Aldin's Journey to Life

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Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 10 Aug 2016, 03:12

(580) Standing in My Own Way – Part 2 @https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... ay-part-2/

Continuation from the last writing: (579) Standing in My Own Way – Part 1. Walking self-corrective statements in today’s session.

1) I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and real-time change find solutions and live them that will support me to not stand in my own way when it comes to me walking my own process where I essentially prevent myself from doing self-forgiveness, writing etc. and through a\the process live this change as the new me in that specific context.

2) I commit myself to when and as a point of blame comes up in me where I (try to) blame an experience or person in my internal or external world for why I (believe that I) cannot or do not apply myself in my process in the forms of self-forgiveness, writing, real-time change etc. to stop right there.

In response I remind myself that the experience or person in my inner or outer reality is not the reason as to why I (believe that I) cannot or do not apply myself in my process but that it is Me, I, Self that is standing in my own way, essentially not accepting and allowing myself to apply\do some writing, self-forgiveness or live real-time change.

I then instead decide to live a word – I decide to live the word: Self-Movement – moving myself internally and externally to do some necessary writing, self-forgiveness and\or real-time change.

3) I commit myself to accepting and allowing myself to let go of my past mistakes in\as not walking\applying myself in process and move on\move past the past and focus on the here and walking now.

With that, I commit myself to (decide to) live the following two words: Moving-On and New-Chance.

4) I commit myself to through writing and self-forgiveness and real-time self-change and any other means of self-introspection within the starting point of self-honesty assist and support myself to overcome\change\redefine my current self-destructive relationship to resistance and change it in a way where I understand it and I understand and establish me\who I am in relationship to resistance and am able to stand and move-on with my self-application despite the experience of resistance.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 13 Aug 2016, 04:00

(581 & 582) Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 1 @https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... on-part-1/

Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 1 of a multi-part series.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to do self-forgiveness and writing when I feel anxious or afraid, especially anxiety, fear and depression related to my relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to when there is conflict in my relationship and I experience anxiety not want to / not feel like applying/doing self-forgiveness because I am too much in my head thinking and worrying about the problems/conflict that came up/exist in the relationship.

I see, realize and understand that applying self-forgiveness, writing and self-change application is actually going to assist and support me to find a solution to the problems the conflict is about and a solution to my experienced anxiety, fear and depression — so it is especially useful in those very moments where I do go through such emotional\feeling experiences\moments.

In that, I commit myself to through self-forgiveness, writing, self-corrective application and living words assist and support myself to understand my anxieties, fears and depression(s) and also find solution(s) for them and words to live (living words) to stick to in moments where I become aware of me going into the experiences of fear, anxiety and depression.

I commit myself to live the word self-support and understanding when\as I experience fear, anxiety and depression: To use the processes of writing and self-forgiveness within self-honesty to open up the anxiety, fear and\or depression and so support me to work towards understanding where it comes from and what my relationship to it is and then also find solutions\ways to change that relationship to one where I stand as the self-directive principle and stability within those emotions\emotional experiences.

Further, I commit myself to live the word stability (self-stability) when and as I experience the emotions of fear, anxiety and depression: Using breath (even four count breath in severe\intense experiences\cases) to remain present\self-aware in my physical body and minimize\reduce\severe my participation time and extent in the emotions and in so doing essentially assist and support myself in stabilizing myself – as a preparation step before I then decide to live a supportive word (such as self-support and understanding as outlined in the self-commitment statement before).

Within that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so much in my head thinking and worrying and participating in my mind that I am so negatively emotionally charged/in an high level of emotional negative experience that I feel like I can’t worry also now about applying self-forgiveness/walking my process.

I see, realize and understand that there is always time for self-support and living my process – for real-time is always here moving in real-time and I am also always here in real-time, moving alongside and as it and therefore I am always having equal opportunities in all moments to make the DECISION to either LIVE a self-supportive self-creation word or participate in my mind (thoughts, emotions, feelings, backchats, imaginations, personalities, characters, behaviors, etc.).

