Garbrielles' Journey to Life

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 13 Mar 2017, 06:02

Eqafe Hangout - Reptilians and Parallel Timelines - Day 545

Many thanks to my guest Tormod Giedrem

Interview discussed on Eqafe:

Tormod and I will be discussing this fascinating interview on parallel timelines from Anu through the portal at eqafe. We will share our perspectives about the information that came through, and how it is supporting us in our processes through the mind into self creation. This to stand as a steward of the earth and support the creation of a world that is best for all life.

Interview Synopsis: "How much do we really know about the history of our existence on this planet? As new archaeological evidence comes forward and contradicts the stories we have accepted thus far, how do we reconcile the difference between the history we were taught and the history that is now emerging? Have there been other civilizations and other earths parallel to ours that have bled through into our own? In this exclusive interview Anu sheds light on these questions and provides an entirely new perspective on time, history, and the untold story of heaven and earth."

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 15 Mar 2017, 05:17

More on Living the Word PEACE - Day 546

Living the word Peace, which I have defined as a reference to be peace - p = patiences, e= emerging, ace = grace. So here it’s peace = patiences emerging as grace. Patiences I have redefined to be paying attention to the essence of life that always exist here in equality and oneness, and grace i have redefined to be grateful pace, which is complimentary to both the words patiences and peace as this grateful pace as grace is a slow, awareness of self, where i become aware of my breath, my movements in my body, and the movements of my world and within this live in an appreciation of the intricacy and majestic nature that is life itself living. Here i have also found that patiences is key because to become aware of what is here and get a point of understanding others and self within it all it takes a patiences of self. I have been practicing this because there is a lot to learn in a way, a lot to practice, a lot to substantiate within self, though this all can be done with a grace and a peace. So this balance of these practices in living words has been a supportive platform to live in more self awareness and awareness of my enviroment becoming integrated in realizing everything that is here is self.

Here it has been fascinating because I am starting to open myself up more to my enviroment, what can i learn about myself and what can i create and live to support others equally as how i would want to be supported, where I am taking notice more of the small, the simple, yet complex and always learning and growing within it as my self. And these principles are also foundational for me in my living, I always have these principles of equality and oneness and what is best for all at the forefront of everything I do as a reminder and a stamp so to speak of how I will live, how I will create, and who I will be as i move myself in my reality. This as a reminder until I am naturally living it as myself, and over time as I practice, these principles and living start to imprint and I start to live it more and more naturally. Though, my mind as the separation that I have accepted and allowed of myself is always here in a sense where I am still walking my process of self honesty, self forgiveness, and self change. I am seeing that within myself that specific words are also supportive to stand through challenge times or overwhelming times where i want to give into emotions or an experience and live out my separation. So in living the word peace i have found in a way I have more and more started to live in this state within myself as I understand myself and more importantly as i correct myself in my living.

But the moments my mind does come in with thoughts where i could be energized by say anger energy and impatiences, living the words peace where it is a solution point of what I want to create for myself instead of the anger, I also am seeing as I transition to this state of being as peace as my solution, I am having to in this moment of the trigger and my decision to either live a word of support or go into the energy and potential for abuse, I have to stand within living words such as integrity, commitment, and honor of life, so these are like reminder words or words I focus on in that moment of decision where I am trigger, am I going to go into it or can i live these words I have put in place to remind me of who I am, where I stand within myself, and what I want to create for myself and this is what i live.

I have also redefined these specific words as well, integrity being my internal grit, where when I live this word I check my inner core and I pull all my muscles tight and I stand up within this core of myself, like a directive decision to stand up straighter inside myself, and I make the decision to let go of the thoughts, state within myself who I am as life, as honor, as integrity, as my commitment to what is best for all life, and I decide to live the word peace, which is where I become patient with myself and others in my world and release the energy hold with a breath. When i release, I see what can i do to support the others and myself to find solutions in this moment and there is solutions that’ll come up automatically as there is always solutions for problems/issues if you are looking for them or you in fact just create them in that moment with using common sense and practical problem solving skills we all have.

So living the word peace has been in a way a stand within myself that I am directing myself to live and move as me as I face challenging moments in my life where i have that decision to decide who I am. I find speaking within myself that I do not accept and allow this thought to direct me, I live integrity here and I live peace, and this will create the movement of being at peace and moving in integrity because I have indeed lived with integrity walking what is best for all rather then giving into my mind and creating abuse in moments and the gift with living in such a way is a state of living in peace cause I created it for myself in real time.

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 01 Apr 2017, 06:33

Eqafe Hangout: The Consequences of Deceiving Self Honesty - Day 547

Many thanks to Gian Robberts for sharing his perspectives and

Interview discussed on Eqafe: ... ife-review

Gian and I will be discussing this fascinating interview on a being walking his realizations in his life review through portal at eqafe on what he faced when he found himself deceiving his own self honesty within his life in relation to having a child. We will share our perspectives about the information that came through, and how it is supporting us in our processes through the mind into self creation. This to stand as a steward of the earth and support the creation of a world that is best for all life.

