Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Ask questions related to applying self forgiveness and walking self corrective application
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ZachWang
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Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby ZachWang » 16 May 2016, 03:48

In this topic, I am going to use a couple of times to cover and write to assist and support myself and those that have similiar experiences to face ourselves when approaching women. I am going write some in each time. And if you guys have something to say, just post a reply, thanks.

Women's voice has a specific pitch/tone comparing to men's. So, from the voice, it is difficult or impossible to tell the difference between one and another. So, if I have been obssessed or possessed by a woman's voice, meaning having an energetic linking/connection to her voice, then I will be influenced by all women's voice to trigger or stimulate my memories in a way.

Whereas, the pictured presentations of women are quite different from looking at their faces, specifically. I have judgments upon women's faces. Well, it is not the case that I immediately judge a woman according to her face. But after communications and talkings, there is also nothing-inside the being that I met-that I am interested in, meaning their interests, hobbies, what kinds of abilities they are capable of, what they like doing. So, I saw her as an empty shell, nothing, worthless. And plus, that she does not have a good pictured presentation of her in both face and body. I just refused to let her into my space/world. But, if she has a perfect pictured presentation of her physical, all other things will not matter much. If she has an interesting hobby or ability, all other things will not matter much. So, I judged her from inside to outside. Then an interesting thing happened.

We were in the same company. I am being trained to be a teacher. And I have to practise teaching through doing all kinds of physical expressions, body language, specific voices and tones, facial expressions. You know, I am going to teach young beings aged about 6 or 7, maybe a little bit older or younger. So, I have to present myself in a specific way/expression when I practise it. And I was in a classroom practising on my own. And then my colleague came in. I felt uncomfortable when she was also here. It was not afraid of being judged as wrong, not good enough or something negative but fearing to be judged as good and positive. Because, when she spoke, she uttered words in kind of a flirting way, like affected sweet. I don't like that. And because when we went to a restuarant for lunch, she said that she was going to pay, very quickly, she said oh there was not enough money. Then, I said we were going to pay on one's own. During the whole lunchtime, she didn't say a word, just watched her cellphone. She was also deliberately letting me help her with something that was actually nothing. Then, I became sick of such being. Just want to get away from her. So, when she entered the classroom where I practised, I became very uncomfortable with being with her. I was trying to perform normally when I practised teaching and trying not to look at her. But all ended up with performing badly or lowering my voice and de-stretching my physical body. I had sexual energetic feelings generated only when hearing her affected sweet voice.

And I also had another colleague who was quite an interesting and unique person where I enjoyed talking and being with her. She is very stable and can enjoy herself most of the time. Talking with her sometimes is talking to myself because she kind of takes nothing personally. And when I practised teaching in front of her, I became nervous and fearing of being judged as not being good enough because she has interesting hobbies and many things inside her that I can totally relate to. And most importantly, she knew much about me because we talked a lot. So, when she looked at me directly when I performed myself, I became nervous. But I told her to watch me because I needed to overcome such nervousness, and then she agreed. Still, I was not confident with myself.

So, recently there are two beings that I reacted in total different ways in my immediate environment. I will continue next time.



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ZachWang
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Re: Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby ZachWang » 16 May 2016, 17:59

Self-forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define and confine myself according to values of having the ability to do something, personality, what I have done, self-image and the way I present myself, not realising, seeing and understanding that those worth and values that I see important are actually of and based in the mind consciousness systems as what I have accepted and allowed myself to be or become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to knowledge and information that I have learnt, according to which I judge others, not realising that judgment has been always based on mind polarity design of superiority and inferiority.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to the beauty as pictures in the mind, as forms and shapes based on physical expressions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate from women female expressions in terms of their physical body through picturizing their physical expressions, not realising that I can use awareness to physically aware of their expression in a beingness level, instead of implanting and using pictures in a mind conscious level.



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ZachWang
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Re: Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby ZachWang » 17 May 2016, 18:46

I had a complete misjudgment towards the first being that I have mentioned because all my previous thoughts and opinions about her are actually not valid at all because during today's interaction and participation with her, I started to re-align my mind to view this being in an open way. Because previously in that day when I wrote about her, I was in a overreactive mode. In the day when I met her for the first time, I was in a very active mind state. Overthinkings ran all around in the mind.



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viktor
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Re: Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby viktor » 20 May 2016, 20:29

Cool Wang,

Will follow your investigations. What you have found thus far goes to prove that we cannot get to know someone in a day or two. To develop intimacy and see who someone is we have to be with them for an extended period of time, speak with them, do things with them, and only then are we able to get to know their true character. I have experienced the same thing in my life, and it still fascinates me, how I can believe that I know someone, only to in the next moment, become surprised when a new part of their being/life opens up that I could never have guessed was there.



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ZachWang
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Re: Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby ZachWang » 21 May 2016, 22:26

Yeah, thanks, Victor.

During these two weeks, as I knew more and more people in our company, I found that I started to form relationships with others. And this is actually energetically mental with regards to judgment, blame, self-victimization, doubt, overthinking and pictures. Because there are much more women than men in our company, there are only 3 men in the total amount of 52 people. So, I kind of tried to form relationships with women in an energetic way, meaning energetic connections and reaction or attachments. And successfully, I have already reacted towards several women in a similiar mind pattern point through defining my self-image according to their words and behaviors when interacting with them and doing things together. So, I find that I am trapped within relationships in trying to please my mind and their minds. Standing clear with them becomes difficult once I start to define myself according to them. My whole starting point has been fucked up where my intention of communication mostly is mostly because of energetic drive within the mind to form some kind of relationship with them. So, I see me being submerged by energy and pictures in chasing these two things in the mind through physical. During these moments, I forgot my breath.

