When I am with friends it's very easy to just make conections, express myself, look in the eyes, but when when I know new people is different
At the start of the conversation I find easy to look at the other person in the eyes and read the person, it's not something I want to do, it's what happens when I look at the person, looking at the person means looking at his/her eyes, and then I get information about how the person is feeling, how the conversation is going, a lot of small things.
Here what you’re describing pretty much everyone does, it’s one of our auto-pilot functions where we ‘read’ and ‘scan’ people’s faces and body behaviour so we can for ourselves ‘place’ where the other person is at, and then accordingly place and give ourselves direction as to how to be, what to say, what not to say etc. to create the least amount of conflict / have the person like us.
From personal experience I would say that sometimes you see/pick up on things that are going on and they are accurate as to the person’s experience of themselves. Though most of the time, I’ve found that I am interpreting what I see in another person’s face. Perhaps they pull their face a certain way and I will go ‘ah, they are insecure –probably because of this and that’, where I then interact with them keeping this ‘backstory’ that I created in my head at the back of my mind. Though, when I later actually ask them, what was going on in that moment, it turns out they were looking and experiencing something completely different. Or perhaps I was right on the insecure part, but was completely wrong in my assumption as to ‘why’ they are experiencing them insecure. Where in the meantime I’ve been acting and talking to them trying to help them with something that was completely besides the point.
In terms of reading what another person is going through, I’d say you can’t trust what you see with your eyes because you’ve not yet developed what it means to actually see and look with your human physical eyes. Everything you ‘see’ and ‘pick up on’ is very much still determined by the mind, where you are projecting your own state of mind unto another. I would drop any and all interpretations/assumptions of what I ‘think’ the person is going through and only work with the words they speak and working with asking questions so they can share in their words what is going on within themselves. Otherwise it is very easy to keep yourself trapped in believing that you ‘know’ another person without actually ever taking the steps to confirm and cross reference. All it remains then is a belief. I then take what I ‘think’ is going on with another person and see what this says / how this relates back to me and my process.
With people you already know, this eye contact point isn’t an issue, because you have over time already established their personalities and so have established for yourself what personalities to play out and act on around them. You don’t need to gather more ‘intelligence’ as to how to ‘strategize’ yourself around them, you already ‘know’.
And at the beggining of the conversations, when I know new people, and in the moments I have visual contact with them, I think their mind see what there is inside of me, this calmed lake... with maybe the sound of the wind...
and I find no problem, I only find there that something "big" happens, hmmm like, that person is looking at me from his mind and I am looking at the person from my calmed silence, and I would say that that even surprises the person, because the person is like... I'm not having an avarage normal dead conversation, there is something in here, they are normally surprised of how stable and calmed I am, and stable and calmed doesn't mean I don't have emotions and I am cold as ice or something, it means that my mind moves according to me, and this kind of mind... I find that when I know new people they sometimes react like wow there is something new here, but when they get to know me a bit more than just the early conversation, they see that I am not an avarage person and they have the opposite reaction, like... before you were special, now you are the same amount of special in being judged, and they won't tell me the judgements because this all happens very fast in the mind, but I can see the reaction, where they don't accept me like in the beggining of the conversation and thereforce I can't look at them in the eyes and make a normal conection of I am seeing who you are right now, or just laugh with them I don't know
With keeping the previous in mind, where it’s very unlikely that you are actually seeing what another person is going through other than picking up on some ‘surface’ indications, it’s is equally unlikely that they can ‘see right through you’ and react to what they see ‘inside of you’. As they too, would be seeing you through their mind’s eye and interpretation. Unless you’ve asked and cross referenced as to why they are reacting, or what they are experiencing – you can’t say that they are reacting to who you are inside.
Then, there’s actually another layer involved, which is your perception of who you are inside
. Are you really like a calm lake inside yourself? Or is this only an interpretation of a certain energetic state inside, which you’re identifying with/believing it is YOU, but it’s just another layer of your mind… Who you are currently consists of so many layers, your conscious mind, subconscious mind, unconscious mind, quantum mind, quantum physical, your body, your being,… Unless you’ve practically worked with each one of these layers and are familiar with their dynamics through and through, and have proven change in them – being able to tell ‘what is you’ and ‘what is your mind’ is a very risky gamble. Over and over through the years I’ve had to re-evaluate who I think I am and what is actually just another pattern playing out that I was so ‘in it’ that I couldn’t see it for what it was. There have been countless moments where I thought I was clear and stable, only to be shown that I was still in some kind of resonant energetic possession.
So realise that it takes years of practice, application, falling, correcting and cross referencing to work through your mind. As such, stating that you are a ‘free mind’ or ‘free of mind’ while others are not and that they are ‘reacting to you freedom’, indicates that there are various filters of perception in place, because you are not in fact, free of your mind – as you have not yet walked the entirety of deconstructing your mind and birthing yourself as life from the physical.
What I would focus on at this stage, within the context of your post is:
“Why am I not asking/cross referencing what I see?” – where in terms of the eye contact, you’ve constructed for yourself a certain narrative as to ‘why it plays out as it does’ – but haven’t actually asked the people who are part of the story if what you see is an accurate reflection of reality.
As long as we don’t actually check and cross reference reality, we’re free to hold on to any version of truth pertaining reality because nothing tells us ‘otherwise’. Kind of like the principle of ‘innocent until proven guilty’ – you will assume that you are ‘right until proven wrong’ – but won’t place yourself in a position where you can be proven ‘wrong’, through for instance, asking and communicating – and so, you can comfortably be rest assured that ‘you are right in what you are seeing’.
Have a look at the current narrative you’ve constructed for yourself:
* I can read people’s minds
* I am different to other people
* I am free, other people are robots
* I am special
* I am superior to other people because they react to my ‘liberated self’
* I must help other people
If you look at these statements/opinions of yourself, they’re positively charged, they make you ‘feel good about yourself’ where you are in the ‘right’ and it’s the people around you that need to change – where you shift the focus of attention and so responsibility to others.
We make ourselves feel better about ourselves when we inherently feel bad, wrong, less and inferior – we constantly balance out polarity design. So I would look at both positively charged beliefs as well as negatively charged beliefs that you hold about yourself. And to use these eye contact moments to purely reflect on who you are in that moment
and if you want to involve another person, to actually communicate/ask/speak to them to ensure you’re not relying on your interpretation of the situation.
This Buddha interview on EQAFE
gives some perspective on reaching ‘silence’ but not actually birthing yourself as life from the physical. If I find some more good material on what it actually means to birth yourself as life from the physical I will place them here later in another post.