Interview Synopsis:
"How can a few words spoken in one moment change the course of an entire life?

Why is self-honesty absolutely critical when making long term life choices?

Why can the price be quite high when we make choices that are not in fact self-honest?

A being shares how, in one moment their entire life changed, and how they had to re-assess who they were and how their life will unfold."

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 01 Apr 2017, 06:34

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 1 - Day 548

Here i am looking at a dimension of vulnerability that I have noticed and has more and more been opening up for me, and this dimension is the absolute sorrow of being a human being in this world. I am noticing throughout my living day to day through different movies, shows, people i meet, people walking around, and most especially myself because i am with myself all the time, there is this sorrow within me and i can see this sorrow in the depths of myself and also in people walking around and it’s like a horror in a way. We have become so lost in our everyday lives because of the state and condition we have participated in and created in this world. This sorrow within me that i have sensed and noticed within all humans, is deep, it feels like its coming from the depths of our souls so to speak, where i just want to scream, shoot, and stop everything that is going on around me and within me to just have it all stop. Though it never does, this world continues, the abuse continues, this sorrow within me continues, and it just continues on. There is also deep regret as well and i have found this leads also to extreme amounts of rage and destruction due to the fact that it feels like there is nothing we can do about this energy, about our living experience, and about this world of horror that we are seeing play out everywhere. Some may deny this, some may brush it off, some may call me a downer or negative, but every single human being knows exactly what i speak of. It is unnamed, it is gripping, and it is fierce this force that i speak of.

What i have realized is that one of the core reasons and originating points of this rage, sorrow, and destruction we have exhibited in our living world is based on the response and experiences of our childhood. Where we are born into this world and as a child that is vulnerable, innocent, and helpless in many ways, we in a way ‘hope’ that we will be treated with care, real naturing care and understanding by the adults of this world. We though receive waves of powerful energies that make our bodies churn and twist and restrict in the most horrific and uncomfortable ways imaginable, some of us are physically abused, some of us are mentally abuse, some of us are sexually abused, and some are all of the abuses in this world. We have all been abused since childhood and then we grow up and do exactly as the adults in this world we learned from, become destructive, abusive, and horrific in our behavior toward each other. You may not do this directly, though if someone is abused it is equal and one to you as the abused and the abuser, we are both as we are accepting and allowing it to exist in our world, we are this world.

We as adults have become so accustomed to the abuse of children, not even realizing as adults that it is abuse because we as adults have become so brainwashed and programmed to believe that abuse, reactions, and destruction is a natural pattern of life in this world, we forget about the innocence we once were as babies, as children, and so we put it out of our minds, become distracted with survival, and so we repeat the same mistakes and abuses we hope would just stop as children. We as adults become numb, hard, and ruthless in the face of a ruthless and heartless world. And this we see everywhere, the absolute horror and disregard for life as the innocence even unto the most vulnerable among us in all species and forms. We are a race that has programmed ourselves through forgetfulness to abuse, ignore, distract, and destroy ourselves as our world and we pretend that we don’t know any better. We pretend that we are good, we pretend that we are righteous, and we pretend that we are not responsible. Though this is real life, this is our reality, this is actually happening to all on deep levels as we are all interconnected and equal in this reality. Nothing of mind illusion is real, no one is better then another, that simply does not exist….you hurt another being it hurts just the same as if you did it to yourself.

This i found is within myself what has caused such rage, such sorrow, such anger, and it is from the depths of myself, the abdication I have accepted and allowed myself to exist as and to allow such a world to exist as, abuse and destruction. The torment and destructive nature that we have gotten to within our world and the amount of abuse we see accumulating, this is a point of madness we are experiencing within ourselves because we all realize and understand that it could be completely different, something of a place like heaven on earth. And even to those words, we scoff and say ‘no, that is impossible’. Though we miss the obvious most often because we are not living the obvious, but the complicated as the multi-dimensional reality of illusion we have created as our mind consciousness system. As we see even in the word impossible, what does it read? I am possible. We are possible.

So words i have found have been a key saving grace for humanity as we have indeed forgotten ourselves, who we are, where we came from, and what we have within us as our own directive principle - a life force that connects all and is equal within all. Thankfully to those who came before and are here still, walking what is best for all life, walking the principles of who we are as oneness and equality, standing in full responsibility of self to stand as the solution and create it, I honor life, I honor those who walk with and as life, and so this honor is mine within who i am as my words, how i live within and without, and what i am sharing is that there is a way to forgive self, correct self, and so correct this world. We are much more then the beliefs that we/i have created for ourselves, there is great potential, though each one has to find, develop and live this within self. And this is where desteni has come in, not only shaping and shifting my life for ever, but many others who are equally as committed, dedicated, and steadfast in changing self to stand in full responsibility, correct that which is not best, and forgive self for the mistakes and blame perpetuated. This desteni of the universe as the process of birthing self as life is here for all and all are welcome. It’s a journey of self purification and in a way self discovery and life is here to support, though self must always walk through the door. We are the solution and i am in deed possible, so investigate, understand, realize self responsibility to the whole, and thus see that the physical is the solution, we are here on the earth as the physical, thus we are the solution - each and everyone.

