one of the things i find most interesting throughout years of process is to look at 'words' as they are 'commonly defined' and to really question whether or not the common definition is something i continue to agree with, or if my perspective on that word has changed and thus the way I redefine and live and apply that word also changes. the what we communicate shows through much more in HOW and WHAT we live more so than what words we use.Hi everyone, I have a question regarding self-forgiveness - why are you using specifically the word 'FORGIVE'? I forgive myself... From wikipedia - "Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense, lets go of negative emotions such as vengefulness, with an increased ability to wish the offender well." I understand what self-forgiveness means for you as a concept, I understand how it works and I see benefits of it, I used it myself and it helped me a lot. But if you think of it - why do we use this word? I realized that I gave it my own definition, but I don't think it makes much sense to give all words our own definitions, I think it is better to find some common definitions of words that we can use to communicate with each other. So here is my question - why the word forgive, if the common definition of forgiveness is that a victim (I don't consider myself victim) changes attitude regarding an offense (I don't perceive it being an offense). For me, for example the word 'REALIZE' woud make much more sense here : I realize that... What is your perspective on this? Thanks
My here is my take on 'forgiveness' as it applies to the structure of self forgiveness. Initially I did have the thought that in order to 'forgive', there is an implied "guilt" or something "bad" or some kind of "offense" that is committed. This of course coming from the regular definitions of what it is to forgive.
But after looking at it more over the years I see that "forgiveness" has to do with establishing your self as the authority of you- as the "author-ity" of you. Meaning, you are putting yourself in the director's chair and deciding to re-write the script that has been your life.
I have come to see the 'forgiveness' not as forgiving somebody for doing something wrong, but forgiveness like how "debt" can be forgiven, or a mistake can be forgiven, or an old grudge can be forgiven. The forgiveness is the act of an authority - in this case you, taking responsibility for the consequences and no longer holding yourself to the past. Forgiveness here is the action of taking responsibility and no longer blaming the outside world, and realizing that there is so much more to gain in the forgiveness than there is in holding on to things that are not best for all (yourself included)