In that, I commit myself to through self-willed writing and self-forgiveness and living words assist and support myself to live self-supportive words rather than participate in my mind until I create myself soundly to do so in every moment all the time, always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry so much and be so much in my head/mind when/as a conflict happens in my relationship – because I think and worry that it is going to ruin everything in the relationship instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that I can discuss the problem and find a solution for it, even if I am alone – I have the tools at my disposal: Self-Honesty, Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Living Words.

Thanks.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 15 Aug 2016, 21:31

(583 & 584) Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 2 @https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... on-part-2/

Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 2 of a multi-part series.

Depression:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in times of experiencing depression\severe depression want to quit on myself and my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that I require to face and open up depression in order to release myself from my depressions and find living words as solutions to live in times of experiencing depression and\or severe depression.

I see, realize and understand that I have lots of support through shared information, for example by and through Eqafe.com interviews to use as a support structure to learn about depression and exactly what it is I must open up and face within me in self-honesty when it comes to depression.

I commit myself to assist and support myself through the processes of writing, self-forgiveness, reading/listening/watching others information-sharing (e.g. through eqafe interview) and living words to understand and overcome my depression(s) and create myself to stand steadfast in my self-directive principle when and as I experience depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I am powerless to depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and believe that I cannot direct myself and continue walking my process if, when and as I am struck by the experience of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto and be convinced of/by the idea and belief that I am powerless to depression in the sense that I cannot move and direct my mind/self in times where I experience or am faced with depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as powerless to depression where I stand in my own way of moving and directing my mind/self in times where I am in the experience of depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the word powerless/powerlessness in relationship to depression where I end up standing in my own way of moving and directing my mind/self in times where I am in the experience of depression.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to live a constructive/self-supportive word or words when I am in the experience of depression so that I assist and support myself through the living of those words to move through the time(s) of being in the experience of depression, so that I remain constant and consistent in my self-application in walking my process in self-honesty even when I am in the experience of depression – to do my part to walk myself out of it eventually.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 17 Aug 2016, 23:45

(585) From Powerless To Capable, Able & Competent @https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... competent/

This is Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 3 of a multi-part series. In the present writing I am walking self-commitment statements and deciding on words to live to re-define my inner relationship to depression as walked/outlined in the previous writing (583 & 584) Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 2.

I commit myself to through writing, self-forgiveness and living words prove to myself that I am indeed more than capable of moving and directing myself/my mind in moments/times of being in and experiencing depression.

I see, realize and understand that I need to make a decision: The decision to live words to move through my experiences of depression and in spite of the depressing times/experiences remain stable, grounded and consistent in my self-direction and self-movement of myself/my mind – and then Keep On Living that Decision Over and Over Again, Every Single Time in Real-Time When and As I am in Depression and don’t ‘feel like’ moving and directing myself/my mind that day/time/moment.

I commit myself to live the/my decision to keep on moving and directing myself/my mind also in moments/times where I experience/am in depression – and to live the word persistence to persist in being self-honest and moving/directing myself/my mind breath by breath, step by step, moment by moment through, out of the depression and through the processes of writing, self-forgiveness and living words assist and support myself to find and live those solutions for my mind-points.

I commit myself to live the words capable, competent and able when and as I experience/feel/accept and allow myself as powerless to my depression experiences:

Capable and Able: Reminding myself that I am indeed capable and have the strength in/as Me/Self as the ability to make a Self-Aware Decision and Live it and the capacity to find/create understanding of my depression and other experiences/emotions/feelings and find solutions for them as well as the ability to live them.

Competent: Seeing, realizing and understanding / Reminding myself that I have the suitable and sufficient skills, knowledge and experience to understand my depression, find solutions for it and Live them through applying the processes of Self-Honest Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Living Words. That even if I am not yet at an exceptional level of understanding myself/my mind, such as my depression, I see, realize and understand that I have the adequate/sufficient amount of self-proof that I can expand my understanding, solutions and living of words/solutions to my problems/depression through Self-Honest Writing, Self-Forgiveness and Living Words – as I have proven to myself countless times/instances throughout my process I walked so far.

