W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

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Vadim1
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Vadim1 » 05 Feb 2013, 23:08

Of course, Marlen. I want to contribute. See, if this ALL (all the world's flaws) continues, and I myself continue in that ALL, my life will mean complete subordination to those rules established by someone to prevent myself and others from full realization of own potential for growth and making people's a dignified one!



Marlen
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Marlen » 05 Feb 2013, 23:44

Of course, Marlen. I want to contribute. See, if this ALL (all the world's flaws) continues, and I myself continue in that ALL, my life will mean complete subordination to those rules established by someone to prevent myself and others from full realization of own potential for growth and making people's a dignified one!
Cool, I agree absolutely. Let's walk!



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Juan Pablo
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Juan Pablo » 06 Feb 2013, 00:27

Of course, Marlen. I want to contribute. See, if this ALL (all the world's flaws) continues, and I myself continue in that ALL, my life will mean complete subordination to those rules established by someone to prevent myself and others from full realization of own potential for growth and making people's a dignified one!
Cool Vadim.



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Vadim1
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Vadim1 » 06 Feb 2013, 16:07

where i compare myself to another and experience myself less than them, i am participating actively in inequality.
Hi Maya,
Support every word in your message as I feel and think the same.

A question: what if it is not me who compares myself with another person but it is that another person who compares me and himself?
Example, I met a new colleague and had nice conversation. It turned out the colleague was appointed my direct manager for my would-be position of a new company and her tone of communication has changed. She became aggressive, autocratic and arrogant commanding to perform the assignments though I have not bound myself by an employment contract yet. It all makes me feel small and stupid. I cannot be straightforward in this situation as I need to demonstrate myself, prepare plans etc. to be finally approved by directors.
Who creates the inequality in this case? Yes, there is a share of my input but those are the circumstances, what to do? Otherwise, my employment can be questionable.
Can you comment please?

Thank you



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Juan Pablo
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Juan Pablo » 06 Feb 2013, 22:19

A question: what if it is not me who compares myself with another person but it is that another person who compares me and himself?
Example, I met a new colleague and had nice conversation. It turned out the colleague was appointed my direct manager for my would-be position of a new company and her tone of communication has changed. She became aggressive, autocratic and arrogant commanding to perform the assignments though I have not bound myself by an employment contract yet. It all makes me feel small and stupid. I cannot be straightforward in this situation as I need to demonstrate myself, prepare plans etc. to be finally approved by directors.
Who creates the inequality in this case? Yes, there is a share of my input but those are the circumstances, what to do? Otherwise, my employment can be questionable.
Can you comment please?

Thank you
We ourselves create our own experiences, and as long as we react, we are then reacting to the situation and participating. So I would take all back to myself and see what I myself believe, what I judge about myself, how I react, and then walk it through writing, self-forgiveness, and self-corrective application, realizing that it is not them that are doing things, rather I am the one that is reacting and taking personally what the other person is saying.

All clear?



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maya rote
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby maya rote » 06 Feb 2013, 23:51

Hey vadin
where i compare myself to another and experience myself less than them, i am participating actively in inequality.
Hi Maya,
Support every word in your message as I feel and think the same.

A question: what if it is not me who compares myself with another person but it is that another person who compares me and himself?
Example, I met a new colleague and had nice conversation. It turned out the colleague was appointed my direct manager for my would-be position of a new company and her tone of communication has changed. She became aggressive, autocratic and arrogant commanding to perform the assignments though I have not bound myself by an employment contract yet. It all makes me feel small and stupid. I cannot be straightforward in this situation as I need to demonstrate myself, prepare plans etc. to be finally approved by directors.
Who creates the inequality in this case? Yes, there is a share of my input but those are the circumstances, what to do? Otherwise, my employment can be questionable.
Can you comment please?

