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Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

I just don’t FEEL like it – that’s all, Day 8 of 21 – Day 593

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I just don’t feel like it = confirmation of mind-control, what is this FEELing? (the only things we should be feeling with is the physical, like our hands) where does it come from? And how can it decide for you what to do or not to do? How can this “I just don’t feel like it” even make you NOT act and live what is presented to you in common sense and what’s best for all LIFE?
Let me go a bit deeper, more personal.

Have you ever seen a healthy person, they are Fit and young and it looks like they have all the energy in the world to do whatever they want – but as soon as they need to do anything that isn’t for themselves, they will state “I just don’t feel like it” – not per say in those exact way, in fact they will say “I just don’t feel like it” in every possible way they can except that direct. Because what will happen if this person had to directly say to your face “ I just don’t feel like it” – especially if you just asked them to help you carry a heavy cupboard and you have an injured back from previously lifting something heavy all alone. Such a person will then have to face themselves, their utter dishonesty and abuse of the physical, where their body, their being everything is ONLY for themselves, which will directly confirm why the world is fucked, how can such a person live – love thy neighbor as thy self, give as you would like to receive, do onto another as you would like to be done onto – when a feeling decides everything, how YOU feel about it. Shame, poor you. The luxury to participate in the “I just don’t feel like it” – while 25 000 children die of starvation a day, maybe they wanted to say, you know what, today I just don’t feel like it, to starve, let’s give it a break, how about children Dying in war right now? How about the ocean and air and forests and well, basically the entire earth that is raped and fucked, could just say, HEY, you know what, I just don’t feel like it” let’s stop existing, let’s stop giving air to all living things on earth, just for today. Fuck it, because we just don’t feel like it, let’s at least make up a damn good reason why we aren’t able to do anything, lets at least give a super duper good reason that makes sense, that sounds logical, that sounds like a line of good words, just to east the minds of why we just don’t give a fuck.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not do something just because I do not feel like it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not question where this feeling comes from that feels like it has taken control over my entire body to just not feel like doing anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give the resistance I experience to move myself from the feeling of “I just do not feel like it” power over my common sense and self-honesty.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that just like trinity in the matrix movie number one where she jumped through the window and fell on the floor with her guns pointed at the window waiting for the agent to get her, she has to remind herself to MOVE, to get up and move, to not give the time for the agent to get to that point where it is too late and to then face the consequences, but to get myself OUT of the feeling, the wanting to wait rather than moving myself, wanting to just lay and do nothing based on a feeling, than stand UP and move myself to be the one directing, to take action, to live what is best for all and not give time to the agents of the system as my thoughts, as my MIND to take me over.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Headache - what can create one? Day 9 of 21 - Day 594

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http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... -9-of.html

I woke up this morning with a headache, now waking up with a headache for me is very strange, and this headache was very annoying, it is heavy, every slight movement I make where my head is moving, I feel the headache. All day I had to move slowly, I had to be aware of all my movement a lot more.