— and through this application/living of the aforementioned words Capable, Able and Competent assist and support myself to stop/re-define my relationship/acceptance of myself as being powerless towards depression/the experience(s) of depression and create a new self-supportive relationship to depression where I am stable and directive.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 18 Aug 2016, 23:34

(586) From Holding My Past Against Me To Forgiveness, New-Chance and Starting-Over @https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... ting-over/

This is Living Process also during Fear, Anxiety and Depression – Part 4 of a multi-part series.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to constantly put myself down and talk myself out of walking my process in getting back to consistent self-honest writing, self-forgiveness and living words – by/through holding onto and holding my past/memories against me: Memories/Past instances of ‘falling’ in my process/consistency/application and remaining ‘away’/’silent” in process for lengthy periods of times (months to years).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to keep myself in the cycle of self-powerlessness and self-defeat as well as self-stuckness through holding onto and using my past/memories of ‘failing’ in process/my consistency of my self-application over and over again – against me instead of allowing/giving/gifting myself by myself a new opportunity/chance/window of opportunity to start-over WITHIN myself and ‘resuming’/getting back to my/a consistent self-honest self-application and self-walking in process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see, realize and understand that no one but myself is holding my past/memories of ‘falling’ in process/my self-application and self-walking in process against me but Me/I/Self and that I can accept and allow myself to genuinely and unconditionally forgive myself for it and also accepting and allowing myself to start-over WITHIN myself by ‘resuming’/getting back to a consistent self-application/self-walking in process: Literally living the words Forgiveness/Self-Forgiveness, Starting-Over and New-Chance.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to investigate, define and practice/live the words Forgiveness/Self-Forgiveness, Starting-Over and New-Chance for my mistakes/’falls’ I have experienced/gone through in my process in my past so far and kept off walking process actively for times: In this granting, giving/gifting myself a new window of opportunity to start afresh WITHIN myself and open the door for myself (allow myself) to take the ability/potential by hand to ‘resume’/get back to a consistent self-honest self-application and self-walking in process.

Forgiveness/Self-Forgiveness of my past/mistakes/falls: Genuinely accepting and allowing myself to not hold grudges, anger, hatred and blame towards myself and letting them go in the understanding and commitment that I am aware that it is ‘okay’ to make mistakes, it is part of the journey, as long as one/I am willing to admit to them and source them for UNDERSTANDING/LEARNING from them and will myself to craft SOLUTIONS and Living Words that will allow me to transcend the source/nature/reason of the mistake/fall and be equipped for a next time not to repeat/do it again. Genuinely accepting and allowing myself to within that understanding let-go of my past/mistakes and give myself the opportunity/chance to find solutions and live/practice living words that will aid in transcending my weaknesses/points that require direction in my process. Making Forgiveness/Self-Forgiveness a real/genuine act of letting-go, giving myself a new chance and starting-over within to learn from the mistake, find solution and live words to support in self-change so that I no longer repeat the same mistakes again and exist in/as the same Self again.

New-Chance: Accepting and allowing myself to give new chances to myself if/when/as I make mistakes or fall in process in the realization and understanding and experience that mistakes are part of the journey and not avoidable because I see, realize and understand that they are sources of LEARNING and UNDERSTANDING, they are EDUCATORS and TEACHERS if I/One is willing to make/see mistakes/falls as a life learning lesson to better/improve oneself in one’s Walking and Stand of Self-Honesty, Self-Application, Self-Walking and General Self-Change/Self-Improvement/Self-Perfection. Further seeing, realizing and understanding that I do have the ability and capacity to give myself always new chances when, as and if I am self-willed to learn from my mistakes/falls and find solutions and live words for self-change/self-betterment/self-improvement/self-perfection.

