Investigating My Apparent “NEED” to Sleep-In. – An Artists Journey To Life: Day 155
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I commit myself to re-assess my current accepted and allowed concept/definition of time and to Align this with Equality and Oneness and what is best for all instead of how it is now where it is Aligned in such a way where I am still using time to hide within, like for instance in sleeping in “because its to early”, where it becomes an excuse to hide from facing myself here in Full Self Awareness where I must Act and Direct me in my Waking Life, and so thus in assisting and supporting myself within re-aligning my definition of sleep and time to equality and oneness and what is best for all, assist and support myself to become more self directive in my life where I am assisting and supporting myself to Stand Here in Full Self Awareness in every moment and Facing Myself and Directing Me in a way that is best for all.
When and as I see myself going into my automatic pre-programmed reaction in relation to it being around 6am where I, when I wake up and look at my clock and see a time that is around 6am, I get tense/go into fear of this and instead of facing myself within this point of getting out of bed, I just go back to sleep as a way to just make the experience of me go away, when and as I see myself reacting to the time in this way, I stop myself from going into my immediate pre-programmed definition of 6am or anything close to this, as being “Too Early” particularly I stop my accepted and allowed Automated Fear Reaction that comes up and completely possess me in that moment where I want no part of this time at all and just close my eyes and go back to sleep if I am not required to get up for work, And so I Stop this Automated behaviour and I Breath. I realize that what I am doing is simply responding in an automated way to this particular point of getting up at 6am due to how I have defined/experienced/lived this point in the past, instead of in fact questioning this automated point and actually Re-Aligning Myself as this point so that it in fact support what is best for all and what is best for me and so thus I commit myself to within realizing how I have been normally reacted in relation to this point, to in such a moment stop and breath and to Assess in Self Honesty if I am actually tired or/and looking/seeing where it is in fact this automated experience and behaviour that is coming up/triggering, and thus if within seeing that it is in fact my self accepted pre-programmed behaviour that is “coming up” here I thus Take a breath and stabilize myself within realizing that it makes no sense to just “go off of” my automated behaviour/reaction/experience in this case but to instead assist and support myself to re-align this particular point/aspect of my life into and as what is best for all and thus into and as a self supportive application and so thus I commit myself to assist and support myself to actually get out of bed when “it is still in the 6’s” and thus also here to if I see back-chat coming up about it being to early, and trying to convince me to stay and sleep, I remain here in and as breath and Assert myself to when I wake up and it is “still in the 6’s” to take a breath and focus on this moment of taking a breath and then physically sitting up in bed and getting up, Here also I direct myself to not linger in bed as this only makes it more difficult in where if I simply take a breath and then proceed to getting up, then I am up and that is that.
I commit myself to when and as I wake up and notice that the time is “still in the 6’s” I Direct myself to take a breath and physically sit up in bed and step out and stand up and proceed to get dressed, in where I no more accept and allow myself to react in my automated behaviour and experience in relation to it being 6am where I just close my eyes and go back to sleep and just accept that “its to early”. I see, realize, and understand that my concept of time is based on my mind and not in fact based on or is in relationship to my human physical body in terms of what is to early or not, but that I have instead just programmed myself to not get up when its “really early” due to my fear that this will cause me to be not able to function properly during my day or that if I get up this early that I will “not get anything done” and that “it will be a waste of time” due to me not usually being up that early and so believing that I will just be to tired to be able to do anything, and so to simply avoid this entire point, just sleep until after 7am at least as then I “Know” that I am able to get up and function in Full Awareness, I see, realize and understand that all these worries and concerns and statements within me is my mind and back-chat and just me as the mind attempting to get me to continue in such behaviour as this behaviour of sleeping in and here also accepting my pre-programmed definition of time supports the mind, and so thus I commit myself to breath and when I see all these back-chats and worries coming up, to focus on my physical self corrective application of me taking a breath and then moving myself to physically move myself out of bed and proceeding to get dressed.
I, see/realize/understand that my experience that comes up inside of me in the mornings when it is time to get up from the perspective of all the pictures, back-chat, energetic reactions and physical behaviours is related to how I have manifested and layered this particular point within and as me in terms of my living in the past and so this way have created this very specific experience of and as myself in the mornings where I experience this point of “getting up in the mornings” the same way each morning.
Thus I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness, self corrective application and self investigation/introspection to look at all the points related to “my sleep experience” so that I can within this understand every part of my experience/myself in relation to this point, and within this assisting and supporting myself to Align this particular point to what is best for all.
I commit myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to Align my sleeping patterns to what is best for all, and within this walk with me during this process exploring the various different aspects of which all come up in relation to this point of “sleeping in” or for instance having accepted and allowed myself to define and live out the definition that “6am is early” and so in fact assisting and supporting myself to walk out of my current accepted and allowed sleeping patterns that is more aligned with the mind/self interest/giving up and into alignment with effective self support as Self Responsibility.
