Day 179 - Am I Really Taking All Things Into Consideration?
Tonight I am expanding on the previous post in which I open up the point of how one can often face a point where there is a tendency to follow one’s “gut” feeling, or go with what “feels right”, or seek the point of immediate satisfaction or relief instead of slowing down and really having a self-honest look at the decision that is before us and not letting our own egos get in the way of making the choice that is best for all.
One thing that I notice about commitments and what “best for all” actually implies – is that it is in NO WAY based on or compelled by our emotions or feelings, and can in no way be dependent on energy – such as a constant/continuous sense of “excitement” about something or a prolonged sense of “duty” or “obligation” that compels a person to work hard.
The reason why what is “best for all” cannot be in any way directed by such starting points is that those starting points can only be sustained for so long before the ENERGY runs out – and once that happens the “motivation” to do what one saw as “best for all” begins to fade – and then one is exposed and must face oneself in having to see and realize that they were not in fact doing what was best for all, but rather they were only doing what “felt right”, what “felt good”, and what gave them a sense of PURPOSE which was only a temporary experience that was not going to last forever.
This is a point that I here bring back to myself and reflect for/as myself – this question of what is actually best for all and what does commitment mean within the context of best for all? And here, more specifically what is my relationship to the resistances that come up – the backchats that arise from within me when I face a point in my world/reality that conflicts with the commitments that I had made for myself? Who am I when I “Change my mind” or when I do something that is less than or contrary to my own commitments?
One thing that I do see clearly and thus will use as part of the foundation for my definition of “Best for All” – is that one CANNOT rely on a feeling or an “inspiration” to keep oneself motivated to continue. For myself, this is something that I have definitely allowed myself to backslide on quite a few times – which is where I will face a point and I would for instance not get it right away, or I would be stuck in the same dimension/point for days, weeks, or sometimes months – and here I would more and more shift away from my commitments to myself and the principle of doing what is best for all because in my MIND it would seem “justified” – because I was feeling “low” or because I was not “in a good place” – and therefore I excuse myself more and more from sticking to the point of commitment and doing what is best for all DESPITE how I am feeling or what I am going through personally – because life is not a PERSONAL thing and certainly there is much work to be done in our world that takes priority over my feelings and my personal “funks”.
So what does this mean? What does this imply practically? It means that the excuse of feeling low or tired or depressed or angry or frustrated is not valid in terms of keeping with my commitments and doing my best no matter what, and ensuring that I support myself effectively and support others in the way that I would like to be supported one and equal ESPECIALLY when it is the last thing that I want to do.
Here, I will walk/share self-forgiveness in terms of bringing this insight of what is best for all within my practical decisions and living as the beginning step of my self-correction and alignment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make my personal preferences and personal desire/need/want and secret agendas to take priority over what is best for all and to NOT take into consideration that this is not MY world and this reality is not here to service or provide me with resources and energy so that I can further separate myself from what is here.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand until now that constantly holding on to emotions and feelings and grudges from/about the past is not actually assisting myself or anyone else in this world effectively – because while I am generating more and more energy as an experience for myself in keeping all of the guilt and regret and anger “alive” within me, I am taxing my physical body – taxing the very substance of me that gives me life unconditionally – and here in self-interest I had not considered how ultimately self-serving and spiteful it is for me to continue holding on to such experiences, to feel “sorry” about myself, to “regret” my past – when the world is in dire trouble and daily is pushed to the brink of destruction with little indication that humanity will let go of our self-interest, and yet the world does not “give up” – it keeps turning – it keeps going with all that is here – and does not stop to wallow in its misery or hide itself out of shame, with no guarantee that tomorrow will be better, or that there even will be a tomorrow, and in this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the will, the stability, the consistency, and the integrity of this physical world which has given me life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when facing a problem within my world or within my relationships, to first go into how this will affect ME and how this makes ME feel, and to give priority to how I am reacting or experiencing this issue personally instead of realizing that this is not just about “me” – that everything here in this world is interrelated and interdependent and that behind the veils that we put up as our egos, as our emotions and reactions toward each other, as the ideas and judgments that we form and later associate with certain people in our lives – behind all of that lies the awareness that we are all actually equal and that NOBODY is in fact truly “happy” or “content” – that even those who seemingly have it “all together” are facing inner demons and having to suppress their backchat and internal conflicts – because the only way true contentment, true happiness, and true fulfillment can exist in this world, is for those expressions to be EQUAL – for all of us to be able to drop our veils and veneers and personalities and coded words – to be able to speak to each other without fear, without holding back, without judgment, doing everything we can to support ourselves and each other because we dared to see and realize that we ARE each other.