Starting Over: Seeing, realizing and understanding that I always have the chance and ability to start-over inside/within MYSELF when/as I make mistakes and/or fall in points in process IF I but allow/accept myself to give myself a New-Chance and Forgive Myself for my mistakes/falls. Starting-Over by letting-go of my mistakes/falls and not holding my past against me and in so doing be able to see and Grasp/Take/Give to myself the opportunities/the NEW opportunities that are Here right in front of me to be able to ‘resume’/get back/find my way to learning from my mistakes and falls and find solutions and live words to assist and support with making sure I don’t repeat the same mistakes again. Like a blank slate, a Reset button where I let-go of anything I hold against me, anything in my mind/self that I use to stand in my Own Way from Moving On and Emerging Again from my Mistake/Fall and continuing walking process in the understanding that through the tools and support available I have the potential to transcend points/my-points and Move Forward/Move On in the/my process from Consciousness to Self-Awareness Again and Again and Again until I no longer fall.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 04 Sep 2016, 00:43

(587) From: Postponing till Day’s Close – To: Doing Things in Real-Time

I have been walking some self-forgiveness and corrective / commitment statements today on the point of pushing / postponing my responsibilities and self-applications of process (writing, speaking, self-forgiveness, re-defining and living words, SRA, etc.) towards the end of the day, like 10, 15, 30 minutes or an hour before bedtime whenever I had some time during and throughout my day to do so.

So, essentially not utilizing the real-time moments or slots of 5, 10, 15, 30 minutes or whatever the time-slots would be that open up for me during and throughout my days where I do not have anything to do really and in which I could do my process-applications. Instead I would give into resistance and postpone everything until it’s a couple of minutes before bed-time and only then do it.

However, I’d naturally be facing self-anger around bed-time when I would be willing and about to do all those responsibilities/things because I am aware of my own self-honesty and that I acted against it in the real-time moments in which I decided to stand in my own way and give into my experiences of resistance, etc. and postpone my process-applications rather towards the end of my day.

I decided on the following words to apply/live/practice to assist and support me as a solution for the above mentioned/described point:

Self-Will
Willing myself as the Force within/as Me/My Being/My Self-Awareness to utilize the real-time moments that would open up (5, 10, 30 minutes etc.) throughout my day to do some self-support things (writing, speaking, self-forgiveness, re-defining/living words, etc) and will myself to do it. Not accepting and allowing myself to stand in my own way and instead be self-willed in taking my decision of just doing it through into actually doing it.

Self-Movement
Seeing, realizing and understanding that nothing moves towards/for self-support in me unless I am the Mover that 1. Initializes the Movement and 2. Keeps the Movement consistent — like being My Own Fuel for the Self-Movement. Thus, I am being that required Force in Me to initialize and keep my Movement of Myself Externally and Internally in/as my Beingness consistent to in moments where I have some time to do/walk self-supportive things, do so: E.g. literally move myself physically and start speaking, writing etc. And Internally utilize the support of the words Self-Will and Self-Authority to support the word Self-Movement.

Self-Authority
Being and standing as the authority of/as myself over myself. Seeing, realizing and understanding that I have the capacity to move, will and direct myself within myself. Taking that internal stand and decision within me of strict and stern steadfastness of “Till Here No Further – I am doing this.” whenever time opens up for me throughout my day in which I can do some self-supportive things for/in my self-process and do them. Not accepting and allowing my mind/my experiences to unauthorize me from self-movement and self-direction but instead I am being/expressing self-authorization/self-permission to Move and Direct myself to apply myself.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 11 May 2017, 03:56

Comfort Zones and Self-Creation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate and exist within and as the pattern and to tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of Blaming others and trying to find the fault in them for why I think that I cannot share something with them.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that yes, there are situations and information that I may not be able to share with others – depending on how they take it and whether or not they will use the information against me and compromise my survival in this world or compromise my personal process – but apart from that others are not to blame for a type of relationship I have with them, because I am at least half of the cookie, so to speak, that makes the relationship cookie whole — meaning that I am The One who is responsible for at least half of ‘how’ the relationship with another is; the state and depth of intimacy and comfort of it.

Within that, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to always bring the point back to self, and in this case bring the relationship state I have with someone back to self and see where I can improve on MY PART of the relationship state instead of looking at the fault in the other, because then nothing will change in the relationship. I see, realize and understand that I am The One that needs to make the decision and LIVE it to change the relationship within and as me/my part.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of justifying why I cannot share myself with people I am close with and in that fighting for my limitations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed the fear, the long existent fear within me of vulnerability to manipulate and sabotage and limit me through my acceptance and allowance and participation and tolerance towards it from opening up to others and sharing myself with others, developing deeper, more meaningful and life-long relationships based on support, equality and what is best for all life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and as and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the mind pattern of and as judging myself through others eyes because within me I still have not yet defined myself/who I am and who I would like to be and be defined as through the living of words in awareness and self-honesty as an expression of self-creation.

So, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to support myself to undo the pattern and tendency of mine to judge myself through other people by walking a process of redefining and living words to live words that I would love to define myself as and be defined by — in this process I am CREATING myself, I am CREATING Who I am in the image and likeness of my own self-directed self-honesty and self-awareness. Then, once I Know Me, Who I am and what I will accept and allow within me and in the ‘Who I am’ and ‘Who and what I am becoming/creating/accepting as myself’ – I will not have any room / acceptance / tolerance for self-judgement and judging me through others to exist in me.

As, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand and remind myself that I will only judge me through others or through my own eyes if I haven’t yet established / created who I am in self-honesty and self-awareness and therefor I do not Know who I am and in that I give the mind the opportunity and free space to step in and now DECIDE FOR ME / IN PLACE OF ME/SELF the ‘Who I am’ and ‘What I am doing/becoming and accepting’ within a participar relationship/point within me, my world and reality.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and as and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of and as Using shame and embarrassment as a way of self-sabotage so that I don’t have to go through and face challenging and unpleasant experiences and points within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use shame and embarrassment and to tolerate using those two emotions as self-manipulative and self-sabotaging methods to remain in my comfort zone and not take that extra step or walk the extra mile of facing and walking through and working through and understanding myself within a challenging or unpleasant emotion, feeling, energy-experience or point that comes up and manifests and I go through within any point in time in my process, in my life, world and reality – inner and outer.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand and remind myself that if I / Me / Self do not take the extra step or walk the extra mile and make and act upon the decision to step out of my comfort zone and face, walk through and understand myself within and as and through challenging and unpleasant points within to to the point of finding solutions and changing myself in relation to those points I am facing and existing as and accepting within and as me — that no one will do it for me, no one can do it for me and I will thus never be able to expand myself and change myself , change these points within me and my life and existence — for I see, realize and understand that I am The One and Only One that can make the decision and LIVE it to change something within, of, as and about ME/MYSELF/Who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and as and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of Perpetuating bad/destructive relationship habits through using the past and memories of when things didn’t turn out well against the present moment and justifying why I do or don’t do/live something.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand and remind myself how much simpler and easier and smoother and more accessible self-change and self-understanding would be and become if I but allow myself to drop the judgement, justifications, excuses and holding-onto-past-mistakes and past-failures and instead allow me to approach and face and take the present moment, the present issue anew and unconditionally walk it and work with it solution-oriented.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to also use judgement/self-judgement over past mistakes and failures to condemn myself to a ‘set in stone’ definition/acceptance and conviction within myself that there is no solution to a problem / point I have because I backchat ‘Here look, this is where I tried to find a solution and/or change this/that point in my past and it didn’t work, it failed’ and to from there go into an accepted state of giving-up and self-defeat – instead of seeing, realizing, understanding and reminding me that just because a solution or method or way of trying to change something within me/who I am didn’t work or didn’t yield a success in the past trials does not mean there is NO solution at all – simply means I have not yet considered all necessary dimensions involved within the point I am wanting or trying to change within and as me – and so it means I have to go back to the drawing board of self-forgiveness, writing, sounding, redefining and living words, opening up dimensions or other points that may be connected to that initial point I want to change within me and take it from there — Not allowing me and not tolerating to Give Up on me and a solution and the potential of self-change.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 14 May 2017, 00:00

Comfort Zones and Consequence

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move my eyes towards the ground because I am shutting down within myself and going into an isolation from the environment, from the moment and what is happening in this moment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into mind states of shutting down within me and isolation/avoidance from the environment and moment and what is happening and going on within a particular moment, because it is easier to avoid and try to run away from the moment and the challenges that I face than facing them, walking them through the process tools and changing myself/the point within and as me.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to retreat into myself, trying to avoid and run away and turn a blind eye and ignorance towards my inner experiences that I have and am going through within this moment and to go into inner shut down , because I feel hopeless and helpless and desperate towards the moment, both my inner experiences and reaction as well as the physical outer things and consequences that are here.


