Today I woke to an invite to sit in on some more portal interviews, I agreed and headed to the main house where I met up with Joe, Jozien, and Sunette. The interviews were very interesting and supportive discussing the disease of dementia and the word stress. Within myself, I am finding some fear come up in relation to sharing myself, so I will do some self forgiveness here and thus live the correction when or if this fear comes up again.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear based on comparing myself to others discussion points around me and believing an idea that i created that I am not able to share as good as the others.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to compare who i am with others in a way of inferioirizing or superiorizing myself to them and thus going into the experience of self interest in not taking self responsibility for my reaction and thus expressing me here within what is here for me to share, but instead allow separation as who i am with these beliefs of separation to direct me.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to allow the self belief that i am not good at sharing based on a comparison i participated in of my sharing and another in discussion already and judged mine as not as good as.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a belief and thus a judgment of what i was to share because i accepted and allowed comparison of me and another individuals words as more or less then and thus separate myself from my own self expression that is here equal and one to all others expressions as who they are as the unique yet equal life expressions that are here within all as self.
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear of expressing instead of flagging the fear and living the self responsibility to express who i am if the moment is here to do so.
I commit myself to flag fear that comes up and within that push myself in the word self discipline to express who i am in that moment if it is something I have lived and learned something of value that i see would support others.
I commit myself to stop comparison by seeing and living the realization that all are equal as life here in the physical and each one has their own unique expression as i do equal and one to share and expand in who self is here in what is best.
I commit myself to let go of the self belief that i can’t share as i see and realize i am able to share once i move through fear and voice myself in the physical in what i have learned or see to support what is best for all.
So I will be living this corrective application moving forward as I see all contributions are a cool key for all to hear different perspectives and examples of what is relevant within what was shared in the interview.
I then was invited to have a session with Jozien who is here, she practices within the kinesiology field. The session was quite impactful and supported me to find balance and support in a memory that was deep seated within me from childhood in relation to the question or intention i was looking at support with in fearing being alone. So man it was fascinating and will support me indeed in the times to come for my process of correcting the points of self love and moving myself more physically to ground who I am with the earth itself and who i am within me as i move.
I then returned to my room and took a quick nap as I found that was a lot of processing for me with Jozien, and so i slept for a bit of time. Sunette joined me for a bit to discuss some points and just stop in to say hi and catch up. I then went for a run around the horse camps and found that the air here is quite dry and makes it a bit dry to run, though I am going to be refueling with water more to see if this will compensate for the dryness in the south african air that is currently here. It is also winter here which I am finding that this is the dry season and rain is not something that is guaranteed, so we will see on this.
Dinner was made by a couple of the fellas on the farm, and it was delicious! I met up with Leila, Gian, and Cesar and Cesar wanted to join me in my room for dinner and to watch some train shows. So I had dinner with Cesar and we watched trains and dragon cartoons for a while, which I haven’t done in quite some time with little ones. He only liked eating the meat so I fed him the meat! He is definitely independent within himself and is standing as a nice example of being present and sharing who he is here for me, which I am grateful for and take with me in my own process of self honesty and self change.
I then after dinner and some tea and chocolate, started posting online on different projects I am working on and getting points done. I then heard Gian and Kim talking so I joined them for a while and discussed some interesting points and process support that came through specifically for me. I am currently working on what was shared and within time, aligning myself to my purpose in who I am in this process and so i can live the words what is best for self and so all.
More to come on my journey at the desteni farm, an extraordinary place indeed.
Thanks for reading.