So, I then decide to stand absolutely clear from my colleagues as one as equal as all as whats best for all. And I commit myself not to take anything personally when my colleagues speak and do. And I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my colleagues' words and deeds and images of them and the way they present themselves to influence me through judging myself according to them of what they have accepted and allowed themselves to be or become.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself according to others' judgments based on their definitions.

I made a mistake where being one with and equal to other people as their physical and beingness does not mean that I will be energetically and mindfully close to someone once I meet them. But, it means that I as self can get to know them of what they have accepted and allowed themselves to be or become in terms of what they value the most, what their difficulties are and what patterns or characters they have developed, so I can assist and support them as self if it is reqested. Talking to them or not doesn't make any difference. The most important thing is self as who I am as what I do in every moment of breath. I 'd better reduce my time spent on social media apps and save an hour each day to write. Gonna start from today.

Without writing, things can be easily forgotten/suppressed and accumulated.



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ZachWang
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Re: Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby ZachWang » 02 Jun 2016, 12:01

I am quite emotional currently. The most extensive point within and as me is self-judgment where I just judge myself according to how others perform and how others' trainers train their trainees and how my trainer trains me. Maybe it is not so important when it comes what my responsibility entails in my position. And I found that my trainer had lots of things she didn't do to me but all the other trainers did. I became angry because she didn't respect me in the aspect of how she trained me like other tainers. Also, I compared how I perform with other people, which led to inferiority. And this inferiority generates many points regarding inferiority with regards to educational background, financial background and other points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare with others with regards to how trainers train.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself immediately judge and think that how my trainer trains me was because of that she thought and,judged me as not being good enough, not realising, seeing and understanding that firstly, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the way of how my trainer trains me, secondly, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of what she was going to think about me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear of being misled by my trainer, not realising that I direct myself to work in this company, and it is I who directs myself in every moment of breath as my human physical body here as one as equal as all as whats best for all without forming any relationship with any person in a positive or negative way, but embracing all beings and everything in the existence, equal and one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my slow response towards others as something bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that 'not being open and outgoing enough' as something bad.



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SunetteSpies
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Re: Facing Women Expression, energetic friction between character, voice and picture

Postby SunetteSpies » 01 Jul 2016, 20:54

Two interesting points stood out within all your writings above:

1. Overthinking

This in the context where, if you look back and re-read all your writings - the moments where you're with another person / women, your mind immediately goes into THINKING ABOUT THEM / reacting to them. Your mind automatically, in a sense, conditioned to immediately respond with thoughts, projections, ideas, reactions about them and so also equally brings out your own self judgments, inadequacies, fears, inferiority etc. Interesting how the words "you are your own greatest judge" applies here: you initially THINK you're JUDGING them in some way or another, when all the while, you in doing that, in accepting and allowing yourself to judge; you're triggering and activating your OWN self judgment patterns within yourself, your mind. Within this also, the words "who you are is what you create" - if judgment exist within you, either towards others or yourself - you equally CREATE it within yourself, your life and relationships with others.

Here, I would suggest the following steps to assist and support yourself: redefine and live words where you focus more on YOURSELF in moments when you communicate and participate with others. Focus more on yourself, meaning - the moment you see your mind patterns activating things towards another and/or towards yourself - magnifying anything negative and/or positive in you and them: to speak a commitment statement to remind yourself to focus on YOU as a person and focus on THEM as a person. Speak a commitment statement to remind yourself that: as long as you continue indulging and participating in the thoughts and reactions towards them and you - you're not sharing YOU with them, nor are you giving them a chance to share themselves with you in a way of actually getting to know one another as people, two individuals, to human beings simply communicating and interacting for a moment.
Then, to also write out / forgive all the patterns of thoughts and reactions you see coming up within you in a way where you can then in real time moments when you're faced / confronted with another / women - more focus on CHANGING who you are and what you focus on, by even maybe asking them some questions about themselves, listen as they share, get to know THEM. Here also facing a similar point really within one of your previous posts when it comes to MIND FILTERS - have to sit down with yourself and look at practical ways in which to focus on you as a person, them as a person without the MIND FILTERS INTERFERING that leads to over-thinking.

2. SELF-JUDGMENT
It's been interesting to observe your mind through your writings - especially in the above, because you can so clearly see how: the moment your thoughts go to judging others, your own judgmental patterns towards yourself triggers. But again, here - you tend to take YOUR OWN MIND PERSONALLY - where you judge the things that come up and so react to it, which is just adding more fuel / energy to the fire / mind - making the whole experience of what comes up in your mind so much more worse and intense.

Again here a reminder to develop a commitment statement for yourself, where: the moment you see your mind is running rampant, take a breath and REMIND yourself to not react, not judge, focus on YOU as a person and the other as a person without the mind filters - to REMIND yourself you will be writing out and forgiving the patterns you see when and as you can. But for THAT MOMENT you have the OPPORTUNITY to slow down, get to know yourself and another as well.

Cool points here - thanks for sharing




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