I assessed what the headache can be, is it due to something physically missing or lacking in the body? Or a mind point. So I drank water and ate fruits and more meals, as I felt my body needed, yet the headache is still here. So now in Self-forgiveness I will open up my experience towards the headache.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate this headache.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame this headache for LIMITING my movements and participation of me during my day and to within this Blame, blame my body for creating this headache, when I know the body does not create headaches, but how I participate and use the body and thus how I accept and allow the mind to run free within doing with the body as it pleases. And thus I am responsible and I must take self-responsibility for my creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to over think many things during my day instead of acting/living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to THINK about what I want to do and to just keep thinking about it, not acting on it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize when I SEE what is here and what I can do and I do not act on it, if I do not live what I SEE is possible here and to either direct myself to live it, do it later of right now, and to rather go and THINK more and more on it, and thus when I do not act when I SEE I turn all the potential of the physical into thinking and thoughts and regrets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this headache that compromises my physical movement as a reflection of how I have been compromising my physical movement when I do not act but rather turn the potential of me HERE into thoughts, into future and then past and to never LIVE, for real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to JUDGE myself when and as I see what is HERE as the physical living potential of and as ME and to rather go into the mind and not expand myself, live creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when and as I see a physical living potential where I will benefit and ALL to rather go into the mind as limitations, where I start thinking, I am not ready for this, I need to prepare more for this, I am not professional enough for this, I do not look good enough to do this, I do not have the skills right now that matches what I want to create YET so best that I do nothing at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to LIVE in my mind as thinking as imagination, as I am unable to breathe and direct my reality as the physical when and as I see, and thus as time pass by I create distrust within me within what I see as I have never established trust within myself to simply trust myself and to act, to respond, to create what is HERE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accumulate a headache over so much time of living within the mind and not living, and thus now facing the consequences of my action as my physical body being compromised, where a headache is a red light for where the body is already SO full of accumulated energy that the body/brain cannot even handle it anymore, like a soda bottle that has been shaken and needs to be opene4d up, and thus I can see this is a red light and that if I continue any further the way I have been living I will accumulate more headaches and over time more other physical problems that will match my LIVING one and equal and thus my LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place high expectations on myself of what I am supposed to live, and to within this compromise what I can live and to never act or live but wait and wait and to within this waiting for the right time, when I may be able to live up to my expectations later on create within my mind a mountain of what I haven’t lived and thus must when I am ready make up for all the times and moments I haven’t lived.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be a headache to my physical body and capabilities, where I place everything in my head and not live here what’s possible, what is best for all and myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Hold myself back and to rather move back into the mind and so place myself in the back of LIFE and not being an active participant as a creator of me and thus this world that is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Judge myself and who I am and what I can say, express, do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR living – what I SEE and to act, to respond, to be responsible, and to rather give into the fear as reasons, justifications and logic to why I am not living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to wish this headache away without having to physical correct myself of having to investigate the headache and how its manifestation came to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hate the headache and to just want the headache to go away, the same way as I have dealt with creating the headache to when and as I see what is here o be done, to be lived to bring about my utmost potential, to just make it go away and to just not having to live it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fight the headache, just as I have been fighting myself to live and to let go of fear to stop the thinking about it and to rather LIVE it and be it, to test it out to develop myself and to be HERE.

I commit myself to when and as I see what is here as to live, to be my utmost potential, to act upon it, to breathe and to push through to not accept and allow ME to become thought, to exist as thought and every other dimension that then forms and takes creation within me as thoughts/thinking and imagination, that is always of consequences that isn’t best for all, and not myself but harmful to the body and of abuse.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

When the world isn’t changing blame the world, Day 10 of 21 – Day 595

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http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... world.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Blame people, the world for not seeing common sense and within self-honesty that they can be the change that is necessary, seeing and realizing that I am externalizing this point onto others, and thus not taking the point back to self, and so as I see others do not change, I get discouraged, I feel more dis-empowered and as if chances for change is even less, and so I Blame others for how I am starting to experience myself and thus how I am living and acting in response to this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself o dis-empower myself through what see others are doing within falling and no standing as the solution and to within this Blame others for my stance, what I stand for and to be the living example, to compromise myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to put hope in others to stand and to stand one and equal with me and to place my stance on this hope, and so as I see others fall and go off track I lose hope and within losing this hope I compromise my stance, and attempt to compensate for others and so as I attempt to compensate I start blaming other people for my burden being even more, and thus I see and realize that I am attempting to carry the responsibility of others on me and so when I feel burdened and like giving up, I blame others, yet I am the one who placed the burden onto myself and compromised my stance and thus lost my stance, and so also go on to blame others for me losing my stance, and thus I see and realize that I cannot blame, as all my actions was my decisions, following fear and paranoia and thus showed me that I wasn’t standing actually from the beginning, and so this gives me the opportunity to reflect and to take self-responsibility once again and to stop the creation of the blame game.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for me being discouraged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame others for my failures.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place hope in others and to even participate within hope and thus lose touch with reality and with my own process, my own standing as an example, as I am looking outward instead of inward and what stands here as me and that this stance must stand and be able to stand alone for eternity, even when no one else stands.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to externalize my standing and to make it dependent on others, realizing that I must stand with others and that with others this process of global change is the only possible way, yet those that come and go in the meantime should not change my standing through values I have placed on certain people and their standing and what it means.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to SEE no hope within this world and to within this create hope of illusions within my daily living where I place hope in how I see others stand and move and direct, and thus when such a person dies or disappears I suddenly am faced with myself and seeing and realizing that I haven’t yet in fact fully been living as the example I would like to see within this world as change and so become dishearten, discouraged and the possibility for me to fall becomes even greater and so I blame others and yet here I stand as the example of why others failed and thus I never stood myself as the example for why others can and must stand. So I see and realize I must change my stance, realign my principles, and check my starting point, how I go here, why I am here, and what is the FIRE within me doing this for me and all life, as I see I have forgotten though externalizing myself and living in a Blame game that made me LAME and thus unable to effectively move and direct myself.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

