whats on my tongue. I need people to reflect me. But yes I understand what you mean, this process is to look at our own thoughts and behaviors.

I do not have the right to judge this forum cause I haven't red much yet. But I do feel like I have to speak what I feel about this forum. So Im not feeling the word 'cool'. I do not feel understood when someone says 'cool' to me, It feels like the one who is speaking it is shallow(which is not true), It feels like that one is somewhere in dreamland thinking everything is cool, it feels like that one wants to say something to be nice, feels like that one wants to support someone to be nice.
Nice does not feel real to me. People are often nice to put the other in a comfortable feeling, for a comfortable feeling for the one that is nice and a comfortable feeling for the who is being nice'st. And with that nice comes with lies. So many people these days are like lets all be nice to each other because no one likes to be hurt. With that truth gets, ignored, denied, bend, vague, pushed back. And with that we start to live in delusions, in lies.
So I don't really like people who are only nice. So I react on people who are being nice just to be nice because they don't even know anymore why they are being nice. Its not that I blame them, but its also not that I want to stimulate this.

I wanna break things down. Wanna break down why we say the things we say. Cool does not feel real to me so I react.

Anna: what do you know? That you're seeing the word/context from within a personalized reaction - and not from common sense.

I discovered in my life what I just wrote above. And I react when I have a dislike for things or when something does not feel clean, truthful to me. What do you know to say this is not from common sense? Can there be common sense reaction? Do you think all reactions are personal? How can you tell?



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Anna
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Anna » 31 Jul 2014, 08:46

I do not have the right to judge this forum cause I haven't red much yet. But I do feel like I have to speak what I feel about this forum. So Im not feeling the word 'cool'. I do not feel understood when someone says 'cool' to me, It feels like the one who is speaking it is shallow(which is not true), It feels like that one is somewhere in dreamland thinking everything is cool, it feels like that one wants to say something to be nice, feels like that one wants to support someone to be nice.
Nice does not feel real to me. Cool does not feel real to me so I react.
Have a look at something fascinating here Nick: Can you see in your words how you base your perception, your beliefs, your opinions and how you define/respond to things based on how you feel? It is actually quite fascinating. I've done this as well my entirely life, because I grew up in a culture where I was taught that whatever I feel, is true. "If it feels wrong, don't do it.", "Only do what feels right". The problem with that was that feelings and emotions are not reliable as 'compass' or navigators when it came to directing and steering myself in the world, because: My feelings and emotions are exclusive to me, they are created through my life experience, my memories, my likes and dislikes. So within claiming that something is for example true or not true based on how I feel, I condition that trust to my own exclusive point of view - a point of view that is often self-interested and skewed. Like if I "don't feel like it" I would perceive as my feelings 'telling me the truth' so to speak, when perhaps I was simply acting in self-interest.

So - what I have learned through walking with Desteni, is what it means to a lived principled, to see the world based on principles. And at Desteni we have found for example that reactions where a person reacts to something in their external reality, is where they're imposing their inner reality onto the outer so to speak. If I for example had a traumatic experience with the color blue as a child, I might forever hate the color blue and think that it is objectively evil. But it is not. It is simply a color. So I'm the one that has imposed my own personalized definition on it. So when I am sharing about reactions here with you, it's not me exerting my personal opinion on you, but simply looking at things based on what I have found for myself when it comes to reactions and then sharing it with you to support.

So in relation to the experiences that came up within you, in regards to the word 'cool' for example and how you experienced it as 'not clean or truthful' - that is actually something that you can investigate for yourself throughout your life, where does this reaction come from? Towards whom/where do you experience it? Maybe it would be cool to write about this experience with people being fake and not authentic, that's definitely something I can relate to and I would suggest writing it out for yourself, so that you can let go of the reactions and 'clear the fog' so to speak, within yourself to clearly see things for what they are - and thereby enable yourself to direct them effectively.



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Carrie
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Carrie » 31 Jul 2014, 14:43

Cool support here from Michelle and Anna.

In addition, I would look at how you're allowing external influences to move you in anyway. In this case, you're allowing two words: COOL and AWESOME to change how you 'feel' or how you're experiencing yourself in the moment that you see or hear the words - so you're giving the words power to move you - just like a puppet on strings.

Words aside, you can see this with other points that come up throughout your day: You see a picture, you react. You hear a certain tone in a person's voice, you react. You have a thought come up, you react. And this goes on-and-on with everything within and outside of you having all the power to make you change, make you decide, make you communicate, and make you move in any given way.

This is where the writing, self-forgiveness, and self-correction comes in to stop this - where you'll write out your experiences with what you're reacting to, you'll release the point with self-forgiveness, and then you'll re-script yourself with self-correction - and commit yourself to that self-correction - for the next time the point comes up. I have found this to be the most effective way of getting a grasp on myself and creating an actual life for myself.