I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to retreat into myself, shut down within me and try to isolate myself from the moment, my inner experiences and what is going on in the world/physical and consequences of my actions and decisions because doing that is my comfort zone, I feel a sense / feeling of protection and safety within me.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I always fight for to remain within my comfort zone and move within the parameters of my comfort zone then I will never expand or be able to learn more about me and my experiences and find solutions and practically test and live them to eventually reach that point of self-change, changing myself and my living/life to the better.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand and remind myself that to be able to expand myself, to learn and create understanding about myself, who I am and change myself and my living/life – I need to allow myself to continuously step beyond my comfort zone and push myself to expand, to step outside my known and established comfort zones and step into the unknown and into the new and uncertain territory in life, in self-trust that I am equipped with the process tools and myself, my breath and my self-directive principle and self-honesty to face whatever it is I step into in my life-path and process.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use the feeling of safety and serenity and protection and comfort I get from shutting down and isolating myself from the environment and people and my inner experiences and outer happenings in my world, life, reality and self – as an excuse and justification to remain in my established comfort zone(s) and not step beyond and outside them and EXPAND, LEARN, UNDERSTAND, ESTABLISH/CREATE SELF-CHANGE.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to redefine and live the words ‘safety’, ‘protection’, ‘serenity’, ‘calmness’ and ‘comfort’ in practical day-to-day life in all areas of life instead of relying on these words as energetic feelings/energetic feeling experiences that then bind and limit me to only a limited, and also in this case self-destructive, form of application (going into shutdown and isolation and so continuously remaining in my established comfort zone and never stepping beyond and so not giving myself any opportunity and ability to EXPAND and CREATE more of Me/Self/Who I am).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into blame and anger towards my parents and others when I go into shutdown and isolation within me, because my assumption and interpretation and point of blame is that it is the environment and the people that force me to go into shutdown and isolation because of who they are, how they talk or react to me — instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that A) nobody but me is 100% responsible for my own inner experience, for they exist in me, the others and other things outside of me only ever can act as TRIGGERS that trigger the emotions and feelings that but already EXIST IN ME; and B) that I am using this point of blame as a justification, excuse and method of self-manipulation to remain in my comfort zones and not have to step out of it and face the world of the unknown and new and uncertain and the world of challenges and walking through the challenges and the world of self-change and the practical process of self-change involved/required.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist in and participate in and as and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of going into shutdown and blankness when I feel and think that I cannot share certain information with someone because I am ashamed and embarrassed about it.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I really practically should not share certain information with someone else due to it’s nature and where I or the other person is in their process according to my assessment of the person – then it is simply a practical point of not sharing – and then it is nothing to go into shutdown or blankness within my mind for.