Thanks for reading, part two to continue my understandings and realizations as I walk my journey to life.

This supported me today in understanding who we are as life and the power we do have in self responsibility through self change:

"Totality - Tow-tally-ty - tallying up and towing the load, the practical process of taking responsibility for ALL of /as self, where self through writing and self forgiveness walk through one's entire mind consciousness system and this physical existence in detail - walking self-introspection within, finding (tallying) all the parts of self of self-separation as consciousness/mind, transforming self's relationship with self to an agreement with all in equality and oneness, and within doing this 'towing the load' as walking one's physical-consequence as the physical-world creation that self created as consciousness/mind and within facing consequence: simultaneously develop/find/implement solutions to the future of self of all, to not again recreate the same process of humpty-dumpty's great fall, having to pick up your own pieces and put yourself back together again which is quite a lengthy process, but to be able to eternally stand firmly rooted/grounded into/as this existence that FALL will never again exist in this existence, as we STAND eternally." - Bernard Poolman

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 11 Apr 2017, 06:24

The Sorrow of the Human Being: Who is I - Part 2 - Day 549

Within this point of looking at the current state of the human being, I will bring this point back to myself, back to the personal, back to who I am as the state of myself as a human being, and through this share my self and my experiences and realizations of how I have understood and so came to be who I am here today.

For many years, most of my life, I have been in a way feeling as if i am a shell of a person, the experience of myself internally was sort of like a self contained prison in a way, and this prison was constantly moving and changing, though always existing in the same way, like patterns that would repeat. I would get some pleasure once and a while, but this pleasure was distorted and confusing as I learned that pleasuring myself and pleasure in general was not the norm, and there was certain types of pleasures that were bad and not to be openly discussed and enjoyed, such as the pleasure of exploring my physical body or enjoying a piece of cake, it was always filled with a threat of some sort of harm being done on to me either with a stigma attached to self or a consequence that was unpleasant and looked down upon by others.

So I never actually truly enjoyed myself as pleasure, but was in sort of like a fog and constant fear of having these memories I had in my mind of the worst case scenarios keep popping up, haunting me in a way while investigating and exploring this part of myself as i was growing up. This also then formed into the imaginations and fantasies of creating pleasure in my mind, what i could do or where i could go and how i could live all in the confines of my own mind, but again this was never actually materialized thus it was a constant loop system with no tangible value created in the physical, that when i did get a chance to experience something pleasurable in reality it becomes an extreme, something i desired, something i craved, and then an addiction would be formed. An addiction is another prison as a point of self propulsion to something that i wasn't in control of because i didn't know why i was creating it and thus it became very difficult to stop it, seemingly impossible actually.

And here is where the consequences of such interaction with myself, my enviroment, and my internal world as my mind became prison like, this was due to the emotional experiences that i let infiltrate my being and take me on a ride that all who can relate, would really like to get off of. Yet, we can not, it’s a ride that continues, and continues, and continues, and every where we go and every one we meet are all on this same ride though we do not have any clue how to get off because we have no clue what we are in fact doing and we do not have the full capacity to know as it was designed to be this way. We are caged to our own internal selves, some cope well with this in society as society has been designed in such a way to cater to the enslavement of the beings that accept and allow it.

This we have all done and all participated in over eons of time, though on this planet it has become physical, we are here within a prison in our own selves, our own making, and we can even see the physical manifestations we have created to show to ourselves who we are as actual physical prisons we send ourselves to. And I can attest to this as i have lived it as i am sure we all can relate to this, and this anguish is energy in motion, it’s this ride, it’s the ups and downs, the explosions and the regrets, the fear and the remorse, the beliefs and the bullied, and so much more, we are seeking the good, the positive and avoiding, resisting, and running away from the negative. I am running away from myself, this inner turmoil, this cage, this prison, and within this running I am running straight towards it. What a vicious game you may say? It depends what your starting point is and always realize there is solutions, we are always capable of living and creating solutions that is a fact, though by the will of self it will be done.

What i haven’t understood for most of my life and the principles that govern life, and this life I speak of is the eternal life that has always existed, the life that resides within all, the life that is our physical world and the breath of life of each one. What i haven't understood was who i am, i never actually looked at this question, and within that i never believed that i could do anything to change my life. Though what i did know and could understand within me was there was a fire, be it small, yet it was here and it was burning in side of me. It was like an inner calling of my insides, something deep inside me, and this is the quest i have been seeking solutions for and so i started asking questions - the QUEST to Solutions. And this is when i found my saving grace, I found myself, and my self's ability to stand up within myself and change for the better. This has changed everything for me and everything about me, I am humbled by the understanding and also passionate about the change that is taking place internally and thus externally in my world because as within self so without. This is a principle of life.

