Gian's Journey to Life

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Gian
Posts: 1037
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Day 5 – Reactive behaviour

Postby Gian » 21 Aug 2017, 23:44

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... viour.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as bad when and as I go into reactive behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into reactive behavior judge myself as already being too late to stop the reaction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into reactive behavior of what some has said, where I got triggered to react and to in that moment not feel like I can hold myself back, go into the energy and possession of the energy and to follow the energy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I follow the energy of being in a reactive possession believe that it is good, that it has a point and to within that get carried away and speak and behave in a way that I cannot take back what I have said or done, and so go into the feeling of now it is too late, I have fucked up, and to start identifying myself with the reactive behavior as who I am and that I am now bad and cannot change and so already create the next reactive behavior moment where I will now trust this behavior and believe that behavior is good for me, because it allowed me to let a lot of things out where I feel good yet disregarded the other person or people within my behavior.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I am in reactive behavior to believe that this reactive behavior has come up for a reason and thus it must have a point, and thus act out the point and impose this reactive behavior onto others, when in fact the point was for me to stop the reactive behavior and to take a look at what someone else has said and why that made me react and what is the point within me that I need to look at and that it has nothing to do with the other person.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I go into a reaction where my behavior changes, my voice changes, my beingness changes and I start resonating off a certain energy of dominance, self-righteousness to FLAG this as a red flag, to not go into it, to not speak further, to rather stop, breathe and low down, see what is here within me, and to within this FIRST sort out myself and then only speak, if I find I am unable to in that moment stop, I commit myself to not speak, to not say a thing until I have taken the point back to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to harm and hurt others with my words and my physical behaviors that change in how I hold myself with my words and through what I am saying by accepting and allowing to take on this reactive behavior as who I am and that it means something, that it has a point.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see the harm that I cause when and as I go into reactive behavior when and as someone else says something that activated reactions within me, that is of me inherently, and to within that take my personal point and super impose it onto the other person and to within this disregard the other person completely and thus hurt them, harm them in ways that I do not understand as I was possessed and consumed only within y own energies only thinking about myself and not what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be mean and ugly when and as I go into the reactive behavior and to within this take on a totally new and different character that I do not like, yet I play the character and afterwards I do not know myself and can only them play into a polarity game of how I feel and how I make others feel the whole time, always trapping myself between good and bad and never standing as me as life one and equal as clarity and as best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel and believe that when and as I am within a reactive point as my behavior that I am acting out that I am in some point of power and thus within this attach and learn and believe that this reactive behavior gives me power and so start to enjoy and fear it at the same time, as it can be unpredictable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deceive myself within the point of playing out reactive behavior and to allow it, to go into it, to NOT stop it, and to then create consequences that I yet do not understand but will have to live through and feel it and learn and see it, instead of seeing and realizing that real power is here within me t STOP the reactive behavior and to breathe and to rather be still till I am clear and only speak once I am here as what is best for all and not my own personal reaction and personal points of flushing my shit out onto another.



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Gian
Posts: 1037
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Day 6 - What stops me from cheating?

Postby Gian » 22 Aug 2017, 21:11

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... ating.html

Before reading this blog – please, if you find any point you judge yourself on or comparing with me, do not do so, but if it comes up, rather at the end leave a comment, ask and discuss. This is but a Blog, not 9 years of specific details.



I have been in a Desteni Agreement for nine years now. I have not once cheated on my wife, I have not once even tried, or spoken to another women with the intention or the attraction to do so, even after Marriage, even after having a child and sex was very little for a very long time, and still is. So what is the secret?

First, I have to inform you that it is in my programming to cheat, to have multiple girlfriends (women) in my life, this is what I did and used to do before I went into an agreement nine years ago.
The Sexual force was strong in me, and I followed it religiously. I enjoyed the game of getting girls, playing around, taking risks, and always being around lots of women, chatting up dozens of girls at a time, hook up with a few here and there and then see where I can score.

