where does the need of a relationship comes from?

Ask questions related to your individual process or life in the experience of yourself and mind - pertaining to thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviours, habits etc. This thread is dedicated to those who'd like to understand more about the inner-workings of your own mind and then effects of this on your life and relationships.
Raúl
Posts: 113
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

where does the need of a relationship comes from?

Postby Raúl » 01 Oct 2017, 22:28

I think we are limited by the mind obviously, and when we have relationships, they are not just relationships, they are us, accepting we are in pain by the mind, accepting the other one is in it too, and creating a space in the relationship where both people can be free. Why do we even develop ourselves? why the effort? Why can't we exist in the eternity, as perfect beings that we are? Why is life this endless limitation if you look at the truth? The truth of the real fredom, of the soul? Why I can see my own limitation, and believe I am free, but instead be sad? and I could be my entire life sad if I chose the path of truth... I can explain the truth, and the utopic truth, the perfect, how it should be if I was free, but instead I am not there, there is this wall of life on earth that will keep me in pain and needs



Raúl
Posts: 113
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: where does the need of a relationship comes from?

Postby Raúl » 02 Oct 2017, 00:11

Okay the answer is being in love with something I can be for the rest of my life, which is myself. Why is this one single sentence, and it's the next stage of consciousness. It would be so ideal to just fall in love with your own heart, and take responsability for the rest of your live in every moment, but this is so, sooo, hard. I get in these emotional states of sadness and loniless, and I sometimes do things I regret, like going fast to the desteni forum because they are the biggest source of truth and they will give me support, to accept my own pain, I know it's to accept my own pain, and I am also asking for support, it's kinda comical lol. I sometimes feel helpless. Life gets heavy. And I would like to simply go out of life and be free of everything and the thing that most limits me is findind a person to fall in love. Because if it wasn't for that, would life have meaning? I mean everything a person does is to be more atractive for the opposite sex. And I do things for myself a lot, and sometimes I think oh this makes me more atractive to the girls eh? Cool (like being a nice guitarrist, it's something I do for myself, but if a girl I like sees how good I am... cool right? lol). I would like to simply be free of it but I see the practical living example I give, and it's like... in reality if I find a girl who is very, very special, I just won't be able to deny my whole mechanism, I want to share my truth with her. I really don't think about sex at all. I think about sharing the souls, but I suppose eventually that leads to feeling tension and having sex. So my question is the next one, while having a sexual organ in the body, is really oneself able to live according to himself, with no need to find anything in the opposite sex? seeing the most special woman as a normal woman and not as a woman to have a relationship with? I consider this a fair question, because life of humans is based on developing to be more atractive for the opposite sex, could I have some guidance in this please?



Raúl
Posts: 113
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: where does the need of a relationship comes from?

Postby Raúl » 02 Oct 2017, 00:27

Okay, that way is music. But I have to give everything to my true love, I will let it destroy me absolutely. And I will try to express with art how enslaved I feel by this live. I think this can help me turn the pain I feel when I try not to be enslaved in the opposite of it. Sorry that I am posting this here. I feel like, this is a forum for people in some way similar to me, who care about the truth, so I feel that when I am having problems I can express them here and maybe a person supports me. Thanks. Bye.



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viktor
Posts: 1336
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: where does the need of a relationship comes from?

Postby viktor » 03 Oct 2017, 21:04

Relationships and sex can both be a source inspiration/challenge/expansion as well as a place of self-diminishment and self-destruction – it is all about our starting point within it. One mistake many people make is that they allow their desire for a relationships to be the guiding principle in their decision, and usually, what is missed are important points such as compatibility, getting to know the other person, looking at whether there is an alignment when it comes to future goals/aspirations. Because that is missed, relationships have a tendency to become destructive. The point of the relationships becomes to generate feelings, instead of developing our physical expression.

Though, as I shared above, relationships can also be very supportive. If we approach relationships in stability, commit ourselves to select a partner based on common sense, and push ourselves to develop the physical/practical aspects of living together – then relationships can be awesome. And in relationships, regardless as to how it is created, we face ourselves, there is at all times a mirror throwing back at us the bullshit we accept and allow within.

I would say that it is not possible to generalize and give one answer to relationships as to whether it is 'good' or 'bad', suggested or not, supportive or not. Its most definitely challenging, and it is a platform that allows you to get to know another deeply. All in all, it is cool I would say, though as I hinted above, it all depends on OUR starting point – we make all the difference. And that would be the one most important thing to remember, if making the decision to try it out.



Raúl
Posts: 113
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: where does the need of a relationship comes from?

Postby Raúl » 04 Oct 2017, 02:31

Thank you very much viktor, im having difficulties facing why life is so beautiful and so painfull, it has been created in such a way.... i won't forget your words




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