As is said in the above eqafe interview quotation, ‘equality and oneness and what is best for all can become the saving grace of humanity’, so the solution is here, life is here, and self is here, the human being though has a process to walk to align back to life as we have de-manned ourselves through abdication of ourselves as a responsible being to ourselves and so to all life. We must face our consequences, each and every one yet all equally and build again, stand before all life in humbleness and humility, and walk again in a structure and flow that never again allows what has been lived and existed in this earth as the horror and abuse. It is the time to stand for life within self and so within all that we are honorable and we honor ourselves and so prove this within our lives, our living, and in our world. The time is here and living solutions is at our fingertips, we just have to take action and this we is me.

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 27 May 2017, 19:30

Eqafe Hangout: Dealing with Difficult People - Day 550

Many thanks to Michelle for particpating and sharing her perspectives!

Find this interview here:
Dealing with Difficult People - Eqafe Recording

Interview Synopsis:

"What does it tell you about yourself when there is someone in your life who you experience as being very difficult to be around?

How can you support yourself and the other person to step out of the destructive relationship dynamics?

Why is walking away from this person not the solution?"

Here my guest and I will be giving perspective on our realizations and experiences within listening to the above interview and how it relates to our lives. Also, what we are doing to support ourselves to change this experience to be something of support for not only ourselves but all life in our environments.

These hangouts are in support of creating a better world for all through education and self responsibility to become stewards of the earth and take care of each other in the best way of our abilities.

Thanks for watching!

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 27 May 2017, 19:32

Lenient - Redefining to Live - Day 551


Current Allocation:

I see i am lenient with my mind and thus my self based on indulgences i have allowed and become addicted to for a very long time. I find it difficult to stand within these patterns and thus i tend to accept and allow the word lenient to supersede that which would be best for me based on the level of addiction I have participated in over time, though i find that with commitment and patience this point can be walked to a satisfactory point. What i have realized is that with the deep addiction patterns, i have laced it with fear. So I have a fear that i will not be able to get out of the pattern cause i am too far gone or the mind energy is too much, and so this will inevitably get me and i will fall. This is where i find i have become lenient or accept and allow leniency, when i have fallen and slowly getting back up. As i am getting up, i will indulge in the addiction. So leniency has been a crux in a way, which I allow as indulgence of the mind and I do not stop, I allow myself to stay in the feeling of energy, get drunk in it in a way as i wallow in the giving up point until i stand again. It’s self manipulation and overall unacceptable as it’s not necessary to indulge in such a way, and the living of this word is done to not face myself and thus allow self indulgence, self interest, and giving into my mind addictions. I am not in judgment of myself, though i see this is a flag point because it’s consequential in a way of me taking longer then necessary to move through points that inevitably have to be walked to become more effective and trustworthy within myself, which is my commitment to me as life.

Dictionary Definition:


1. agreeably tolerant; permissive; indulgent:

He tended to be lenient toward the children. More lenient laws encouraged greater freedom of expression.

2. Archaic. softening, soothing, or alleviative.


lenient (adj.) Look up lenient at

1650s, "relaxing, soothing" (a sense now archaic), from Middle French lenient, from Latin lenientem (nominative leniens), present participle of lenire "to soften, alleviate, allay; calm, soothe, pacify," from lenis "mild, gentle, calm," which probably is from PIE root *le- (2) "to let go, slacken" (source also of Lithuanian lenas "quiet, tranquil, tame, slow," Old Church Slavonic lena "lazy," Latin lassus "faint, weary," Old English læt "sluggish, slow," lætan "to leave behind").

The usual modern sense of "mild, merciful" (of persons or actions) is first recorded 1787. In earlier use was lenitive, attested from early 15c. of medicines, 1610s of persons. Related: Leniently.

Lenient Word Play:

Lean i shunt, I lend a bend, learn i can’t, learn i ain’t, lean i went,

Negative Polarity:

I see this word as a point of self diminishment and lack of will, i in a way fear I will exist in this state for too long, yet i will indulge it once and a while which makes me anxious over time cause i know i am not doing my best.

Postitive Polarity:

I see this word as a way of relaxing, getting support from another, when i good effort is put in - getting a hand from another and allowing them to support for a moment, so giving myself a moment to rest and kick back to relax and have a breather for self when I see if have given a best amount of effort in a agreeable timeframe.

Creative Writing:

Lenient is a place where you have to be self directed within, for a moment, to support with becoming balanced in one’s living if you put too much effort in and need to have a moment of relaxation, to create an equilibrium back to self stability. I have found mostly that it is allowed to be used as a crux to not become discipline in a moment and where I keep allowing a lean on my mind programming to bend around the self honesty of doing what has to be done in the physical and supporting myself to stand straight as self’s will and support and direct in a grounded matter.