Also, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I am embarrassed or ashamed about sharing a particular piece of information with someone, like someone close to me but would like to share – then I will never be able to break this cycle if I continuously accept and allow myself to go in, participate in and hide in my pattern of going into shutdown and blankness within me and within my mind – and that it is a DECISION I have to take and then LIVE to break this cycle, to say No More, Till Here No Further and in that immediately not accept and allow myself to continue to participate and accept and tolerate hiding within the pattern of shutting down and blankness, but instead move and share the information — seeing, realizing, understanding and reminding myself that I cannot hide within the emotions of shame and embarrassment for ever and that doing so is in fact keeping me only within my established comfort zone and moving constantly and continuously within the parameters of my comfort zone is going to limit me to only the comfort zone and in that not give me the opportunity and ability to EXPAND, to LEARN and UNDERSTAND more about Me/Self/Who I am and CREATE more of Me/Self/Who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and as and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of Retreating into myself because I feel a sense of safeness and protection in me, like as if no one can touch and harm me — instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that this feeling of safety, protection and comfort is because I stay in my comfort zone and do not step beyond it to face the challenges of working with and walking through my reactions, my emotions and feeling and experiences within me and what is going in my world and reality and life, which in a way penetrates or challenges the feeling of comfort and protection and safety.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to instead of relying on the limiting definition and ‘living’ of the word safety, protection and comfort in forms of feeling-energy-experiences through shutting down, blankness and staying in my comfort zone(s) – to redefine the words and see/establish where and how I can live and become these words practically as a living self-expression and self-nature and realize that THEN since the word IS ME/AS ME in my LIVING I can also live and express it and experience it when facing and walking through challenges in life and the process of self-understanding, self-realization and self-change — that I can then LIVE and EXPERIENCE these words of comfort, protection, safety also when I step beyond and out of comfort zones and into the unknown, into the new and into challenges.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to exist and participate within and as and tolerate the existence and my participation within and as the pattern of Retreating into myself as a means of self-manipulation in hope that doing so will save my ass from consequences.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that if I chop a tree in the wrong way and it starts falling in my direction and eventually onto me, then turning my back to the tree will not make the tree stop falling onto me — the same with consequence: When I make a decision and take action within that decision and the nature of the decision created consequence then the consequence has already been CREATED the moment I took action within a particular decision within me (the tree is falling/has been chopped) and retreating into me, going into depression, shutdown, blankness, blame, avoidance (turning the back to the tree) is not going to halt/stop the consequence and make it disappear and not happen (the tree will not stop falling just because I turned my back on it).

But, I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize, understand and remind myself that it is not about avoiding or running away from the consequence that I have already created through my actions and decision I made within me and my life, BUT to LEARN from the consequence, to create UNDERSTANDING about what and how have I in my decision, in my actions, in my living, in my Who I am CREATED the consequence, to then from there UNDERSTAND and SEE , and REALIZE how I can and have to CHANGE Me/Self/Who I am in thought, word and deed – in decision and action/living so that I do not repeat/recreate the same or similar consequence again but instead live more self-aware and life-aware.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 28 May 2017, 23:58

Becoming part of this world

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to ask myself the question: How do I become more a part of this world?

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to realize and see that to start becoming a part of this world more I can start with caring more about my immediate society; this is family and friends.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to check how they are doing, whether they need some assistance and support with something, add my insights and perspectives into the conversation, into their problem sharing.


I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to start reading into news daily to keep up with what is going on in the world and to start with my own country, then expand slowly but surely over time.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand and remind myself that what I have right now – money, a job, a roof over my head and food has been given to me by this world in some way or another and that I must give back to this world, in little acts of giving, such as giving support, assistance, spreading awareness through insights, conversations and so on with others in this world.

In that, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take for granted what I have through what is give to me by this world, instead of putting in the effort and time that I do have because my basic needs of survival are taken care of, to see how I can give back to this world — transforming my daily living from just ‘taking’/’receiving’ to ‘receiving and giving’ — creating a balance, an equilibrium between what I receive and what I give back to this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather stay and fight for staying within the parameters and lines of my own already-established comfort zones where I am only or mostly occupied with tv shows, movies, music, anime and totally disregard the real stuff/information/movement that is going on in the real world through for example following world news — but not just from those major media and news companies, but also from independent reporters and journalists that write on blogs or share information on vlogs.

I forgive myself that I haven’t accepted and allowed myself to see, realize and understand that I don’t now need to go and read on world news ten hours a day, but to at least START, to at least BEGIN and in real-time throughout the day here and there read up on news, on events that are going on and things that are happening in the world and so broaden and build up and spread/expand my awareness more and more into the actual real-world and the movement happening within the real physical reality instead of just getting more knowledgeable about tv shows, songs, movies, celebrities, animes, etc.



Dilan
Posts: 650
Joined: 13 Jun 2011, 18:48

Re: Aldin's Journey to Life

Postby Dilan » 31 May 2017, 15:41

Machine Learning and Equality and Oneness

What can humans learn from machines?

1. The principle of Equality and Oneness
2. The principle of Support to become the best potential version of Self

https://aldinsjourneytolife.wordpress.c ... d-oneness/

https://youtu.be/Rq7bPESQBck




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