Thank you
i find that in most cases "it takes two to tango" but even if the other is participating in comparison, i must always first focus on my own participation, as that is within my direct responsibility and is what i can control and change.

within the scenario you present, i would ask myself who am i within the situation, and you have answered this question by stating that you experienced yourself as small and stupid - this experience is your creation through your acceptance and allowance through your interpretation of the situation and thus, your responsibility - and it exposes a point of participation in inequality, because in that moment you saw yourself as less than her, and less than the situation - otherwise you would have not have experienced it in such a way.

within a working environment you must be sensitive and "play along" with the roll playing, we can be stable within ourselves and still do what our boss tells us to do without reacting or feeling like we are smaller than them for being in an inferior position at the work place - so if your boss is "acting up" you will "swallow it" and just not take it personally within realizing that who they are and how they express themselves, is their process - if it was a friend you might speak up, but at the work environment we must play by their rules or we will risk getting fired (of course within the boundaries of is not being abusive behavior) – having said that, your inner experience indicates that you did take her behavior personally, you interpreted it in such a way that brought you to the internal conclusion that within the situation, your experience of being small and stupid, is valid and justified, and that she is to blame for it due to her behavior – thus, not taking self-responsibility for your own experience as your own acceptance and allowance.

the circumstances never have control on your experience of yourself, that is always your own responsibility, though yes, we are many times limited within the circumstances and must act within practical common sense, as to keep the job for instance, though again, you can be the guy with the lowest rank at the office and have everybody look down at you, but how you experience yourself within it is 100% up to you and is independent of the circumstances - you can either believe the people putting you down and place yourself within your experience as inferior, or you can see the physicality of the situation, no judgments, no polarities, simply you doing your job for practical reasons, realizing that you are not defined by it.

realize that all the words we exert onto others are in fact related to ourselves as the ones that speak/voice them out and has nothing to do with the other personally. Thus it is a point to see where you're taking their words personally and as such not project the experiences you are generating toward their words and believe that 'that is their intention.' Within this what remains is Self Responsibility at all times in the situation, wherein you can assess in common sense if the demands made are in fact points you can work with and direct or not. And that's a way to transform the perceived criticism to a constructive feedback wherein you take the words and see where you have to still direct yourself in a more effective manner and where you haven't done so yet.

did i answer your question?



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Vadim1
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Vadim1 » 07 Feb 2013, 22:04

did i answer your question?
Hi Maya,

Yes and no.

Yes as you did answer and No as the answer does not bring practical solution for me. I still cannot eliminate that inferiority from professional relations. People in power, clothed with authority, treat you as if you always are doing wrong, without any knowledge or skills, or simply mistreat, bully you, and it is not my belief or acceptance. The system of abusive attitude in the employment aggravated by the stick of laying off exists, I saw it and experienced that for real. I did not take it out of nothing. I tried that before not to take it personally, abstract myself from office politics and intrigues but that system chewed and spit me off.



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Juan Pablo
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Juan Pablo » 08 Feb 2013, 00:52

Hi Maya,

Yes and no.

Yes as you did answer and No as the answer does not bring practical solution for me. I still cannot eliminate that inferiority from professional relations. People in power, clothed with authority, treat you as if you always are doing wrong, without any knowledge or skills, or simply mistreat, bully you, and it is not my belief or acceptance. The system of abusive attitude in the employment aggravated by the stick of laying off exists, I saw it and experienced that for real. I did not take it out of nothing. I tried that before not to take it personally, abstract myself from office politics and intrigues but that system chewed and spit me off.
Understand then that you cannot change others -- rather I would have a deep look within myself through writing about how I experience myself -- what thoughts emerge, what internal conversations, what reactions of emotions and feelings, and from that you can start seeing why and why and for what you are taking personally what they say. I mean, what we experience within ourselves exists according to who we are in our lives, so everything that we take personally, is in fact an opportunity to see ourselves. So the practical suggestion is to bring forth those points to yourself through writing, meaning, you can take just an event/situation, and then see what did emerge within you when for example you were close to give a document/report to your boss.

I can relate to this, and how I would experience exactly the same, but finally, was me myself the one that was taking everything personally, and then we react and/or act through a point of fear/defense. So for example, I also tried to stop taking things personally from my boss for example, you know like trying to positivize the situation saying 'oh, maybe she is under so much pressure too, I have to consider that' -- and in fact it wasn't a real and practical consideration, rather I was trying to pacify myself, like trying to calm down the anger/irritation. And really man lol, that's quite not an effective way to handle that situation.

Rather, you can work with yourself what you take personally, and put yourself as the person, when for example if they judge you as 'dumb ass', then you see that in your writings and you can forgive yourself for accepting and allowing to judge yourself -- and there you are, you start taking responsibility for yourself, because if that judgment wouldn't exist within you -- let's see, would you be able to react?.