Self Forgiveness:
I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lenient within myself to not have to face myself within the mirror of who i am existing as in my living world and so face self here, but allow a point of giving myself a lean to bend around that which has to be faced as i avoid the actual stand necessary to see who i am fully and walk the path of discipline to change what it is i am not willing as of yet to fully face head on and change.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become lenient in my own mind where i seek out the self satisfaction of mind addiction such as self abuse and thus allowing abuse with others via quantum movements of emotion through my presence or out right displaying anger or dislike within my words or behavior.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become to lenient within myself where i have allowed my mind to go unchecked because i am hiding and avoiding from myself the actual process of change necessary to walk which is a more direct and breath by breath process which i have judged as difficult.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to find walking this process to life and being here as breath to difficult to face and change and thus here accept and allow the word lenient to step in where i give up on myself allowing and accepting the thoughts that it’s too difficult and i can’t get it done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to participate and live into the belief that this process to life is too hard and i can’t do it through accepting and allowing the experience of giving up in these moments of energy veils that come over me of a heaviness and a depression, where i believe that it’s too much and it won’t be done.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not in these moments question who i am and how i am accepting and allowing myself to be as depressed and in a state of giving up through allowing thoughts that it’s too hard and i can’t do it, and thus accept and allow the outflow of giving in to the experience of giving myself tolerance to indulge more into the addiction and the self interest when i see, realize, and understand that it’s time to stop and change.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use this experience of leniency in a way as self manipulation where i use it as a guise as to why i don’t have to stand in that moment, but can give up and give in to my addictions which is giving into the energy temptation and experience that i have become addicted to of living out the experience of the sensations of giving in and indulging to self interest.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not stand and walk breath and physical living in the simplicity of what is here as life living in the obvious and common sense equations that will support myself and others in the best way possible regardless what it takes as effort and movement, i walk cause it’s best not based on a feeling or experience.

I commit myself to when i see i am going into the experience of being lenient with myself, flag it and identify what pattern or addiction i am not facing and moving into a solution with.

I commit myself to walk a process within a day to identify this pattern and then start the process of solution point by point as this comes through.

I commit myself to support myself in the process by living the words discipline, care, life, steadfast, physical effort to do what has to be done to move through the addiction and create a new way of living that is self directed.

Lenient - Redefined:

Lenient is when i allow for a moment rest/support to rebalance myself into my physical living process and in the next moments move back into a stable walk. I also use this word as a flag to render the fact that i am indulging in this rest i give to myself to rebalance and thus manipulating myself to not have to stand and walk the walk that is necessary for correction in self creation. This to use as a support to realize that i am not standing in my best potential and change is required using the living words above and expand as i go.

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 27 May 2017, 19:35

Kind - Redefining the word to Live - Day 552


Allocation point:

I desire to be a kind person, someone who is supportive for others and gives a solid effort to make others feel secure and it being a genuine interaction. So there is a desire to be kind but in myself i don’t feel kind, i feel off, bad, not good enough, like i am a fraud and i feel like i can never be kind, good, and best.

Dictionary Definition:


a group of people or things having similar characteristics.

"all kinds of music"

synonyms: sort, type, variety, style, form, class, category, genre; More

character; nature.

"the trials were different in kind from any that preceded them"

synonyms: character, nature, essence, quality, disposition, makeup; More

each of the elements (bread and wine) of the Eucharist.

"communion in both kinds”


adjective: kind; comparative adjective: kinder; superlative adjective: kindest

having or showing a friendly, generous, and considerate nature.

"she was a good, kind woman"

synonyms: kindly, good-natured, kindhearted, warmhearted, caring, affectionate, loving, warm; More

antonyms: inconsiderate, mean


kind (adj.) Look up kind at

"friendly, deliberately doing good to others," Middle English kinde, from Old English (ge)cynde "natural, native, innate," originally "with the feeling of relatives for each other," from Proto-Germanic *kundi- "natural, native," from *kunjam "family" (see kin), with collective or generalizing prefix *ga- and abstract suffix *-iz. The word rarely appeared in Old English without the prefix, but Old English also had it as a word-forming element -cund "born of, of a particular nature" (see kind (n.)). Sense development probably is from "with natural feelings," to "well-disposed" (c. 1300), "benign, compassionate, loving, full of tenderness" (c. 1300).

kind (n.) Look up kind at

"class, sort, variety," from Old English gecynd "kind, nature, race," related to cynn "family" (see kin), from Proto-Germanic *kundjaz "family, race," from PIE root *gene- "give birth, beget," with derivatives referring to procreation and familial and tribal groups.

Word Play:

know thy (i) mind, kin find, know the line, know i’m fine

Negative placement:

I see that i desire this thus believe that i am not this, and thus there is a slight belief that i can not be this as i believe that i am inherently not kind but evil

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe myself to be evil and not good and thus when i want to live the word kind it’s false as i am not this inherently.

i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe that i am inherently not a good person or an evil person and thus believe that i can not be then kind when i see, realize, and understand it’s not about what i think of myself, but who and how i in fact live in the moment here in what i can create as myself instead of moving into a form of self hatred and self sabotage.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage my efforts within my living, believing myself to be not good enough or evil and so within the mistakes i have made in my life, hold that against myself forever more so i never actually truly forgive myself, but hold onto the energy that i am not good enough.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe the thoughts that i am bad and evil, when in reality, i am ok and decent as i do move myself in the physical to correct myself and learn from myself and so in the moment i do my best to learn and grow which is being kind to myself and others as i become better.