I see, realize, and understand the importance of actually understanding the multiple various dimensions of how I have created my current experience in relation to and as Sleep, and thus I commit myself and Direct myself to assist and support myself within writing, self forgiveness and self corrective application to in fact go into the depths of the different dimensions, networks, layers within me that is all working together to culminate into my current sleeping patterns that I am living.
I commit myself to assist and support myself here to “take back my power” by though stopping “giving my power away” to my mind as back-chat and energy experiences that that come up as my “Sleeping In Character” that activate straight away in the mornings often as soon as I open my eyes, where the very first thought I have is always about going back to sleep or not getting up right now.
I commit myself to within opening my eyes in the morning focus on my breathing and my human physical body and in this assist and support myself to transfer my attention to from the mind as the back-chat/internal conversations/thoughts that come up first thing in the morning when I open my eyes when I first wake up to me being here in Self Attention and in this Direct me to instead of moving myself through various inner conversations in my mind, Move myself as the physical and direct me to physically get up.
When and as I see myself in the mornings when I become aware of myself awake, going into the thought of me “wanting to sleep in because I may not get another opportunity to do so” I stop and breath and bring myself Here to and as The Physical. I commit myself to no more accepting and allowing myself to participate with this point of “not wanting to miss out on an ‘opportunity’ to sleep in”, as the justification I give into to justify just going back to sleep. I see realize and understand that I have created the idea that if “I do not sleep in” that I will get tense and stressed out and not be able to function effectively, which is another reason why I have given value to “sleeping in” as I have defined it as “keeping me sane” and “necessary for my self stability” as “something I need” and “can’t go without” and that in defining it in such a way have given it quite a bit of power and thus when and as this point comes up inside of me in on particular mornings, I immediately give into it without hesitation, or very little hesitation just going with the justification, because of how I have in fact programmed this point within me in terms of all the various back-chats all linked to this point in terms of how I have accepted and allowed myself to define this point of “sleeping in in the mornings” with regards to my accepted belief of how it in fact is relating to my life. I see, realize, and understand that I am implying that I need and require to sleep in to be functional instead of assisting and supporting myself to be functional without sleeping in. And so I commit myself to assist and support myself to Direct me to Stop Sleeping in and within this Facing the points of me that come up within “not sleeping in” where in this I Commit myself to Walk through them in my process of Developing Self Stability as I Align myself and my application of me in a way that is best for all, which requires I letting go of “how I used to do things” and then Re-Aligning my Living in a practical way that is based in Self Responsibility.
I see, realize, and understand that “wanting at least one day to ‘sleep in’” is another way of saying that I want at least one day where I can hide from me and hide from my responsibilities. I see, that I do not in fact “’NEED’ to sleep in at least one day, but that I am able to not sleep in at all and simply be stable within myself and within my reality, and thus I commit myself to no more accept and allow myself to participate in and as the justification that I “need” to sleep in, and so when and as I see this ‘reasoning’ as ‘back-chat’ come up coming up within myself in the mornings, where I start to experience a strain inside myself, not wanting to get out of bed, I Stop myself from going into this “experience of myself” in relation to this point of apparently ‘needing’ to sleep in, as I see that I is in fact NOT necessary that sleep in at all, and thus see the deception taking place here, and so Bring myself back here to or Ensuring that I am simply HERE and simply Stand Up through this excuse, meaning to in the moment I wake up and seeing this excuse starting to come up within me, to not go into it, as I see that is self manipulation and that I actually do NOT in fact “Need” to sleep in at all and so I correct myself within and as this particular Justification point, by Taking a breath remaining here as the physical and Directing myself Up and out of be, not a moments attention to this excuse/justification that “I ‘need’ to sleep in” and thus moving myself within and as my self corrective application by physically getting/standing up out of bed so that I am fully out of bed and standing up and getting myself dressed.
I see my “inner logic” as the excuses and justifications as back-chat within my mind that comes up in the mornings when I first become aware that I am awake leads to the physical living out of such logic/excuses/backchats where in I will for instance Roll Over, that statement of rolling over being quite a strong statement I am making which is the statement that “I am not getting up” “I am giving into my back-chat/mind, experience of myself / inner mind logic” and so here I commit myself to direct myself in the mornings when I become aware of myself awake in such a way where I stop my physical actions of living out my back-chat statements as the statement of me deciding to sleep in which takes place as a physical actions as the act of rolling over in my bed, instead, I do not accept and allow myself to roll over in the mornings when I become aware of myself being awake, instead of take one breath and immediately get myself up out of bed, and thus here assisting and supporting myself to “not take it to the rolling over phase” of my “Sleeping In Character” which is the phase where I am now physically living out the behaviour of sleeping in where I have already went through the initial dimensions of the mind such as the thought, back-chat, emotion/reaction/experience phase and am now onto the physical behaviour dimension, and so thus in the mornings when I first become aware of myself awake, I ensure that I do not accept and allow myself to take myself to that physical behaviour dimension of rolling over as the statement that “I am sleeping in” instead I stop this point before it gets there and simply immediately bring my attention to HERE, to my breathing and then in that moment move myself physically to get up, to physically live my self corrective behaviour of Supporting myself in a self supportive way.