The reality of I have Limited Time, Day 11 0f 21 – Day 596

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Realizing that there is a limited time this life time is quit a scary realization. We somehow live as if death will never come for us, as if we have more time to wait and to postpone and to participate in our daily patterns, habits, and how we have accepted and allowed ourselves to be.

Yet, the reality is, there is an end time, a point where it is too late. When this time is, is unknown, yet we know it is here, Death is probably the only fact we can all confirm currently in this world, and NO opinion or belief or idea about it, will change that fact, you and me are going to die. Our flesh is going to rot and return back to the earth to substance.

We do however have opinions, believes and Ideas about what happens after death, when “we” move on – yet this is all it is, opinions, believes and ideas, because I can ask myself one simple question that will bring this point of what happens after death to me to a stable realization of, shit, I am fucked after death - this question is – who is moving on as “me” after death?

Let me explain this question – but one has to be really self-honest within looking at it. Let’s say I have about 10 different personalities – these personalities are determined by who I am with, where I am and what I am doing, they are all different, and we can all confirm these different personalities, where we are different people, living different lives – so who the fuck is moving on after death? Which personality? Who are you? The fact that I/you are not certain on who we are without any personality, means we are fucked, because the fact that personalities can change shows they are not real and thus will not continue after death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that WHO I am currently as personality and characters formed within energy in and as the mind as Programming/brainwashing from and of my parents/society/culture and so on will live for ever, seeing and realizing just as moods can change, which shows that any personality/character isn’t real as it can just change, so will I change at death and NOT know who I am and so I know that I will be fucked and End at death, and Yet I continue to live as if who I am is just fucking perfect and normal and that everything will be okay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the IDEA and Believes sold to me by those that has gone before me that I will continue to exist after death without ever actually creating myself, and thus I can just live on as if I am going to live and exist forever and thus do not really have to give a shit about myself or this world, because when death comes I will be save, which is a LIE, as I know I cannot tell what happened or where I came from before I was born, so who the fuck can tell me what’s going to come and if it is real or not? Especially if I myself cannot even at will leave my body as I know I do not exist yet, but only energy as personality as energy as the mind which ends at death.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I will exist and live on after death without actually creating myself, completely living in an Illusion of reality of consumerism, where we believe shit can be bought or just given to us if we have money, the rotten child syndrome.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the illusion that I exist just because I am here, yet I Fear death, which shows I do not yet exist because I fear me now existing after death, and thus I know this is a confirmation to myself that as long as I fear Death, I know I am not a living being yet, as Death will “change” me. And as long as I can change and not stand as LIFE in all dimensions, then I am not real HERE as all life as who I am in fact within common sense, yet not realized as a living fact as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can wait till tomorrow to changer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that if I am not changing a pattern or habit then I might as well accept it for now and maybe later on change it, as I am too lazy to just fucking breathe and change.

I forgive myself That I have accepted and allowed myself to AVOID looking at the fact that I have limited time here in this form on this planet for now to create myself in FACT as LIFE and to change the Bullshit on all dimensions of this existence starting with myself right HERE and not tomorrow or in ten years or fucking a maybe, but to actually push in each breath the points that is HERE and so move every day to create myself as a LIVING physical being and to remove myself from the debt based MIND as personalities and characters that is based on the past and depends on the past to exist.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

When the Failure Character takes over - application to correction is the way forward - Day 597

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http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... -over.html



Self-correction takes one moment in self-directed movement to apply and live. This is an act of self-forgiveness if it is done within self-directed movement, not based on how you feel, it is to move and direct self regardless of how one feels and to breathe and move forward.