Practical application: transform judgments/self-judgments into gifts for yourself and your application, through writing, self-forgiveness and then self-corrective application. Thus I would give myself the opportunity to fin out what is happening within myself, without knowing what I will see -- just go for it and investigate myself.

All clear?



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maya rote
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby maya rote » 08 Feb 2013, 12:48

there are many problems in this world, created by individuals as each and every one of us - power games is just one of them, and the work place, as it is constructed within the current system, supports these power games, it's just how things are - that is why we are pushing to change ourselves and the system as a whole, because the way things are is just not acceptable.

unfortunately, until we change ourselves and the system as a whole, to become the living expression of life as equality and oneness, we must walk a process, in space time - and till then, we will face many situations of mistreat, bullying, abuse, power, greed, you name it...

within this, realize, i didn't mean to imply that you are making this up, your boss may very well be participating in a power game, but here the point is for each of us to see our own participation - discussing a third party without them being a part of the discussion with sharing their writings within exploring their starting point / thoughts / fears/ emotions... is in the field of gossip and blame - this field is not supportive, as it justifies and excuses ourselves from taking the opportunity to face ourselves and instead we focus of "them" while they are not here - what we can discuss here is you, because we only have your perspective on the situation, we can only access your experience of the situation, and how you react within it - we can discuss how you can take self responsibility, how you can breathe through the reactions you have been participating with, finding practical ways of action for you to not take the situation or the other being personally and perhaps find ways to communicate yourself better...

the more you practice writing, self forgiveness and corrective application you will get to know you better, you will find it easier to stay stable within breath and not be moved by such situations, you will be more stable within yourself and will find it easier to participate practically in the system without experiencing it "spitting you out". expressing yourself in common sense will get easier, as well as understanding the constructs others are participating in, such as fear being their starting point, it will be easier to not judge them but rather understand where they are coming from, realizing it isn't who they are as they too are walking their process... each at their own pace...

so at this point it's simply not to "worry" about anybody elses process but your own, you must first stabilize yourself, and only from stability will you be able to see more clearly what is actually going on around you - at the moment, before stabilizing ourselves, we are blinded by our own minds, whereas our perspectives / judgements / thoughts / blames, as true and valid as they may seem, can never be trusted...

Practical application: transform judgments/self-judgments into gifts for yourself and your application, through writing, self-forgiveness and then self-corrective application. Thus I would give myself the opportunity to fin out what is happening within myself, without knowing what I will see -- just go for it and investigate myself.
changing judgments into gifts has been really supportive for me - thanks juan



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Vadim1
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Re: W. Dyer: Looking at 'The Power Of Intention'

Postby Vadim1 » 08 Feb 2013, 19:35

Hi Juan,
I can relate to this, and how I would experience exactly the same, but finally, was me myself the one that was taking everything personally, and then we react and/or act through a point of fear/defense. So for example, I also tried to stop taking things personally from my boss for example, you know like trying to positivize the situation saying 'oh, maybe she is under so much pressure too, I have to consider that' -- and in fact it wasn't a real and practical consideration, rather I was trying to pacify myself, like trying to calm down the anger/irritation. And really man lol, that's quite not an effective way to handle that situation.
Yes, I have a fear. A fear to loose the job and cannot do anything with that.
Rather, you can work with yourself what you take personally, and put yourself as the person, when for example if they judge you as 'dumb ass', then you see that in your writings and you can forgive yourself for accepting and allowing to judge yourself -- and there you are, you start taking responsibility for yourself, because if that judgment wouldn't exist within you -- let's see, would you be able to react?.
I was fired in December. How can I take responsibility for myself, if it is them how decided to fire me? If it is them who judged me, made decisions in respect to me? I wanted to work further on but decision was made by the management. Thus, my career depends on someone else's decisions - not mine.
Practical application: transform judgments/self-judgments into gifts for yourself and your application, through writing, self-forgiveness and then self-corrective application. Thus I would give myself the opportunity to fin out what is happening within myself, without knowing what I will see -- just go for it and investigate myself.
All clear?
Not clear how it will influence my life but I will do that.

Thank you anyway, Juan.




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