Positive Placement:

The positive of this word is where i am kind and make others feel good, and within that gain compliments from them and thus use this as a way to boost myself and my ego of experiencing myself as more then, superior, and thus become enlightened in a way feeling lighter then i did a moment before as i have been lifted by the comment and thus associate kind with getting something positive out of it like a comment or a nice gesture back.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to be kind to others based on a desire to get something in return as i have become addicted to the positive feelings of comfort and belonging and supported and within this create a experience of myself as being included and through that fuel that polarity of being excluded and thus a loser and when i am included feel good, popular and secure.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to desire to be seen by others as included, popular and thus do acts of kindness to get this stand within my peer group or those i am with to be able to stand on good terms with them and thus have more of an ability to be secure and safe in my enviroment because i have deemed the world is unsafe and will fuck me up if i don’t have security.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into fearing the world and the instability in the world as i have accepted and allowed myself to fear it within myself, and so ignore it, judge it as bad, and suppress it and use positivity as good feelings to distract myself from what is actually real within me as the hell that i have been living within but ignoring as well as the hell that is in this world that i have been living within but ignoring with positive things such as family, compliments, and ego as group popularity.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go a step further within this design of fear and protection where i have deemed others who are not in this group as popular or cool based on specific looks and behaviors as bad, not good people, ignorant, and losers when in reality i am fearing to be placed in that group and thus fear the abuse i have received equally so as i am doing to those that are not in the popular/cool group and thus perpetuate the separation of myself within myself through fearing being there and thus running away from it and separating myself from others by labeling them and comparing myself to them, and using experiences such as a feeling of being cool and popular through using kindness as a way to get in and so i can be secure and safe from these judgments and abuses that i have done onto others and so equally done onto myself and thus fear and separate myself from so it doesn't happen to me and i can ignore it as if it doesn't exist, this only fucking myself and all life as it's not real and consequential very much so.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the word kind as a way to keep my limitations in place as fear of people and fear of abuse, and so please people with kindness so i am secure with them and leave behind all those who don’t fit in this cool group or are kind and allow abuse and harm to be done onto them because i myself accept and allow it within my world and myself as i fear it and thus create it and keep it in place by doing nothing to stop it, understand it, and thus find solutions for it.

I commit myself to use the word kind as a way to check in with myself and see who i am within my mind, am i accepting and allowing separation as this fear of judgment and abuse or am i facing myself, my fears, understanding them beyond the energy, and finding solutions that are best for all.

i commit myself to release this fear through living the word here, understanding as i get to the root of what is here as the issue/problem within self and so within others and walk solutions that will be best for all.

i commit myself to live the word inclusion where i stand to include all as self as i walk here seeing all as life and within that the potential of the best that can be lived as i practice living this inclusion equally with myself.

I commit myself to live the word physical as i see all as substance, life, and stand within myself as this realizing i am walking a process of correction and realignment within myself as my mind from separation into the physical equal and one and this is a process, yet what remains is life here and is equal and one within all as self.

I commit myself to live my words within and without until i am here and it is done.

Re-definition of the word Kind:

Kind - i have redefined as a know thy (i) self as the mind - where i within myself understand who i am within the actions i walk as a being in this world, and through that understanding, alignment to what is best through self forgiveness, and living my correction through living words that are supportive of what is best, that process being walked will create a being that is kind as i know myself, my mind, and thus am able to support others in this process of understanding, correction, and alignment back to life through living words, which is what real kindness is, bringing life back to life as and through self’s living example in what is best for all.

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 27 May 2017, 19:35

What’s Best for all or Self Interest as Destruction? An Example - Day 553

Here i am seeing a pattern I have walked with people in my life that has been consequential where for myself, I have become less adapt at moving in my environment. I am seeing this restriction in lets say the flow of who I am is based on not wanting to compromise or more cooperate with what is here, the physical reality. The principles are clear in what makes for a harmonious reality, which is live in what is best for all, considered all things and keep what is good, stand in the shoes of another as the other is equal to self, and do onto another as how you would want to be treated, though I have to live these principles to in fact stand as them.

For myself not compromising or not cooperating with reality where i do not live these principles above, I am essentially defying reality, not moving in a way that is supportive of this physical reality and so everything in it, which doesn’t make sense as a part of life to live in such a way. Now if I pull this out to lets say a global context, where I walk a self interested path of not cooperating and so not standing within the principles I shared above of what is best for all, I could be responsible for the harm of many. For example, say my job was to add filters to all the water pipes in the world, that will filter out the deadly bacteria that resides in this water, once it goes through these filters, the water is pure and all who drink are well. I have to change these filters three times a year to keep everyone in the world getting access to clean water.