About a Month ago I started a 21 day challenge of writing Self-forgiveness in my blogs. I failed.
My failure did not come as me saying, Ok I am not doing it today, or I do not feel like doing it today, in fact it was my “desire” to write my blog for that day. Due to circumstances, I had no laptop, no internet and I was in a completely different environment the day I broke this challenge.

The Feeling of failure and disappointment came over me the following day, for not completing this challenge. I felt that I have not only failed me but everyone else that was following this challenge of mine, and even some that joined in on the same challenge.

I did not write a Blog that following day either, due to me still being in this different environment and having NO laptop, no internet, and I stayed at this different place for a week. I saw no possible way for me to continue with the challenge, I had my phone with me and some shared wifi at times.

After the week was over and already seven days of no writing happened, the judgement of failure has taken over to such an extent that I did not even feel like writing anymore, I felt that it was a waste of time now to continue with this challenge, the point of the challenge was missed, I had two options, starting over or not continue the challenge at all.

Then, another week passed, and I have done nothing. I have succumbed to my experience of failure, in fact I have now been living this failure, this failure has now become a norm, I have accepted and allowed it to exist as me, as who I am within this challenge, this point. Not only did it effect my writing, the challenge, I started seeing this point of failure coming through in all parts of my life, a sort of depression, giving up on things, and feeling like just not continuing doing what I have done in terms of writing, social media, showing my face, speaking out, placing my words, and standing openly, because of one point of failure, that I have judged instead of forgiving myself and starting over, has now effected all parts of life, without even noticing. It became normal actions, as it my life was changing naturally into that of a failure.

This is why I write today, because this is my actions of forgiving myself and letting go of what the mind took advantage of and directed my reality, and the real power lies within action/living, not thinking and festering within the mind on what happened, what was, who is judging me, me judging me, and getting lost in an alternate reality.

I expected forgiveness from others, I expected others to understand my situation, I expected approval from others to start over, that it is okay, Yet it never came, so I waited, one week after the other, and then another week more, no one was giving me the thumbs up to start over, only I had that power and authority, no matter how bad I have judged my failure, I must stop and forgive and start over for myself.

So I will from Monday/Tomorrow start over with my 21 days challenge of writing self-forgiveness and I will myself to walk this point for myself.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Day 599 – there is NO happy ending pre-programmed Day 2 of 21

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http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... g-pre.html

Excuse me if this blog comes through as angry or aggressive or whatever else you as the reader may experience, but this is how I talk in real life sometimes with people about these matters. Just not with energy behind it. The words and how I express them really brings the reality of the points forth for me to not fall in any illusion about what I am saying.

I found this hidden point within me, where I still believe that there is somehow a happy ending at the end of all of this, what if there is no happy ending, what if the only possible way for any happy ending is literally if everyone walks the Desteni Process? Then we are currently fucked. Haha (just a point of consideration) not to demotivate, but instead to motivate. To realize the commitment and walking and standing of myself. There is NO ending to this till we all have CREATED a happy ending, not waiting for pre-programming to lay out a happy ending that requires us to wait, which shows what? We are fucked, because then we are just going the same way as now. No different. And it starts with self-forgiveness, self –correcting, becoming the Virus of correction within one’s own life and environment for LIFE, oneness and equality as a living example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if there is going to be a fucking happy ending as the movies has taught me how shit works, no matter how shitty it gets.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is a happy ending for me in this story called LIFE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live as if everything is going to be okay for ME ONLY, while BILLIONS suffer on this exact same planet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I can live my life and forget about everything else in this world because there is apparently NO matter what I do a fucking happy ending at the end of this story of mine.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to SEE and realEYES that Death is everyone’s ending and it isn’t happy, and at death we do not leave the shit behind that we have accepted and allowed as ourselves as this world, as above so below, as within so without, there is NO fucking escaping and no happy ending UNLESS I give up the mind and stand as life for all life in oneness and equality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall in the illusions that has been sold to me on TV and Movies where no matter how much war or fighting or struggling happens there is always a ending where shit is happy and working again, which is not what will happen in this planet in reality, how the fuck do you reverse the damage you have done to your MOTHER earth? It requires YEARS if not decades of correction and deliberate change, there is NO fucking magical way to fix it, there is no government that is going to fix it, there is no secret society that is going to fix it, there is YOU and me waking up and fixing it right now and HERE as we are capable but we have a problem, the mind is in the way, it is our fucking god. We can’t stop consuming, we can’t stop even the thoughts, and how are we going to change? Where is this happy ending?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in a fairy tale movie that has been sold to me where the end of the world is coming closer but somehow I can remain calm, somehow I still believe that there is a fucking happy ending????

