Jessica, you bring up a really important point here:
Another things is that I can read all the information related to BDP on line and feel familiar to the symptoms but that won´t help me; I observed it makes me like participate in feeling bad about myself and feed the emotions/feelings more and more. But if you are using this as a tool to investigate more about this personality disorder and change points on yourself is cool.
I have recently been analyzed and assessed by psychologists and they have determined I have OCD, ADD and anxiety disorder. I had never considered ADD before, and now that it's an "official diagnosis" by the "experts" I see myself feeling a desire to use it as an excuse, to excuse myself from having to apply myself as much because it's too hard, or much harder for me because I have these disorders, when in fact, nothing in my reality has changed, I have just now been labelled.
So, I think it's important to understand and name and conditions and disorders, and to investigate them and get to know what research is out there, but not from the starting point of feeling bad about it, feeling self-pity or using it to justify inaction. It's a shitty deal but everybody's life experience and processes are difficult in different ways. Rather research and investigate existing information and solutions in order to see what is practical for you, what can support you and bring you to a point of healing and tending to yourself. The starting point is important, so I stay on track by reminding myself that I am looking to support myself to find solutions that work for me.
I definitely did go through a period of intrigue because I had been alone within the experience for so long that it was fascinating to see that others were experiencing it too. I would read articles and watch youtube videos all the time, and found it supportive to not feel so alone, and also to see that others could relate. But after a certain point I realized that there are not many offering real and practically applicable solutions or steps. So it's cool to also put oneself out there, when and as ready, to share the experience and any steps taken to manage it, because so much of the material online can be used for self-sabotage and to make matters worse.