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when faced with points in my reality where I am tempted to just give in… just “one more time” and not live my commitment to do all that I can in each moment in consideration of what is best for all, not take into consideration until now all that has transpired in this world for me to even be at this moment where I apparently have a “choice” to not do what is best for all and take all that has been given to me and all that our world and the countless lives that share it have gone through, are still going through, and likely will continue to go through, because we have not yet dared to live what is best for all in each moment but will blame “others” for not standing up –
And here, I bring this to myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand absolutely and use the excuse of “others” in the world who I just as not standing and thus will not give my all, will not do what is best for all, will not stand absolutely for myself and be an example for the “others” or consider looking at how I can best assist and support the “others” to not accept their own limitations or fears.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when faced with the prospect of new projects, new potential relationships, new careers, and new excitement that seems to feel “good” and feel “right” and will earn me validation from my peers and others in the world, to TRUST those feelings of validation and feeling “good” and convincing myself that I am doing the “right thing” based on those impulses of excitement and in this, not self-honestly slow down and consider what it is that I am ACTUALLY participating in and how easy it is to compromise myself under the banner of doing “what is best for all” when the starting point was energy, was excitement, was me falling into a character/personality of superiority and ego, convincing myself that I apparently know what is best and should trust my mind’s decisions and calculations instead of sticking with a point of commitment no matter what and ensure that I am not moved or influenced when things get tough and things get REAL.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear letting go of the trust I have given to my own mind as my ego, as my personalities, as my way of “reasoning” and my way of looking at the world and my relationship/responsibility within it – and to have depended on this trust in my mind and ego in place of making decisions and commitments for myself and taking responsibility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist/fear/suppress the responsibility of being ALIVE and to realize that being ALIVE means I stop being automated – that I stop allowing my decisions to come served to me on a golden platter where all I have to do is just go with what I “feel like” and what will make me most “happy” when happiness cannot in fact exist when there is suffering in this world – that to truly be ALIVE I must stand within each decision and breath and ensure that I am really here, participating and taking all things into consideration – that I do my best at all times to give as I would like to receive and to ensure that this is reflected in my words and in my actions and in my decisions, understanding that this will at times place me into conflict with my ego and that this may at times mean that I must stick to the principle of my commitments – ESPECIALLY if/when I must be gentle when I want to be angry – when I must be forceful when I want to be passive – when I need to stand up when I want to step back – when I must be accepting and push myself to understand another unconditionally when I want to blame and be judgmental and make THEM take responsibility for my experiences/reactions.
I commit myself to explore and integrate the principle of what is best for all in what I do in my daily life and in my considerations – to continue to push this point until it becomes me as a part of who I am.
I commit myself to, when and as I see and notice that I am about to make a decision that is less than what is best for all – to stop, breathe, and consider whether or not my decision in this moment is the decision that LIFE would make on behalf of all LIFE, if it were in my shoes right now, and align myself to do what is best for all and not allow resistance or ego or internal experiences of friction/conflict define me – to rather dare to walk “through” that wall of resistance because I see and understand that my “life” is here in many ways by the grace of the world itself – that I alive and have an opportunity to do what billions of people are not able to do with the lives that they currently must live, and had I been born in their position, I would want for others who have the opportunity to change this world – to do everything in their power to bring that change into reality and not just focus on themselves, but take life into consideration in all that they do – and so this is what I will myself and commit myself to align to, to give to others in this world what I would like to have been given, one and equal –that no matter which life I may find myself in, it will be a life worth living that has dignity and the opportunity for expression and true joy in the course of that life, and to ensure that this is the kind of world that all life will be born into. - See more at: http://joesjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2 ... QOVke.dpuf