i go bitchy for music

Ask questions related to your individual process or life in the experience of yourself and mind - pertaining to thoughts, emotions, feelings, behaviours, habits etc. This thread is dedicated to those who'd like to understand more about the inner-workings of your own mind and then effects of this on your life and relationships.
Raúl
Posts: 138
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

i go bitchy for music

Postby Raúl » 29 May 2017, 13:15

I'll explain, music takes me to a place where I desire something, it's like sex, i desire to be in communion in this song, and through my instrument i can be so so so close that i almost touch the song and then i just dissapear and i don't even noticed but i have had an amazin experience with this song and i have felt complete and as if i was doing everything correct and being holy, and i kind of love that feeling of holiness... it's like if in the moment i was absolutely free and i was one universe of love within myself, so at this point i don't know how right or wrong this is, but the bitchy part as i have defined :lol: is where i become possesive with music itself, i make music a part of myself, like if i needed to be me, also when i see a guitarrist who is better than me it's not like i go crazy or something, but there is a feeling in my in the depths that moves like.. this guy playing better and with my same age is unconfortable, and when i am the one who is better i can just relax and be cool :| and when the other guy plays better i go like what is he doing, what does he do that is better than me, how can i get there, what would i have to do. also sometimes i feel like i have the honour and the luck to play music and be happy with it, and i think that that makes me feel special... and maybe that is an unfair situation because we are all the same and i am just there like hey look at me i am enjoying this so much and you are not worship me, and it's not like i say worship me but i know it's what happens when i am being "magical" (?) but also that is something i need to do in the concerts to bring people up!! if you feel like share your perspectives about this ego, but also tell me what is not my ego, because there is something in here... i think i am in love with music, life itself could be music, because music is just a story, but maybe music amplifies and brings so so much beauty, it's a trick, i feel like i want to treat music fairly, she has become my god, i want help with this ego but also there is a love for music that i feel not even destiny can take away from me, i feel there is a 99% chances i live for music, learning from it, playing it, getting money for it, is it right to live for the art you love? you are telling me i am art myself and i don't need art? what is this beautiful monster of art? is it a monster? help!! :lol:



Raúl
Posts: 138
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: i go bitchy for music

Postby Raúl » 29 May 2017, 19:32

to be able to express me helped me seeing the path of my mind
i think there is no ego in letting music give a bit of purpose to my life existence, neither in sharing what i feel with people if i honestly keep myself as equal, but that thing of the battle for the best guitarrist :? i wish to be the guitarrist of all as one as equal, not the guitarrist who is better than the others
i can't avoid being defined by this thing i do with my fingers and the instrument! if i was not a musician if i lost all i have learnt i would feel very very sad, maybe i can't give it up because i am young and full of energy, maybe as an old person i can say i have played a looot... now it's time to let go
i'm just tring to apply all i am learning with desteni to how i see myself, how i see my life, what i want to be, i will do my best to be equal honest and fair



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AnthonyF
Posts: 648
Joined: 11 May 2012, 15:55
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Re: i go bitchy for music

Postby AnthonyF » 30 May 2017, 10:09

Hi jazzybeard.

Music is definitely a cool expression of one. You don't have to give that up at all. I would suggest a balance, for sure. To be entirely musical because of your love for it, and in that, you are yes, still developing self in a way, but we develop ourselves in a myriad of ways. So if you dedicated your whole life to music, like writing, playing, you won't have the time and moments to walk this process effectively. If you can make money via music and/or have a career doing so, awesome, but never forget or ignore or put aside your process - your writing, your self-forgiveness, your self-realisations, your self-commitment statements. These will always be priority, which if you don't know now, you will know the more you do write and change yourself.

There are a number of Destonians who also sing, play music, record. There are artists, drawing, painting. It's all about self-honest balance in what you do and how much time you give to everything you do in life. If you can see that the music is taking too much time and/or you're dedicating all your time or most of it to music, breathe in, breathe out, forgive, and remember/realise your tools for self-change, for growth.

So as I said, I suggest BALANCE as a key word/solution here in doing the music, doing process, and also doing what ever other activities you want to do or responsibilities you have.



Raúl
Posts: 138
Joined: 09 May 2017, 02:22

Re: i go bitchy for music

Postby Raúl » 30 May 2017, 14:07

i see, thank you, balance is definetly a key word, with everything



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viktor
Posts: 1339
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 20:50

Re: i go bitchy for music

Postby viktor » 06 Jun 2017, 14:58

I agree with Anthony,

I also see no problem with music in itself, it is simply what it is, the point to look at is WHO WE ARE in relation to music. Here you mention a couple of things that indicate that you have defined parts of yourself in relation to music – for example you say that you would be very sad if you could never play music again in your life. Hence – here I would look at what parts/expressions/words there are that you have defined in relation to music and that you have not yet embraced as a part of yourself regardless of where you are at and what you do. With me, I had defined passion and creativity towards music, and it was only within and through music that I was able to find those expressions within me. However, when I started to practice living passion and creativity in all parts of my life, my relationship to music changed. I was no longer dependent on music for me to be creative, expressive and passionate – and I could bring through these words in my work, in various crafts, in physical labor, etc. – was really fascinating. At this point I do still enjoy to play music now and then – however – I am no longer dependent upon it and neither do I need it to access those expressions within myself.

Then when it comes to earning money with music – read this post: viewtopic.php?f=36&t=7965




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