539: Who Are you In your Expectations of Others?
A couple months ago we got a ton of snow in our area, and left our vehicles buried, with us requiring to shovel them out. There are four of us living in our house, using the driveway, and when only my partner and I were shoveling it out, I went into some reactions about the other two who also use the driveway.
For me it revealed expectations I have towards others, that I don't necessarily live myself. And wanting others to 'follow the rules' as per some law or guidelines, instead of giving more value to the principles in which we guide ourselves, as individuals, instead of needing something external to 'show us the way'.
Definitely things to reflect on for myself - taking the reaction back to myself in seeing the real issue I have was ME, not anyone else. If each can stand within such a position, taking responsibility for THEMSELVES - man, what a world that would be.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to always look at others to blame for my experience
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my resistance towards the snow, and shoveling
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for not stepping up, and doing their part when it comes to our communal driveway where shoveling is necessary
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to hold themselves responsible for the place we live because legally they are, but not hold myself to the same level of responsibility simply for myself
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect the law force people to be responsible instead of realizing it comes on a level within self - self must make the decision to be responsible - that is when it is real, not when something external, such as a rule, or law telling them what to do, or who to be
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define the snow/winter within a negative association and define shoveling as annoying
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist the work it takes to shovel my car out of the snow instead of realizing it must be practically done and so there is no need for reactions to get it done, you just physically get it done. end of story.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others who don't help me shovel as being lazy, or not willing to help me if it doesn't somehow serve them instead of realizing that I do exactly the same thing... I would not go out of my way to help another if I define it as hard work, or difficult, or something I don't want to do
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist doing 'hard work' - which is simply physical work, things that are necessary to be done sometimes, but instead find ways to avoid it
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live the principle of do unto another as you would have done unto yourself yet expect others to
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect others to do things because I think it's the right thing to do, and I think they are responsible to do something, and when they don't, bad mouth them within my mind as judgement and blame instead of realizing the responsibility I have equally to the situation - wherein I park my car in the same space
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect the laws to enforce responsibility within people instead of realizing only self-responsibility matters and just because a law says something is right or wrong, doesn't actually make it correct
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to embrace the situations wherein I must move myself physically to shovel out the snow.. as using my body as how it's capable, and being in nature and the environment - enjoying the sights and the sounds and the smells... recognizing and honoring such a moment as a moment needing to be recognized and for me to stop the inner-storm of reactions to be able to direct myself most effectively, and with the least amount of resistance - making it a moment of growth, and self honesty and not to berate and judge others
When and as I see myself reacting to others not helping out with shoveling the snow in our communal drive way, or wherever there is more than just me that uses a space requiring maintenance, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that the reactions i have to such a situation, wherein I expect others to help me, reveals I am not actually willing to help out myself if I were in their position and so within this, I commit myself to realize the reactions have nothing to do with another, or others, but simply revealing a point within me requiring self-honesty, and self-responsibility
When and as I see myself wishing others would be forced to act in certain ways as per some law, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that wanting something external to force people to be and act in a way I deem acceptable reveals I require something external to move/direct/influence me to be responsible as acting in ways I see are acceptable and so here I commit myself to stop projecting a want unto others, and rather look at where I can direct myself WITHOUT a law hovering over me telling me what to do, and rather use the principle of 'do unto another as you would have done unto yourself,' as the point of equality - giving as I would like to receive -
When and as I see myself resisting being in nature, doing physical work necessary to be done, I stop and I breathe. I see, realize, and understand that to allow myself to resist and react to such a moment creates a moment of missing what is here - of what is physically real around me, and the opportunity to physically ground myself in some real work and so I commit myself to rather embrace moments where I resist some work, as a point of really getting in there, and standing stable within myself, in moving myself physically, and opening myself up to the sights, and smells, and sounds of the real world.
I commit myself to stop expecting from others what I'm not willing to do for myself
I commit myself to expect from myself what I expect from others
I commit myself to make myself priority in terms of giving attention to where I require to step up, and stand up, and not accept anything less than what I'm actually capable of
I commit myself to stop berating people within my mind when I think they are not doing their part
I commit myself to ensure I am doing my part before I even think about looking at how another is directing themselves
I commit myself to take responsibility for ME as the source from what I experience myself - in realizing that whatever I experience, the good, the bad, the ugly, come up from within/as myself - not anyone else's doing and so I commit myself to honor that space within me that influence my experience and response to what is going on around me