Now this is a lot of responsibility, and this work is routine and boring to me, I am having these emotions come up, I want to quit, I am so bored, though I know if I miss a filter change, I am going to cause many to die due to the bacteria leaking in to the pure water. What do I do?

Here what would the common sense dictate, I have redefined the word common sense to mean sense to be the physical thus all here as life and common to be what is best for all, so here common sense is what is best for all in this physical reality for all here, which is everybody and everything. And obviously what is best in this hypothetical scenario I shared above is keeping everyone healthy and harm free as this is what I would want for myself, fulfilling the principles of life as doing what’s best for all. Life being the physical as the physical is what is real, real is the reality we live in in each moment, what is actually happening direct, real time, here, in the physical of ourselves and all around. So it’s simplistic in a way to understand all of this, though to live it is a different story. Understand that each one is walking this process of realizing that our actions in reality have an effect on not only ourselves, but in fact on everyone we touch and beyond as those whom you touch go and touch others and so forth and so on.

So for me to go into self interest and not stand in the shoes of another and do what is best for all, it’s like I am poisoning and killing myself as I infect my environment equally so with this self interest of self desires coming before the common good of all. We believe when we move in our environment, we do not have an effect on it, though observe children, they are copies of our every move and who do children grow up to be, the adults of this world, the world has never changed, why is this so, because we have never changed how we have been living in a real, substantial way, where ALL LIFE is considered absolutely through living self responsibility for the whole. We are living from a reality that is not real, which is from thinking and our minds, emotional states and reactions of self interest. We are in a day and age, where this is changing, we are now being asked and in essence made to decide here by life as we ask ourselves, who are we as we see the death of billions every year because of not having access to basic human rights such as clean water. So unfortunately the hypothetical I used is a reality for billions, where their end is forced as they don’t have the physical means to do anything about it, mainly access to money in this world.

So it’s an understanding that when I do not want to compromise or cooperate with the physical reality I live in and support what is best for all, I will create equal to this and the reality you live in will start to show this to self. Life is aware and everything existent within it is equal and one, so we humans are not alone, we are part of this world not the dominator of it, it’s time to consider what we are creating and decide who self is within this and live. This is each one’s walk and path, who you are will determine your future, so make it count. This is the path I am walking and I stand for life and nothing less then what is best, we walk physical reality in what is here, so we can create a world that is best for all for real, with real solutions, through self responsible actions in directing the outcome to be what is best for all. It is time, no more waiting. So let’s walk together, create together with the principles of life and so let’s create life and honor who we are as beings.

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Re: Garbrielles' Journey to Life

Postby Garbrielle » 01 Jun 2017, 05:54

Living the Word Freedom - Redefined - Day 555


Current Allocation:

Freedom is something i desire but believe it’s out of reach for my life in this world. There is a yearning for freedom, like i know it’s there, it’s somewhere, it’s possible, yet it does not seem as if it ever will be reached without great effort and inner and outer change. Freedom also is represented in my mind through flags and fireworks and parades, where it’s symbolized based on holiday parties and festivities ingrained over my life time in my country that my family and friends very much participated in and some in the patriotism of it. I myself felt uncomfortable with the country’s freedom as i know that to get this so called freedom, war was involved thus to me showing that this is not real freedom, and that we will always be enslaved to this mindset that there is some enemy out there and we need to dominate or win to become free. Yet this same dominance and winning status is always under threat and always able to be destroyed through conflict, abuse, and thus suffering. Suffering and freedom to me were counter-intuitive thus counter-productive and essentially made no sense, so my relationship with the word freedom is as if it is a catch phrase, not real, and that those who follow this are insane or just brainwashed and not able to see clearly what makes sense and what doesn’t. I am also seeing anger within me towards the holiday of supposed freedom we celebrate and those who don’t question, yet, i see that this is my own reaction within me of a desire to want to be free for real right now. Though i see it is not yet possible and so i go and blame everyone else when i see, realize, and understand I was equally within that group to such a possessed degree due to culture and it’ll take a process of understanding, support, self forgiveness, and self correction to change the way the world as self lives freedom within and without.

Dictionary Definition:




1) the power or right to act, speak, or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

"we do have some freedom of choice"

2) absence of subjection to foreign domination or despotic government.

"he was a champion of Irish freedom"

synonyms: independence, self-government, self-determination, self-rule, home rule,

3) sovereignty, nonalignment, autonomy; democracy

"revolution was the only path to freedom”

4) the state of not being imprisoned or enslaved.


freedom (n.) Look up freedom at

Old English freodom "power of self-determination, state of free will; emancipation from slavery, deliverance;" see free (adj.) + -dom. Meaning "exemption from arbitrary or despotic control, civil liberty" is from late 14c. Meaning "possession of particular privileges" is from 1570s. Similar formation in Old Frisian fridom, Dutch vrijdom, Middle Low German vridom. Freedom-rider recorded 1961 in reference to civil rights activists in U.S. trying to integrate bus lines.