Now, I must first and foremost make something very clear, the Desire comes up within me for wanting to go back into this every now and then, it is actually always here, I desire having more or multiple women in my life, but then how do I do it to not even once follow it, to not be led into temptation, not even in my words by accident, or in my behaviors towards or with other women, even when it is in my design/programming to do it so easily, without effort.

I used to fall in love and be attracted to almost any women instantly after meeting them and I would have the same “love” feeling for all the women I ever met and came in contact with, I could never say to one I love you and not to the other as well, I always thought it was a disease that I was attracted to any women almost instantly, I could in a matter of minutes already see myself in a long term relationship with a girl I just met, and if this same girl brought a friend along, I would equally be the same towards her. I found it very annoying at times, especially that one has to choose and only go with one partner.

The answer is simple and yet at the same time very difficult. The process was difficult as well to get to this point, in fact the first two years of being in the agreement with my partner the habits and patterns wanted to kick in and I wanted out of the agreement a few times through how I behaved and spoke, my thoughts and mind was all over the place.

Yet, here I am.

First and foremost, It is all thanks to DESTENI and the message, the re-education of me with all the information that Desteni provides within understanding the MIND, what are thoughts, what are feelings and emotions, how do they work, and I must say the most important for me within all of this is that I understood that NO thought, feeling or emotion is EVER real unless we act on it, thus I always know that when a thought come sup, a feeling or emotion, it isn’t real unless I act on it, and thus I BREATHE and I let go of the thoughts, the feelings and emotions.

Then, the agreement was extremely important that I had to understand what is an agreement – it is really simple, TWO people walking together this life yet individual their process of re-birthing themselves as life and to within this be physical support for one another, not emotional and mind support.

Here is the catch, I had to actually have NO choice within this, as in do I want to do it or not, because once I understood why I am walking this process of Desteni for myself and thus with another being, there is no choice, there is no do I want to or not, there is simply BREATH and do this.

Here are a few key points that I ground myself with, with having this design/programming and how I stand within discipline absolutely within this specific point.

1. No matter with what women I am in an agreement with, I will always be me, so no OTHER women will change me or make me experience me any different, and thus if I follow my programming I will always end up where I simply follow my programming again and again, and thus never change and actually face myself effectively to change.

2. ALL humans are minds/programmes/designs – thus if I see a picture as the form of another women and I am attracted to that and go after that and base a relationship off of that, I will inevitably end up with again the programmes/design (thus nothing different) and they have to be faced, and thus cheating or dishonoring the agreement will only be me fucking myself up more and more and in the same process harm others and thus nothing will change.

3. This one is more personal and based on who I am within an agreement with right now, thus this one can change for others if for example one person is abusive, physically or emotionally – If I cannot walk with the person I am within an agreement with now, then I cannot walk with anyone else equal and one, it is as simple as that, thus leaving my partner for a design/program will only be me deceiving myself on many levels.

4. Understanding and walking as that understanding daily that NO person is actually different except the form/image and thus the form image can and will change at any time and thus I will always end up facing the same regardless, either sooner or later.

5. Live what is best for all life – basic Desteni principle – this includes stopping ones thoughts, feelings and emotions, ones fantasies, imagination that is NOT within this reality and practical and not bets for all life, within the understanding that all of this was literally programmed into us, as we are organic robots designed and created by the Reptilian race (annunaki, yes you probably do not want to hear that, but it damn supported) as shared in detail by and through the Portal.

Ok, that is what I have to share for now in relation t this point, as I have now walked it for many years and I have proven through space and time that I STAND and that the Desteni tools in fact work if applied effectively, this obviously includes LOTS of self-forgiveness and self-writing on all the points that open up.

Please feel free to ask questions, I have lots to share, don’t be shy. If you are married, if you have children, if you are having any issues – I can support within this, but consider, any advice is useless without application.




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