Marlen
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Marlen » 31 Jul 2014, 15:05

I agree with the perspectives given, and I can also say that I remember having similar subtle reactions initially to seeing 'cool' everywhere and so I decided to use it in a similar way to how it is used here as a form of saying 'ok, good, alright' without adding the experience to the word - it's not polarized meaning, it's a simple way to say it's good without implying there's an opposite that can be 'wrong' or else. So as you can see there's a general emphasis on being able to redefine words which implies first walking that initial reaction that we may have toward words so that we can then come to agree/decide how we want to use/live the word.

Therefore I see and use the word 'cool' as part of an unspoken agreement of how to use this word as an indication of support to one another. So as Michelle said, you can also apply that exercise of seeing why you would want to hold onto such experience toward the word cool and why not questioning such experience first - which exists only within yourself - and see how you could use the word cool in a supportive manner. Otherwise one would be creating a reaction/separation toward a word and as such it implies that you create a point of self-definition based on a word, which is something that can only exist based on the mind /knowledge and information/ego.

This is how and why I would simply suggest you look at holding onto the idea of, for example, how within holding on to such experience toward a word, you create an inner conflict toward a word, which is quite unnecessary when one can simply let go of the experience, you can practice that with self-forgiveness and then deciding to agree to use it in a supportive manner.

Another reaction that may come is how a particular group of people adopt a particular lingo - this is so and you will see it quite often around here and becomes part of our usual vocabulary. So, that's also an aspect you can see within yourself if any reactions come up or else.

Cool for sharing this, lol



Nick
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Nick » 04 Aug 2014, 19:58

where does this reaction come from?

From me. From a knowing that there is a truth. And from thinking I got something of that truth. But I cannot reach it.
It comes from wanting to show this forum that I know a thing or two. To build up my ego. But my ego is not so big as it may look like. maybe it is otherwise it wouldnt look like it looks.
Also because why would you use the word cool if its so misunderstand so many times. Its a vague word for me. I dont understand the word. Dont understand people why they use the word.
O! also because I don't like to be supported because I want to do everything on my own strength. But I need support so I need to accept support. Not that the word cool feels supportive to me.

Towards whom/where do you experience it?
towards everyone I saw on the forum using the word.

Thanks for the support. Its not cool support. I hate the word support and I hate the word cool. And I hate you people for using it. And I hate saying this. And I hate that I judge myself for saying this. And I hate that I hate.
I hate because I have projections
I hate because I cannot live from out love
I hate because I judge you all for being fake
I hate that I believe myself that you are all fake
I hate that ya'll will react so unhateful and controlled and supportive to this writing
I hate that ya'll do not allow hate
I hate that I am here
I hate that I am not what I want to be
I hate that I am hating
I hate that I cannot always be grateful for the live that is given to me
I love life
I love people
I love this
I love all emotions
I love all feelings
I love being human
I find it difficult to live
I find it hard to accept myself
I find it hard where I am at
But I love it. I love that I have a voice
I love that I can write and have a way to find love.



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Anna
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby Anna » 05 Aug 2014, 08:38

Hi Nick

What I would suggest is to, now that you've written this out - take it to the next step of writing to stop the experiences of hate, so that the writing doesn't become simply a venting where nothing actually changes. It may 'feel good' for a moment to write yourself out, especially if it is not something that you're used to, but what I've found for myself is that simply writing everything out isn't enough in terms of actually changing oneself and one's experiences. That is also what is different about this forum from other forums: we come to write ourselves out in self-honesty and then we take the next step of taking responsibility for ourselves through stopping/changing for example experiences of reaction. So if you haven't yet, I suggest signing up for the DIP Lite course, where you'll exactly learn both how to write yourself out effectively as well as learn tools for how to change yourself through writing. I also recommend listening to Self Awareness steps for the Elite - Introduction



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sylvia
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Re: Words like 'cool' and 'awesome'

Postby sylvia » 05 Aug 2014, 09:04

Ok 'cool' Nick you've done your ranting and raving and now it's time to support yourself, because leaving it here won't support you or any other being. What I would suggest is to take every sentence of your ranting and raving and see why you expressed yourself that way and how you are able to take things back to Self and take self-responsibility again.
Thanks for the support. Its not cool support
Why thanking for something you do not see as supportive support?
Why isn't the support cool?
What support did you expect?
Why can't you take support from others?

See with every sentence of your anting and raving you can ask yourself questions and try to answer them from a point of self-honesty (not mistaking it with honesty). So please continue doing so with every sentence and see what it brings you, see where you gain isights within yourself as why you move yourself to do or say certain things. Then you can see where you can apply Self-Forgiveness and commit yourself to break free of any definitions that do not support yourself when it comes to the word 'cool'.

Another point with the word 'cool' is, when I look at myself, English is not my first language and I see that most of my previous definitions of the word 'cool' came from movies and internet and at first I didn't see the word 'cool' as how I am using it now on a daily base. Only when I looked at how I saw it I could change my relation to it. So as said before it is important to understand where we took the definition of our words from and see if these definitions are bias and if even our definitions are destructive for ourselves and our surroundings. Destructive meaning, when the word 'cool' takes you into reactions and keep you from accepting support, which is basically sabotaging yourself by adopting a destructive definition of a certain word such as 'cool'.




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