It has been said by some physicians, that life is a forced state. The same may be said of freedom. It requires efforts, it presupposes mental and moral qualities of a high order to be generally diffused in the society where it exists. [John C. Calhoun, speech, U.S. House of Representatives, Jan. 31, 1816]

Freedom fighter attested by 1903 (originally with reference to Cuba). Freedom-loving (adj.) is from 1841.

Word Play:

Free-dumb, free-doom, free-dome, free = fear removed

Negative Placement:

Here i see that within myself there is a long path to become free and also a free world where life is able to co-exist and sustain itself as each one individual sustains themselves. So there is a fear here, fear of not having it, and thus more and more being removed from creating it as fear is not free, but the restriction of freedom. So bringing through a degree of stress, anxiety, and claustrophobia within the thought of if ever real freedom will be lived and what comes up within me is this world system, the enslavement of man over everything and everyone into destruction.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to go into a fear that freedom is inaccessible within myself and this world as i go into the idea that freedom is impossible to reach.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to look for freedom out in the world system, outside of myself, where i need to attain or reach something to become or get freedom.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to believe freedom is impossible to live within and as my self and so this world.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to separate myself from the living word of freedom within myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to project freedom onto the way our system is set up at the moment and believe that it’s never going to be doable with all the abuse as enslavement that is existing here.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to blame the world system and the people in the world system as the fault to why freedom is not able to be lived instead of bringing the point back to myself and seeing where in fact i am enslaving and limiting myself within my own self imposed ideas, beliefs, and judgments.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to judge and create ideas and beliefs about the way in which this world and within myself need to live instead of moving within the freedom of my own expression and through this working with what is here as it is here within the creative mobility that exist within any given moment as i create myself.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to place freedom as an idea within my mind rather then a living word to be physically lived and created and so in this idea move into disempowerment within myself because it seems unattainable.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize, and understand that the function of myself and this world in this moment is not how it will always be and thus potential for growth and change is always here.

I commit myself to release the ideas, beliefs, and judgments of my expression in a moment and allow the expression of what is here as myself become free from limitations and expand within and through who i am as i create myself with what is here.

I commit myself to go into releasing the separation between who i am as the living word freedom moving into a flow of myself in any given moment taking responsibility for who i am and expanding through the support of this word as i move out of the dome of my limitations and exist here free as my fear is removed and i breath and live with and as reality.

Postitive Placement:

On the positive feeling side, I am seeing the word free is very light and electric feeling, like the potential for the best of life is possible within this world and it makes me feel airy and nice inside. There is an inkling of possibility, oh yes like a hope, and here i can see the complacency that settles into my mind and thus my physical where there is no real action of changing self and becoming self responsible through words and living. Thus the idea is nice to think about and ponder in my imagination of how great it’ll be or could be, yet all the while not actually really creating freedom within myself by living as it and so freedom does not yet actually exist cause it stops at the thinking stage because the energy fades and then I get hit with reality and it’s too much work/effort.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to move into a point of self desire as a dream state of what freedom would look like or feel like as i go imagining in my mind what this will look like or feel like, never actually making significant change to who i am in the physical as my words and living.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to exist within a hope of freedom coming one day if this and this and this works out and if i do this and this and this thing in the future soon to come, yet within my actual physical movement there is no significant change as i am spending my time dreaming about freedom and what i could and will be doing instead of actually living it.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to become complacent within myself with the imaginations of life in a free world and how awesome that would be tailoring it up with different technology and how humans will co-exist with animals and within this waste time and resources on mind generation and not self creation.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to give my power away to my addictions as positive energy such as lust for a place of peace and freedom, or excitement in the thought of what a world would look and feel like, or the happiness feeling when i see in my mind’s eye all the animals and humans getting along, and within that be fulfilled as the energy releases and i stop actually moving in the physical and changing myself because i have accepted and allowed myself to get off on energy addiction in these imagination feelings that get created thus disempowering me to move myself and limiting my potential to live and become substantial and so do nothing of real value which supports all life.

I commit myself to move into the living words ‘i matter’ as i ground myself into the physical letting go of the imagination thoughts and create myself as matter within how i live in every moment to create real value as i move myself in the physical in what will be best for all life.

I commit myself to live words such as self creation and consistency as i move from my mind illusions into my physical living and letting go of the complacent addiction to go into hope and desire thus not actual do anything to change what is here within and without.

I commit myself to life the word freedom as i release myself from the addictive thought patterns of positive feelings and move into the solidity of my physical living, expanding myself through my limited beliefs and ideas and imaginations and creating myself in a real substantial way that will eventually create all life to be free to express here as the will themselves as all align as i live for myself in what is best for all life.

Re-Defining the Word Freedom:

The direct definition I see for the word freedom is to become free from the dome that is my mind as the limitations within fear i have accepted and allowed to hold me back from living as my creative expression in every moment. Freedom is the removal of fear as i will myself to be free beyond my limitations that is currently existing as my mind consciousness system programs and constructs holding me back from being me and who i am in any given moment as a self created being in what’s best. Freedom is what is beyond the limitations of self imposed mind systems and self live free from fear here.

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