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there is such a thing as a happy ending at all, when a child can be sold as a sex slave and be raped to death by the age of 7, where is the fucking happy ending?

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that there will be a happy ending ONLY for me, what a selfish cunt, while my mother earth is dying, in fact I can see it, there is no place or space for a happy ending, MY fucking earth that I live on is being molested and raped by the people that gives power to the systems that are here, you and me. Take responsibility.

I forgive myself that haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see and realize the TRUE extend to what we are fucked and that there is NO happy ending in this story, it isn’t pre-programmed and I cannot rely on a pre-written script to just play on everyday as who I am as what I live and what I stand for as self-interest and the mind, I must stand up HERE not tomorrow, I must reach my fellow humans NOW not tomorrow, I must stand as the change HERE not tomorrow, I must stand as LONG as it takes till there is a fucking happy ending created and here, but the signs for that is so slim and non-visible – there is no hope at all, get real.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in an isolated fairy tale where I can blind myself to reality and live only for my happy ending, yet missing everything that is burning and suffering around me, as if my happy ending is the ending LOL, after every happy “ending” the story continues and the shit is still here and I must stand up and face it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to GIVE up for the sake of a happy ending just for me and to forget about all of me as earth/life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget about everything and to only focus on my fairy-tale happy ending. Till something happens to me, then I suddenly want to change shit.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize that IF I do not stand and give up my fairy-tale idea/dream pre-programmed shit then I cannot expect anyone else to do so, and thus I am accepting and allowing the end of Life as we know it with everyone else, for illusion happy endings.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Day 600 – I am Capable of anything, am I? Day 3 of 21

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http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... -am-i.html

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into my imagination of what I am capable of when and as I hear the words, or read the words – you are capable of anything, where I go into an alternate reality and totally disregard the reality that is here and who I am within and as this physical reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to believe that I am capable of anything to distract me from reality and what is here as who I am and the actual physical limitations, challenges that I deal with daily.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disbelieve that I am capable of anything.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to enjoy the disbelieve more than the belief, as the disbelief enforces my limitations, yet the belief takes me beyond my limitations and into imagination, and thus I see it isn’t a matter of believing but to live the words and to check it for myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be in a struggle between what my mind shows me I am capable of and what I am actually capable of within the physical reality, where what my mind is showing me looks so easy and real and accomplish able, yet when I move and direct the physical reality there are so much more that I haven’t considered or looked at.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be effected by the words – you are capable of anything – and to within this effect take myself to a positive polarity within me where I end up only hitting negatives in friction with this polarity and so give up on myself. Instead of being real with myself, seeing how can I in fact live the words – I am capable of anything, and to first and foremost realize that I am capable of anything and everything and this includes first developing, teaching and practicing and training and integrating what is necessary for me to be capable of anything and everything which includes anything and everything I must walk and face to stand as those living words.

