From the beginning, when I first discovered the Desteni material, I was immediately empathetic with the idea of an Equal Money System (as was being proposed at the time) and also understood how self-forgiveness and self-correction made sense within the context of a broken world. However, try as I might, I was unable to make writing or even speaking self-forgiveness effective for me.
What I experienced wasn't the resistance described in many places and I made sure to go slowly and tried writing it out by hand as well as typing and speaking self-forgiveness. It wasn't until I read the above quote that I realized that what had happened to me was actually that my mind consciousness system and physical body were no longer aligned as most normal people were. Finally, I had an explanation as to why I had experienced such a strange life leading up to and after my discovery of the Desteni material.
Thus, self-forgiveness simply wasn't effective for me because the mind consciousness system's relation to my physical body was compromised: whereas I've come to understand that 'normal' people are able to actually ground their self-forgiveness within their human physical bodies and thus map out self-corrections that actually have a substantial impact on their lives, that option hasn't been available to me due to the misalignments I've created within myself.
As I wrote in my most recent blog post
, my life has, for the last several years, essentially been long periods of confusion punctuated by brief moments-as-opportunities to make major changes. This amazing tool of self-forgiveness hasn't been available to me and so, despite being drawn towards Desteni, I haven't been able to be effective in my process.
So, the reason why I posted that quote was to see if anyone else could relate to what is described within it and, if so, if they could share their experience with dealing with it, since it is a pretty lonely place to be where I cannot be effective as a leader in changing myself through the tool of self-forgiveness but also the problems that this misalignment has caused me in terms of me not being a functional member of society have also isolated me from non-Destonians.