How to write self-forgiveness

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tylersr
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Joined: 18 Jul 2011, 22:49

How to write self-forgiveness

Post by tylersr »

In my blog I wrote about how I have a belief within me that I will run into the same types of negative experiences I have stored as memories from past jobs as I embark upon a journey to look for a new job. This belief is strong enough to cause me to give up before I've begun. What I am asking for here, is if someone can help me to outline specific self-forgiveness and self-corrective applications around this belief.

The link to my blog post: Day 1- Negative Memories Related to Past Jobs. I have also reposted the entry here:

A point that has come up repeatedly in my life is thoughts and beliefs related to there not being a job out there that is appropriate for me. Within this I can see two points, the first of which I will address in this post and that is the Memories related to past jobs I've had that haven't worked out the way I've wanted.

I'm sure many can relate on this point as I'm sure we've all had jobs or at least experiences as moments within jobs in which things haven't gone exactly smoothly and according to plan. Whether it be a negative experience with a boss, a coworker, a customer, or simply becoming frustrated with the task at hand and doubting our ability to perform well in the job, it's likely you have a memory or memories related to these moments where things were rough. Personally, I can count many, even within my favorite jobs.

As I turn to the job market in search of another job, I've found myself experiencing the belief that I will run into the same experiences. This belief can be so overwhelming that I stop searching for a job entirely at that moment. It's like I just want to give up before I even begin. Maybe you can relate?
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Kristina
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Re: How to write self-forgiveness

Post by Kristina »

Hey Tyler,

So you've outlined it specifically to get yourself started on the self-forgiveness, and so the self-corrective/commitment statements.

You already know it's a belief you have about how the experience will go, based on past memories. So what is required here is to specifically write out each belief based on the memories. You can write out the memory as you recall it - the reactions you had to each person, to the job - all the thoughts, feelings, and emotions, and then the conclusion you made up about the whole memory, like "I'll never find a job I want to do" or "I'll never get along with my boss/co-workers." So you could write out the memory here on the forum, and we can look at it and provide more specific examples of how to get started.

Though as I recall, you already know how to apply self-forgiveness and self-corrective statements, it's simply a matter of starting and so doing it.

Just based on what you've written, you can start with this:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be influenced by past memories of jobs I've worked that I've defined as negative, through negative reactions, to the point where I don't even want to move myself to find another job

I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to exist within past memories of negative job experiences and allow that to influence me in currently looking for work

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that because of the past negative experiences I've had with jobs and working, that all future jobs and work I do will exist within and as the same nature, instead of realizing the power and authority I have within/as me to direct myself differently - to actually change me and so my experience of what my job and working experiences are

Now obviously there are more specific points for you, directly related to WHY you have/had negative experiences within your job and work - those are your reactions to sort out with self-forgiveness. Though again, you are more than capable of directing yourself out of the resistance of looking for work and so not allowing past moments/memories to direct you now. You breathe, take responsibility for what you can see is a reaction, and commit to not allowing the past to influence you in your present. Work is necessary at the moment, so you find what is most practical, and financially supportive.

Let us know if you require more support/clarification.
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tylersr
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Joined: 18 Jul 2011, 22:49

Re: How to write self-forgiveness

Post by tylersr »

I problem I have is that there are certain memories I have that, if someone were to read them online, they might discriminate against me.
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Kristina
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Re: How to write self-forgiveness

Post by Kristina »

If they are sensitive in nature - as you mentioned they could discriminate against you, or be cause for alarm to your family, or work - anything that could compromise you in the system, then you don't have to publish them. Do it for yourself, and if you require specific, individual feedback, let us know!
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viktor
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Re: How to write self-forgiveness

Post by viktor »

Another perspective on this point is that, it might not actually be a belief but the way reality currently operates. And with this I mean that, as the system works currently, we have to earn a living, and most often that is done in jobs we do not necessarily enjoy or like. This is because the system is set up in such a way where self-expression is not given any monetary value, and instead what is valued is production, cost-effectiveness, etc. Hence, it is rare that we will be able to find a job in the system which we enjoy completely.

The same goes with colleagues, in this system, we will run into A LOT of different people, different stories, issues, weaknesses, etc, that is simply how the system works at the moment. Hence, it is not possible to completely avoid bad situations, and tough working conditions. What we can do is instead to learn how to direct ourselves within these conditions and make the best out of it.

Taking me for example, in my line of work there are many things that I do not particularly enjoy. Those points I direct as effectively as I can – understanding that I require to do that in order to make a living for myself in this world. Then, there are other parts of my job that I really like, and there I take the opportunity to enjoy myself, and express myself. With me, it is writing, and researching that I enjoy to do, and sometimes I get an opportunity to do that in my job.

So, what you can do is to let go of expectations, go out in the system and embrace the fact that you are going to face tough situations, difficult people, boring jobs, and then – LEARN to direct yourself within it. Make a decision to create your life, and yourself – REGARDLESS of what is your physical environment at the moment. Let your expression shine through the bullshit.
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