Thus I see and realize that I missed the words completely in practicality, as I was hearing them within energy as imagination, and so when I look and see the word as living word, I can see that – I am capable of anything – implies everything that is required and inclusive of the process to be walked to actually live and stand as the words – I am capable of anything, and to not give up following an imagination as a vision of what the words imply and means as an end result, completely missing the journey that is inclusive of ANYTHING, and only through walking the journey to I become capable in fact.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Day 601 - My Eqafe Hangout Day 4 of 21

Post by Gian »

For tonight, I have an Eqafe Hangout that I participated in, I will post the link here.

the hangout - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BouvOLn ... ture=share

Please, take an Hour to watch somthign different than the usual series, or movie that the system provides, also take a look at the Interview we are talking about here in the hangout.

The Quantum time illusion - https://eqafe.com/p/reptilians-the-quan ... on-part-11

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that the MIND is MINE and that I can be a MINE that mines my own physical body as much as I want to, not realizing and seeing that what I accept and allow within me, I am also accepting and allowing within this world, and If I can not even stop myself then how can I expect myself to stop what is being done on a global scale and change this world to a place that is Best for all life, as heaven on earth, as my actual true desire that I have denied myself since I was a child, but suppressed it and gave into living as a Mind Zombie only consuming life.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

Idea versus Ideal Day 602 – Day 5 of 21

Post by Gian »

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... of-21.html

I have so many ideas during my everyday living – my ideas are always inspired for world change, how I as an individual can start something, make it big and make it happen. I write down many of my ideas and some I post on social networks, where they get some feedback. I appreciate any and all feedback.

Ideas come and go, this is what I have seen for myself, and sometimes I act on these ideas, to physically practically check it out. These Ideas I act on are usually small things that are possible right now, so it is easy and I have feedback quit quickly and can thus change my idea and test it out again.

One of the Key points I have realized within acting on small ideas is to take and idea and to mold and shape that idea into an Ideal, not an Idol, then we will have a problem.

I always align my ideas that are BIG to group activity and efforts, and always in alignment with the principles I live by to benefit and support and assist all those equally that I can currently reach and that stand equally as me. As I know it will only then spread out more and more.

The problem I face is a Fear, where I get an Idea that isn’t something that can be done right here and now, it is something that requires time and effort, to set the IDEAL of the idea already in the planning without having the opportunity first to just test it and then correct it. Because any BIG Idea that goes public effects that idea and how that idea is manifested, so a second chance is very hard after that, an unfortunate consequence of living in a system where there are winners and losers.

I have been in the process of bringing a BIG Idea to live, to manifest it, it is taking time, the planning, the research and all the practical points that is required to be in place before even exposing or revealing this idea to not have any assumptions already made, and that is of course part of and in alignment with my process and living and standing as a Destonian and the Desteni Principles and group. As the group always comes first.

So the point I am facing is the fear of the unknown of not having that space and time to take a BIG idea and first check it out, I must basically give it one shot and that will be it for this one particular idea, and even if the idea fails, it will not mean it was a bad one, it can simply mean that I have missed a few points, and thus the Ideal isn’t met.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear taking a BIG idea and to follow through with it into manifestation and that it might not work and where the reasons will be that of missing small points within the Ideal outflow I wanted and saw within the Idea.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to Fear making BIG mistakes and who I will be within that miss take, where I can already see myself getting back up and starting over, yet I fear having to go through the whole process again just because of missing a few points.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to rush into manifesting my big idea as soon as possible just to find out if it will work or not, and to within this miss the IDEAL and what I must practically consider within the Idea as to as much as possible ensure that the Ideal of the Idea is to manifest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to flood my passion and vision and Idea with too much unnecessary information within a fear as a paranoia of messing it up and to within this take the idea and making it into a typical sales pitch and missing the passion completely of where the Idea comes from as a self-directed and creative movement within me that isn’t of knowledge and information but a physical movement of living and manifesting.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear going BIG and Viral.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what will happen if my BIG idea actually manifest and how much of a difference it will be from what I saw within me and my mind versus reality as I had no time to first check and assess as what I do with small ideas on a daily living scale.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to distrust myself within listening to the mind as knowledge and information as comparison where I compare myself as less than those that has made big ideas come true and were able to be flexible and moveable to adjust and make it happen, and that I am not the same, yet I know within me as my expression that I am, I can I am capable, I must simply take the lead/jump after preparation and cross reference with others and to know that in breath I am okay, I am here, I am doing it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the voices in my head of what other people will say and think about my crazy ideas and that it will not be possible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to FEAR my response to others when and if they might have negative responses towards me and my crazy ideas and that I might just get more crazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect everyone to just go with it and make it happen and then it will work, yet seeing and realizing the mind as I am facing it now will be equal within everyone else and thus as I face my point I will be able to support and assist others to also see that what seems crazy and impossible and even radical is simply pre-programming holding us back from breaking through our fears. And as long as what we are doing is within self-honesty one and equal to our expression sanding within such a point will be natural and not a fighting and reactive process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to NOT believe in myself and my potential within me for creating change and effecting this world for a better world that is best for all life. And to within this hold back so much and so many times in fear, in self-judgement, in insecurities and so much mind shit that I have never even given myself a chance to stand up and show my head in the crowds for something different, something that will NOT immediately been smiled upon, yet if I stand as me as my expression in passion and obsolete principle of what’s best for all life, I will be guided one and equal and bear the fruits one and equal.

To end it off – I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this WAY bigger than what it is within my mind, as the mind tend to already place oneself in the Famous seat in the spotlight, which is a false idea and not and Ideal way to approach anything in expectations, Be here in breathe moving direct within physical reality and no illusions.
Gian
Posts: 1092
Joined: 14 Jun 2011, 22:18

War and Beheading - Day 603 Day 6 of 21

Post by Gian »

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.co.za ... of-21.html

I saw a documentary today called only the dead 2015, where it is about a journalist who was in Iraq and when America invaded Iraq and made/declared war and this journalist spend seven years documenting parts of what’s going on, on the ground, and from both sides.

During watching this Documentary there are almost all the time people dying, being shot, dead, and being beheaded. For a while I had to remind myself while watching that this is REAL deaths, these people actually died as I was watching it, it isn’t a movie. And then it hit me, a sickening feeling in my stomach and a realization of what war actually is. It isn’t pretty at all. In fact, there are no rules in war, it is a mission and at any means get the mission done, and then there is the mental state of the people actually participating, they lose it, they can even become mad and they do lose their humanity so to say where murder and killing becomes more later on, it becomes personal and so suicides take place and what soldiers from either side do to each other has later on no limits, such as torturing, abusing, raping and name it all.

The once scene in the documentary that really got me was that of a man who’s head was cut off, and I watched it happen, right after this man introduced himself and where is from, his name, his family and then BAM, as he is sitting there on the floor tied up, men grab him from behind and with a big knife starts to saw off his head and then after the head if sawed off they pick it up and showcase it to the camera.

It got me because I place myself in everyone’s shoes always that I am watching or seeing, I do not choose sides either. I take all in as me and check who I am within that and to breathe and stand one and equal, because it happened to another part of me, and another part of me did it, I am responsible for all of it, so I cannot separate myself and feel bad and guilty, I must stand up and see where I must change and to move as.

It is clear that this is unacceptable to even exist, War and the reasons for war must end, it must stop and we must stop within ourselves FIRST, if there is any kind of movement within us, as you and me where we see fighting, war as a solution, we are still the problem and cause as a vote for the existence that is here that isn’t best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to to see any form of violence as a solution to my problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sometimes wish for violence as a quick solution and not having to actually deal with the under current cause of the problems or even unwillingness to want to change the actual cause.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that as long as I am in good intentions within me seeking to use violence to solve a problem or problems that I am not good, and my intention is that of evil as against life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that violence must exist as a point of solving problems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have thoughts of being violent in moments of anger or where something or someone provoked something within me, and that I believe someone else can make me experience something within me, when it is literally impossible as it is within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see these thoughts feelings and emotions of wanting to harm or be violent as natural and a possible solution within me, where this violence of wanting to hurt someone is always a point of EGO and self-interest directly about me and now wanting to harm another for ME taking something personal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see and realize violence is when we are clouded by the lens of the mind that is out to violate the physical to mould and shape the physical through violating the physical as what is real to fit the minds perception of our own beliefs, ideas and opinions based on ego, to make what isn’t real a reality through breaking and forcing a certain outcome for self-interest.
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